#55. Gentle Parenting, Grace-Based Parenting, and Discipline: Part 3 | Where Can We Look For Unchanging Truth?

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They're the joyful agains our children shout on the swings, the

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exhausting agains of cooking and laundry,

and the difficult agains of discipline.

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So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

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So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

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to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

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We believe God's Word is

the key to untangle from the

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confusion and overwhelm we feel.

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Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

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Hey mama.

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Welcome back to the again, podcast where

we wholeheartedly believe that the things

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you do over and over matter to God.

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I'm your host, Stephanie Hickox.

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And this is brought to you

by entrusted ministries.

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Today, we're beginning

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part three of this

gentle parenting series.

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Stephanie: You can't go far and

studying parenting these days with out

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coming across this prevalent theory.

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And if we believe that the things

you do over and over matter to God.

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Then there are some key topics in

parenting that we better make sure

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that we are on the same page about.

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And the only page we want to be

on are the pages of scripture.

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In this series, we'll discuss the

origins of the gentle parenting movement.

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We're also going to define our terms.

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We hear a lot about gray spaced.

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Fear-based.

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Gentleness.

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Discipline.

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What does it all mean?

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And what does God's word

really say about it?

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We're going to talk about why

some books written by believers

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on the topic of discipline are

actually not true to scripture.

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We're also going to clarify Entrusted's

position on grace and discipline.

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And make sure that you know

exactly where we stand.

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Let's get to that interview

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Betsy: talk a little bit about,

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sometimes in Christian

circles that might be

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we hear the fear-based or grace and it

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Fear-based think, oh, that's where that's

not we talking about the fear of God?

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should have the So we

define And around there that

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Another one is on the opposite

side of the spectrum, the

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opposite side of the spectrum,

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And, but grace

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that we discipline, but atmosphere

of And that God would parent us.

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that God

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causes and suffering in His own children.

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we are not we are, expect it.

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And so how do we respond But

there is a certain amount

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understanding that comes with

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that

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does

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discipline, for consequences.

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Just as in Entrusted we find are

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with ours.

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But

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see us

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But we're not.

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That would

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just build on that

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the starting

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Stephanie: and I think if you really

listen to a whole lesson, any of your

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lessons, I always walk away with.

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Wow.

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The Lord calls me to such a

tenderness for my children.

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And, to be such a model of his love

to them and you literally say that in

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that only 1 percent of our time can

be spent, being involved with this.

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And when we've trained our

children to stay in the circle,

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this is where blessings are.

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So little of your time really

has to go towards that.

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So it would be, I really feel that

wouldn't be reflective at all of entrusted

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if they took, That one percent of time.

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Betsy: I think that's the

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we said or why

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designed young

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12 year olds I

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friend whose relative wrote

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the book called

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I mean, so

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it goes to make sense that effective or,

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what, But in a young child,

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But let's go back to grace

parenting grace based

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as

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the terminology

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is used

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now, there isn't, I don't think there

would be anything where we would Have any

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parting of the ways in their thinking and

I would say the same along the lines of

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the teaching of Ted Tripp and why is that

because we're taking it from the bible.

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We're not inventing anything

new But we're basing it on the

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teaching of the scriptures,

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They may be reshaped from each

generation a little bit, but heaven

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forbid if we're actually creating

something new because it says we don't

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add to the Bible, we don't delete.

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We're probably just

renaming certain things or.

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Or that's how it should

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be.

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But certainly very gifted writers

can offer insight into what

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the teaching of the word is.

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And we're so grateful for them.

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Yeah.

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Thank you.

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hopefully.

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Yes,

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always checking.

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Now I'm

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just going to give an example,

a little bit to make this point.

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In the Bible, in John 6, 52 and 69,

Jesus was talking to some Jewish leaders.

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And this whole concept came up of Jesus

saying first of all, someone asked

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him, how can you get, how can you say

that you give this man flesh to eat

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when he was talking about his own self?

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So that really, Caught struck

a chord with them and they were

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saying to Jesus how can you say that

you'll give them your flesh to eat?

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And he said, Truly, truly I say to

you, unless you eat the flesh of

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the son of man and drink his blood,

you have no life in yourselves.

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He who eats my flesh and drinks

my blood has eternal life and I

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will raise him up on the last day.

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For my flesh is true food

and my blood is true drink.

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He who eats my flesh and drinks My blood

abides in me and I in him and as the

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living father sent me and I live Because

of the father so he who eats me shall also

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live because of me now the verse 58 so

So this is definitely very troublesome to

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them This is the bread that came down from

heaven not as the fathers who ate and died

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He

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who eats this bread will live forever.

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These things he said in the sin

synagogue as he taught in Capernaum.

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Therefore, many of the disciples when they

heard them, said, and this is the key,

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this

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is a difficult

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statement.

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Who can listen to it?

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But Jesus said, conscious that his

disciples were grumbling at this, said

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to them, does this cause you to stumble?

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What then, if you see the Son of Man

ascending to where he was before?

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It is the Spirit who gives

life, the flesh profits nothing.

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The words that I have spoken

to you are spirit and life.

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He's not saying you're

going to physically eat me.

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But

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there are some things who, there

are some of you who do not believe.

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For Jesus knew from the beginning

who they were and who did not believe

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and who it was that would betray him.

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And he was saying.

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For this reason I have said to you

that no one can come to me unless it's

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been granted to him from the Father.

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As a result of this, many people

pull away from him because

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this is a difficult saying.

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I'm pulling away from this

because I just can't accept what

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the Word is telling me here.

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So Jesus said to the twelve

do you want to go away also?

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And Simon Peter said to him, Lord,

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to

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whom will we go?

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You

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have the words of eternal life.

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We have

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believed and have come to know

that you are the Holy One of God.

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Teaching biblical

discipline is a hard saying.

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It's

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a difficult saying to many and they

fall away because they do not have

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true faith in the truth of God's Word.

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one more little thing here.

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There's a Marxist journalist that

lived from: 1949

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name was Hitchens, and so you've

probably heard of Hitchens Razor.

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It means what can be freely

asserted can be freely denied.

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What can be asserted without evidence can

be denied without evidence of its falsity.

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The burden of proof lies in

the one making the claim.

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Always know your sources.

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What that's saying is somebody

out there can make a claim, but if

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it's not backed up with evidence,

then you can freely dismiss it.

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But when you

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have the evidence behind

it, it cannot be dismissed.

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The burden of proof lies with

the one making the claim.

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So if somebody says, uh,

discipline is harmful to the child.

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The burden of proof lies

with them to prove that.

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And it's interesting to me because I've

been looking at some articles and research

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over the many years, probably 50 years,

and I see that the things change and then

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an article something will come out and

says it's not harmful to children at all.

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And somebody will say it decreases

their intelligence and back and forth

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on the regular cultural pendulum.

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So I think we're making this point

that it's dangerous to swing with the

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pendulum of society and not really anchor

yourself in the absolute truth of God's

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word.

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Maybe it's their rebellion to submit

to the authority of God's Word

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Which is more and more so the case

than ever before in history in our

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country, which is a sad statement

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Yeah, not to be picking and choosing.

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We don't get to pick and choose.

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And that all, that's the

same sort of saying or same

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sort of way of saying, adding

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and deleting.

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We don't, I had somebody say to

me one time I would love to take

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entrusted, but I don't want to.

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Can I just skip the classes on discipline?

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Well, Why?

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Why don't you want the whole counsel

of God weighing into, the teaching?

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I'm not making this up

and this isn't my opinion.

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I'm teaching what the Bible

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is saying.

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And

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you have to struggle with that.

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It says work out your own

salvation with fear and trembling.

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I think there needs to be a little

bit more fear and trembling before

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disobeying or rebelling against a holy

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God.

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Stephanie: I shared with you an example

of when I got married and my husband

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had some food allergies and allergies

to nuts, and I thought now I'm pregnant

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and I'm going to really research,

how do you prevent food allergies?

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And I read a lot about it and I

was so careful and I followed it to

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a T and it worked with my oldest.

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He doesn't have any food allergies

and it worked with my second.

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He doesn't have any.

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And then with my third, I did the

same thing, and all of a sudden, on

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his first birthday, he's reacting

to the birthday cake horribly.

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And so then we go in and we have him

tested, and he's allergic to 15 things.

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And, everything.

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And it's not just a minor allergy.

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These are anaphylactic, severe

allergies, and I'm doing all the things.

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And eventually I said to the

allergist I don't understand.

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I did everything I was told.

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And she said, the pendulum has swung.

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And just meaning that, oh we

used to say delay introduction.

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Now we're saying introduce it early.

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And in another time she said to

me, we just don't know that much.

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But I had felt like she was making me

feel bad for doing the wrong thing.

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And.

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It's just I share that

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Betsy: trying so hard to do the

right thing of what they told you.

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Stephanie: So I just share that as an

example of sometimes something seems so

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research based and We can't trust it.

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We've seen this over and over and

you shared the example of how

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do we even put a baby to sleep?

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It's gone back and forth We have

to trust in something much more

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transcendent than these cultural,

these studies or deceptions.

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Betsy: Anything that's arbitrary and

it flops back and forth every 50 years

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or so according to culture is Not is

transient and you really can't rely on it.

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It's temporal as the Bible says

so we want to put our You know our

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effort our whole hearts our love for

the Lord everything that's eternal

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everything that will be long lasting

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Stephanie: Yeah.

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So, I think that would

really be our encouragement.

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I loved watching Reading Rainbow when

I was growing up and LeVar Burton would

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always say, but you don't have to take

my word for it after he, recommended a

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book, we, we want to be a voice of wisdom

and we hope that you learn to trust us.

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As Ambezi said, she has so many years

of studying the scripture and this,

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this degree but at the end, we are all

going to be responsible before the Lord.

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Again, we want you to trust us.

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We hope that you find us trustworthy

and that your own study of scripture

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is confirmed by what you hear

here, but we would never want

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to be a replacement for that.

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You are entrusted by God to care for these

children and you need to parent in a way.

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that you feel confident about biblically,

but we would just encourage you to

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not find those answers in a book, but

to find them from the Word of God.

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We do

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have a resource on our website.

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If you would like to go to

the homepage, you can sign up.

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You can watch this entire lesson 10

that talks about the full circle.

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And the full circle is

really a beautiful picture of

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restorative biblical discipline.

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And it really reflects the gospel

and how the Lord disciplines us.

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So that resource is available.

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And it also talks about, as a

mother, things that we need to put

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off and put on, which speaks to the

gentleness so much that we spoke of,

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that we want to be representing as

mothers who are walking biblically.

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You can watch that hour long

lesson and see the notebook notes

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there and get that printable.

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If you're like, oh man, this, I can't

remember, really remember this process.

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How does this work?

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I'm going to print it out and I'm going

to put it in a spot where I love to

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have those heart talks with my kids.

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Betsy: I think the Proverbs

teaches that the opposite of

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discipline is really neglect.

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And that's what's happening

without parents realizing it.

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So they're neglecting to teach,

to train, to restrict, to

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To

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edify, to train their children in

a way that they can exist in the

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world without being just bowled over.

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Especially in a world that's

despising Christianity more and more.

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And they're gonna need to, gonna have

to be really solid on how they can

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stand for truth in a world like that.

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But

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so

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I think that's an important point.

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Stephanie: And Betsy, you talked about

and I forget the word out that you always

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have a theme as you're going through

scripture and what a great opportunity

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if people chose to read through the

Bible, and I'm just going to dig in

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even for a whole year, I'm going to

really look at how does the Lord parent

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us, how does he discipline his people?

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How does he discipline those who

haven't even submitted their lives to

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You could study so much about this.

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And if you are longing for peace on

this area, that would really bring

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a lot of clarity to find that you

just dug in for the year and got

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your answers right from scripture.

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Betsy: Yeah, and I really would

like to end on this verse.

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It's from Proverbs 36.

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It says, Do not add to his

words, or he will reprove you,

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and you will be found a liar.

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And from Ecclesiastes 3.

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14, it says, I know that everything

God does will remain forever.

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I know that everything God

does will remain forever.

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There is nothing to add to it.

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And there is nothing to take

away from it, for God has so

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worked that men should fear him.

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And going along the same lines

as not adding or taking away from

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the scriptures, Revelations 22, I

testify to everyone who hears the

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words, of the prophecy of this book.

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If anyone adds to them, God

will add to him the plagues,

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which are written in this book.

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And if anyone takes away from the

words of the book of this prophecy,

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God will take away his part from

the tree of life and from the holy

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city, which are written in this book.

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So we cannot change the truth

and we shouldn't attempt to it,

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but society and the church as

we said are succumbing to this.

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So don't allow syncretism to infiltrate

your thinking and the way that you

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parent and manage your children.

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Stephanie: We know you're busy,

Mama, so we are truly grateful you

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joined us for this episode of Again.

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If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

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foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

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EntrustedMinistries.

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com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

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This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

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world, and we want it for you, too.

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Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

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from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

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We're rooting for you.

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To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

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calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good and every work of faith by

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His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

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Him, according to the grace of our God.

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And the Lord Jesus Christ.

327

: 00:20:05

Amen.

328

: 00:20:06

Until we meet again.