#56. What About Dads? The Importance of Parenting Together, What Spiritual Leadership Looks Like, and What To Do When You Don't Know How To Lead

Stephanie: 00:00:01

They're the joyful agains our children shout on the swings, the

2

: 00:00:04

exhausting agains of cooking and laundry,

and the difficult agains of discipline.

3

: 00:00:10

So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

4

: 00:00:13

So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

5

: 00:00:16

to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

6

: 00:00:21

We believe God's Word is

the key to untangle from the

7

: 00:00:24

confusion and overwhelm we feel.

8

: 00:00:27

Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

9

: 00:00:33

Welcome back to another

episode of the again, podcast.

10

: 00:00:37

Where we believe that what parents do

over and over truly matters to God.

11

: 00:00:42

I'm your host, Stephanie Hickox.

12

: 00:00:44

And this is brought to you

by interested ministries.

13

: 00:00:47

We are working on a big project

over here and something that's

14

: 00:00:50

been a priority to me for years.

15

: 00:00:52

And I couldn't help, but give you

a little taste of it right now.

16

: 00:00:56

I had the blessing of sitting down

with my aunt, Betsy and uncle David.

17

: 00:00:59

Who have been some of my heroes of

the faith since I was a little girl.

18

: 00:01:03

They are some of the most godly and

most joyful people I've ever met.

19

: 00:01:08

The way that they steadfastly love others

and love Christ has inspired so many.

20

: 00:01:13

And the way that they have parented

their children and their grandchildren.

21

: 00:01:17

Is it continual Testament to

the principles of God's word.

22

: 00:01:20

In this episode, I ask them

some big picture questions.

23

: 00:01:24

About what God's word calls parents do.

24

: 00:01:27

And about how fathers can be involved.

25

: 00:01:29

If you're a dad.

26

: 00:01:30

One in confirmation that what

you do is incredibly important.

27

: 00:01:34

You'll find it here in this episode.

28

: 00:01:36

And if you're a dad wondering how

you can come alongside your wife or

29

: 00:01:40

how you can lead your family, you'll

certainly find answers for that here too.

30

: 00:01:44

We truly want to equip parents.

31

: 00:01:47

To honor God's word.

32

: 00:01:48

We know you're facing so much information.

33

: 00:01:51

In culture right now.

34

: 00:01:52

And we want you to be able to shrug all

that off and be steadfast and resolute

35

: 00:01:57

and pointing your family to Christ.

36

: 00:02:00

Be blessed as you listen

to the time tested words.

37

: 00:02:04

From God's word.

38

: 00:02:05

That I've seen, lived out over and over.

39

: 00:02:07

And Betsy and David's family.

40

: 00:02:09

If this interview makes you want to

learn more about interested with the

41

: 00:02:12

child's heart and parenting biblically.

42

: 00:02:15

You can head to our website, www

dot entrusted, ministries.com.

43

: 00:02:19

And get our book for couples.

44

: 00:02:21

It is only $15 Because we want to

make sure it's accessible as possible.

45

: 00:02:27

For a couples to go through together.

46

: 00:02:29

It's a great resource to read as

an individual as well, and even

47

: 00:02:33

a fantastic baby shower gift.

48

: 00:02:37

Stephanie: What is the number

one question you've received

49

: 00:02:40

about entrusted over the years?

50

: 00:02:43

Betsy: Well over the years, the

number one question I've received

51

: 00:02:46

is how do I get my husband to.

52

: 00:02:51

Bill in the blank.

53

: 00:02:52

To do this, to do that, to do whatever.

54

: 00:02:55

And basically what the question

is is how do I change my husband?

55

: 00:03:00

And that is a pretty serious

question because I don't think

56

: 00:03:04

very many husbands would say.

57

: 00:03:07

That wouldn't be their

number one question.

58

: 00:03:09

How do I change my wife?

59

: 00:03:10

So we really need.

60

: 00:03:12

Need to look at that and

determine what's going on.

61

: 00:03:16

And often we need to really understand

that it's the holy spirit, that same

62

: 00:03:20

device, our husbands, not ourselves,

it's not our job to change our husbands.

63

: 00:03:25

And so.

64

: 00:03:26

What are the dynamics

going on in the home?

65

: 00:03:28

And let's figure out some things

about how we can work together.

66

: 00:03:31

And we go through all of those

things in entrusted, in how to build

67

: 00:03:34

marriage and how to build oneness.

68

: 00:03:36

But then there is that reality

too, of wanting your husband

69

: 00:03:39

to learn what you're learning.

70

: 00:03:40

And these moms are spending this

year, diving deep and like moms

71

: 00:03:45

are so in the details of home life.

72

: 00:03:47

And we often love to

research those little things.

73

: 00:03:50

So whatever we can do.

74

: 00:03:53

To help.

75

: 00:03:53

Do I together in that.

76

: 00:03:55

So initially we added something called

the home front application to the study.

77

: 00:04:00

Which was rather than making women feel

like they were directly teaching their

78

: 00:04:03

husbands to engage them in a conversation

about the lesson that we had that week.

79

: 00:04:09

And they could, you know, go out for

coffee or sit at home and just engage

80

: 00:04:13

in a conversation about the topic and

just dig deeper into some things that

81

: 00:04:19

maybe they typically wouldn't talk about

and come to an understanding together.

82

: 00:04:24

And then it keep, it kept growing

further from that because maybe

83

: 00:04:28

couples were doing that together.

84

: 00:04:30

But then we realized we really

needed something that couples could

85

: 00:04:32

do together to do the whole study.

86

: 00:04:35

David, maybe you want to

speak to that a little bit.

87

: 00:04:37

David: First of all, Every time I hear.

88

: 00:04:40

That question.

89

: 00:04:42

My blood pressure goes up a little bit.

90

: 00:04:44

And the reason why is biblically

speaking, the husband.

91

: 00:04:50

Needs to be the leader,

spiritual leader of his home.

92

: 00:04:53

And he needs to be pointing

his, not only his wife, but his

93

: 00:04:58

children, especially to the Lord.

94

: 00:05:01

And three things that I, I, I

try to encourage and challenge

95

: 00:05:05

every husband to, to be about.

96

: 00:05:08

The first thing is they would

provide for their family.

97

: 00:05:12

The second thing is they

would protect their family.

98

: 00:05:15

And the third thing and probably

the most important is they would

99

: 00:05:19

spiritually lead their family.

100

: 00:05:21

And so we have to stop

as men being passive.

101

: 00:05:25

We need to step up and do what

God has asked us to do this.

102

: 00:05:29

Isn't something that.

103

: 00:05:30

You know, this was a good idea.

104

: 00:05:32

This is what the Lord commands

a father and a husband to be.

105

: 00:05:37

In his home.

106

: 00:05:38

Stephanie: Yes.

107

: 00:05:39

Amen.

108

: 00:05:40

Yeah.

109

: 00:05:40

I think there are a lot of

men that desire to do it.

110

: 00:05:44

And I think there are a lot

of men that weren't equipped.

111

: 00:05:46

Maybe they feel, I

didn't have that example.

112

: 00:05:48

What would you say to those men

that are looking for more direction?

113

: 00:05:53

David: Well, first of all,

they, they, they have to get

114

: 00:05:55

solidly grounded in scripture.

115

: 00:05:58

They have to have a foundation.

116

: 00:06:00

In which to build on.

117

: 00:06:02

And so if, if, if they, if

they've never been discipled, if

118

: 00:06:05

they, if they don't really know.

119

: 00:06:08

How to lead and, and.

120

: 00:06:10

And do these things at the Lord.

121

: 00:06:12

And expects, I believe of a, of

a husband and a father to do.

122

: 00:06:16

They need to get themselves

in some type of Bible study.

123

: 00:06:20

Our discipleship group that.

124

: 00:06:23

These things are taught and they not

only can apply them to their own life.

125

: 00:06:27

But they know how to pass

them on to their kids.

126

: 00:06:31

And so.

127

: 00:06:32

It's the second Timothy two, two thing.

128

: 00:06:34

The things that you've heard from me in

the presence of many witnesses, these

129

: 00:06:37

entrust to faithful men who will be

able to teach others and for, for dads.

130

: 00:06:43

They need to be able to

teach their own children.

131

: 00:06:46

Primarily don't expect the Sunday school

teachers and the youth group leaders

132

: 00:06:51

to take the full responsibility of.

133

: 00:06:54

Giving your teaching your own children.

134

: 00:06:56

You need to be a part of that.

135

: 00:06:58

The husband does that.

136

: 00:06:59

That does.

137

: 00:07:00

Stephanie: And we can

start small according to.

138

: 00:07:02

Deuteronomy six and teach your children

about my faithfulness and yeah.

139

: 00:07:06

When you sit when you rise and you

walk when you stand and just bringing

140

: 00:07:10

him into those little moments.

141

: 00:07:11

And I think having courage

to talk about him, right.

142

: 00:07:14

Opening up the Bible and it

might be a verse here or there.

143

: 00:07:18

We don't have to make it so complicated.

144

: 00:07:20

Betsy: Right.

145

: 00:07:21

Yeah, I think the.

146

: 00:07:23

The verse is that, that the

antecedent to those verses.

147

: 00:07:26

It stood around at MI five, which was

the Jewish mama that said, you know, we

148

: 00:07:30

are the number one thing we teach our

children is to love the Lord, our God,

149

: 00:07:34

with all our heart, mind, and soul.

150

: 00:07:37

And then it says these things, which I'm

commanding you today, teach these to your

151

: 00:07:41

children in the little moments of the day.

152

: 00:07:43

You know, when you're laying down, when

you're rising up, when you sit, when

153

: 00:07:46

you're sitting, when you're walking,

by the way, and all of those things.

154

: 00:07:49

And so it's a moment by moment thing

that we're instilling in their lives,

155

: 00:07:52

that these are the most important things.

156

: 00:07:54

And definitely we want moms and

dads partnering together in that.

157

: 00:07:58

And so that is a big goal of interest.

158

: 00:08:02

I

159

: 00:08:02

Stephanie: Can remember when my kids are

really little and dinnertime can be a zoo.

160

: 00:08:07

AI, just having all four of them seated

in a chair was a big accomplishment.

161

: 00:08:11

And my husband would eat so quickly and I

would be sitting there, you know, cutting

162

: 00:08:16

up the food and everything, and he would

often want to get up and do the dishes.

163

: 00:08:20

Which I appreciated.

164

: 00:08:21

But I remember just kind of having

the idea once, like, Hey sweetie,

165

: 00:08:26

would you read this devotional?

166

: 00:08:27

Like you finished earlier?

167

: 00:08:29

And the kids were there.

168

: 00:08:31

It was just a moment to engage them.

169

: 00:08:32

And he was so willing.

170

: 00:08:33

Sometimes.

171

: 00:08:35

We can lovingly just give a suggestion

and it doesn't have to feel like the wife

172

: 00:08:40

is taking over that the wife is leading.

173

: 00:08:42

But maybe just equipping him with an idea.

174

: 00:08:45

I spend a lot of time

with my other moms and.

175

: 00:08:48

We kind of bounce ideas off of each other.

176

: 00:08:50

And I, I think we sometimes

have more of that opportunity.

177

: 00:08:53

So to just give your husband a

little idea, I think we could.

178

: 00:08:58

Make this moment more effective

and beneficial for our family.

179

: 00:09:01

Betsy: Absolutely.

180

: 00:09:02

Yes.

181

: 00:09:02

When we originally wrote in

trusted, we had a long sort of

182

: 00:09:08

school year, long curriculum.

183

: 00:09:10

And we take moms through it.

184

: 00:09:11

It takes about nine months.

185

: 00:09:13

And then we came up with a

couples' version, which also

186

: 00:09:16

takes about nine months and

they're, they're pretty thorough.

187

: 00:09:22

And so in this book, actually, we

took the Homefront applications

188

: 00:09:25

a little bit further.

189

: 00:09:27

Where we had the may conference

declarations and where they could say from

190

: 00:09:32

this state forward, this is a conviction

of ours that we instilled this particular.

191

: 00:09:37

Conviction in our home.

192

: 00:09:39

And I think that's a really great

step that couples can take together.

193

: 00:09:44

Stephanie: As a mom, I'm always

so blessed when I get to go into

194

: 00:09:47

a trusted and just hear the truth

of scripture washed over me.

195

: 00:09:51

And we want that for dads too.

196

: 00:09:53

I think moms are coming home and

excited about what they've heard

197

: 00:09:56

and wanting to get him on board.

198

: 00:09:58

Betsy: Yeah.

199

: 00:09:58

And we saw the beauty of doing the

long-term study and we still do, because

200

: 00:10:03

then we know that the women really do

go deep in the study and they don't

201

: 00:10:07

just do six weeks together where they

may be holding back a little bit, but

202

: 00:10:11

they really get to know each other.

203

: 00:10:12

They let themselves be known.

204

: 00:10:13

They minister to each other.

205

: 00:10:15

And they really become lifelong

friends and B you know,

206

: 00:10:18

their kids become playmates.

207

: 00:10:20

They do a lot of things together.

208

: 00:10:21

We really love that idea of mutual

ministry together, but then we also

209

: 00:10:25

see the purpose and the usefulness

of doing some lessons for couples.

210

: 00:10:30

Stephanie: People might look at this

and think, wow, that is a big book.

211

: 00:10:35

But, as I re-read it, I was so impressed

by how many great stories you tell in it.

212

: 00:10:40

And it was, it's really

such a delightful read.

213

: 00:10:42

So don't be intimidated by the size.

214

: 00:10:45

I think you do such a wonderful

job of weaving these deep biblical

215

: 00:10:48

truths and really great stories.

216

: 00:10:51

Betsy: Tell us first, why and

trusted, why did you name it and

217

: 00:10:54

trusted with a child's heart?

218

: 00:10:56

I named it in trusted because in

trusted really means to be given

219

: 00:11:02

over something for safekeeping.

220

: 00:11:05

And we have been stewarded

our children by God.

221

: 00:11:09

So the mentality of most people is that.

222

: 00:11:13

Oh, these are my kids.

223

: 00:11:15

This is my body I can do with whatever

I want with this life inside me.

224

: 00:11:20

Preborn or after, and, I can raise

my kids any way that I want, but

225

: 00:11:26

the Bible says, otherwise, the

Bible says they are not your own.

226

: 00:11:30

And the Bible says, even from conception,

they are the Lords in Psalm 1 39.

227

: 00:11:35

And in New Zealand.

228

: 00:11:36

18.

229

: 00:11:37

It says all souls belong to God.

230

: 00:11:40

And so he is entrusting them

to us for his safekeeping.

231

: 00:11:44

And for what purpose it says in

Malakai two 15 in the English standard

232

: 00:11:49

version that to raise godly offspring.

233

: 00:11:52

So God has entrusted them to us.

234

: 00:11:55

And even in that first side, love where

it says even further, he's given us a

235

: 00:11:59

portion of his spirit to accomplish this

goal, which is to raise godly offspring.

236

: 00:12:06

And so as parents, we want to submit to

this holy spirit and steward properly.

237

: 00:12:15

What we've been entrusted with, and

that is this reward of children.

238

: 00:12:20

We have to always remember

that our children are reward.

239

: 00:12:23

They're not just a surprise,

although sometimes they're surprised,

240

: 00:12:28

but they're never a burden.

241

: 00:12:30

They're never an inconvenience.

242

: 00:12:31

They're never anything like that.

243

: 00:12:34

They are a reward.

244

: 00:12:36

It says in Psalm 1 27,

which is basically our.

245

: 00:12:39

Ky chapter foreign trusted.

246

: 00:12:41

And I really love how God created and

designed the family, designed all of

247

: 00:12:47

society with the basic little unit.

248

: 00:12:50

Of the family as just the tiny little

unit in which all of this would happen.

249

: 00:12:56

And a mother and a father, it says

from the beginning and that they

250

: 00:13:00

together would be as godly offspring.

251

: 00:13:02

So we are.

252

: 00:13:04

We have families.

253

: 00:13:05

And then the church is

really a family of families.

254

: 00:13:09

And that's what I really love when we

see that all families come together.

255

: 00:13:15

And can be.

256

: 00:13:17

Almost raising our children as a group.

257

: 00:13:20

And the reason I love that is

because Titus we know the Titus two

258

: 00:13:24

verses then say the older women are

Teach the younger women, the older

259

: 00:13:27

men are to teach the younger men.

260

: 00:13:29

And why would this work so

perfectly in the church?

261

: 00:13:32

Because when we look at our

lives, We can see some gaps.

262

: 00:13:36

My husband's father died young.

263

: 00:13:39

My dad died young, so my children

didn't have grandparents, but in

264

: 00:13:42

the church they can have grandpas.

265

: 00:13:44

In most of society, we congregate

to the people that are itch.

266

: 00:13:49

We go to a soccer game and all the

parents are the same age as the same ages.

267

: 00:13:54

And the kids are the same age.

268

: 00:13:56

But not so in church.

269

: 00:13:57

So God intended and designed this so

that the older women would integrate with

270

: 00:14:02

the younger women and teach them what,

how to love their husbands, to how to.

271

: 00:14:08

Encourage them, how to

love their children.

272

: 00:14:10

Most of all.

273

: 00:14:11

And I think that this is not only

a mandate, but he has created

274

: 00:14:15

the design for this to happen.

275

: 00:14:16

And it's really a beautiful thing.

276

: 00:14:18

So that's what we S that's

how we say we're in trusted.

277

: 00:14:22

And We're entrusted with those sweet

little ones with those little rewards.

278

: 00:14:26

And it's such a reassuring thing.

279

: 00:14:27

What do we know?

280

: 00:14:28

The Lord loves them more than we do.

281

: 00:14:30

And that he's for them.

282

: 00:14:32

Yeah.

283

: 00:14:32

And he's drawing them and he's patient

and he's working to sanctify them.

284

: 00:14:37

It takes such a burden

off of our shoulders.

285

: 00:14:39

And I think one other point to add to

that is that when I see a mother who

286

: 00:14:44

is struggling with a child, I always

like to encourage her and say, the Lord

287

: 00:14:48

knows exactly what that child needs.

288

: 00:14:50

And he is giving it.

289

: 00:14:52

To you, he knows that you can

provide that child with that

290

: 00:14:56

because he has sovereignly.

291

: 00:14:59

Providentially made you the

parent, the mother of that child.

292

: 00:15:03

We should be able to take

great comfort in that.

293

: 00:15:07

And we know that God puts on

his grace out on our lives.

294

: 00:15:10

Every single day.

295

: 00:15:12

To help us accomplish these things.

296

: 00:15:14

And he's with us, like you say,

in every little step of it,

297

: 00:15:18

which is a great comfort also.

298

: 00:15:21

Stephanie: Yes.

299

: 00:15:21

And I do think it's so important

that we seek the wisdom of the

300

: 00:15:25

generations that have gone before us.

301

: 00:15:26

I think there's such a tendency with

social media and technology to be

302

: 00:15:31

following these young influencers and

I just see that trend, that we're

303

: 00:15:36

looking much to people our age.

304

: 00:15:39

When God does want us to seek the wisdom

of those that have gone before us.

305

: 00:15:43

And even if you can't ask someone,

what time, or what age did you

306

: 00:15:48

let your child have a phone?

307

: 00:15:50

Still the principles of

guarding their heart.

308

: 00:15:53

Yeah.

309

: 00:15:53

So you can respect how they

handled that in their home.

310

: 00:15:56

So I think we'd really need to give.

311

: 00:15:59

More time and invest more

in those relationships.

312

: 00:16:02

Betsy: And often when we've designed the

small groups and entrusted, we designed

313

: 00:16:06

them so that the leaders are older women,

but there will be a group of women, the

314

: 00:16:11

same ages with the same age children.

315

: 00:16:14

So that they're going through

pretty much the same things, but

316

: 00:16:17

they will have that counterbalance

of older women with wisdom and.

317

: 00:16:22

They can have discussions.

318

: 00:16:24

And I think it all works really well.

319

: 00:16:27

As far as providing mutual ministry

to the needs that they have currently.

320

: 00:16:32

Every chapter you've subtitled.

321

: 00:16:34

A godly parents.

322

: 00:16:36

Gabby parent is committed to this.

323

: 00:16:38

Can you explain?

324

: 00:16:39

What that means at godly parents?

325

: 00:16:42

Yes.

326

: 00:16:42

So every subtitle and

I'll look at one here.

327

: 00:16:45

The first one is a godly

mother is teachable.

328

: 00:16:48

For the first lesson of that

book, it would be a godly

329

: 00:16:51

mother and father are teachable.

330

: 00:16:53

So that's a huge thing.

331

: 00:16:55

And that would be the sort of,

one of the premises when the

332

: 00:16:58

presuppositions of the lesson.

333

: 00:17:00

And that just means.

334

: 00:17:02

When we say godly, it doesn't mean

that we're godly in and of ourselves.

335

: 00:17:06

It's a.

336

: 00:17:07

We're declaring our

dependency upon the Lord.

337

: 00:17:11

It's the.

338

: 00:17:12

A statement of dependency upon

him to be able to do anything

339

: 00:17:17

that we are able to do.

340

: 00:17:19

And so a godly mother is teachable.

341

: 00:17:23

Just means that Lord, I will be teachable

when I completely depend upon you.

342

: 00:17:30

And that's how the subtitles work.

343

: 00:17:33

Stephanie: Fantastic.

344

: 00:17:34

Often moms are involved in the more day

to day discipleship And the discipline,

345

: 00:17:39

and that's natural and a lot of homes.

346

: 00:17:41

But why is it important for fathers

to take a leadership role in this?

347

: 00:17:46

And what does it look like?

348

: 00:17:47

Practically?

349

: 00:17:48

David: Practically speaking.

350

: 00:17:49

I would say.

351

: 00:17:50

Mom has a great role, greater role,

especially as the kids are little.

352

: 00:17:55

To get them going.

353

: 00:17:57

And then starting to do things

from a biblical perspective.

354

: 00:18:01

And all the work that they do,

it's just, I mean, I wouldn't even

355

: 00:18:04

want to try to say that I had

very much to do with that at all.

356

: 00:18:09

But I want to help.

357

: 00:18:10

but the thing.

358

: 00:18:11

that dads need to remember.

359

: 00:18:13

There's going to be a time.

360

: 00:18:15

When kids begin to get

towards their junior high.

361

: 00:18:19

Middle years.

362

: 00:18:21

They need to step it up.

363

: 00:18:23

They need to get involved

in their kids' lives.

364

: 00:18:26

More than they have.

365

: 00:18:29

Even prior to them.

366

: 00:18:30

we should always try to

be involved at whatever.

367

: 00:18:34

Level we can.

368

: 00:18:35

But especially when these kids get

to the sooner their peer pressure

369

: 00:18:39

and their hearts are growing, people

are telling them different things.

370

: 00:18:42

There's pressures on them to do

this or to go there or to be that.

371

: 00:18:46

And.

372

: 00:18:47

I think that's an ideal time.

373

: 00:18:50

And I did this with my own kids.

374

: 00:18:53

When they were in those years

and those middle school years.

375

: 00:18:56

I did.

376

: 00:18:57

I chose to do a Bible study with them

and it wasn't just a Bible study.

377

: 00:19:02

You fill out the blank and answer

the question and then we're done.

378

: 00:19:05

I would just use that as a platform

to dive deep into their lives and

379

: 00:19:10

ask them, why would you do that?

380

: 00:19:12

What is the best way?

381

: 00:19:13

What would honor the Lord?

382

: 00:19:15

How could you use this

to benefit somebody else?

383

: 00:19:18

And so you ask all these

questions and, and.

384

: 00:19:21

And you really pull out and you find

out what's on their heart and then you

385

: 00:19:26

try to, again, point them to Christ.

386

: 00:19:29

So that they can.

387

: 00:19:30

And so I just think that's a time when

dads need to step it up, but they need to

388

: 00:19:35

one-on-one eyeball to eyeball, not with

a bunch of other it's just me and you.

389

: 00:19:40

For whatever period of time.

390

: 00:19:42

Now I did a study with them

that initially started.

391

: 00:19:45

I went for 13 weeks and then I did a study

that did, that took two and a half years.

392

: 00:19:51

To go through.

393

: 00:19:52

And I did that with each and

every one of my, my kids now, my

394

: 00:19:55

grandkids, I've just done the.

395

: 00:19:57

The first 13.

396

: 00:19:58

This is something that

wasn't optional for them.

397

: 00:20:01

I mean when they went to school

or they went to do whatever they

398

: 00:20:04

were supposed to do, that wasn't

an option and neither was this.

399

: 00:20:08

They had to do it.

400

: 00:20:10

And.

401

: 00:20:10

I can remember one of my kids sitting

there with her arms like this.

402

: 00:20:13

And.

403

: 00:20:14

She would sit there with her arms crossed.

404

: 00:20:16

And we'd go through it and

we'd do what I needed to do.

405

: 00:20:19

And, but towards the end or as

we went further and further.

406

: 00:20:24

That.

407

: 00:20:25

Whole thing changed.

408

: 00:20:27

And again, that wasn't me.

409

: 00:20:29

It wasn't because I was

doing something right.

410

: 00:20:31

It was because the Lord

was working in her heart.

411

: 00:20:34

And constant exposure to God's word

and hopefully lovingly challenging.

412

: 00:20:40

Things.

413

: 00:20:41

Placed before her.

414

: 00:20:42

Helped her.

415

: 00:20:43

And again, I believe the holy

spirit used that to help her

416

: 00:20:47

become a godly kind of lady.

417

: 00:20:49

So that's encouraging

for many to hear that.

418

: 00:20:52

Stephanie: Even

419

: 00:20:53

Betsy: there might've been some

resistance, even following all

420

: 00:20:55

the things you've talked about

421

: 00:20:56

Stephanie: and having

a hunger for God's word

422

: 00:20:58

Betsy: and.

423

: 00:20:59

Stephanie: Really being.

424

: 00:21:00

Betsy: Being diligent from the time

they were young, but sometimes we do

425

: 00:21:03

see resistance in their hearts, and

it's not a reason to give up visit,

426

: 00:21:07

but we don't control their salvation.

427

: 00:21:11

And And you in their sanctification.

428

: 00:21:13

So we are constantly presenting the gospel

to them, the things of the Lord to them.

429

: 00:21:19

And we are so grateful and we praise

the Lord when that connection.

430

: 00:21:23

Comes through to them and they look,

they believe the things that they're

431

: 00:21:27

being taught and they embrace it fully.

432

: 00:21:29

That is so awesome, but we constantly

present those things to our children

433

: 00:21:33

before that time, when that takes root.

434

: 00:21:36

Yes.

435

: 00:21:37

There's always a special time.

436

: 00:21:40

And a child's life when.

437

: 00:21:43

They own their own faith.

438

: 00:21:45

They would still go to church.

439

: 00:21:47

They will still read their Bible.

440

: 00:21:49

They would still pray

and cry out to the Lord.

441

: 00:21:52

Even if I didn't.

442

: 00:21:54

Because.

443

: 00:21:55

Their faith is their home.

444

: 00:21:57

And that's the day that I

always prayed for my kids.

445

: 00:22:02

And each one of them was different.

446

: 00:22:04

Before.

447

: 00:22:05

I really sensed that.

448

: 00:22:07

That it wasn't my faith that

they were holding on to.

449

: 00:22:10

It was their own.

450

: 00:22:11

And I, that's the special

day that every parent.

451

: 00:22:15

Is praying for their kids.

452

: 00:22:17

Absolutely.

453

: 00:22:17

Stephanie: All right.

454

: 00:22:18

Uncle David, how should we be building

the foundation of our families?

455

: 00:22:23

David: Again, it starts with the gospel.

456

: 00:22:25

And one of the things that

I love about that's his job.

457

: 00:22:28

Curriculum the can trusted.

458

: 00:22:30

Is it starts with the gospel.

459

: 00:22:33

And the foundation of this is the

gospel message of Jesus Christ.

460

: 00:22:38

If they don't get that right.

461

: 00:22:40

You can't build on anything until

that foundation has been late.

462

: 00:22:45

And I, I.

463

: 00:22:47

I've shared this ever since

I was taught how to do it.

464

: 00:22:50

When I was in college at Western Michigan.

465

: 00:22:52

And, We were taught a little illustration

called the bridge illustration.

466

: 00:22:56

And it's a summary of the Bible

from Genesis to revelation.

467

: 00:23:00

And.

468

: 00:23:02

There's many ways of sharing the

gospel, but this is the best way or

469

: 00:23:06

the way that I personally love to use.

470

: 00:23:09

And like I said, there's a lot of other

ways that other people may do it, but.

471

: 00:23:13

It's rooted in the scriptures.

472

: 00:23:15

And there's literally

12 verses of scripture.

473

: 00:23:18

That I can give you a complete

summary of the Bible central message.

474

: 00:23:25

And it starts out in Genesis 1 27.

475

: 00:23:27

God created man in his own image, a zone

in which he created them, male and female.

476

: 00:23:32

He created them.

477

: 00:23:33

We were created to have

a relationship with God.

478

: 00:23:37

We were created differently than

any other part of God's creation.

479

: 00:23:42

And then the big problem occurs

shortly thereafter and Isaiah 59

480

: 00:23:46

2, which is a universal truth.

481

: 00:23:49

But your iniquities have caused the

separation between you and your God and

482

: 00:23:52

your sins have hidden his face from you.

483

: 00:23:54

So he no longer here.

484

: 00:23:56

So we're created to have a relationship,

but now we've got this huge sin problem.

485

: 00:24:00

And God won't, we'll

turn his face from us.

486

: 00:24:03

Because of our sin.

487

: 00:24:05

So then the Bible gets very specific

about what my major problem in life is.

488

: 00:24:10

Romans 3 23 for all, have sinned

and fall short of the glory of God.

489

: 00:24:15

Everybody's to center.

490

: 00:24:16

It's not just a few, not just some.

491

: 00:24:19

Every person that was born of

woman, except for Jesus Christ.

492

: 00:24:24

Has a sin problem.

493

: 00:24:25

And so what then does that sin

problem resulting in Romans 6 23?

494

: 00:24:29

It says for the wages of sin

is death and the gift of God is

495

: 00:24:32

eternal life through Jesus Christ.

496

: 00:24:35

What do I deserve because of my sin.

497

: 00:24:38

I deserve to die.

498

: 00:24:39

Sin will cause my death.

499

: 00:24:42

It will.

500

: 00:24:43

It's not, maybe it will.

501

: 00:24:45

And then the next question is what comes

after death and Hebrews 9 27 is this

502

: 00:24:50

is an appointed for man to die once.

503

: 00:24:53

And after this comes judgment.

504

: 00:24:55

That's a huge problem.

505

: 00:24:56

I'm first of all, center.

506

: 00:24:58

I'm going to die and then I'm going

to be condemned for everything for all

507

: 00:25:03

of eternity in a place called hell.

508

: 00:25:05

People and that's hard.

509

: 00:25:06

That's.

510

: 00:25:07

That might sound.

511

: 00:25:08

Oh, man, that's re that's

not going to win the.

512

: 00:25:11

sensitive seekers or

whatever you want to call it.

513

: 00:25:13

It, but it's the truth on

until someone embraces that.

514

: 00:25:18

As their true condition.

515

: 00:25:20

They don't need a savior in their eyes.

516

: 00:25:23

But when they know that they're

a sinner and that it's going to

517

: 00:25:26

result in these consequences.

518

: 00:25:28

Then they need to hear God's response

to that, which is in John 5 24, where

519

: 00:25:32

he says truly I say to you, he hears

my word and believes me has eternal

520

: 00:25:36

life and does not come into judgment,

but passes from death to life.

521

: 00:25:41

So right there, God comes right back.

522

: 00:25:43

And in the name of Jesus, he comes up.

523

: 00:25:45

If you've heard me.

524

: 00:25:46

And you believe in me.

525

: 00:25:47

You will have eternal life.

526

: 00:25:49

You won't be judged and you'll

simply pass from death to life.

527

: 00:25:53

So there you go.

528

: 00:25:54

So how do I get from my bad place to

what God responds or what he has for me?

529

: 00:26:01

Many people then will start

thinking I need to be religious.

530

: 00:26:04

And there's a lot of things that I do in

fact, do more good things and bad things.

531

: 00:26:08

I'll burn my way across

this chasm or this gap.

532

: 00:26:11

And I'll justify myself.

533

: 00:26:13

But then it says in the Bible in Ephesians

2, 8, 9, but it says by grace, you have

534

: 00:26:17

been saved through faith is a gift of God.

535

: 00:26:20

Not as a result of works,

lest anyone should boast.

536

: 00:26:24

By grace, what is grace?

537

: 00:26:26

Grace is undeserved favor, please.

538

: 00:26:28

Don't give me Lord.

539

: 00:26:30

What I deserve.

540

: 00:26:31

I deserve to die.

541

: 00:26:33

I deserve to be condemned.

542

: 00:26:34

But by your grace.

543

: 00:26:37

Through faith in who.

544

: 00:26:38

Faith in Jesus Christ.

545

: 00:26:40

The only ones.

546

: 00:26:42

Savior and Lord that

I can put my trust in.

547

: 00:26:45

That brings me to the next verse.

548

: 00:26:47

John 14 six, what Jesus said, I am the

way the truth and the life, no one comes

549

: 00:26:52

to the father, but through me, No one.

550

: 00:26:54

Either a bold face liar.

551

: 00:26:56

He's either a lunatic.

552

: 00:26:58

Or he's Jesus Christ.

553

: 00:27:00

The Lord whom he says he is.

554

: 00:27:02

And so w we must come to cry to the Lord.

555

: 00:27:06

Through Jesus Christ.

556

: 00:27:07

And then who is Jesus and what did he do?

557

: 00:27:09

It says in first Peter three 15.

558

: 00:27:11

Three 18, it says

559

: 00:27:13

for Christ died for sin once and

for all the, just for the unjust

560

: 00:27:17

in order that he might bring us to

God having been put to death in the

561

: 00:27:20

flesh, but made alive in the spirit.

562

: 00:27:22

So who is Jesus?

563

: 00:27:24

He's the just who's the unjust.

564

: 00:27:26

That's me again.

565

: 00:27:28

Christ went to the cross for me.

566

: 00:27:31

For you.

567

: 00:27:32

For anyone with this sin problem.

568

: 00:27:34

So that he might bring us to God,

bring us from here to over here.

569

: 00:27:39

And then because of the

resurrection, because of the shed

570

: 00:27:43

blood of Christ on the cross.

571

: 00:27:45

We are, we've been redeemed.

572

: 00:27:47

And we have hope of eternal

life because God is able, Jesus

573

: 00:27:52

Christ is able to forgive us

and bring us from death to life.

574

: 00:27:56

And then

575

: 00:27:57

romans 10, 10.

576

: 00:27:59

Basically it says he

confesses with his mouth.

577

: 00:28:02

And believes in his heart.

578

: 00:28:04

That Jesus Christ is Lord.

579

: 00:28:05

He shall be saved.

580

: 00:28:08

So I need to say God, I confess.

581

: 00:28:11

I'm saying God.

582

: 00:28:11

You're right.

583

: 00:28:13

This is your truth.

584

: 00:28:14

This is what I need to respond to.

585

: 00:28:16

And I believe, and when I say I believe.

586

: 00:28:19

I'm talking about more than

head knowledge, I'm saying.

587

: 00:28:23

I will act upon what I say is true.

588

: 00:28:25

I will repent and turn from sin.

589

: 00:28:28

In my life and I'll be working

on that for the rest of my life,

590

: 00:28:31

but I'll S I'll be about that.

591

: 00:28:34

And I want to live a life that honors you.

592

: 00:28:37

And so that is a picture of a

true repentance saved person.

593

: 00:28:42

And then.

594

: 00:28:43

The last two real quickly is

first John five, 11, and 12.

595

: 00:28:48

Where it says, this is a testimony

God has given us eternal life.

596

: 00:28:52

This life is in his son.

597

: 00:28:54

You has the son has life.

598

: 00:28:55

You just don't have the son

of God does not have life.

599

: 00:28:57

It's it makes it perfectly clear.

600

: 00:28:59

I always like to call this

a little bit of a crisis.

601

: 00:29:02

Because you're either perfectly

saved or you're perfectly lost.

602

: 00:29:06

There's nobody in the middle.

603

: 00:29:08

And what you have done.

604

: 00:29:11

How you have responded to Jesus Christ

determines your eternal destiny.

605

: 00:29:16

If you have Christ, you have life.

606

: 00:29:18

If you don't have Christ, you don't.

607

: 00:29:20

And then to sum it all up in

revelation three 20, it says behold,

608

: 00:29:24

I stand at the door and knock.

609

: 00:29:25

If anyone hears my voice

and opens the door.

610

: 00:29:28

I will come into him and dine

with him and he, with me.

611

: 00:29:31

And I love that verse because it, what I,

and I read it, I can just see a picture.

612

: 00:29:35

And I see a picture of me.

613

: 00:29:38

Or you or anyone else who's received?

614

: 00:29:40

Christ is sitting at a table.

615

: 00:29:42

Dining.

616

: 00:29:44

With the Lord Jesus Christ.

617

: 00:29:47

And that's a picture.

618

: 00:29:48

That's a picture of restored fellowship.

619

: 00:29:51

And what did God want us to have

all the way back in Genesis 1 27.

620

: 00:29:56

He created us to have a

relationship with him.

621

: 00:29:59

And Jesus Christ has just restored that.

622

: 00:30:03

So people can respond to that.

623

: 00:30:05

And three ways.

624

: 00:30:06

First thing they can do is ignore it.

625

: 00:30:08

That's maybe good for you.

626

: 00:30:09

Maybe some other time.

627

: 00:30:11

Or they can just outright reject that.

628

: 00:30:13

You're not telling me that Jesus is the

only way there's I got another plan.

629

: 00:30:16

Okay.

630

: 00:30:16

Let's see how your plan works out.

631

: 00:30:18

And then thirdly, they

can humble themselves.

632

: 00:30:22

And declare their need.

633

: 00:30:24

Of Jesus Christ to save

them from their sin.

634

: 00:30:27

And those will be the

ones who will receive him.

635

: 00:30:30

Have life.

636

: 00:30:31

That's the bridge illustration.

637

: 00:30:32

That's the gospel.

638

: 00:30:34

And.

639

: 00:30:35

That's the foundation upon which

we must build everything else.

640

: 00:30:41

But if you don't get that.

641

: 00:30:43

You're building your house on the sand.

642

: 00:30:45

And it's going to cave in.

643

: 00:30:46

At some point.

644

: 00:30:48

And I, that was a long

answer to your questions.

645

: 00:30:50

Stephanie: Yeah.

646

: 00:30:50

It's a fantastic.

647

: 00:30:52

It's the right answer.

648

: 00:30:52

I love it.

649

: 00:30:53

There's plenty of evidence that

you've shared that quite a bit.

650

: 00:30:57

That's amazing.

651

: 00:30:58

I can't.

652

: 00:30:59

If I'm around a person.

653

: 00:31:01

For any extended period of time.

654

: 00:31:03

I can

655

: 00:31:04

No.

656

: 00:31:04

Say something to them about Jesus.

657

: 00:31:07

Now, maybe they want to talk about it.

658

: 00:31:09

Maybe they don't, but you've got to

identify yourself as a follower of Christ.

659

: 00:31:13

And you don't have to Ram it

down someone's throat or be.

660

: 00:31:17

Overwhelming to them

or anything like that.

661

: 00:31:20

Just say something.

662

: 00:31:22

About Jesus to say something

about the Bible, say something

663

: 00:31:25

about the church you attend.

664

: 00:31:27

Maybe that will cause this person who

doesn't know Christ to ask you a question

665

: 00:31:31

and then you can go a little bit further.

666

: 00:31:34

But you have to be looking for

that opportunity all the time.

667

: 00:31:38

Because.

668

: 00:31:39

Bible says.

669

: 00:31:40

They're yet three months

and then comes to harvest.

670

: 00:31:44

Jesus says, behold, I say

to you, look at the fields.

671

: 00:31:47

They're ripe.

672

: 00:31:48

On the harvest.

673

: 00:31:49

Right now.

674

: 00:31:50

They're out there.

675

: 00:31:51

You just got to look for them.

676

: 00:31:52

And we need to be ready

to share the gospel.

677

: 00:31:55

And those are just 12 verses and some

people could do it with less than that.

678

: 00:32:00

The thing that I always loved

that is, when I was a kid, In

679

: 00:32:03

school, I wasn't the best student.

680

: 00:32:06

And teachers would often ask

us to give a book report.

681

: 00:32:10

And sometimes it was written

in, sometimes it was oral.

682

: 00:32:13

And when it was oral, I used

to get extremely nervous.

683

: 00:32:17

Because I'd have to stand up

and give a summary of the book.

684

: 00:32:22

That I had supposedly read.

685

: 00:32:23

And then that's the first best.

686

: 00:32:26

did you read the whole book?

687

: 00:32:28

Anyway.

688

: 00:32:28

But.

689

: 00:32:29

What I just went through.

690

: 00:32:31

Is, this is a book report.

691

: 00:32:33

And the Bible from Genesis to revelation.

692

: 00:32:36

And it's all about Jesus, the old

Testament points towards him, the

693

: 00:32:41

new Testament points back at him.

694

: 00:32:43

It's all about Christ.

695

: 00:32:45

You've been obedient

to be a Fisher of men.

696

: 00:32:47

And try to, yes.

697

: 00:32:49

Yeah.

698

: 00:32:49

And maybe at some point, we'll talk

about how the Lord has rerouted

699

: 00:32:52

both of your plans for your

lives and how you both embraced.

700

: 00:32:56

Calling of ministry

701

: 00:32:58

Is it ever too late to

parent that quickly?

702

: 00:33:01

Let's say there's someone hearing this

and their kids are in high school.

703

: 00:33:05

Maybe somewhere out of the house.

704

: 00:33:06

They've got one lap.

705

: 00:33:08

Is it ever too late to parent,

according to God's word.

706

: 00:33:11

No, it's not.

707

: 00:33:13

And I know that my kids are

technically not under my authority.

708

: 00:33:18

Past a certain point.

709

: 00:33:20

But I will never.

710

: 00:33:21

Never stop trying to influence them.

711

: 00:33:25

Now that changes.

712

: 00:33:26

When they're little, they will.

713

: 00:33:28

They have two.

714

: 00:33:29

When they're older.

715

: 00:33:31

I still want to influence them.

716

: 00:33:32

I still want to be living a life

myself that honors the Lord.

717

: 00:33:37

I still want to be saying, Hey,

did you ever think about this?

718

: 00:33:39

Or, maybe we should reconsider or wait.

719

: 00:33:41

What does God's word say?

720

: 00:33:44

About your situation right now?

721

: 00:33:45

How can we.

722

: 00:33:47

Seek the Lord.

723

: 00:33:48

How can we.

724

: 00:33:50

Respond to any given situation that

we're in a way that glorifies God.

725

: 00:33:54

So my answer to that question would be no.

726

: 00:33:57

Till the day I die.

727

: 00:33:59

I will be.

728

: 00:34:00

Telling my kids and my

family and my grandkids.

729

: 00:34:04

Cole this way.

730

: 00:34:06

Follow Jesus.

731

: 00:34:07

Just keep going.

732

: 00:34:09

Betsy: Yeah.

733

: 00:34:09

Our memory first for chapter

is from first Samuel: 1223

734

: 00:34:14

I first that speaks to that as

from first Samuel: 1223

735

: 00:34:18

moreover, as for me far, be it for me

that I should sin against the Lord.

736

: 00:34:22

By ceasing to pray for you, but I will

instruct you in the good and right way.

737

: 00:34:27

As David said, there is a time when

our authority wanes and we don't

738

: 00:34:31

have authority over our children

anymore when they grow up and they

739

: 00:34:34

marry and they move out of the house.

740

: 00:34:35

But we do have an influence over them.

741

: 00:34:38

And we do have a continuum in entrusted

where we show how that decreases and

742

: 00:34:44

goes through particular phrase phases.

743

: 00:34:47

And when they're little bitty,

they have a, we have a hundred

744

: 00:34:50

percent of authority over them.

745

: 00:34:52

And when they're growing, we really

have zero, but we do have influence.

746

: 00:34:56

We do have guidance.

747

: 00:34:57

We go through different phases of

coaching them and but all of that

748

: 00:35:01

to say, there is never a time when

you ever give up on your child.

749

: 00:35:05

So the.

750

: 00:35:06

The title of that chapter is also

never give up, which of course

751

: 00:35:11

is a quote taken sorta from

Winston Churchill and world war.

752

: 00:35:15

Never give up.

753

: 00:35:16

But we really believe that because

even though we are not responsible

754

: 00:35:20

for the salvation of our children,

we know that people come to salvation

755

: 00:35:25

at any particular time in life.

756

: 00:35:27

And so we never give up on praying even

for an adult, even for our parents.

757

: 00:35:32

If that be the case, we never ever

give up on praying for their salvation.

758

: 00:35:38

Does there come a time

when our parenting is done?

759

: 00:35:41

Yes, when they move out authority of

our parenting, but our guidance aren't

760

: 00:35:45

influenced those sorts of things.

761

: 00:35:47

No, they don't.

762

: 00:35:49

Stephanie: We know you're busy,

Mama, so we are truly grateful you

763

: 00:35:52

joined us for this episode of Again.

764

: 00:35:55

If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

765

: 00:35:58

foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

766

: 00:36:02

EntrustedMinistries.

767

: 00:36:04

com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

768

: 00:36:09

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

769

: 00:36:12

world, and we want it for you, too.

770

: 00:36:15

Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

771

: 00:36:18

from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

772

: 00:36:22

We're rooting for you.

773

: 00:36:25

To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

774

: 00:36:30

calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good and every work of faith by

775

: 00:36:35

His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

776

: 00:36:41

Him, according to the grace of our God.

777

: 00:36:44

And the Lord Jesus Christ.

778

: 00:36:47

Amen.

779

: 00:36:48

Until we meet again.