Episode 60

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Published on:

7th Nov 2024

#60. A Refresher on The Importance of Biblical Convictions and Personal Convictions + Addressing Common Objections of Homeschooling... And Why It's So Worth It For Some Families

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In this episode, Jen and Steph highlight the benefits they have seen of homeschooing they have seen while addressing common objections people raise to this method of education. Christian moms looking for hope to stay the course or curious on what homeschooing could look like will benefit from this episode.

Jen and Steph also acknowledge that school choice is a personal conviction and the importance of following our consciences on the topic. Steph goes through a summary of the difference between personal and biblical convictions at the top of the episode.

Consider listening to Natasha Craine's breakdown of the main educational options.

Scripture Referenced:

Romans 14


Transcript
Stephanie:

They're the joyful agains our children shout on the swings, the

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exhausting agains of cooking and laundry,

and the difficult agains of discipline.

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So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

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So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

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to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

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We believe God's Word is

the key to untangle from the

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confusion and overwhelm we feel.

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Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

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Welcome back to the again, podcast

brought to you by entrusted ministries.

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I'm Stephanie Hickox and today I'm

joined by the amazing Jen Frackman.

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As we talk a little bit more about

homeschooling and Hawaii, it's

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been such a blessing in our homes.

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If you're homeschooling right now and

you need a little encouragement about

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why it could be such a great experience

and what a day could look like.

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We hope we remove a little

bit of that mystery and help

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you focus on the end goals.

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We find that many mothers in

our generation grew up in public

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schools or private schools.

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We all know what that looks

like and what a day could be.

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But homeschooling can be a

little bit mysterious, as I said.

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So we want to talk about the beauty of it.

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Of course, there are challenges to be

dealt with as there are in any school

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system or in any school environment.

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I want to recommend a podcast episode by

Natasha Crain about schooling choices.

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It was an extremely well thought through

discussion on the benefits and negatives

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of a variety of schooling choices.

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She stays very neutral and

brings some really unexpected

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thoughts to her topic discussion.

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I also want to be so clear that

we believe that school choice

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is a personal conviction.

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Some Bible teachers have trumpeted their

perspective on this topic and made it

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sound like it's a biblical conviction.

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But in the spirit of Romans 14, we want

to honor other believers with our choices.

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Although Jen and I feel very

strongly about the benefits

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of homeschooling for us.

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We know that it's not for everyone.

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And we support how God has led you.

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To educate your children.

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We know it can feel lonely and at times

overwhelming to homeschool though.

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So when we talk about it on the

podcast, our heart is to encourage

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the moms that need a little pep talk.

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To keep that finish line in mind and

to think about why they're doing this.

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Perhaps when I said that you thought,

what is a personal conviction?

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I think that this is one of the

most helpful topics in all of

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the interested with the child's

heart parenting curriculum.

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Betsy very clearly discusses

what a personal conviction is,

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what a biblical conviction is.

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And then what personal preferences are.

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So I just wanted to give a quick

description of those right now.

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Because it doesn't just

relate to school choice.

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It constantly comes up in our lives.

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Biblical convictions deal with

clear biblical instructions and

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commands, essential doctrines and

developing Christ-like character.

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Biblical convictions, unite believers

of all cultures and all times.

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If you were to look at scripture, the

commands that existed for the early

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church still exists for us today.

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Biblical convictions are

thus sayeth the Lord.

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But personal convictions are different.

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And they're created as

we read the word of God.

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And he moves in our hearts.

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And we develop our own personal

convictions based on what we read and

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our desire to grow in personal holiness.

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As a parent.

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So many personal convictions will

come up and you are allowed to

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develop what you want your family

to look like and to be known for.

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Your children may notice that another

family is doing something different

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and you get to say, that's okay.

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This is how our family does it.

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And you can explain why.

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The word of God has led you

to that personal conviction

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or that biblical conviction.

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Personal conviction.

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Say thus, say it.

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The mom and dad are thus

say me as a believer.

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This might become evident through a

family plan or a family mission statement.

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And then from those personal convictions,

you often develop personal preferences.

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Perhaps you don't mind if your son grows

out his hair to be long, but to another

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mother that might sound horrifying.

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Perhaps your creative, but obedient

spirited daughter tells you she wants

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pink hair and you get to make the call.

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These are personal preferences and

they extend way beyond hairstyles.

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God calls us to be steadfast in

regard to biblical convictions.

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There's not room for compromise here.

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And we should be understanding in

regard to personal convictions.

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And we should be flexible in

regard to personal preferences.

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Our biblical convictions

should never change, but our

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personal convictions can change.

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As we grow closer to Christ.

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Or as we gain new information

and our personal preferences

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can certainly change as well.

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I encourage you to read

through Romans 14 for yourself.

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But I'm just going to repeat these

six key principles of personal

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convictions from entrusted with

a child's heart lesson three.

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Number one disputable issues

do exist among believers.

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They are gray areas about

which we may think differently.

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Both groups are accepted by the

Lord and he is savored to both.

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These things should not divide us.

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Number two, it is important to have

personal convictions, even though they

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may differ from those of other believers.

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We have to form our own

convictions by what we believe

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is most pleasing to the Lord.

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Number three, our personal convictions

must never violate our contents is.

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If it violates your conscience, it

is sin and you should not do it.

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Even if another believer

is giving you pressure.

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Number four don't pass judgment on the

personal convictions of another believer.

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We should be loving and

accepting of other believers.

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Of course, if it's a biblical

conviction, scripture commands us

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to handle all of these differently.

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Number five, don't allow your

personal convictions to cause

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discord among other believers.

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We demonstrate that we are truly

children of God when we love each other.

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Why would we allow something that might

not go against our conscience to be a

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stumbling block, to another believer?

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Number six biblical convictions take

precedence over personal convictions.

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Christ is always central.

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If you're thinking, okay, I

need to study that topic more.

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We would recommend taking entrusted

with the child's heart as this

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theme is woven throughout.

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And maybe even if you've

taken a trusted before.

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You're thinking, oh, I need to revisit

that because the personal convictions

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I had when my children were toddlers.

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I need to figure out how to apply

those now that they're teenagers.

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Remember and trusted is for every

age and every stage of motherhood.

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I recently got to go to a

conference and talk about entrusted.

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And I had a heartbreaking conversation

with a pastor that explained to me a

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situation of mothers in his church,

pressuring a mother to make a decision.

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That violated her conscience.

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It was clear to me.

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That this.

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Exact issue of personal convictions.

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was the heart of the dissension.

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it wasn't a biblical conviction.

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These moms were trumpeting.

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It was a personal conviction and

there were devastating consequences.

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Whether it's encouraging

other mothers in our lives.

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Or discussions on social media.

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The Lord has not called us to stir up.

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Dissensions.

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So again, I want to say those three

summarizing statements let's be steadfast

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in regard to our biblical convictions.

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Be understanding in regard

to personal convictions.

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And be flexible in regard

to personal preferences.

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And if you'd like to learn more about

homeschooling, keep listening, mama.

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We talked one episode about

convincing you, you can do it.

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We want to reiterate some of our favorite

things we've done and that we feel really

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confident about, or maybe if we could go

back, how we would adjust things with what

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the Lord has taught us since we began.

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And be a little bit more practical.

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If you are homeschooling right now, these

are the things we think that you should

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focus on, and maybe if you decided not

to homeschool this year but it's looking

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like something in your future, or you

would just love to know more if you

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ever go down that path, we want to just

equip you with some more practical tips.

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Answers.

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Jen, as you look back at your

homeschooling career right

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now, what are some key lessons

that the Lord has taught you?

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Jen: I would say when the kids

were little, he taught me.

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To just take it slow, to let them be

little, to let them enjoy the things

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at their pace, and to not rush them

along, not rush them along in reading,

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not rush them along in math time,

to take the time that they needed.

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And when they were little, instead

of being like, okay, we're going to

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memorize all of the parts of a flower,

and we're going to memorize all the

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that there are out there, to instead

go and Take a walk together and be

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like look at these beautiful flowers.

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Isn't God so good?

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Look how creative he is.

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How many flowers do you

even see here in this field?

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Isn't this absolutely amazing?

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And then to have that spark the

interest in them, that they want

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to go home and look up, what

was this flower that we pulled?

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And what parts art in this flower and

for them to desire that and to take that

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desire and then dive deeper into it.

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That I think was something

that was super beautiful to do,

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especially when they were younger.

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And we had the time to do that, to take

the walks and to be slower and to not

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have as much packed in as what they do

now in high school and middle school.

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I also think I have

often lived by the quote.

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To cut back until there's

peace in your home.

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And so yes we live and we are always

trying to give God glory in that

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we don't have to accomplish it all.

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And we are not expected

to accomplish it all.

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We put forth with the

best effort that we can.

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We do what we can as unto the Lord

and we leave the rest at his feet.

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And if we are.

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Stressed and rushed and overwhelmed.

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No one's learning in

that environment anyway.

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And so what can we cut back so that

it's more peaceful, but yet still having

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excellence and striving toward not

perfection, but what is excellent for you?

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What is that we can do so

that you are not overloaded?

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, but the standard is high.

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I still expect a lot of you, but

I'm not going to make you feel

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completely exhausted and burned out.

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Stephanie: Yeah, so much wisdom in that.

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We want them to delight in it and

we want them to look back and see

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it as a positive experience, right?

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It's this balance of setting them up

for success in the future while still

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delighting in every day with them.

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Jen: Yeah.

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Stephanie: find, I feel like the Lord

just helped me even put words to that

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today we are always looking to the

future and trying to prepare well.

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And we're trying to build upon a strong

foundation, both, obviously spiritually

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first, but then also academically and, We

want to, be wise with the time that the

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Lord's given us, teach us to number our

days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

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And when we really look back at how

much time we had, did we build it?

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Taking the time to delight in him, to

delight in each other, and that has

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been such a treasure when I look at, of

course my kids fight with each other But

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the bonds that they have are so sweet

and I can remember so my oldest was in

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kindergarten when we had our fourth.

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And to have these three little

brothers looking down at their little

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sister, and they just adore her.

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Now, she just turned 7 this week and

they all bought her a present and

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they were so excited to give it to her

and nobody wants to do homeschool on

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her birthday because they just want

to enjoy her and it was so sweet.

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To see how that has, obviously that can

continue when you're separated all day.

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And I think maybe in some situations

it's helpful to have the situation or the

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separation, but I can see how like that

investment of time and all of these shared

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experiences has built up that tenderness.

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And I'm thankful.

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I just felt like that was something

I got to see this week of oh, those

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three brothers that used to just watch

you sleep and love you, that there's

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still these three doting brothers

that are for you and to learn together

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and Making all of these connections

together as a family, whether it is

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reading a great book together, whether

it's learning connections in history,

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it's such a blessing of an experience.

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Jen: I agree.

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I tell my kids all the time, you

guys are best buddies and you are

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creating memories that only the four

of you will ever remember again.

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You won't be able to go to anybody else

and be like, remember when this happened?

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Or remember when we read this story?

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Or remember this?

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But with all four of you,

You get to all experience and

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remember these memories together.

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And if you were at school all day,

it would be like one or two kids

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remembering portions of it, or mom

and that one kid remembering portions.

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But to be able to all of us remember,

sometimes I feel bad for Eric because

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I'm like, man, you don't get to be

here to experience some of this.

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And we get to all have.

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These memories together, and

I am so grateful for that.

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I was just talking to a friend the other

day who was interested in homeschool,

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but didn't feel like she could do it.

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And it was like, I just, I, I get

overwhelmed and I just feel like I'm

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going to be so overwhelmed with the kids.

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And I was like, you will be overwhelmed.

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Like

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There are going to be days where you are

overwhelmed, but I guarantee there's days

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that you're overwhelmed as a public school

mom as well, or as a Christian school mom.

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There's just days that are like that.

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But overarching, the whole

idea behind it is you will be

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overwhelmed with gratefulness for

the hours you have with your child.

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I read a quote the other day that said

:

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homeschool a child for one academic year.

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So if you homeschool, even from seventh

grade until 12th grade, you get 6, 000

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That is a return on investment.

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6, 000 more hours.

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You have so much more time to

spend pouring into them, seeing

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where their heart is at and

what sin issue is coming out.

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People say that all the time

to me oh, do you homeschool to

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keep your kids out of the public

schools and what's going on there?

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I was like, no.

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Actually, no, because guess what?

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We have so much sin within these walls.

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We're hitting all aspects of the sin.

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But I homeschool so that when those sin

issues come up, we have the time to stop

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and to address it and to be able to turn

our hearts and our affections back to

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the Lord and to fix those relationships.

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We had something this week

come up that we stopped.

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I was like, we are not moving on.

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In any subject until you two

sit down and figure out what's

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going on between you guys.

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And they had to sit

down and figure it out.

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And they took a while to do it.

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They took, there was lots of hurt

feelings and things that were coming

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up that I was like, man, you've

been holding onto this for a while.

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And tears were coming out, but I was

so grateful that in the middle of the

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day, we could take the time to do this.

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We could address these

things in their heart.

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And so just having those hours.

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Is it is overwhelming to me.

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It overwhelms my heart with joy

and thankfulness to the Lord.

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Thank you that I get all of

this extra time with my kids.

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It is going so fast.

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Olivia is 15 years old, almost 16.

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And I cannot tell you

how fast this has gone.

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And I have been with her

99 percent of her life,

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Stephanie: yeah,

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Jen: as much as I possibly could.

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And it still is going fast.

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I cannot imagine how fast it would

go if I was, if she was gone all day.

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And I'm just so grateful for that.

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And I'd rather be overwhelmed with joy and

gratefulness for the time and occasionally

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be overwhelmed with how much is going on

and all the burdens that come with it.

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Stephanie: yes.

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Earlier we talked about taking

that 20 year view, and in the day

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to day, it can feel like this was

not in the plan, like these two

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having it out was not in my plan.

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But if I think about in 20 years, this

is going to matter, that they worked it

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out, that they have a great relationship.

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But this algebra lesson, this

logic lesson, this geography,

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whatever is not going to matter.

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But their relationship will and

to keep that at the forefront.

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And I laugh too, when people say, cause

I was on a panel recently talking about

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different schooling options and the

people that were advocating for public

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school said I just think, I don't

want my children finding out about

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things when they go off to college.

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I want them.

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To be able to help explain

it when they're with me.

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And I was like, I'm in shock.

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You can't turn on Wheel of

Fortune without, like a man

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saying my husband's here with me.

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And it's rampant, this day and age, you

can't really shelter them, but I think

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as a homeschooling mom, you actually get

to walk with them through all of those

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things instead of not knowing exactly

what they encountered in their school day.

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Sorry I'm not, we do believe this is a

personal conviction, so I'm not trying

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to get too fired up about it and make

it seem like this is the only way.

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I'm like, oh, I just went too far.

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But I just felt like that's not that isn't

a valid argument that we're not sheltering

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because it, I think it's very hard.

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You have to go off the grid

to shelter at this point.

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Jen: Yes.

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Stephanie: and then I think that

there's also really What seems

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like an incredibly valid argument.

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And in some circumstances, I'm sure it

is, but that you want your children to be

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a light and you want them to evangelize.

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But I actually, as I've processed

this and I have watched my children

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in our backyard, share the gospel

many times with our neighbors.

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I don't know how many times you

have that opportunity in a classroom

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when the agenda is set for you.

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How much free time do children

really have to talk to each other?

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So I think that providing an academic

setting for them at home and guiding them

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through the homeschooling process, then

I think they have a lot more free time.

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I have seen there be a lot of

opportunities for my kids to be a light

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to other children, and I don't think

that choosing homeschooling is taking

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ourself out of evangelistic opportunities.

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Jen: Oh, I fully agree.

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In fact, I feel like it opens

up so many more opportunities

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because our kids are available.

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So when we have kids in the neighborhood,

I have often been one that, Hey.

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I'm working right now and so is getting

off the bus and I won't be home.

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Can they stop by your house?

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Absolutely.

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We'd love to have them come over.

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I have to work late.

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Can so and so come to

your home and have dinner?

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Yes.

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We'd love to have so and so for dinner.

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Our neighborhood kids

are our favorite kids.

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We they're awesome.

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They're so much fun.

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We love having them over.

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One of them has had dinner

here multiple times.

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We have youth group here and he's

eating dinner with the youth group kids.

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And he's, a young kid, my, my son's age.

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And he just fits in and I just love that.

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I love the fact that we have the

time to be able to do that and to

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be able to have those relationships

and those, the The influence in

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their heart and in their lives.

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But also I agree with you.

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I, every parent that I have talked

to who has their kids in a public

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school setting, they're like, Oh my

goodness, they don't have time to talk.

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They in between school they're

in between classes, maybe a

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brief moment here or there, or at

lunchtime, maybe a brief moment.

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And that's not to negate the fact that

yes, they have built those relationships.

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They can meet outside of

school and they probably do.

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And we're, by all means, we're not

saying homeschool is the only way, but I

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think culture so often gives homeschool

a bad rap that like, they're living

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in a bubble and that they don't ever

associate with anybody outside of that.

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And nothing could be

further from the truth.

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They're talking to kids.

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My kids are talking to people everywhere,

whether it's at the grocery store,

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because people, they're talking to

the adults at the grocery store in the

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line, asking why they're not in school.

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And they're talking to random people

that we come across on a walk, on

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a On our walk together and they

are talking to so many people.

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And so nothing could be further from

the truth when someone says that

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homeschoolers are not socialized.

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In fact, I find the opposite is

more true nowadays that typically,

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generally the homeschool world is a

little bit less free and giving their

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children a phone and technology.

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And.

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Therefore, they have to have that face

to face communication where some of

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the older kids or some of the kids

that are in regular schools, they

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need to have their iPads for school.

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They need to have their phone for the

pickups and things, and they're not having

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that face to face conversation, and they

don't know how to have that conversation

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like some of the other kids are.

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And so I feel like in recent years,

the social aspect has totally flipped.

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It's now Some of the homeschool kids

that actually can socialize at a

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greater rate and with more eloquence

because they are actually talking

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face to face with people as opposed

to just being on their technology.

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And I definitely think that.

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This isn't saying that homeschool is the

only way, but for so long homeschool did

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get a bad rap that I think now people are

starting to wake up and be like, wait a

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minute, I think there's something here.

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I think there's something

that we missed out on.

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Stephanie: Yes.

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I, have you ever read the book

Chasing Slow by Erin Lochner?

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Jen: Ooh, I think I have that.

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Is there a picture of a boat on it?

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Stephanie: No, it's her like dragging,

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Jen: Okay.

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Stephanie: there's her

dragging a bag of trash

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Jen: Oh, definitely not read that

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Stephanie: okay, so she's fantastic

and she wrote a book recently

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called The Opt Out Family.

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And I, I expected her to

present here's the research,

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but you can do what you want.

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And she was like, the research is so

strong, like we are in a battle for

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our children and you better watch out

because technology is coming for you.

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she had her own HGTV show and

and she was huge on social media

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and she walked away from it all.

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And so she is writing the book

saying, these are the methods that

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I was taught to pull people in.

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And this is how big

tech is coming for you.

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And this is how you can use those

same marketing principles in your

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home to make life exciting for your

kids and to draw them in instead of

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them being drawn into technology.

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But she talked in that book about

teachers and how the children are just

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being given devices and they're sitting

there in the classroom staring at them.

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And how it's taking away a lot of this

engagement and just so much that the

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school setting, so many of the beautiful

things that school used to be is being

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threatened by the presence of technology.

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Recently we had some kids over and

they had been given devices in their

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school and they showed my kids.

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Some math games that they play

at school, and I'm sorry, I was

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laughing so hard because I'm

like, these are not math games!

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There is no math here whatsoever

just because it's on coolmathgames.

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com.

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I think parents and educators

are being completely the wool

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is being pulled over their eyes.

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This is not a math game.

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Just because a watermelon smashes

into a pineapple and a number appears

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on the screen no math was done.

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And, someone is being told that their

kids are learning math or that the

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students are learning math and they're

allowed to go on these websites as they're

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learning, just sitting in a classroom.

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the game was fun.

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I will give it that and I'm

playing it, but I'm, it's not math.

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It's a relaxing game.

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Jen: Oh, I love it.

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Stephanie: Before I pray over you.

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I invite you to consider

supporting and trusted ministries.

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:

It is a heartbeat and mission

to help mothers apply the word

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:

of God to their parenting.

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If you would consider becoming a monthly

partner, no matter how small of a

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:

contribution it would truly bless us.

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:

Please go to and trusted

ministries.com to our donate page.

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We want to keep this

content coming for you.

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:

And we appreciate any sacrifice

that you're able to make.

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:

Thank you.

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We know you're busy, Mama, so

we are truly grateful you joined

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:

us for this episode of Again.

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If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

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:

foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

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EntrustedMinistries.

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com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

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:

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

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:

world, and we want it for you, too.

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Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

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from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

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We're rooting for you.

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To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

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:

calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good and every work of faith by

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His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

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Him, according to the grace of our God.

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:

And the Lord Jesus Christ.

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Amen.

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:

Until we meet again.

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About the Podcast

Again
Biblical Motherhood Untangled
So much of what we do as mothers is on repeat. Join us to redeem this repetition and untangle from the confusion and overwhelm of parenting. We'll follow the Agains in the Bible to focus on the things that matter most. Let's look up together to embrace a motherhood full of freedom and joy! This podcast is sponsored by Entrusted Ministries.

About your host

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Stephanie Hickox

Stephanie has always delighted in God’s Word and in sharing it with others. Whether it is equipping mothers and leaders through Entrusted with a Child’s Heart, inspiring students when teaching at homeschool co-ops or children’s ministry, or homeschooling her own children, Stephanie’s life mission is to encourage others to follow faithfully and joyfully after Jesus—especially if they hold her favorite job title: mom.

Betsy Corning wrote Entrusted with a Child’s Heart in 1999 in response to the needs she saw in families as she and David counseled young parents just a few years behind them. Entrusted has been taught in hundreds of churches nationwide, been translated into several foreign languages, and has made its way around the world. More recently, Betsy received her Masters in Biblical Studies from The Master’s University and is developing a new Bible Study program called Get the Word Out. Her passion for God’s Word, discipleship, and teaching biblical principles as they apply to family life has remained strong to this day. One of the greatest blessings in Betsy’s life are her three grown children, their spouses, and ten grandchildren that keep her constantly in touch with every age and stage.

Jen Freckman Is an incredible wealth of wisdom. She will tell you a natural remedy for just about anything! She is also a voracious reader and she is just overflowing with quotes and guidance that she's encountered through reading and being faithful. She delights in her children and is a devoted mother. She is also an amazingly creative problem solver! Her solutions to manage her home and guide her children are inspiring.

Emily Deyo is such a treasure. She is an incredible encourager and servant-hearted woman. When she has the mic in front of her, so much value comes out! She is a wordsmith and her heart consistently beats for how she can encourage and serve others. She is a truly loving and attentive mother.

Join Betsy, Emily, Jen, and Stephanie as they share the wisdom only Scripture and on-the-job training can provide to help untangle the joyful calling of motherhood.