#60. A Refresher on The Importance of Biblical Convictions and Personal Convictions + Addressing Common Objections of Homeschooling... And Why It's So Worth It For Some Families
Please consider contributing to Entrusted Ministries with a monthly gift! Every dollar is a blessing and helps us continue this podcast! Find out more on our Donate page.
In this episode, Jen and Steph highlight the benefits they have seen of homeschooing they have seen while addressing common objections people raise to this method of education. Christian moms looking for hope to stay the course or curious on what homeschooing could look like will benefit from this episode.
Jen and Steph also acknowledge that school choice is a personal conviction and the importance of following our consciences on the topic. Steph goes through a summary of the difference between personal and biblical convictions at the top of the episode.
Consider listening to Natasha Craine's breakdown of the main educational options.
Scripture Referenced:
Romans 14
Transcript
They're the joyful agains our children shout on the swings, the
2
:exhausting agains of cooking and laundry,
and the difficult agains of discipline.
3
:So much of what we do
as mothers is on repeat.
4
:So what if we woke up with clarity,
knowing which agains we were called
5
:to, and went to bed believing we
are faithful in what matters most?
6
:We believe God's Word is
the key to untangle from the
7
:confusion and overwhelm we feel.
8
:Let's look up together to embrace a
motherhood full of freedom and joy.
9
:Welcome back to the again, podcast
brought to you by entrusted ministries.
10
:I'm Stephanie Hickox and today I'm
joined by the amazing Jen Frackman.
11
:As we talk a little bit more about
homeschooling and Hawaii, it's
12
:been such a blessing in our homes.
13
:If you're homeschooling right now and
you need a little encouragement about
14
:why it could be such a great experience
and what a day could look like.
15
:We hope we remove a little
bit of that mystery and help
16
:you focus on the end goals.
17
:We find that many mothers in
our generation grew up in public
18
:schools or private schools.
19
:We all know what that looks
like and what a day could be.
20
:But homeschooling can be a
little bit mysterious, as I said.
21
:So we want to talk about the beauty of it.
22
:Of course, there are challenges to be
dealt with as there are in any school
23
:system or in any school environment.
24
:I want to recommend a podcast episode by
Natasha Crain about schooling choices.
25
:It was an extremely well thought through
discussion on the benefits and negatives
26
:of a variety of schooling choices.
27
:She stays very neutral and
brings some really unexpected
28
:thoughts to her topic discussion.
29
:I also want to be so clear that
we believe that school choice
30
:is a personal conviction.
31
:Some Bible teachers have trumpeted their
perspective on this topic and made it
32
:sound like it's a biblical conviction.
33
:But in the spirit of Romans 14, we want
to honor other believers with our choices.
34
:Although Jen and I feel very
strongly about the benefits
35
:of homeschooling for us.
36
:We know that it's not for everyone.
37
:And we support how God has led you.
38
:To educate your children.
39
:We know it can feel lonely and at times
overwhelming to homeschool though.
40
:So when we talk about it on the
podcast, our heart is to encourage
41
:the moms that need a little pep talk.
42
:To keep that finish line in mind and
to think about why they're doing this.
43
:Perhaps when I said that you thought,
what is a personal conviction?
44
:I think that this is one of the
most helpful topics in all of
45
:the interested with the child's
heart parenting curriculum.
46
:Betsy very clearly discusses
what a personal conviction is,
47
:what a biblical conviction is.
48
:And then what personal preferences are.
49
:So I just wanted to give a quick
description of those right now.
50
:Because it doesn't just
relate to school choice.
51
:It constantly comes up in our lives.
52
:Biblical convictions deal with
clear biblical instructions and
53
:commands, essential doctrines and
developing Christ-like character.
54
:Biblical convictions, unite believers
of all cultures and all times.
55
:If you were to look at scripture, the
commands that existed for the early
56
:church still exists for us today.
57
:Biblical convictions are
thus sayeth the Lord.
58
:But personal convictions are different.
59
:And they're created as
we read the word of God.
60
:And he moves in our hearts.
61
:And we develop our own personal
convictions based on what we read and
62
:our desire to grow in personal holiness.
63
:As a parent.
64
:So many personal convictions will
come up and you are allowed to
65
:develop what you want your family
to look like and to be known for.
66
:Your children may notice that another
family is doing something different
67
:and you get to say, that's okay.
68
:This is how our family does it.
69
:And you can explain why.
70
:The word of God has led you
to that personal conviction
71
:or that biblical conviction.
72
:Personal conviction.
73
:Say thus, say it.
74
:The mom and dad are thus
say me as a believer.
75
:This might become evident through a
family plan or a family mission statement.
76
:And then from those personal convictions,
you often develop personal preferences.
77
:Perhaps you don't mind if your son grows
out his hair to be long, but to another
78
:mother that might sound horrifying.
79
:Perhaps your creative, but obedient
spirited daughter tells you she wants
80
:pink hair and you get to make the call.
81
:These are personal preferences and
they extend way beyond hairstyles.
82
:God calls us to be steadfast in
regard to biblical convictions.
83
:There's not room for compromise here.
84
:And we should be understanding in
regard to personal convictions.
85
:And we should be flexible in
regard to personal preferences.
86
:Our biblical convictions
should never change, but our
87
:personal convictions can change.
88
:As we grow closer to Christ.
89
:Or as we gain new information
and our personal preferences
90
:can certainly change as well.
91
:I encourage you to read
through Romans 14 for yourself.
92
:But I'm just going to repeat these
six key principles of personal
93
:convictions from entrusted with
a child's heart lesson three.
94
:Number one disputable issues
do exist among believers.
95
:They are gray areas about
which we may think differently.
96
:Both groups are accepted by the
Lord and he is savored to both.
97
:These things should not divide us.
98
:Number two, it is important to have
personal convictions, even though they
99
:may differ from those of other believers.
100
:We have to form our own
convictions by what we believe
101
:is most pleasing to the Lord.
102
:Number three, our personal convictions
must never violate our contents is.
103
:If it violates your conscience, it
is sin and you should not do it.
104
:Even if another believer
is giving you pressure.
105
:Number four don't pass judgment on the
personal convictions of another believer.
106
:We should be loving and
accepting of other believers.
107
:Of course, if it's a biblical
conviction, scripture commands us
108
:to handle all of these differently.
109
:Number five, don't allow your
personal convictions to cause
110
:discord among other believers.
111
:We demonstrate that we are truly
children of God when we love each other.
112
:Why would we allow something that might
not go against our conscience to be a
113
:stumbling block, to another believer?
114
:Number six biblical convictions take
precedence over personal convictions.
115
:Christ is always central.
116
:If you're thinking, okay, I
need to study that topic more.
117
:We would recommend taking entrusted
with the child's heart as this
118
:theme is woven throughout.
119
:And maybe even if you've
taken a trusted before.
120
:You're thinking, oh, I need to revisit
that because the personal convictions
121
:I had when my children were toddlers.
122
:I need to figure out how to apply
those now that they're teenagers.
123
:Remember and trusted is for every
age and every stage of motherhood.
124
:I recently got to go to a
conference and talk about entrusted.
125
:And I had a heartbreaking conversation
with a pastor that explained to me a
126
:situation of mothers in his church,
pressuring a mother to make a decision.
127
:That violated her conscience.
128
:It was clear to me.
129
:That this.
130
:Exact issue of personal convictions.
131
:was the heart of the dissension.
132
:it wasn't a biblical conviction.
133
:These moms were trumpeting.
134
:It was a personal conviction and
there were devastating consequences.
135
:Whether it's encouraging
other mothers in our lives.
136
:Or discussions on social media.
137
:The Lord has not called us to stir up.
138
:Dissensions.
139
:So again, I want to say those three
summarizing statements let's be steadfast
140
:in regard to our biblical convictions.
141
:Be understanding in regard
to personal convictions.
142
:And be flexible in regard
to personal preferences.
143
:And if you'd like to learn more about
homeschooling, keep listening, mama.
144
:We talked one episode about
convincing you, you can do it.
145
:We want to reiterate some of our favorite
things we've done and that we feel really
146
:confident about, or maybe if we could go
back, how we would adjust things with what
147
:the Lord has taught us since we began.
148
:And be a little bit more practical.
149
:If you are homeschooling right now, these
are the things we think that you should
150
:focus on, and maybe if you decided not
to homeschool this year but it's looking
151
:like something in your future, or you
would just love to know more if you
152
:ever go down that path, we want to just
equip you with some more practical tips.
153
:Answers.
154
:Jen, as you look back at your
homeschooling career right
155
:now, what are some key lessons
that the Lord has taught you?
156
:Jen: I would say when the kids
were little, he taught me.
157
:To just take it slow, to let them be
little, to let them enjoy the things
158
:at their pace, and to not rush them
along, not rush them along in reading,
159
:not rush them along in math time,
to take the time that they needed.
160
:And when they were little, instead
of being like, okay, we're going to
161
:memorize all of the parts of a flower,
and we're going to memorize all the
162
:that there are out there, to instead
go and Take a walk together and be
163
:like look at these beautiful flowers.
164
:Isn't God so good?
165
:Look how creative he is.
166
:How many flowers do you
even see here in this field?
167
:Isn't this absolutely amazing?
168
:And then to have that spark the
interest in them, that they want
169
:to go home and look up, what
was this flower that we pulled?
170
:And what parts art in this flower and
for them to desire that and to take that
171
:desire and then dive deeper into it.
172
:That I think was something
that was super beautiful to do,
173
:especially when they were younger.
174
:And we had the time to do that, to take
the walks and to be slower and to not
175
:have as much packed in as what they do
now in high school and middle school.
176
:I also think I have
often lived by the quote.
177
:To cut back until there's
peace in your home.
178
:And so yes we live and we are always
trying to give God glory in that
179
:we don't have to accomplish it all.
180
:And we are not expected
to accomplish it all.
181
:We put forth with the
best effort that we can.
182
:We do what we can as unto the Lord
and we leave the rest at his feet.
183
:And if we are.
184
:Stressed and rushed and overwhelmed.
185
:No one's learning in
that environment anyway.
186
:And so what can we cut back so that
it's more peaceful, but yet still having
187
:excellence and striving toward not
perfection, but what is excellent for you?
188
:What is that we can do so
that you are not overloaded?
189
:, but the standard is high.
190
:I still expect a lot of you, but
I'm not going to make you feel
191
:completely exhausted and burned out.
192
:Stephanie: Yeah, so much wisdom in that.
193
:We want them to delight in it and
we want them to look back and see
194
:it as a positive experience, right?
195
:It's this balance of setting them up
for success in the future while still
196
:delighting in every day with them.
197
:Jen: Yeah.
198
:Stephanie: find, I feel like the Lord
just helped me even put words to that
199
:today we are always looking to the
future and trying to prepare well.
200
:And we're trying to build upon a strong
foundation, both, obviously spiritually
201
:first, but then also academically and, We
want to, be wise with the time that the
202
:Lord's given us, teach us to number our
days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
203
:And when we really look back at how
much time we had, did we build it?
204
:Taking the time to delight in him, to
delight in each other, and that has
205
:been such a treasure when I look at, of
course my kids fight with each other But
206
:the bonds that they have are so sweet
and I can remember so my oldest was in
207
:kindergarten when we had our fourth.
208
:And to have these three little
brothers looking down at their little
209
:sister, and they just adore her.
210
:Now, she just turned 7 this week and
they all bought her a present and
211
:they were so excited to give it to her
and nobody wants to do homeschool on
212
:her birthday because they just want
to enjoy her and it was so sweet.
213
:To see how that has, obviously that can
continue when you're separated all day.
214
:And I think maybe in some situations
it's helpful to have the situation or the
215
:separation, but I can see how like that
investment of time and all of these shared
216
:experiences has built up that tenderness.
217
:And I'm thankful.
218
:I just felt like that was something
I got to see this week of oh, those
219
:three brothers that used to just watch
you sleep and love you, that there's
220
:still these three doting brothers
that are for you and to learn together
221
:and Making all of these connections
together as a family, whether it is
222
:reading a great book together, whether
it's learning connections in history,
223
:it's such a blessing of an experience.
224
:Jen: I agree.
225
:I tell my kids all the time, you
guys are best buddies and you are
226
:creating memories that only the four
of you will ever remember again.
227
:You won't be able to go to anybody else
and be like, remember when this happened?
228
:Or remember when we read this story?
229
:Or remember this?
230
:But with all four of you,
You get to all experience and
231
:remember these memories together.
232
:And if you were at school all day,
it would be like one or two kids
233
:remembering portions of it, or mom
and that one kid remembering portions.
234
:But to be able to all of us remember,
sometimes I feel bad for Eric because
235
:I'm like, man, you don't get to be
here to experience some of this.
236
:And we get to all have.
237
:These memories together, and
I am so grateful for that.
238
:I was just talking to a friend the other
day who was interested in homeschool,
239
:but didn't feel like she could do it.
240
:And it was like, I just, I, I get
overwhelmed and I just feel like I'm
241
:going to be so overwhelmed with the kids.
242
:And I was like, you will be overwhelmed.
243
:Like
244
:There are going to be days where you are
overwhelmed, but I guarantee there's days
245
:that you're overwhelmed as a public school
mom as well, or as a Christian school mom.
246
:There's just days that are like that.
247
:But overarching, the whole
idea behind it is you will be
248
:overwhelmed with gratefulness for
the hours you have with your child.
249
:I read a quote the other day that said
:
250
:homeschool a child for one academic year.
251
:So if you homeschool, even from seventh
grade until 12th grade, you get 6, 000
252
:That is a return on investment.
253
:6, 000 more hours.
254
:You have so much more time to
spend pouring into them, seeing
255
:where their heart is at and
what sin issue is coming out.
256
:People say that all the time
to me oh, do you homeschool to
257
:keep your kids out of the public
schools and what's going on there?
258
:I was like, no.
259
:Actually, no, because guess what?
260
:We have so much sin within these walls.
261
:We're hitting all aspects of the sin.
262
:But I homeschool so that when those sin
issues come up, we have the time to stop
263
:and to address it and to be able to turn
our hearts and our affections back to
264
:the Lord and to fix those relationships.
265
:We had something this week
come up that we stopped.
266
:I was like, we are not moving on.
267
:In any subject until you two
sit down and figure out what's
268
:going on between you guys.
269
:And they had to sit
down and figure it out.
270
:And they took a while to do it.
271
:They took, there was lots of hurt
feelings and things that were coming
272
:up that I was like, man, you've
been holding onto this for a while.
273
:And tears were coming out, but I was
so grateful that in the middle of the
274
:day, we could take the time to do this.
275
:We could address these
things in their heart.
276
:And so just having those hours.
277
:Is it is overwhelming to me.
278
:It overwhelms my heart with joy
and thankfulness to the Lord.
279
:Thank you that I get all of
this extra time with my kids.
280
:It is going so fast.
281
:Olivia is 15 years old, almost 16.
282
:And I cannot tell you
how fast this has gone.
283
:And I have been with her
99 percent of her life,
284
:Stephanie: yeah,
285
:Jen: as much as I possibly could.
286
:And it still is going fast.
287
:I cannot imagine how fast it would
go if I was, if she was gone all day.
288
:And I'm just so grateful for that.
289
:And I'd rather be overwhelmed with joy and
gratefulness for the time and occasionally
290
:be overwhelmed with how much is going on
and all the burdens that come with it.
291
:Stephanie: yes.
292
:Earlier we talked about taking
that 20 year view, and in the day
293
:to day, it can feel like this was
not in the plan, like these two
294
:having it out was not in my plan.
295
:But if I think about in 20 years, this
is going to matter, that they worked it
296
:out, that they have a great relationship.
297
:But this algebra lesson, this
logic lesson, this geography,
298
:whatever is not going to matter.
299
:But their relationship will and
to keep that at the forefront.
300
:And I laugh too, when people say, cause
I was on a panel recently talking about
301
:different schooling options and the
people that were advocating for public
302
:school said I just think, I don't
want my children finding out about
303
:things when they go off to college.
304
:I want them.
305
:To be able to help explain
it when they're with me.
306
:And I was like, I'm in shock.
307
:You can't turn on Wheel of
Fortune without, like a man
308
:saying my husband's here with me.
309
:And it's rampant, this day and age, you
can't really shelter them, but I think
310
:as a homeschooling mom, you actually get
to walk with them through all of those
311
:things instead of not knowing exactly
what they encountered in their school day.
312
:Sorry I'm not, we do believe this is a
personal conviction, so I'm not trying
313
:to get too fired up about it and make
it seem like this is the only way.
314
:I'm like, oh, I just went too far.
315
:But I just felt like that's not that isn't
a valid argument that we're not sheltering
316
:because it, I think it's very hard.
317
:You have to go off the grid
to shelter at this point.
318
:Jen: Yes.
319
:Stephanie: and then I think that
there's also really What seems
320
:like an incredibly valid argument.
321
:And in some circumstances, I'm sure it
is, but that you want your children to be
322
:a light and you want them to evangelize.
323
:But I actually, as I've processed
this and I have watched my children
324
:in our backyard, share the gospel
many times with our neighbors.
325
:I don't know how many times you
have that opportunity in a classroom
326
:when the agenda is set for you.
327
:How much free time do children
really have to talk to each other?
328
:So I think that providing an academic
setting for them at home and guiding them
329
:through the homeschooling process, then
I think they have a lot more free time.
330
:I have seen there be a lot of
opportunities for my kids to be a light
331
:to other children, and I don't think
that choosing homeschooling is taking
332
:ourself out of evangelistic opportunities.
333
:Jen: Oh, I fully agree.
334
:In fact, I feel like it opens
up so many more opportunities
335
:because our kids are available.
336
:So when we have kids in the neighborhood,
I have often been one that, Hey.
337
:I'm working right now and so is getting
off the bus and I won't be home.
338
:Can they stop by your house?
339
:Absolutely.
340
:We'd love to have them come over.
341
:I have to work late.
342
:Can so and so come to
your home and have dinner?
343
:Yes.
344
:We'd love to have so and so for dinner.
345
:Our neighborhood kids
are our favorite kids.
346
:We they're awesome.
347
:They're so much fun.
348
:We love having them over.
349
:One of them has had dinner
here multiple times.
350
:We have youth group here and he's
eating dinner with the youth group kids.
351
:And he's, a young kid, my, my son's age.
352
:And he just fits in and I just love that.
353
:I love the fact that we have the
time to be able to do that and to
354
:be able to have those relationships
and those, the The influence in
355
:their heart and in their lives.
356
:But also I agree with you.
357
:I, every parent that I have talked
to who has their kids in a public
358
:school setting, they're like, Oh my
goodness, they don't have time to talk.
359
:They in between school they're
in between classes, maybe a
360
:brief moment here or there, or at
lunchtime, maybe a brief moment.
361
:And that's not to negate the fact that
yes, they have built those relationships.
362
:They can meet outside of
school and they probably do.
363
:And we're, by all means, we're not
saying homeschool is the only way, but I
364
:think culture so often gives homeschool
a bad rap that like, they're living
365
:in a bubble and that they don't ever
associate with anybody outside of that.
366
:And nothing could be
further from the truth.
367
:They're talking to kids.
368
:My kids are talking to people everywhere,
whether it's at the grocery store,
369
:because people, they're talking to
the adults at the grocery store in the
370
:line, asking why they're not in school.
371
:And they're talking to random people
that we come across on a walk, on
372
:a On our walk together and they
are talking to so many people.
373
:And so nothing could be further from
the truth when someone says that
374
:homeschoolers are not socialized.
375
:In fact, I find the opposite is
more true nowadays that typically,
376
:generally the homeschool world is a
little bit less free and giving their
377
:children a phone and technology.
378
:And.
379
:Therefore, they have to have that face
to face communication where some of
380
:the older kids or some of the kids
that are in regular schools, they
381
:need to have their iPads for school.
382
:They need to have their phone for the
pickups and things, and they're not having
383
:that face to face conversation, and they
don't know how to have that conversation
384
:like some of the other kids are.
385
:And so I feel like in recent years,
the social aspect has totally flipped.
386
:It's now Some of the homeschool kids
that actually can socialize at a
387
:greater rate and with more eloquence
because they are actually talking
388
:face to face with people as opposed
to just being on their technology.
389
:And I definitely think that.
390
:This isn't saying that homeschool is the
only way, but for so long homeschool did
391
:get a bad rap that I think now people are
starting to wake up and be like, wait a
392
:minute, I think there's something here.
393
:I think there's something
that we missed out on.
394
:Stephanie: Yes.
395
:I, have you ever read the book
Chasing Slow by Erin Lochner?
396
:Jen: Ooh, I think I have that.
397
:Is there a picture of a boat on it?
398
:Stephanie: No, it's her like dragging,
399
:Jen: Okay.
400
:Stephanie: there's her
dragging a bag of trash
401
:Jen: Oh, definitely not read that
402
:Stephanie: okay, so she's fantastic
and she wrote a book recently
403
:called The Opt Out Family.
404
:And I, I expected her to
present here's the research,
405
:but you can do what you want.
406
:And she was like, the research is so
strong, like we are in a battle for
407
:our children and you better watch out
because technology is coming for you.
408
:she had her own HGTV show and
and she was huge on social media
409
:and she walked away from it all.
410
:And so she is writing the book
saying, these are the methods that
411
:I was taught to pull people in.
412
:And this is how big
tech is coming for you.
413
:And this is how you can use those
same marketing principles in your
414
:home to make life exciting for your
kids and to draw them in instead of
415
:them being drawn into technology.
416
:But she talked in that book about
teachers and how the children are just
417
:being given devices and they're sitting
there in the classroom staring at them.
418
:And how it's taking away a lot of this
engagement and just so much that the
419
:school setting, so many of the beautiful
things that school used to be is being
420
:threatened by the presence of technology.
421
:Recently we had some kids over and
they had been given devices in their
422
:school and they showed my kids.
423
:Some math games that they play
at school, and I'm sorry, I was
424
:laughing so hard because I'm
like, these are not math games!
425
:There is no math here whatsoever
just because it's on coolmathgames.
426
:com.
427
:I think parents and educators
are being completely the wool
428
:is being pulled over their eyes.
429
:This is not a math game.
430
:Just because a watermelon smashes
into a pineapple and a number appears
431
:on the screen no math was done.
432
:And, someone is being told that their
kids are learning math or that the
433
:students are learning math and they're
allowed to go on these websites as they're
434
:learning, just sitting in a classroom.
435
:the game was fun.
436
:I will give it that and I'm
playing it, but I'm, it's not math.
437
:It's a relaxing game.
438
:Jen: Oh, I love it.
439
:Stephanie: Before I pray over you.
440
:I invite you to consider
supporting and trusted ministries.
441
:It is a heartbeat and mission
to help mothers apply the word
442
:of God to their parenting.
443
:If you would consider becoming a monthly
partner, no matter how small of a
444
:contribution it would truly bless us.
445
:Please go to and trusted
ministries.com to our donate page.
446
:We want to keep this
content coming for you.
447
:And we appreciate any sacrifice
that you're able to make.
448
:Thank you.
449
:We know you're busy, Mama, so
we are truly grateful you joined
450
:us for this episode of Again.
451
:If you're looking for more information
about building your home on the
452
:foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.
453
:EntrustedMinistries.
454
:com to learn more about our study for
moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.
455
:This scripture saturated study
has blessed families around the
456
:world, and we want it for you, too.
457
:Before you go, I want to pray
this benediction over you
458
:from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.
459
:We're rooting for you.
460
:To this end, we always pray for you,
that our God may make you worthy of His
461
:calling, and may fulfill every resolve
for good and every work of faith by
462
:His power, so that the name of our Lord
Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in
463
:Him, according to the grace of our God.
464
:And the Lord Jesus Christ.
465
:Amen.
466
:Until we meet again.