#42. Ordering Our Days: Part 1 (There's a Reason You Feel Overwhelmed)
Betsy, Jen, and Steph are back in person and excited to give all their best tips to help Christian moms order their days, weeks, and months! BUT FIRST, they're making sure our hearts are right. Instead of embracing routines, they point us to embrace a Savior. Rather than running to quick-fixes, they remind us to put on a posture of peace that only comes from a heart surrendered to Christ. They also seek to remove the shame we can feel from not knowing how to create systems for our lives. So many of us feel overwhelmed, but how did we get here?
Scriptures Referenced:
John 10:10
Psalm 127:2
Genesis 2:2-3
Hebrews 4:1-7
Lamentations 3:22-23, 27
Psalm 118:24
Psalm 16:3, 9
Proverbs 14:4
Psalm 90:12
Ephesians 2:10
Matthew 6:25-34
2 Corinthians 10:5
Proverbs 6:6-8
Philippians 4:6-7
Book Recommendation:
Growing In Gratitude By Mary Mohler
Transcript
They're the joyful agains our children
shout on the swings, the exhausting
2
:agains of cooking and laundry, and
the difficult agains of discipline.
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:So much of what we do
as mothers is on repeat.
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:So what if we woke up with clarity,
knowing which agains we were called
5
:to, and went to bed believing we
are faithful in what matters most?
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:We believe God's Word is
the key to untangle from the
7
:confusion and overwhelm we feel.
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:Let's look up together to embrace a
motherhood full of freedom and joy.
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:Stephanie: Today, I am in person
with Aunt Betsy and Jen, and we
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:are so excited to be together.
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:It's been almost a year, we are
recording in Tennessee today, and
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:we wanted to talk about scheduling.
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:and planning out our days, our
weeks, our months, and really
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:setting intention for our lives.
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:We notice that there is A commonality with
moms today of feeling very overwhelmed
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:and we want to practically help with that,
but first we want to remove some of the
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:shame of that and point to some cultural
movements that may have led to this.
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:It's easy to maybe wallow in it.
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:And we have a culture right now
that's embracing hot mess motherhood
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:and letting us sit there, but that's
not what the Lord would have for us.
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:Jen, what do you think has contributed
to this feeling of overwhelm and feeling
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:not equipped to really order our days?
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:Jen: Yeah, I think there are definitely
a number of things that have played into
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:this, but one of them is, That we as this
generation of Stephanie and my generation,
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:I don't feel like we were equipped.
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:We were not in school taught home ec.
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:We were not in school taught how to
run your household, how to handle
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:finances, how to handle meals
and cleaning and all the things.
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:Unless we had a stay at home mom.
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:I actually had a stay at home mom
and who was fantastic at all of
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:these, but she swung the opposite.
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:because her mom worked and she did
all of these for us because she didn't
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:want us to have to do them ourselves.
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:So there wasn't as much
teaching of how to do it.
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:She just did it for us.
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:But she had taken home back in
school and so she had learned
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:some of these from that.
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:But we see in Instagram and we see in
Pinterest and we see all these things
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:done with perfection and so much more.
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:Many things.
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:Everything has to be homemade
now and everything has to be done
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:perfectly and Instagram worthy.
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:And so I think that it can lead to
a sense of a deer in headlights.
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:Now what
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:,
I
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:I have to do this and I have to do
it well, but break it down for me.
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:What does this actually look
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:Stephanie: Yes,
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:it's almost paralyzing
the amount of information.
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:You might have a problem you're trying
to solve and then you go on and all of a
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:sudden, this flood of information makes
you feel like anything you're going to
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:do, It might not be good enough, or you
just don't quite know how to solve it,
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:or you're seeing all of these different
systems and none of them quite fits
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:your life, and then you just scroll
for a while and leave not solving the
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:problem, I think is what many moms are
turning to, and we can relate to that.
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:Aunt Betsy, you have a better perspective
of what's happened for a longer time.
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:I'm older.
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:But you've seen, the passing of
generations of what's happened for
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:this lack of equipping for mothers
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:Betsy: I look at my mom and she was
so very talented in hospitality.
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:Oh my goodness, she could cook, she could
sew, she could design, she could draw.
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:Very creative person.
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:And, really instilled a lot of those
things into us, except I never learned
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:how to sew a lick, and I wish I did.
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:Because she could even sew purses
and hats and complete matching
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:suits and extraordinary things.
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:She designed shop windows when she was in
college at the finest department stores.
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:And I just really marveled
at her ability and she really
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:encouraged us in a lot of things.
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:Honestly, I never took home ec myself.
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:I took all the sciences.
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:I was very interested in that area of
study so but we bought a restaurant
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:when I think I was 12 years old
and that forced me to Learn how to
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:do a lot of some of those skills.
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:So I don't necessarily think that it's
You know, necessarily your home situation,
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:except to say that the things that were
happening, the movements of the time,
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:when I went to high school and college,
there was a lot of pressure on women,
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:young women my age, and then of course Our
mothers to go back to work and we hear the
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:term latchkey kids that came out because
there was a backlash Against mothers
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:going to work because what was happening
with their children For the times, three
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:to five And honestly this research has
shown that's the time Most teenagers get
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:pregnant three to five in the afternoon.
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:Isn't that interesting?
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:Because their parents aren't there.
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:Stephanie: Change the phrase, nothing good
happens after midnight or between 3 and 5.
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:Betsy: 5.
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:Yes.
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:Stephanie: It's
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:Betsy: funny because when my husband
and I were in college and I share that
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:experience of when we had our biggest
sort of knockdown dragout without the
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:literal knockdown dragout Fight was or
conflict Was over this sort of thing of
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:going back to work or continuing on with
school and we made the non negotiable
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:at that point To that I would always
be home with my kids no matter what I
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:did in my life I would be home with my
kids when they went to school I would
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:be home with them when they came home
from school and then I would order my
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:day around that and that never changed.
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:We, we kept that and that's why
we call it a non negotiable.
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:We make non negotiables every, year or
so, but that's one of those steady ones
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:that has always existed until obviously
my kids moved out, out of the house.
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:But I would say this whole latchkey kid
thing and the pressure on women of that
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:day to be assertive To speak their mind,
not let anybody take advantage of them,
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:to not be submissive in the home or in the
workplace or anywhere and that the woman
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:could do it all and she could be super
mom and she could, bring home the bacon,
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:as the commercial said, do you remember?
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:Bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan.
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:I never let you forget you're a man.
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:That, that was a commercial on TV.
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:MIC3: Interesting.
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:MIC2: and it was a
cigarette commercial of all
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:Betsy: things.
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:MIC3: What?
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:Yes.
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:Betsy: Yes,
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:which now you're not even allowed to have.
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:Jen: yeah,
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:Betsy: That was the mentality of
that age and women were, began to
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:feel that if they weren't out in the
workplace that they really weren't
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:pulling their weight in the home.
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:And so of course we know that's
had a major influence on our
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:families and on our culture.
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:I think back to when Martha Stewart
started doing her Let's Make a Pie and
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:you were, we were looking at the cards
in the store that said, A picture of
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:a pie on the front of the cart and you
open it up and I don't know what it is
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:either, but, happy birthday and I think
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:appreciated Martha Stewart, whether
you do or not, for her bringing back
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:domesticity to the home and making women
feel like there's value in the home.
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:This is fun.
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:We can be creative at home.
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:We can do all these things for our family.
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:And love it.
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:Now, she's definitely pretty perfect
at what she does, but don't we know she
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:has a lot of people helping her to get
that perfect shot and there's probably
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:a lot of takes that aren't so perfect
before they get that perfect shot.
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:But I certainly enjoy
doing things at home.
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:I really do love it.
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:I know that if I have a busy day
and I'm outta the house a lot, if
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:I have a day, and this was always
true, if I have a full day at home
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:where I don't have to go anywhere.
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:That's like my favorite
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:Jen: have to
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:Betsy: love
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:it.
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:Yes.
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:Jen: I feel a restlessness when I see
that there is so many different things.
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:Just the other day we were joking
around, but I had to leave the
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:home five times and I'm like, and
they call me a stay at home mom.
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:actually
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:MIC3: Like I'm actually
leaving at five times today.
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:And I, but it just, I don't
like having to live that way.
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:And life happens and there are times
where you have to do that, but there
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:is something about those days when
you can be home and you can do that.
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:you can be together as a family.
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:You can do the catching up of the laundry
and the cleaning, and you're not stuck
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:to a schedule of having to get there, do
this, accomplish this, accomplish that.
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:And you can play a game of skip
o with the kids because you
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:don't have to be somewhere.
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:But I think that it, it's It
requires a lot of intentionality
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:in your scheduling and
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:MIC2: I think we have just filled our
minds with so many things to think
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:about and sometimes we just need to
step back and just be and get our
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:minds and our wits about us and relax.
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:And I always thought of my
husband in those early days.
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:He's at the office.
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:He has to think about this person's
issue and this person's problem outside
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:of the family constantly all day.
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:But me, I can pull back and I felt I
just thank the Lord that I have this
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:freedom to think about the Lord all day.
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:And I'm sure that my husband is
too, but you know what I'm saying?
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:It's I don't have this flood of
Everything else constantly Bombarding
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:my mind and it's in some ways.
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:It's a practice.
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:It's a choice There's a discipline
of having quiet time, which we've
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:talked about in an earlier episode
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:MIC3: Yeah, for sure.
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:It's interesting, Steph,
what do you think about that?
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:Do you feel like you, I'm
wondering about this generation.
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:Cause as she's saying freedom to
be able to think about Christ.
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:I definitely have those times in my
day where I've, Where I'm doing the
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:quiet time and I feel he permeates
my thoughts and it's a constant
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:conversation with him throughout the day.
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:But I, there are times where I am
like, there is so much coming at me.
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:What is going on?
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:What do you feel about that?
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:Stephanie: I think there's a
different reality to being a
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:homeschooling mom where, I've never
sent my children even to preschool.
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:So there hasn't been a really any
season of my life that I, Since I've
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:had all four of them, I've been there
and I think the reality of that kind
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:of compounds almost where you realize,
Oh, like I've never organized a closet
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:without also watching four kids.
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:I've never painted a room without
also watching four kids or getting up
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:in the middle of the night to do it.
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:Some of these things compound that.
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:It's a different, all of a sudden, I
think for us we're not just talking
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:about being a stay at home mom.
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:We're talking about being homeschooling
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:moms.
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:And I do feel that there is a surrender
to the Lord's agenda when we're with
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:our children and when we don't have a
work agenda, that's a reality that when
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:you believe that the most important
thing that you're doing is, discipling
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:your children and then also being.
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:a follower of Christ yourself.
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:When you really believe that there
is a peace that comes from it of
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:just opening your hands to, Lord,
this feels like an interruption.
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:This feels like we're, off track from
what I thought today was going to be.
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:But I believe that getting to this
child's heart is more important than
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:any load of laundry, any meal plan,
any reading lesson, any math lesson.
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:And so thank you for that.
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:And I find that there is a
piece that comes from that.
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:MIC3: Yes.
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:Stephanie: But there are times where, and
I, we've talked about that before, right?
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:That busyness often robs that,
those discipleship opportunities.
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:But I think that there's a distinction
between those and, but And we were talking
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:about some recent information, which
we'll talk about in another podcast, but
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:so few moms believe that they're doing
something of eternal value in their
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:home or that it's regularly meaningful.
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:And it is difficult to keep that
focus when you feel that your
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:days are consumed by the mundane.
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:It's difficult to keep a focus on, no,
this is making a lasting impact for
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:Christ and I am seen by the Lord and
he is delighting in my faithfulness.
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:I really do think we
need to contend for that.
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:What you were saying at Betsy
relates to that so much by the
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:culture telling us where our
worth and our identity comes from.
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:It's a generational thing.
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:It's also such an American thing that
our identity comes from our independence
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:and our worth comes from our work.
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:Yes.
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:And we.
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:We need to fight that with everything
in us because our greatest calling
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:is to be with the Lord, to sit at
the feet of Jesus, regardless of
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:what situations that takes us into
and to be faithful in those areas.
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:So I think we did, before we got into
the kind of the nitty gritty of the
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:scheduling and everything, we wanted
to make sure that our hearts are right
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:and why and making sure that we're
not swinging a pendulum of saying.
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:Order, or loosey goosey living, and we
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:MIC2: Yeah, It's
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:like that chart, that spectrum of order.
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:We don't want to be either extreme,
overly, extremely organized and
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:we can't handle any amount of
anything out of place to where we
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:just don't care about any of it.
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:Yeah.
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:And obviously those are both extremes.
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:Stephanie: Certainly.
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:And there, there has been research even
Stanford did a study about the amount
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:of clutter in a home is direct, directly
correlates to a woman's stress level.
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:Betsy: Oh, I totally
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:Jen: I agree.
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:Stephanie: And I think sometimes I
think it's helpful sometimes to even
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:realize, Oh, that's a valid thing.
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:There's a reason I felt like I had to
organize that before I could sit down
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:and really enjoy my time in the Word.
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:The, sometimes it can be
distracting or our minds are so
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:many places and to have peace.
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:And if that affects us, it might be
affecting our husbands and our children.
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:And I, so I think let's be intentional.
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:Let's be good stewards.
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:Let's be careful about what we accumulate
and careful that we maintain order
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:because it affects us in so many ways.
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:Betsy: and there's times of life where
you have to Just ease up on your order
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:Something that might be something
important to you if you lived by yourself
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:but you realize from that spectrum of
order you want to work more towards
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:balance harmony and unity with your
family and so You may have a person
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:in your family that doesn't think the
same way, and their temperament's not
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:the same, and you need to be balanced
so that everybody in the family feels
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:comfortable, feels, but not, if they're
way on the other side of the spectrum,
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:they need to move towards the center too.
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:That's an important thing.
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:I think of my pantry when I was young.
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:when my kids were in high school and they
would have their friends over and they'd
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:cook and bake and my pantry would not
be the way that I would love it to be
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:but then I just for A few years had to
just say, that's okay with me, whereas
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:it's against my natural inclination.
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:It's okay.
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:There's a little story that I used
to read at the end of Entrusted.
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:It's about, imagine having
a lipstick with a point, or,
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:not having sloppy oatmeal kisses or
somebody's handprint here or there.
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:You'll miss those little
things that your kids did.
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:I think you were telling me about
a handprint that was in the paint
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:of your house and you just cherish
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:it.
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:Stephanie: Yes.
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:On the front door, we had,
I painted the inside and.
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:It was still curing and one of the
kids you can just see a handprint
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:there and it's little and sweet
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:Betsy: and you know those
imperfections I feel like those are
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:the thumbprints on your home literally
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:But,
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:but some of those things are so special
we always say when they get that first
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:little ding on your car oh okay whatever
then you don't maybe value it so much you
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:don't worry about it so much you don't it
doesn't have so much you Control, you know
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:where you have to keep everything perfect.
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:Stephanie: I have found, sometimes,
you look for sources of wisdom on
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:some of these areas and If we don't
stay rooted in Christ, then all of a
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:sudden it becomes about the system.
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:It becomes about the order.
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:We lose the hearts of our children.
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:And we're, I just think that
there's such a danger in that.
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:And I personally, I saw there's
a very influential person that
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:she is in decluttering and
maintaining order in your home.
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:Initially, I had found her
years ago and her whole.
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:The whole idea was based on John
10, 10 I have come that, you might
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:have life and have it abundantly.
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:and she was drowning as a mother of
toddlers and the Lord said this is
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:not the life I have for you, I want
freedom and abundance of joy for you.
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:And so she, just the Lord gave her tips
on how do I bring order in my home?
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:And so I listened to her kind of for a
season and I felt Oh, this is so helpful.
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:And then I and then the Lord called me
to an information diet, which I think I
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:should talk about in another Podcast but
really just, okay, you've consumed enough.
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:Now you need to stop spending time finding
out solutions and just put them in action.
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:And so I stopped listening to her.
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:Then a couple of years later, Recently,
I went back and I thought, Oh, I have
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:a couple of questions about this.
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:I want to say, hear what she says about
this as my kids are getting older.
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:And I was shocked.
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:Her podcast is now explicit.
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:She's divorced.
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:And you could see how she went very
new agey with it, and Speaking to
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:moms about speaking affirmation to
yourselves and you could see how her
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:platform and her premise is still very
much about bringing order to the home,
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:but she has lost her focus on Christ and
it looks like her life is unraveling.
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:I don't see peace when I look at her.
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:And so before we say these practical
things, we just really want to make
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:sure that our hearts are right and
that we never forget that we're doing
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:this because our God is a God of order.
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:We're not doing this to
make ourselves elevated.
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:It's really about honoring the peace that
comes from order and that peace that the
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:Lord has established to be prevalent in
our homes, in the church, in our families.
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:Betsy: I think we want to make the
point that we're not seeking perfection.
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:We're not seeking perfection.
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:And there's so much freedom in that
when you can say, I've done the best
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:I could and so I don't have to shrink
away or shirk away from doing something,
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:trying things, trying new things.
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:This applies certainly to kids in sports.
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:If I can't be the best at something,
I can't go up for the team.
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:If I'm not the best singer, I
don't want to be in the choir.
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:All of these things we need to model
for our kids that we do the best we can.
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:As unto the Lord, we
are seeking excellence.
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:But we don't need to seek perfection.
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:Perfection comes through the Lord and
He's already made us perfect in His eyes.
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:So what we're working on
we're not working on that.
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:He's working on that in us until
the day that we're glorified.
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:But, just to be able to release
that whole notion of perfection.
342
:I think the whole Supermom movement
started that and then people
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:felt like, no, I can do this.
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:I can have.
345
:Kids, I can work a full time job and I
can do all these things and ultimately
346
:something is going to give research shows
that the thing that usually gives first
347
:is sensitivity and tenderness because
we're just so overwrought, overwhelmed and
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:Jen: It's true.
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:Stephanie: Yes.
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:Betsy: And then what does that mean?
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:That means it takes a toll on
marriage and relationships,
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:especially within our families.
353
:Stephanie: That's
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:Jen: true.
355
:very true.
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:I think there's such wisdom
in ordering our days.
357
:through the lens of the Holy
Spirit and the Lord is in control
358
:ultimately of all of these things.
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:Whenever we're going through our schedule
and planning things out, I'm constantly
360
:asking the Lord, is this of you?
361
:Is this what you would have for us?
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:Is this a wise use of our time?
363
:We want to steward our times and we're
not striving for perfection to attain
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:the Joneses, but we are wanting to.
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:Allow our families and our children
to grow up well and experience the fun
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:things of baseball and to experience
those things, but it takes such wisdom
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:and discernment and ordering a day well,
because that's what Your calendar can
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:definitely be filled with things that
maybe the Lord isn't calling you to.
369
:I'm reminded of a book that I read called
Growing in Gratitude by Mary Moeller.
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:It's Al Moeller's wife.
371
:And she said, if we love people
well and have the power to help,
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:then we are going to be busy.
373
:Jesus was busy, but always made
time for prayer as his priority.
374
:Learning to pray I want to start with a
dialogue that really is critical I think
375
:that this word does not us a less busy
life, but it offers us a less busy heart.
376
:And so I think so often, if we can stop
and make sure that our day is ordered
377
:well enough, as we spoke in the other
podcast about time alone with the Lord,
378
:if we can order our day well enough
that we have the time in the Lord,
379
:that we've submitted our heart and our
life to him and we've had that time.
380
:Then we know that yes, we may be
busy, but our hearts are not busy.
381
:And isn't that what matters more?
382
:Scheduling our hearts so that our
heart are scheduling our time so
383
:that our hearts don't feel so busy.
384
:Our bodies might be busy leaving
the house five times in a
385
:day,
386
:but if my heart is right with the Lord
and I'm communing with him and I'm
387
:abiding in him, then I can handle those
things with joy, with grace, with peace.
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:Betsy: The Lord give us,
joy, peace, understanding.
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:We feel the nearness of the
Lord to take us through the day.
390
:And then we also trust that the
number of hours that He's chosen
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:to comprise the day is enough.
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:And that everything that we need
to do in that day and we, we do
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:our best, and if it's not done, my
husband though, I'm gonna admit,
394
:says I have a terrible economy of
395
:because
396
:because I always think something will
take two hours and it takes five hours.
397
:Now maybe that's because I'm Overdoing
it and being more thorough because
398
:that's my, temperament in certain
things, but but those would be the
399
:things I enjoy and I really delight in.
400
:But by the end of the day, when
I lay my head on the pillow, I'm
401
:like, I have done all I could.
402
:Thank you for this day and
all I have to do now is sleep.
403
:And that, I love it.
404
:Because I used to, when I was younger,
think, now I should have done this.
405
:And tomorrow, first
thing, I'm gonna do this.
406
:And I would get not letting my mind rest.
407
:But now.
408
:I think I've done all I could.
409
:Thank you for you allowing me all
that I was able to do, and it's
410
:really not all about tasks, is
But I happen to be a task person.
411
:And all that, I was able to see
and experience and who I was able
412
:to be with, all those things.
413
:And now I'm Just give me your rest.
414
:And the Lord says he gives to
his beloved sleep in Psalm 1 27.
415
:Stephanie: love that.
416
:Betsy: sleep for a purpose.
417
:Stephanie: As I was reading back
through the Bible again this year,
418
:some verses really stood out to me.
419
:2 and 3 says, And on the seventh day,
God finished his work that he had
420
:done, and he rested on the seventh day
from all his work that he had done.
421
:So God blessed the seventh day and
made it holy, because on it God rested
422
:from all his work that he had done.
423
:3 times in 2
424
:It says that he had done and
that he finished his work.
425
:And I thought, Lord, let me
know when the work is finished.
426
:Because as a mother, I
feel it's never really
427
:Everything is being done and undone and
428
:repeated.
429
:And I, probably my Achilles heel
in life is I'm very idealistic and
430
:I can look at almost anything and
think how it could be improved.
431
:And it is maybe a great thing about
me, but it's also a hard thing because
432
:I don't always know when to stop.
433
:And I thought, Lord, give me that wisdom
about when you would have me rest.
434
:And so often it feels but there's
so much left to do on the list,
435
:but it's my list and not his list.
436
:And even sometimes they're good things,
really praying about what are the best
437
:things and I think for each of us, our
husbands are a good check for that, right?
438
:That we get very wrapped up in the,
we want to make the most of the
439
:time and we want to be, honoring
the Lord and all these things.
440
:And I remember once, it's just a silly
example that sticks with me, but I was
441
:like, Travis, what if we take all the
kids mattresses and we put them here and
442
:we do this and well, and I was thinking
how we could make this really fun.
443
:I can't even remember
what occasion it was.
444
:And my husband said and
he's like a master of rest.
445
:It's going down, so it's a
good little balance for me.
446
:But he said we could.
447
:But then What would make
the other moment special?
448
:I have this desire to make so many things
special, make every day count and But
449
:he's what's going to make it stand
out when we do that on Christmas Eve?
450
:And what's going to make
those moments set apart?
451
:You can't make every
day so special, Steph.
452
:And I was like, you're right.
453
:Thank you.
454
:Let's leave the mattresses where they
455
:are.
456
:Betsy: are.
457
:There's a further implication of
what we were saying about rest.
458
:In Hebrews 4, Jesus talks
about entering His rest.
459
:And we know that's eternal rest.
460
:And He says some people have had the
good news preached to them, just as they
461
:also, but the word they heard did not.
462
:Prophet them because it was not
united by faith in those who heard.
463
:For we who have believed enter that
rest just as he has said, I swore in
464
:my wrath, they shall not enter my rest.
465
:So we understand that
466
:being
467
:rescued by Jesus in salvation gives us
the privilege of entering into that rest,
468
:but not just in eternity, but also in our
hearts now where we can go through our
469
:days and not feel completely overwhelmed.
470
:And I think some of that comes with
growth and experience where you
471
:realize, and I hope young women realize,
but I think it was pressured on my
472
:generation, you have to do everything.
473
:Those first years of marriage,
that second 20 years of life
474
:that you have to be doing it all.
475
:And where now we want to give women the
perspective, no there's maybe four bands
476
:of life that you have, and you can seek
to do those other things after that.
477
:second band, and I hope I'm making that
clear, if there's four bands, 20 years
478
:each, that second band doesn't have to
be so overcrowded with everything that
479
:the world wants to put on you to do.
480
:And when your children are grown
after that second band, then you
481
:still have so much more opportunity.
482
:But, I feel that when you come
to that point, you realize, I
483
:have entered the rest of the
Lord in this day, in this moment.
484
:And so I don't fear.
485
:I don't stress.
486
:Okay, I didn't get that thing done.
487
:The Lord knows that.
488
:He can add hours to my day tomorrow,
which is not literally adding hours,
489
:but you know what, sometimes when
you do something and I think it was
490
:going to take me five hours and it
takes me one hour, I feel like Lord.
491
:You added hours to my day and he
does do that But I think we really
492
:do need to through salvation The lord
says I am providing you a glimpse
493
:of heaven By understanding the rest
that you can have in your heart
494
:here on earth and That is such a
precious thought to me from hebrews 4
495
:Jen: I totally agree with that.
496
:And I think that when we enter into our
week as we're ordering our days and we're
497
:scheduling, if we enter into as rest
and have a peace that I often will pray
498
:Lord, order my day, reorder my heart,
bless the work of my hands because if
499
:this is what you are calling me to
physically and earthly, I look at my
500
:schedule and I'm like not sure how this
is all going to done, but there are so
501
:many times I agree with you, Betsy, where
I think this is not going to go well.
502
:I don't know how I'm, how he's
called me to these things.
503
:I fully believe this is
what he wants me to do.
504
:I don't know how it's going to get done.
505
:And lo and behold, in a way that only he
can, he It blesses the works of my hands
506
:and makes it go so much smoother than I
could do it in striving in my own effort.
507
:Betsy: And
508
:it can even be something as
simple, this will be just a little
509
:practical thing, as simple as having
to make a difficult phone call.
510
:You know you've been putting off making
the phone call to the electric company to
511
:say something or other, and to straighten
out a billing thing or whatever it is,
512
:It's been ongoing for a few months and you
can just pray, Lord give me grace to speak
513
:graciously to these people and then watch
how the Lord guards your heart and mind
514
:to solve the issue very kindly and gently.
515
:And I feel that we often just
push ahead to get something done
516
:without acknowledging the Lord.
517
:It says in Proverbs, acknowledge
him in all your ways.
518
:and he will make your path straight,
but also it orders your day.
519
:I'd like to add one more Verse here.
520
:That's one of my husband's favorite from
Lamentations 2 23 and 24 Which says the
521
:Lord's loving kindnesses indeed never
cease for his compassions never fail
522
:They are new every morning Great is thy
faithfulness So every morning when you get
523
:up, This is the legacy that my husband's
father left to him Is david every
524
:morning when you get up and you put your
feet on the floor This is a new day to
525
:glorify the lord and if you had a bad day
yesterday That's gone This is a new day.
526
:This is the lord's loving kindnesses
are new every morning So bask in that Go
527
:forward and have a great day So sometimes,
if you're feeling that way, that yesterday
528
:was a bad day get out Lamentations 3, 22
and 23 and read that and take it to heart.
529
:Jen: That's
530
:a good word.
531
:I love that.
532
:Stephanie: I
533
:think it points us to the
perfection of our Heavenly Father.
534
:Amen.
535
:Sometimes I can have this day where
you're like, ah, thank you, Lord.
536
:Thank you so much.
537
:Like you were saying, Jen, you
helped me accomplish so much.
538
:Thank you.
539
:And then the next day it feels
like I couldn't get anything done.
540
:Like I can't have back
to back super mom days,
541
:Jen: nope.
542
:Stephanie: and it just realizing, but
Lord, you, every day you are fully
543
:faithful and your character shines.
544
:So much.
545
:So I will rest in your faithfulness
to my children, to my family and often
546
:for me I find that it reaches the end
of the day and there are things that I
547
:didn't get crossed off and you realize
If I've rightly ordered the day, those
548
:are the things that didn't matter
549
:to
550
:Jen: you
551
:Stephanie: Those were on my
list, but those were the things.
552
:And it happened as I was
packing for this trip.
553
:I have to get this done.
554
:I have to get this done.
555
:I have to get this done.
556
:And then realizing, okay, no, actually
we're about to load up the car.
557
:You weren't going to get that done.
558
:And, realizing, thank you God for
providing clarity those were the things
559
:that didn't matter as much in realizing.
560
:It's okay.
561
:Jen: I had that this week.
562
:I felt like I had a list in my head.
563
:But I had this week so much that
there were things that I wanted to
564
:get done that have been on my list
in the back of my head of things
565
:that I wanted to do for a long time.
566
:And I woke up one morning with thinking,
this is the day that I can get them done.
567
:I, my schedule is clear.
568
:And thing after thing kept coming
up and I was getting so overwhelmed
569
:in my spirit and a heavy heart.
570
:I was getting bitter and
angry because I was annoyed.
571
:This was my day to accomplish and
now it's not and all these things.
572
:And I really, I just cried out to
the Lord and was like, Lord, help me.
573
:I don't know how I'm going
to get these things done.
574
:This was the day I had.
575
:And now this is all happening.
576
:I need your help.
577
:And
578
:MIC3: I,
579
:Jen: I was driving to another appointment
and Olivia was in the car with me and I
580
:just said, I just need to pray a minute.
581
:And out loud in front of her, I was like,
Lord, you have called me to these things.
582
:But I don't know how you are going
to help me accomplish these other
583
:things that clearly need to be done.
584
:I need your help.
585
:I was like, okay, thank you, Lord.
586
:And we moved on.
587
:That whole rest of the day went horribly.
588
:not go as I would have hoped at all.
589
:But, the next morning, we got up
and Cade, out of his own, Will
590
:and desire came up and said,
mom, I'd like to earn some money.
591
:Do you have any jobs I
could do around the house?
592
:And I thought, huh?
593
:Yeah, actually I do.
594
:So I gave him a job and I paid him
for it and he did a fantastic job.
595
:That little guy at 10 years old
did so much work in one day.
596
:He was so desiring, he's
saving up for a Lego set.
597
:And so he worked his little butt
off helping me out around the day.
598
:And at the end of that day.
599
:I had almost everything on my list.
600
:And I said, Oh Lord, you are so good here.
601
:You sent help from my own 10
year old son and he desired it.
602
:Wasn't me forcing him to do it.
603
:He worked as unto the Lord.
604
:And I believe with all my heart
that the Lord blessed his decision.
605
:of his hands because
he did a fantastic job.
606
:And I just said to him, look, I was
stressing yesterday, wondering how
607
:the Lord was going to send me help.
608
:And he sent it through my own son.
609
:You blessed me.
610
:You blessed the whole family.
611
:It was amazing.
612
:He worked so hard.
613
:And so there's times where we think
we will never get these things done.
614
:And we're limiting the Lord.
615
:We're using our earthly eyes.
616
:Stephanie: Yes.
617
:And the fact that He doesn't
always do it through us.
618
:Jen: No, he doesn't.
619
:Stephanie: It's because it's not about us.
620
:Jen: No.
621
:Stephanie: it's about his will and his
glory and him being the hero of the story.
622
:And so it's embracing those moments
of humility and you're right.
623
:I can't do it.
624
:And yet I feel you pleased in my desire
to honor my day rightly before you.
625
:I Psalm 90 verse 12, when it says,
so teach us to number our days
626
:that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
627
:And that makes so much sense with what
you were saying, Betsy, about the bands.
628
:And sometimes my friends and I will
talk about Someday we'll sit on a
629
:porch and sip lemonade together.
630
:Someday!
631
:Or, I think about the hobbies I want
to do and, Oh, it was another month
632
:where I didn't get to paint watercolors.
633
:I just want to do that so
badly, but there'll be a season.
634
:There'll be a day where I
can delve into those things.
635
:And this is a season of being
really present with my kids.
636
:Don't misunderstand me.
637
:I do think we need to take time to develop
friendships, to develop even hobbies and
638
:model for our kids, what it looks like to
be, A full person but that you realize.
639
:Yep.
640
:I'm trying to do it all
641
:in this
642
:Betsy: priorities.
643
:We make priorities.
644
:We talk about that in Entrusted.
645
:So what are your priorities for this
season of life, this band as we call it?
646
:Jen: Yeah.
647
:I think that's so helpful.
648
:The band.
649
:That is such a good perspective and
mindset of how to look at it because we
650
:think, Oh, if I'm not doing this on a
weekly basis, if I'm not doing this on a
651
:monthly basis, like I'm going to miss out.
652
:But really.
653
:Like God is outside of time.
654
:We don't have just, this
little tiny portion.
655
:We trick ourselves into thinking that
we do, but I think of grandma Moses
656
:who was an artist and didn't take it up
until she was in her, what, eighties or
657
:seventies,
658
:She didn't do any of it.
659
:And then when she was a
grandma, she started painting
660
:and painting fantastically.
661
:So we put so much pressure on ourselves
to get it done within this timeframe.
662
:And the Lord is
663
:It'll
664
:be okay.
665
:I've given you these wonderful desires,
and you'll have time for that, but not
666
:now.
667
:Betsy: but not now.
668
:David's grandmother started crocheting
when she was like 70, and she ended
669
:up crocheting her daughter's wedding
dress, but not with yarn, with thread.
670
:was unbelievable.
671
:Jen: you have a picture of that?
672
:Betsy: I don't.
673
:I wish I
674
:Jen: I wish you did too.
675
:Betsy: I know, but isn't that
676
:Jen: something?
677
:That is amazing.
678
:Stephanie: That's
679
:Betsy: There's so much time
in life and it goes fast.
680
:I'm going to say it because I'm getting
there, but You just don't have to feel
681
:that overwhelming pressure that you
to be doing everything now and we were
682
:talking earlier We also don't have to
think that The Lord is more pleased
683
:with us the more that we do Because
we are His workmanship for good work.
684
:So as it says in Ephesians 2 10 We
are doing these things out of the
685
:love for the Lord not because it wins
his favor with us We have already
686
:We see that through salvation.
687
:There's nothing we could do.
688
:We didn't earn salvation by works.
689
:It was entirely his work and just
out of love for him, we follow his
690
:word and obey his word, serve others.
691
:Jen: And isn't that just.
692
:So wonderful that he's given us this
work, which Not that every work is a joy,
693
:but there can be such joy in the work.
694
:There's so much joy that could be had.
695
:And he didn't have to create us that
way, but he allowed us to do these
696
:works because even in the doing them,
it increases our love for him more.
697
:And it gives us a way of presenting
something that is beautiful.
698
:That.
699
:grows us in the work.
700
:We're growing in the work and
we're not earning our salvation.
701
:We're not earning his
favor, but we're growing.
702
:We're being sanctified in the work.
703
:Betsy: He gave man work to
do even before the fall.
704
:So work is something that
God designed for us to do.
705
:And, it's harder now.
706
:He said it's been works been cursed.
707
:It's harder now But there can be such
a great feeling of accomplishment
708
:and work and even for our kids
and kids shouldn't you know?
709
:Miss out on that just a few verses
further in Lamentations 3 where
710
:we were just talking a moment ago.
711
:It says in verse 27.
712
:It is good for a man to
bear the yoke in his youth.
713
:And give kids chores that stretch them
physically, mentally, emotionally,
714
:artistically, creatively, whatever
it is so that they're stretched.
715
:And when they're done, like your son,
your 10 year old son, I'm sure felt that
716
:was, that felt like a good accomplishment.
717
:I worked hard
718
:Jen: He
719
:said to himself, Mom,
that was so rewarding.
720
:Betsy: Yes.
721
:Jen: He's yes, it is.
722
:Keep doing it.
723
:No, I'm
724
:Betsy: And they'll learn to receive
the award of the reward of the Lord.
725
:Well done, good and faithful servant.
726
:I do this as unto the Lord.
727
:That's the, but not always.
728
:It's sometimes, all of us.
729
:Receive something for a job well done.
730
:But not always.
731
:Not always.
732
:We're looking to the Lord.
733
:Stephanie: I learned recently, maybe I've
heard it before, but I heard it again in
734
:a sermon that when the Lord before the
fall says, fill the earth and multiply
735
:and subdue the earth, that subdue word
is where the word chaos comes from.
736
:And so the pastor said, we are
to take the peace in the garden.
737
:And spread it.
738
:We are supposed to fill the earth with
this peace and I think that's so neat
739
:to think about even the gospel, it
starts in our home, we're discipling
740
:our children, we're creating peace
in our home and then we're spreading
741
:that out and sharing it with others.
742
:But it also relates to order
743
:MIC2: god knew that the
world would need subduing.
744
:Because he knew that the fall was coming.
745
:Okay.
746
:Satan brought the chaos.
747
:Jen: Yeah.
748
:Stephanie: what are some other
scriptures that come to mind when you
749
:think of ordering our lives rightly
750
:Betsy: Psalm 118.
751
:24 that says, and we hear this
verse a lot, but when we just take
752
:a moment to really let it sink in.
753
:This is a day that the Lord has made.
754
:Let us rejoice and be glad in
755
:it.
756
:Stephanie: That's great.
757
:Yes.
758
:Jen: Psalm 16.
759
:9 that says, The heart of man plans his
way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
760
:I sometimes think of it as the Lord
being like, Yes, you may plan that.
761
:I'm going to be the one that establishes
and these things work and makes it go
762
:the way that I really want it to go.
763
:And I'm so thankful for that.
764
:I don't really want to
be planning my own way.
765
:Psalm 16, three says, commit
your work to the Lord and your
766
:plans will be established.
767
:if I'm committing it to the
Lord, Then my heart is asking
768
:for his will to be done in it.
769
:And he establishes that.
770
:That doesn't mean that the
Lord does what we want.
771
:It means when we commit it to
him, we're submitting it to
772
:Betsy: him Yes,
773
:Jen: this Lord is yours.
774
:You do the growing, unless the Lord
builds a house, we labor in vain who build
775
:it.
776
:Betsy: We relinquish control of
777
:Jen: Yes.
778
:In
779
:Stephanie: In Proverbs 6, 6 through 8,
it says, Go to the aunt, O sluggard,
780
:consider her ways and be wise.
781
:Without having any chief, officer,
or ruler, she prepares her bread in
782
:summer and gathers her food in harvest.
783
:And that when we are mature in
the Lord, we do it unto him.
784
:And we don't need a manager.
785
:The external motivator
doesn't need to be there.
786
:It's an internal motivation
that we're serving the Lord.
787
:This ordering of our days or the hard
work, it becomes easier and more natural.
788
:And I think we're more faithful
as we walk in the spirit.
789
:Betsy: I think that's the overall point
that we're making here in this first part,
790
:is that we wanna be internally ordered.
791
:And if we want to have any external order,
we have to first be internally ordered in
792
:communion with the Lord and gratitude for
what He's done, thankfulness, and knowing
793
:that if I don't get this done, it's okay.
794
:Lord, you are with me
and you know these things
795
:and
796
:it's just a really freeing feeling.
797
:Jen: It's freeing and it produces joy.
798
:produces joy because we know we can't,
ultimately we can't mess this up.
799
:The Lord is sovereign and he's kindly
allowing us to take part in these
800
:things, but he is the master artist,
and he is allowing all of our little
801
:childish drawings to come into something
beautiful that he is planning and doing.
802
:And he does the work.
803
:He does these things, but we
get the joy of participating.
804
:One of my favorite verses for when Things
don't go my way or when the order turns to
805
:chaos because of the children or my home,
because as Betsy had mentioned, if I lived
806
:alone, everything would be very orderly,
tidy with no no piles of paperwork.
807
:No But my favorite verses, Proverbs 14,
four says where there are no oxen, the
808
:manger is clean, but abundant strength
comes from the crops of the oxen.
809
:And if I had no children, my house would
be clean, but strength comes from that.
810
:And productivity requires investment when
you, if you were a farmer and you wanted
811
:to be productive, you needed to invest
into the oxen to have that, to bring
812
:the strength and to bring that in there.
813
:And so with that, that requires
the feeding and the cleanup of the
814
:oxen and an investment in that.
815
:And so we need to invest in that.
816
:In the labor.
817
:We need to invest in those
resources and doing that.
818
:But guess what?
819
:Theen are part of the mess.
820
:They can clean the mess up.
821
:These children of ours, we, it doesn't
rely on just us to clean this up.
822
:I often say that I am not the
only one that made this mess.
823
:Let's work together, and doing
the work of the household.
824
:Betsy: And I think we can add one more
thought from Matthew 6 27 we're familiar
825
:with this one too starting with 26
actually look at the birds of the air They
826
:do not sow nor reap nor gather into barns
and yet your heavenly father feeds them
827
:That may be where somebody is right now.
828
:They feel the pressure to have
to work They feel they do have to
829
:do so many things in this world
while their children are at home.
830
:But know that the Lord is still watching
over you, and He is feeding you.
831
:And are you not worth much more than they?
832
:And who of you by being worried
can add a single hour to his life?
833
:And why are you worried about clothing?
834
:Observe the lilies of the
field and how they grow.
835
:Do they not, they do not
toil, nor do they spin.
836
:Yet I say to you that not even
Solomon in all his glory Clothed
837
:himself, like one of these.
838
:But if God so clothes the grass of
the field, which is alive today and
839
:tomorrow is thrown into the furnace,
will he not much more clothe you?
840
:You of little faith do not worry, then
saying, What will we eat, or what will we
841
:drink, or what will we wear for clothing?
842
:For the Gentiles eagerly
seek all these things.
843
:For your Heavenly Father knows
that you need all these things,
844
:but seek first His kingdom.
845
:And his righteousness and all
these things will be added to you.
846
:So don't worry about tomorrow.
847
:For tomorrow will take care of itself.
848
:Each day has enough trouble of its own.
849
:I know
850
:Stephanie: I was sharing the other
day those are some of my memorial
851
:verses that every time I get anxious
about my body, about my children's
852
:bodies, about our provision, the
Lord brings you back to that.
853
:And you're like done.
854
:Got it.
855
:It's such a reset for my mind.
856
:I think
857
:Betsy: Awesome thought that
we use scripture when we
858
:feel ourselves getting out of
859
:Jen: Yes.
860
:we
861
:Betsy: we feel ourselves getting
that anxious mindset and stuff you
862
:just shared that those were yours.
863
:I know at certain points of my life
when I felt like that anxiety coming
864
:over me, I will say scripture and I
know the one that I, Say the most and
865
:I won't be able to say it right now
But 7 be anxious for nothing But in all
866
:things by prayer with supplication and
thanksgiving Let your requests be made
867
:known to God and the peace of God which
surpasses all understanding Shall guard
868
:your hearts in minds in Christ Jesus.
869
:Jen: love
870
:Betsy: I
871
:Love that so much because it says
your hearts Your thoughts and
872
:your emotions, I will bring under
my perfect and sovereign peace.
873
:And so that the peace of God,
which surpasses all comprehension.
874
:She'll guard your hearts and minds.
875
:That is, that's my verse for that moment.
876
:Do you have
877
:Jen: I do.
878
:It's take every thought captive
and make it obedient unto Christ.
879
:And so we are not to allow our thoughts
and our minds to constantly be going.
880
:And as we're thinking of our schedule,
thinking of our day, thinking of what
881
:they're going to eat, what they're
going to wear, all the different
882
:things, we need to take our thoughts
captive because they're coming at us.
883
:They're coming
884
:Betsy: at
885
:Jen: but we take that captive.
886
:And we make them obedient unto Christ.
887
:They're not going to naturally
be obedient to Christ.
888
:And so whenever I'm feeling that nope,
I'm going to take that thought captive,
889
:even when it pertains to forgiveness,
when it pertains to bitterness, to
890
:any of those emotions, those feelings
that come in, the thoughts that
891
:come in that are sinful thoughts,
no, I'm going to take that captive.
892
:Betsy: Love that.
893
:What is the reference for that
894
:verse?
895
:Jen: Second
896
:Corinthians five.
897
:We destroy arguments and every lofty
opinion raised against the knowledge
898
:of God and take every thought captive
to obey Christ, being ready to
899
:punish every disobedience when your
obedience is complete, is what it says.
900
:Stephanie: says.
901
:Betsy: Great.
902
:I love how the Lord his word in different
ways and to each of us that we would
903
:not having ever discussed this before
have our own verse anxious moments.
904
:Stephanie: We know you're busy,
Mama, so we are truly grateful you
905
:joined us for this episode of Again.
906
:If you're looking for more information
about building your home on the
907
:foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.
908
:EntrustedMinistries.
909
:com to learn more about our study for
moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.
910
:This scripture saturated study
has blessed families around the
911
:world, and we want it for you, too.
912
:Before you go, I want to pray
this benediction over you
913
:from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.
914
:We're rooting for you.
915
:To this end, we always pray for you,
that our God may make you worthy of His
916
:calling, and may fulfill every resolve
for good and every work of faith by
917
:His power, so that the name of our Lord
Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in
918
:Him, according to the grace of our God.
919
:And the Lord Jesus Christ.
920
:Amen.
921
:Until we meet again.