#61. Hey Mama, We Need You! + What Do I Focus On In Our Homeschool?! Isn't It All Important?
Hey Mama, You've Got Great Taste, and We Want To Hear Your Thoughts! We are launching a focus group to guide us in our content creation and to give us direction on a HUGE project we have coming your way this year! It won't take more than an hour of your time, but we hope it would bless you immensely! If you're interested, email stephanie@ewach.com or fill out a contact form on our website.
In this episode, Jen and Stephanie talk about some of the hardest decisions homeschoolers make: what do you focus on and how do you decide what is most important? Also, does consistency matter and do I have to be a teacher to teach my child? What do I do when I can't teach what they need to learn or if they need more than I can give? Listen in to hear these questions discussed and more!
Scriptures Referenced:
James 1:5
Transcript
They're the joyful agains our children shout on the swings, the
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:exhausting agains of cooking and laundry,
and the difficult agains of discipline.
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:So much of what we do
as mothers is on repeat.
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:So what if we woke up with clarity,
knowing which agains we were called
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:to, and went to bed believing we
are faithful in what matters most?
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:We believe God's Word is
the key to untangle from the
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:confusion and overwhelm we feel.
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:Let's look up together to embrace a
motherhood full of freedom and joy.
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:Welcome back to the again, podcast
brought to you by entrusted ministries.
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:I'm Stephanie Hickox.
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:And before we get to today's episode,
I want to ask you for a favor.
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:If you're a faithful listener, or even
if you've just found us and you have
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:some great ideas about what we should be
bringing to the podcast, we would love
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:to have you be part of a focus group.
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:We also have one major project
coming your way in the new year.
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:And I'm looking for some wise
committed women to help steer
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:the ship and give us direction.
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:I really want to make sure that we bring
something that ministers to moms, right.
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:Where they're at.
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:So I'm looking for a handful of
ladies that would like to contribute.
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:It won't take more than an hour of your
time, but I hope that the influence
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:you have on the podcast and on our
decisions would be a blessing to you.
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:For the year to come.
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:If you're interested, you can
email me at Stephanie at Dot com.
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:That's S T E P H a N I E.
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:At E w a C h.com.
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:I'll put a link in the show notes and
I can't wait to hear your thoughts.
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:Today I'm joined by the
amazing Jen Frackman.
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:As we talk a little bit more about
homeschooling and Hawaii, it's
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:been such a blessing in our homes.
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:If you're homeschooling right now and
you need a little encouragement about
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:why it could be such a great experience
and what a day could look like.
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:We hope we remove a little
bit of that mystery and help
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:you focus on the end goals.
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:I also want to be so clear that
we believe that school choice
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:is a personal conviction.
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:Some have trumpeted their perspective
on this topic and made it sound
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:like it's a biblical conviction.
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:But in the spirit of Romans 14, we want
to honor other believers with our choices.
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:Although Jen and I feel very
strongly about the benefits
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:of homeschooling for us.
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:We know that it's not for everyone.
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:And we support how God has led you.
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:To educate your children.
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:We know it can feel lonely and at times
overwhelming to homeschool though.
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:So when we talk about it on the
podcast, our heart is to encourage
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:the moms that need a little pep talk.
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:To keep that finish line in mind and
to think about why they're doing this.
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:Jen: I get this question a lot, do you get
the question of, oh, were you a teacher?
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:Like how are you able to teach your
kids if you were not a teacher?
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:How do you address that?
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:Stephanie: I say actually
I've had to unlearn a lot.
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:Of what I was taught.
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:And I feel that the Lord has been my
best teacher and on our last episode
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:about homeschooling, I said, that
a mom is an expert on her child.
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:And every year that I got a new
batch of students, I had to learn
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:about them and it took a long time.
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:But now I go into every year, like
knowing who my kids are, knowing
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:what their strengths are, being
able to pray into Lord, I'm sensing
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:this is going to be friction.
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:How am I going to handle that?
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:It takes a teacher so much longer
to, to anticipate those things,
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:to learn about the student.
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:And by the time she really knows them,
they're moving up to the next teacher.
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:I think that there are a lot of
innate things about good teaching that
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:we've all experienced and we've all.
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:Had those moments of being engaged with
something we loved and like pedagogy
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:is actually like the methodology
of teaching and how you teach.
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:I think that we have more of that
innately in us and that we've
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:learned a lot of that in our lives.
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:I don't think I learned much of
that in my educational degree.
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:And I would say I totally agree with
you what you were saying about at the
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:beginning taking the time to let my
kids develop and you know if they're
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:not going to read right at five.
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:To just take a chill pill
and say, you know what?
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:Actually, I would love
for you to love reading.
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:And if it's going to
take a while, it's okay.
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:I'm going to just keep reading to
you and yes, we're going to have some
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:instruction, but I trust that eventually,
this is going to come naturally for you.
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:And I realize that obviously some
children do need a little bit
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:more intervention, but there is.
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:A lot of research that says by
about age 12, regardless of when
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:you learn to read, most kids are
going to be at the same level.
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:There will be outliers, but overall, even
if the kids that learn to read at three
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:are going to be at a middle school reading
level when they're 12, unless they've
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:really been pushed, and the kids who learn
to read at eight are going to be there.
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:I think we really have
to pray and be careful.
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:And if we sense that something's off.
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:And then of course, I think that
we should seek help we shouldn't
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:just ignore it or shrug it off.
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:But I just say that to encourage the
moms that you're not seeing a major
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:problem, it just seems like it's not quite
clicking as quickly as you would hope.
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:I've definitely seen that with some
of my kids in learning to read.
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:And then all of a sudden
it was just there.
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:And I see it in many subjects,
whether it's math facts or reading.
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:Or sometimes memorizing something.
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:Stephanie: I have felt such permission
to be patient with my kids and who
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:they are in this setting, whereas
if they would have, if some of
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:them, and we all have subjects
where we'd be labeled behind, right?
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:If they were in a different
setting, it would have been
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:like, oh, we might need to.
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:Meet with a specialist.
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:And are you doing this
every day with them?
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:And just so much pressure and
labeling and even some shame that I'm
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:really thankful that I just got to
delight in who they were becoming.
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:So
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:Jen: Yes,
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:Stephanie: that I would not
have had in a school setting.
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:And that's something I've had to
shrug off of my educational training.
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:Jen: Yeah.
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:Also, yeah, the comparison of, knowing
that someone next to you finished the
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:test before you did the comparison of, oh
they're in the smarter classes than I am.
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:All of that.
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:Also just really let's
speak to the fact that.
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:Nobody cares about your
kid like a mom, nobody.
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:And so if there is something that
is wrong, no one is going to find
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:an answer to figure out how to
help that kid more than a mom will,
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:because a mom knows that kid and
loves that kid more than anyone else.
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:And so the mom and the dad, obviously and.
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:Encompassing both of them, but
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:It always dawns on, or it always amazes
me when people are like, Oh, you're
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:not a teacher and you're teaching.
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:Yeah, but I love my kid
and I love learning.
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:So pair those things together and
you got a great thing going here.
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:Stephanie: Yes,
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:Jen: we get to learn together.
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:They often say that homeschooling
is you how do they say that?
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:Like it.
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:Something about you're fixing your
own education, but it's not fixing.
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:What
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:Stephanie: Redeeming.
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:Redeeming your own
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:Jen: Redeeming.
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:Thank you.
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:Yes.
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:They often say that, that.
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:Homeschool is redeeming
your own education.
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:And there are things that my kids
are learning that I'm learning
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:alongside that I'm like, no way.
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:I was never taught this.
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:Logic being one of them.
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:When my daughter went through logic,
I had never taken a logic course ever.
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:I'm like, all right, let's dive into it.
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:And I love it.
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:And it's one of my favorite things now,
but I didn't know that I knew how to
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:do that, but I taught myself ahead.
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:And then I taught her how to do it.
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:And we're much smarter than
we give ourselves credit for.
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:We can, and there's so
many different ways to.
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:Arm ourselves with great material
out there online, different friends.
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:You have the resources at your fingertips.
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:You can figure this out.
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:There is nothing that
you can't figure out.
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:And if you can't figure it out
for whatever reason, it's okay.
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:There are people that can
help you figure it out.
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:I know when I had the reading specialist
come, it was like, yeah, I could read
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:that whole, or I could go through the
Barton reading system, but that would
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:take me forever to figure that out.
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:You already mastered it.
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:I'm going to pay you to do that.
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:And I'm going to work alongside
on this other thing with my kids.
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:And so for us, that just worked great.
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:Yeah.
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:Stephanie: To learn so much
because we're reading about,
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:, history and it's so exciting.
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:I just wasn't given a good comprehensive
synchronizing of this was happening
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:over here while this was happening here.
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:And how did they connect?
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:And even what was happening in
church history with world history.
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:And I am so loving having that
continually unwrapped for me.
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:That's a great experience to be learning
it with my kids and for them too,
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:hopefully they're
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:Jen: I,
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:Stephanie: enjoying nerding out with me.
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:Jen, as you are planning your
homeschool year, how do you decide which
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:curriculum you're going to purchase?
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:Jen: That's great.
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:I often will, first, I never
buy anything brand new.
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:Because if I buy it brand new, I feel like
I have to be a slave to that curriculum
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:because I spent so much money on it.
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:So I always buy, use curriculum
so that I am in charge of it.
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:And if I don't like it, and if it's
not working for our kids, I do not feel
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:guilty not using it, and so that makes
it so much easier for me not to be a
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:slave to it, but for it to work for us.
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:Each year we go through, we assess where
the kids are at and how they best learn.
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:I also am not going to purchase
four different curriculums for
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:each kid because I can't learn
all the different curriculums.
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:Now, I will say that when I see a
kid struggling in an area, if there
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:is a one off curriculum that helps
in that specific area, I might
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:purchase that to help them along.
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:But If at all possible, I will maybe
just read that curriculum to myself,
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:rent it from the library, whatever
it is, and read it, get the knowledge
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:behind it, and then incorporate that
into the curriculum that I already have.
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:Because to have all these
separate ones going while you're
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:homeschooling for different levels
of ages is, it's really quite hard.
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:So each year we do assess that.
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:What are we going to need?
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:What do we already have?
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:What worked?
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:What didn't work?
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:And we fill it in with a
ton of really good books.
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:And then we go from there.
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:But I do every single homeschool
year, I stop and I pray and I
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:plan out before I do anything.
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:I just ask the Lord we trust you.
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:You are leading this homeschool year.
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:You know what is ahead of us this year.
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:You know what we can handle,
what our capacity is and you
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:know what you want us to learn.
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:And so I submit to that and I humbly
ask for you to lead me and guide me
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:well and to help me not to feel a slave
to what this, this plan that I have.
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:Like I will plan my ways, but
you need to establish this.
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:And so I submit to whatever
it is that you have for us.
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:And Really just giving that
over to the Lord has helped
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:me so much to have more peace.
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:If we didn't get it all done
I trust the Lord in that.
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:He's, he knows and he'll figure it
out and he'll make a way for us.
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:There's no education
that doesn't have gaps.
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:And so I know that I can't possibly teach
them everything, but I am giving them
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:tools to be able to love learning and to
know how to find good information, where
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:to find good information, and how to
process that information and what to do
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:with that information, that's the biggest
parts that we want them to be able to do.
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:So that eventually.
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:As they become lifelong learners,
the rest of their life, they can
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:always be growing and learning.
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:And if they didn't get the math
level that they wanted in my school
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:with them, By all means, go take
a class at a community college and
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:get that when you're 20 years old.
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:It doesn't matter.
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:You can do it then.
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:Your brain has developed even more.
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:You can take in so much more.
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:You can remember more.
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:And you're, you have so much of a
broader, vast knowledge of things
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:anyway to comprehend things.
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:So maybe waiting until that time to, to
dive deeper into that harder course in
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:math is the best thing for you anyway,
as opposed to shoving it down your
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:throat when you're seven years old.
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:Stephanie: I so agree with you
about not purchasing four different
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:types of curriculum or, for history.
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:It's like we have always done history
together and it's such a sweet time or
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:we do science together and I think this
was inspired by someone else but in a
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:book I read, I can't quite remember,
but I think I just adapted on it.
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:But if you picture your family and
you're like jumping through a chain
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:of islands, and you're trying to get
them, along this path of islands, and
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:you have a youngest one who's over here
and an oldest one and a couple middle
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:ones, and you're trying to get your
family moved, you could let the oldest
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:child keep moving along and go at their
level, And you could let the youngest
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:one kind of stay where they're at.
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:But if you actually can grab hands and
move through in a way that works for
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:all of you, maybe there's going to be
things that are a little bit simple for
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:the oldest ones or a little bit that
are stretching for the youngest one.
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:But maybe then you take another
subject and you're Reach the oldest
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:one a little bit more and just see
what that youngest one picks up.
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:And sometimes you're surprised by it.
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:And sometimes you think, no, that's okay.
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:They'll come back to it.
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:But just trying to keep your
family together as you're going
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:through some of the subjects
just helps maintain the sanity.
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:And so I like that to
think of that picture.
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:I agree with you.
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:I pray so much through purchasing
curriculum and I have a cabinet
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:that all of it has to go in.
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:And if it's not going to fit in there,
I can't purchase it because I know that
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:it's like a boundary and a capacity that
I have a desire to do so many things
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:well, but I can only do so many things.
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:And so I think the Lord kind
of gives me subjects of this is
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:going to be a big priority for us.
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:And obviously I want a great
solid plan of working through
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:theology or scripture that year.
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:But this year I was researching
spelling curriculum and I realized
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:I was getting stressed out.
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:I really realized I was battling.
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:The idea that I might pick the wrong
one and I might mess up my kids.
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:Like they might not be good spellers
because of the choice I make.
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:And I know I've had friends say
to me before, and even people
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:I respect of, you're not strong
enough to screw up your kids.
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:And I was really praying
through that idea.
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:Do I believe that biblically?
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:Is that a biblical idea?
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:And I think I see evidence of a
lot of drama in a lot of kids.
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:So I don't, I think that we can actually
make really detrimental choices to
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:our children, but I don't think we
can mess up God's plans for them.
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:Like his plans cannot be thwarted.
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:And I feel like Joseph is such a good
example of that, but The scripture
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:that the Lord brought me to is in
Matthew 6, 33, when it says, Seek
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:first his kingdom and all these
things will be added on to you.
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:And I feel like if I ever take my eyes
off of the eternal goals or seeking
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:his kingdom, then It's possible that
I'm going to make wrong choices.
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:And obviously we will make wrong
choices anyway, but I just felt like
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:that's what he was challenging me with.
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:Keep your eyes on me first and
foremost, seek me first, and all
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:these things will be added on to you.
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:I will make it clear to you.
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:But if you for a second, take your
eyes off me and start focusing so
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:much on the curriculum decision or.
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:Any part of the logistics of
this, you might go off track.
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:And and we talked about James 1, 5
earlier in that promise of wisdom.
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:And I just really appreciate that God
is going to faithfully guide us, but
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:I have to start it by seeking him.
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:That whole process just begins by God,
what do you want to accomplish here?
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:And how can I be faithful to what
you want to do in my children and
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:in the homeschool that we have?
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:Jen: that meeting that I have with
the Lord, and then I have another
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:one with Eric right before the school
year starts, and the two of us just
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:go through and say, okay, what do
we feel like the Lord is saying?
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:Laying on our hearts for this child
to grow in these years, in this
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:year, what areas are they weak
in that need to be strengthened?
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:What areas are they strong in
that we need to press further?
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:Because they're doing really
well and they're growing here.
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:So how can we press them in and push
them a little bit further in that?
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:And what areas are like, You know what?
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:This isn't as big of a deal.
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:If this goes into the back seat
for a while, that's okay because
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:whatever is more important.
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:And so we try to go through and have
our top five list and we order them.
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:And so for each kid, I just
write it on a piece of paper.
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:They each get a section of the
paper and I have Olivia's top
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:five and Josiah's top five.
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:And then from that, we.
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:Give a number if we have eight subjects,
I'm ordering them in letters or in number
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:of importance for this year for you.
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:That way, if we get overwhelmed,
if we have too much going on,
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:if something is happening and we
are like, okay, we can only get.
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:These things done this week.
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:What's the most important?
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:These three things go do those first.
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:If we get that done, we
still have more time.
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:Awesome.
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:Go on to number four,
go on to number five.
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:But if you only get those top
three done this week, that's okay.
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:That's the most important anyway.
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:That's what we wanting.
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:We're wanting to make sure we
get into you and that has helped.
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:So much, especially when
they're in high school because
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:everything feels so important and
everything builds on each other.
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:And so if you don't do this, then
how am I going to move on to this
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:and how am I going to do this?
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:And so if you can understand, you
know what, you can't do it all
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:and you can't do it all perfectly.
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:And what we're going to do is we're
going to take this portion, our
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:daily bread from the Lord, and we're
going to do well on our daily bread.
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:And this is our portion for this day.
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:And then to rest in peace with that
and know they have the rest of their
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:life and they can learn some of these
other things that didn't happen.
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:And just to have peace about that,
that has been super helpful for us.
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:That's fantastic.
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:I so appreciate how intentional
you are and how intentional you
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:are together and how that actually
helps dictate every step of the way.
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:That's amazing.
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:Stephanie: I've mentioned this before
on the podcast, but it just resonates
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:so much with homeschool for me.
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:In the book, Atomic Habits, he talks about
an experience he had talking to an Olympic
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:coach, and he asked the Olympic coach,
what sets apart the Olympic athletes?
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:This coach said, everybody wants to
think it's this amazing talent or they
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:just have this passion, but actually
what it is, is the diligence to do
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:the boring thing day in and day out.
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:Like even when it gets boring that you
just don't give up, you keep doing it.
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:And when I think about homeschool, as
much as I want to bring joy and delight
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:in the love of learning, there have
to be Some of these common priorities
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:that no matter how boring it feels that
we Commit to being people that read
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:because God is a communicator and he
wrote a book and that's always something
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:that I want to be part of their lives.
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:And because we value God's word and
the written word, we commit to reading
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:or because God is a God of order.
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:We commit to being people who seek
out, math sense and memorizing our math
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:facts and We're going to invest in these
common things and even when it feels
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:boring, I think continuing to build
little by little by little, it will grow.
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:And that's a thing I think as moms
of like children in the middle
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:stages, we can see it, right?
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:We can see the things that we've invested
that we've built little by little.
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:And some of that you're like, Oh, thank
you, Lord, that you gave me that wisdom.
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:And some of it I'm like, Okay, like
that was a thing that I wanted to build
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:a little bit more and I can see that
more faithfulness is needed there.
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:In homeschool, it is, it's definitely
a goal that I think that we just need
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:to be faithful in the little things but
really know what our priorities are.
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:Jen: We definitely talk with our
kids about how we grow their grit.
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:We want them to have grit.
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:We want them to love the toil.
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:You are going to have toil
for the rest of your life.
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:There's just things that need
to get done that are not fun.
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:They're not enjoyable.
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:You don't see the outcome.
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:You don't see a benefit for it.
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:It's called toil for a reason.
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:But we have to work it.
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:You have to work the toil and
you have to learn and teach
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:yourself how to love the toil.
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:When you can learn how to love the toil,
that is what develops the grit and gives
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:you all of the character qualities that
helps you to keep going and to keep doing
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:it and to do your best, even in the midst
of the hard, boring, mundane, all of that.
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:Because there is toil and
that's just a part of life.
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:And, Building that muscle while you're
young and learning how to do that while
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:you're in middle school and junior
high and high school, that makes such a
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:difference for who you become as an adult.
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:Stephanie: Yes.
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:And it's so satisfying to persevere.
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:And I there are subjects right now,
is this worth us persevering in?
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:But I often feel like if we can
do this, we could do anything.
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:If we could, if, you could
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:Jen: can decline this noun.
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:Stephanie: Like you, you can really
teach yourself anything if you can
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:persevere through some of these
subjects and yeah, work out that muscle.
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:It's.
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:It's very important because it is
working their character just as much.
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:So we could talk forever about
homeschooling, and we will talk more,
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:I think, even if you don't homeschool.
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:Hopefully that there has been great wisdom
for you here about even freedom for if
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:your teacher Child's teacher assigns a
lot of homework and how do you prioritize
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:having peace in the home when they're
coming home with full backpacks or how do
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:you make reading a priority in the home?
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:We are so grateful that you keep
coming back and we hope that
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:you're sharing the word about us.
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:We know you're busy, Mama, so
we are truly grateful you joined
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:us for this episode of Again.
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:If you're looking for more information
about building your home on the
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:foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.
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:EntrustedMinistries.
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:com to learn more about our study for
moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.
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:This scripture saturated study
has blessed families around the
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:world, and we want it for you, too.
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:Before you go, I want to pray
this benediction over you
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:from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.
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:We're rooting for you.
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:To this end, we always pray for you,
that our God may make you worthy of His
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:calling, and may fulfill every resolve
for good and every work of faith by
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:His power, so that the name of our Lord
Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in
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:Him, according to the grace of our God.
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:And the Lord Jesus Christ.
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:Amen.
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:Until we meet again.