Episode 42

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Published on:

12th Jun 2024

#42. Ordering Our Days: Part 1 (There's a Reason You Feel Overwhelmed)

Betsy, Jen, and Steph are back in person and excited to give all their best tips to help Christian moms order their days, weeks, and months! BUT FIRST, they're making sure our hearts are right. Instead of embracing routines, they point us to embrace a Savior. Rather than running to quick-fixes, they remind us to put on a posture of peace that only comes from a heart surrendered to Christ. They also seek to remove the shame we can feel from not knowing how to create systems for our lives. So many of us feel overwhelmed, but how did we get here?

Scriptures Referenced:

John 10:10

Psalm 127:2

Genesis 2:2-3

Hebrews 4:1-7

Lamentations 3:22-23, 27

Psalm 118:24

Psalm 16:3, 9

Proverbs 14:4

Psalm 90:12

Ephesians 2:10

Matthew 6:25-34

2 Corinthians 10:5

Proverbs 6:6-8

Philippians 4:6-7

Book Recommendation:

Growing In Gratitude By Mary Mohler


Transcript
Speaker:

They're the joyful agains our children

shout on the swings, the exhausting

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agains of cooking and laundry, and

the difficult agains of discipline.

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So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

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So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

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to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

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We believe God's Word is

the key to untangle from the

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confusion and overwhelm we feel.

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Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

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Stephanie: Today, I am in person

with Aunt Betsy and Jen, and we

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are so excited to be together.

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It's been almost a year, we are

recording in Tennessee today, and

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we wanted to talk about scheduling.

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and planning out our days, our

weeks, our months, and really

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setting intention for our lives.

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We notice that there is A commonality with

moms today of feeling very overwhelmed

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and we want to practically help with that,

but first we want to remove some of the

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shame of that and point to some cultural

movements that may have led to this.

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It's easy to maybe wallow in it.

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And we have a culture right now

that's embracing hot mess motherhood

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and letting us sit there, but that's

not what the Lord would have for us.

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Jen, what do you think has contributed

to this feeling of overwhelm and feeling

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not equipped to really order our days?

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Jen: Yeah, I think there are definitely

a number of things that have played into

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this, but one of them is, That we as this

generation of Stephanie and my generation,

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I don't feel like we were equipped.

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We were not in school taught home ec.

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We were not in school taught how to

run your household, how to handle

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finances, how to handle meals

and cleaning and all the things.

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Unless we had a stay at home mom.

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I actually had a stay at home mom

and who was fantastic at all of

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these, but she swung the opposite.

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because her mom worked and she did

all of these for us because she didn't

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want us to have to do them ourselves.

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So there wasn't as much

teaching of how to do it.

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She just did it for us.

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But she had taken home back in

school and so she had learned

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some of these from that.

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But we see in Instagram and we see in

Pinterest and we see all these things

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done with perfection and so much more.

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Many things.

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Everything has to be homemade

now and everything has to be done

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perfectly and Instagram worthy.

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And so I think that it can lead to

a sense of a deer in headlights.

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Now what

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,

I

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I have to do this and I have to do

it well, but break it down for me.

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What does this actually look

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Stephanie: Yes,

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it's almost paralyzing

the amount of information.

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You might have a problem you're trying

to solve and then you go on and all of a

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sudden, this flood of information makes

you feel like anything you're going to

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do, It might not be good enough, or you

just don't quite know how to solve it,

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or you're seeing all of these different

systems and none of them quite fits

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your life, and then you just scroll

for a while and leave not solving the

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problem, I think is what many moms are

turning to, and we can relate to that.

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Aunt Betsy, you have a better perspective

of what's happened for a longer time.

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I'm older.

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But you've seen, the passing of

generations of what's happened for

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this lack of equipping for mothers

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Betsy: I look at my mom and she was

so very talented in hospitality.

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Oh my goodness, she could cook, she could

sew, she could design, she could draw.

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Very creative person.

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And, really instilled a lot of those

things into us, except I never learned

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how to sew a lick, and I wish I did.

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Because she could even sew purses

and hats and complete matching

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suits and extraordinary things.

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She designed shop windows when she was in

college at the finest department stores.

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And I just really marveled

at her ability and she really

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encouraged us in a lot of things.

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Honestly, I never took home ec myself.

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I took all the sciences.

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I was very interested in that area of

study so but we bought a restaurant

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when I think I was 12 years old

and that forced me to Learn how to

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do a lot of some of those skills.

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So I don't necessarily think that it's

You know, necessarily your home situation,

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except to say that the things that were

happening, the movements of the time,

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when I went to high school and college,

there was a lot of pressure on women,

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young women my age, and then of course Our

mothers to go back to work and we hear the

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term latchkey kids that came out because

there was a backlash Against mothers

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going to work because what was happening

with their children For the times, three

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to five And honestly this research has

shown that's the time Most teenagers get

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pregnant three to five in the afternoon.

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Isn't that interesting?

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Because their parents aren't there.

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Stephanie: Change the phrase, nothing good

happens after midnight or between 3 and 5.

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Betsy: 5.

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Yes.

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Stephanie: It's

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Betsy: funny because when my husband

and I were in college and I share that

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experience of when we had our biggest

sort of knockdown dragout without the

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literal knockdown dragout Fight was or

conflict Was over this sort of thing of

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going back to work or continuing on with

school and we made the non negotiable

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at that point To that I would always

be home with my kids no matter what I

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did in my life I would be home with my

kids when they went to school I would

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be home with them when they came home

from school and then I would order my

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day around that and that never changed.

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We, we kept that and that's why

we call it a non negotiable.

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We make non negotiables every, year or

so, but that's one of those steady ones

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that has always existed until obviously

my kids moved out, out of the house.

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But I would say this whole latchkey kid

thing and the pressure on women of that

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day to be assertive To speak their mind,

not let anybody take advantage of them,

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to not be submissive in the home or in the

workplace or anywhere and that the woman

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could do it all and she could be super

mom and she could, bring home the bacon,

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as the commercial said, do you remember?

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Bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan.

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I never let you forget you're a man.

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That, that was a commercial on TV.

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MIC3: Interesting.

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MIC2: and it was a

cigarette commercial of all

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Betsy: things.

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MIC3: What?

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Yes.

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Betsy: Yes,

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which now you're not even allowed to have.

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Jen: yeah,

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Betsy: That was the mentality of

that age and women were, began to

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feel that if they weren't out in the

workplace that they really weren't

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pulling their weight in the home.

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And so of course we know that's

had a major influence on our

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families and on our culture.

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I think back to when Martha Stewart

started doing her Let's Make a Pie and

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you were, we were looking at the cards

in the store that said, A picture of

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a pie on the front of the cart and you

open it up and I don't know what it is

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either, but, happy birthday and I think

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appreciated Martha Stewart, whether

you do or not, for her bringing back

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domesticity to the home and making women

feel like there's value in the home.

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This is fun.

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We can be creative at home.

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We can do all these things for our family.

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And love it.

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Now, she's definitely pretty perfect

at what she does, but don't we know she

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has a lot of people helping her to get

that perfect shot and there's probably

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a lot of takes that aren't so perfect

before they get that perfect shot.

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But I certainly enjoy

doing things at home.

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I really do love it.

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I know that if I have a busy day

and I'm outta the house a lot, if

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I have a day, and this was always

true, if I have a full day at home

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where I don't have to go anywhere.

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That's like my favorite

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Jen: have to

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Betsy: love

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it.

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Yes.

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Jen: I feel a restlessness when I see

that there is so many different things.

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Just the other day we were joking

around, but I had to leave the

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home five times and I'm like, and

they call me a stay at home mom.

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actually

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MIC3: Like I'm actually

leaving at five times today.

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And I, but it just, I don't

like having to live that way.

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And life happens and there are times

where you have to do that, but there

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is something about those days when

you can be home and you can do that.

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you can be together as a family.

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You can do the catching up of the laundry

and the cleaning, and you're not stuck

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to a schedule of having to get there, do

this, accomplish this, accomplish that.

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And you can play a game of skip

o with the kids because you

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don't have to be somewhere.

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But I think that it, it's It

requires a lot of intentionality

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in your scheduling and

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MIC2: I think we have just filled our

minds with so many things to think

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about and sometimes we just need to

step back and just be and get our

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minds and our wits about us and relax.

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And I always thought of my

husband in those early days.

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He's at the office.

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He has to think about this person's

issue and this person's problem outside

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of the family constantly all day.

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But me, I can pull back and I felt I

just thank the Lord that I have this

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freedom to think about the Lord all day.

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And I'm sure that my husband is

too, but you know what I'm saying?

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It's I don't have this flood of

Everything else constantly Bombarding

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my mind and it's in some ways.

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It's a practice.

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It's a choice There's a discipline

of having quiet time, which we've

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talked about in an earlier episode

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MIC3: Yeah, for sure.

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It's interesting, Steph,

what do you think about that?

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Do you feel like you, I'm

wondering about this generation.

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Cause as she's saying freedom to

be able to think about Christ.

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I definitely have those times in my

day where I've, Where I'm doing the

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quiet time and I feel he permeates

my thoughts and it's a constant

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conversation with him throughout the day.

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But I, there are times where I am

like, there is so much coming at me.

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What is going on?

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What do you feel about that?

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Stephanie: I think there's a

different reality to being a

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homeschooling mom where, I've never

sent my children even to preschool.

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So there hasn't been a really any

season of my life that I, Since I've

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had all four of them, I've been there

and I think the reality of that kind

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of compounds almost where you realize,

Oh, like I've never organized a closet

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without also watching four kids.

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I've never painted a room without

also watching four kids or getting up

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in the middle of the night to do it.

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Some of these things compound that.

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It's a different, all of a sudden, I

think for us we're not just talking

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about being a stay at home mom.

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We're talking about being homeschooling

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moms.

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And I do feel that there is a surrender

to the Lord's agenda when we're with

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our children and when we don't have a

work agenda, that's a reality that when

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you believe that the most important

thing that you're doing is, discipling

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your children and then also being.

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a follower of Christ yourself.

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When you really believe that there

is a peace that comes from it of

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just opening your hands to, Lord,

this feels like an interruption.

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This feels like we're, off track from

what I thought today was going to be.

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But I believe that getting to this

child's heart is more important than

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any load of laundry, any meal plan,

any reading lesson, any math lesson.

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And so thank you for that.

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And I find that there is a

piece that comes from that.

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MIC3: Yes.

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Stephanie: But there are times where, and

I, we've talked about that before, right?

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That busyness often robs that,

those discipleship opportunities.

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But I think that there's a distinction

between those and, but And we were talking

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about some recent information, which

we'll talk about in another podcast, but

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so few moms believe that they're doing

something of eternal value in their

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home or that it's regularly meaningful.

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And it is difficult to keep that

focus when you feel that your

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days are consumed by the mundane.

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It's difficult to keep a focus on, no,

this is making a lasting impact for

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Christ and I am seen by the Lord and

he is delighting in my faithfulness.

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I really do think we

need to contend for that.

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What you were saying at Betsy

relates to that so much by the

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culture telling us where our

worth and our identity comes from.

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It's a generational thing.

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It's also such an American thing that

our identity comes from our independence

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and our worth comes from our work.

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Yes.

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And we.

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We need to fight that with everything

in us because our greatest calling

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is to be with the Lord, to sit at

the feet of Jesus, regardless of

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what situations that takes us into

and to be faithful in those areas.

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So I think we did, before we got into

the kind of the nitty gritty of the

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scheduling and everything, we wanted

to make sure that our hearts are right

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and why and making sure that we're

not swinging a pendulum of saying.

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Order, or loosey goosey living, and we

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MIC2: Yeah, It's

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like that chart, that spectrum of order.

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We don't want to be either extreme,

overly, extremely organized and

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we can't handle any amount of

anything out of place to where we

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just don't care about any of it.

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Yeah.

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And obviously those are both extremes.

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Stephanie: Certainly.

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And there, there has been research even

Stanford did a study about the amount

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of clutter in a home is direct, directly

correlates to a woman's stress level.

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Betsy: Oh, I totally

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Jen: I agree.

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Stephanie: And I think sometimes I

think it's helpful sometimes to even

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realize, Oh, that's a valid thing.

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There's a reason I felt like I had to

organize that before I could sit down

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and really enjoy my time in the Word.

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The, sometimes it can be

distracting or our minds are so

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many places and to have peace.

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And if that affects us, it might be

affecting our husbands and our children.

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And I, so I think let's be intentional.

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Let's be good stewards.

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Let's be careful about what we accumulate

and careful that we maintain order

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because it affects us in so many ways.

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Betsy: and there's times of life where

you have to Just ease up on your order

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Something that might be something

important to you if you lived by yourself

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but you realize from that spectrum of

order you want to work more towards

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balance harmony and unity with your

family and so You may have a person

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in your family that doesn't think the

same way, and their temperament's not

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the same, and you need to be balanced

so that everybody in the family feels

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comfortable, feels, but not, if they're

way on the other side of the spectrum,

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they need to move towards the center too.

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That's an important thing.

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I think of my pantry when I was young.

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when my kids were in high school and they

would have their friends over and they'd

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cook and bake and my pantry would not

be the way that I would love it to be

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but then I just for A few years had to

just say, that's okay with me, whereas

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it's against my natural inclination.

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It's okay.

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There's a little story that I used

to read at the end of Entrusted.

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It's about, imagine having

a lipstick with a point, or,

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not having sloppy oatmeal kisses or

somebody's handprint here or there.

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You'll miss those little

things that your kids did.

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I think you were telling me about

a handprint that was in the paint

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of your house and you just cherish

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it.

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Stephanie: Yes.

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On the front door, we had,

I painted the inside and.

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It was still curing and one of the

kids you can just see a handprint

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there and it's little and sweet

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Betsy: and you know those

imperfections I feel like those are

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the thumbprints on your home literally

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But,

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but some of those things are so special

we always say when they get that first

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little ding on your car oh okay whatever

then you don't maybe value it so much you

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don't worry about it so much you don't it

doesn't have so much you Control, you know

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where you have to keep everything perfect.

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Stephanie: I have found, sometimes,

you look for sources of wisdom on

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some of these areas and If we don't

stay rooted in Christ, then all of a

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sudden it becomes about the system.

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It becomes about the order.

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We lose the hearts of our children.

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And we're, I just think that

there's such a danger in that.

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And I personally, I saw there's

a very influential person that

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she is in decluttering and

maintaining order in your home.

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Initially, I had found her

years ago and her whole.

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The whole idea was based on John

10, 10 I have come that, you might

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have life and have it abundantly.

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and she was drowning as a mother of

toddlers and the Lord said this is

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not the life I have for you, I want

freedom and abundance of joy for you.

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And so she, just the Lord gave her tips

on how do I bring order in my home?

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And so I listened to her kind of for a

season and I felt Oh, this is so helpful.

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And then I and then the Lord called me

to an information diet, which I think I

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should talk about in another Podcast but

really just, okay, you've consumed enough.

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Now you need to stop spending time finding

out solutions and just put them in action.

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And so I stopped listening to her.

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Then a couple of years later, Recently,

I went back and I thought, Oh, I have

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a couple of questions about this.

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I want to say, hear what she says about

this as my kids are getting older.

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And I was shocked.

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Her podcast is now explicit.

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She's divorced.

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And you could see how she went very

new agey with it, and Speaking to

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moms about speaking affirmation to

yourselves and you could see how her

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platform and her premise is still very

much about bringing order to the home,

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but she has lost her focus on Christ and

it looks like her life is unraveling.

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I don't see peace when I look at her.

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And so before we say these practical

things, we just really want to make

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sure that our hearts are right and

that we never forget that we're doing

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this because our God is a God of order.

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We're not doing this to

make ourselves elevated.

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It's really about honoring the peace that

comes from order and that peace that the

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Lord has established to be prevalent in

our homes, in the church, in our families.

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Betsy: I think we want to make the

point that we're not seeking perfection.

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We're not seeking perfection.

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And there's so much freedom in that

when you can say, I've done the best

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I could and so I don't have to shrink

away or shirk away from doing something,

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trying things, trying new things.

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This applies certainly to kids in sports.

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If I can't be the best at something,

I can't go up for the team.

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If I'm not the best singer, I

don't want to be in the choir.

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All of these things we need to model

for our kids that we do the best we can.

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As unto the Lord, we

are seeking excellence.

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But we don't need to seek perfection.

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Perfection comes through the Lord and

He's already made us perfect in His eyes.

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So what we're working on

we're not working on that.

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He's working on that in us until

the day that we're glorified.

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But, just to be able to release

that whole notion of perfection.

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I think the whole Supermom movement

started that and then people

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felt like, no, I can do this.

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I can have.

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Kids, I can work a full time job and I

can do all these things and ultimately

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something is going to give research shows

that the thing that usually gives first

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is sensitivity and tenderness because

we're just so overwrought, overwhelmed and

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Jen: It's true.

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Stephanie: Yes.

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Betsy: And then what does that mean?

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That means it takes a toll on

marriage and relationships,

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especially within our families.

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Stephanie: That's

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Jen: true.

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very true.

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I think there's such wisdom

in ordering our days.

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through the lens of the Holy

Spirit and the Lord is in control

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ultimately of all of these things.

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Whenever we're going through our schedule

and planning things out, I'm constantly

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asking the Lord, is this of you?

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Is this what you would have for us?

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Is this a wise use of our time?

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We want to steward our times and we're

not striving for perfection to attain

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the Joneses, but we are wanting to.

365

:

Allow our families and our children

to grow up well and experience the fun

366

:

things of baseball and to experience

those things, but it takes such wisdom

367

:

and discernment and ordering a day well,

because that's what Your calendar can

368

:

definitely be filled with things that

maybe the Lord isn't calling you to.

369

:

I'm reminded of a book that I read called

Growing in Gratitude by Mary Moeller.

370

:

It's Al Moeller's wife.

371

:

And she said, if we love people

well and have the power to help,

372

:

then we are going to be busy.

373

:

Jesus was busy, but always made

time for prayer as his priority.

374

:

Learning to pray I want to start with a

dialogue that really is critical I think

375

:

that this word does not us a less busy

life, but it offers us a less busy heart.

376

:

And so I think so often, if we can stop

and make sure that our day is ordered

377

:

well enough, as we spoke in the other

podcast about time alone with the Lord,

378

:

if we can order our day well enough

that we have the time in the Lord,

379

:

that we've submitted our heart and our

life to him and we've had that time.

380

:

Then we know that yes, we may be

busy, but our hearts are not busy.

381

:

And isn't that what matters more?

382

:

Scheduling our hearts so that our

heart are scheduling our time so

383

:

that our hearts don't feel so busy.

384

:

Our bodies might be busy leaving

the house five times in a

385

:

day,

386

:

but if my heart is right with the Lord

and I'm communing with him and I'm

387

:

abiding in him, then I can handle those

things with joy, with grace, with peace.

388

:

Betsy: The Lord give us,

joy, peace, understanding.

389

:

We feel the nearness of the

Lord to take us through the day.

390

:

And then we also trust that the

number of hours that He's chosen

391

:

to comprise the day is enough.

392

:

And that everything that we need

to do in that day and we, we do

393

:

our best, and if it's not done, my

husband though, I'm gonna admit,

394

:

says I have a terrible economy of

395

:

because

396

:

because I always think something will

take two hours and it takes five hours.

397

:

Now maybe that's because I'm Overdoing

it and being more thorough because

398

:

that's my, temperament in certain

things, but but those would be the

399

:

things I enjoy and I really delight in.

400

:

But by the end of the day, when

I lay my head on the pillow, I'm

401

:

like, I have done all I could.

402

:

Thank you for this day and

all I have to do now is sleep.

403

:

And that, I love it.

404

:

Because I used to, when I was younger,

think, now I should have done this.

405

:

And tomorrow, first

thing, I'm gonna do this.

406

:

And I would get not letting my mind rest.

407

:

But now.

408

:

I think I've done all I could.

409

:

Thank you for you allowing me all

that I was able to do, and it's

410

:

really not all about tasks, is

But I happen to be a task person.

411

:

And all that, I was able to see

and experience and who I was able

412

:

to be with, all those things.

413

:

And now I'm Just give me your rest.

414

:

And the Lord says he gives to

his beloved sleep in Psalm 1 27.

415

:

Stephanie: love that.

416

:

Betsy: sleep for a purpose.

417

:

Stephanie: As I was reading back

through the Bible again this year,

418

:

some verses really stood out to me.

419

:

2 and 3 says, And on the seventh day,

God finished his work that he had

420

:

done, and he rested on the seventh day

from all his work that he had done.

421

:

So God blessed the seventh day and

made it holy, because on it God rested

422

:

from all his work that he had done.

423

:

3 times in 2

424

:

It says that he had done and

that he finished his work.

425

:

And I thought, Lord, let me

know when the work is finished.

426

:

Because as a mother, I

feel it's never really

427

:

Everything is being done and undone and

428

:

repeated.

429

:

And I, probably my Achilles heel

in life is I'm very idealistic and

430

:

I can look at almost anything and

think how it could be improved.

431

:

And it is maybe a great thing about

me, but it's also a hard thing because

432

:

I don't always know when to stop.

433

:

And I thought, Lord, give me that wisdom

about when you would have me rest.

434

:

And so often it feels but there's

so much left to do on the list,

435

:

but it's my list and not his list.

436

:

And even sometimes they're good things,

really praying about what are the best

437

:

things and I think for each of us, our

husbands are a good check for that, right?

438

:

That we get very wrapped up in the,

we want to make the most of the

439

:

time and we want to be, honoring

the Lord and all these things.

440

:

And I remember once, it's just a silly

example that sticks with me, but I was

441

:

like, Travis, what if we take all the

kids mattresses and we put them here and

442

:

we do this and well, and I was thinking

how we could make this really fun.

443

:

I can't even remember

what occasion it was.

444

:

And my husband said and

he's like a master of rest.

445

:

It's going down, so it's a

good little balance for me.

446

:

But he said we could.

447

:

But then What would make

the other moment special?

448

:

I have this desire to make so many things

special, make every day count and But

449

:

he's what's going to make it stand

out when we do that on Christmas Eve?

450

:

And what's going to make

those moments set apart?

451

:

You can't make every

day so special, Steph.

452

:

And I was like, you're right.

453

:

Thank you.

454

:

Let's leave the mattresses where they

455

:

are.

456

:

Betsy: are.

457

:

There's a further implication of

what we were saying about rest.

458

:

In Hebrews 4, Jesus talks

about entering His rest.

459

:

And we know that's eternal rest.

460

:

And He says some people have had the

good news preached to them, just as they

461

:

also, but the word they heard did not.

462

:

Prophet them because it was not

united by faith in those who heard.

463

:

For we who have believed enter that

rest just as he has said, I swore in

464

:

my wrath, they shall not enter my rest.

465

:

So we understand that

466

:

being

467

:

rescued by Jesus in salvation gives us

the privilege of entering into that rest,

468

:

but not just in eternity, but also in our

hearts now where we can go through our

469

:

days and not feel completely overwhelmed.

470

:

And I think some of that comes with

growth and experience where you

471

:

realize, and I hope young women realize,

but I think it was pressured on my

472

:

generation, you have to do everything.

473

:

Those first years of marriage,

that second 20 years of life

474

:

that you have to be doing it all.

475

:

And where now we want to give women the

perspective, no there's maybe four bands

476

:

of life that you have, and you can seek

to do those other things after that.

477

:

second band, and I hope I'm making that

clear, if there's four bands, 20 years

478

:

each, that second band doesn't have to

be so overcrowded with everything that

479

:

the world wants to put on you to do.

480

:

And when your children are grown

after that second band, then you

481

:

still have so much more opportunity.

482

:

But, I feel that when you come

to that point, you realize, I

483

:

have entered the rest of the

Lord in this day, in this moment.

484

:

And so I don't fear.

485

:

I don't stress.

486

:

Okay, I didn't get that thing done.

487

:

The Lord knows that.

488

:

He can add hours to my day tomorrow,

which is not literally adding hours,

489

:

but you know what, sometimes when

you do something and I think it was

490

:

going to take me five hours and it

takes me one hour, I feel like Lord.

491

:

You added hours to my day and he

does do that But I think we really

492

:

do need to through salvation The lord

says I am providing you a glimpse

493

:

of heaven By understanding the rest

that you can have in your heart

494

:

here on earth and That is such a

precious thought to me from hebrews 4

495

:

Jen: I totally agree with that.

496

:

And I think that when we enter into our

week as we're ordering our days and we're

497

:

scheduling, if we enter into as rest

and have a peace that I often will pray

498

:

Lord, order my day, reorder my heart,

bless the work of my hands because if

499

:

this is what you are calling me to

physically and earthly, I look at my

500

:

schedule and I'm like not sure how this

is all going to done, but there are so

501

:

many times I agree with you, Betsy, where

I think this is not going to go well.

502

:

I don't know how I'm, how he's

called me to these things.

503

:

I fully believe this is

what he wants me to do.

504

:

I don't know how it's going to get done.

505

:

And lo and behold, in a way that only he

can, he It blesses the works of my hands

506

:

and makes it go so much smoother than I

could do it in striving in my own effort.

507

:

Betsy: And

508

:

it can even be something as

simple, this will be just a little

509

:

practical thing, as simple as having

to make a difficult phone call.

510

:

You know you've been putting off making

the phone call to the electric company to

511

:

say something or other, and to straighten

out a billing thing or whatever it is,

512

:

It's been ongoing for a few months and you

can just pray, Lord give me grace to speak

513

:

graciously to these people and then watch

how the Lord guards your heart and mind

514

:

to solve the issue very kindly and gently.

515

:

And I feel that we often just

push ahead to get something done

516

:

without acknowledging the Lord.

517

:

It says in Proverbs, acknowledge

him in all your ways.

518

:

and he will make your path straight,

but also it orders your day.

519

:

I'd like to add one more Verse here.

520

:

That's one of my husband's favorite from

Lamentations 2 23 and 24 Which says the

521

:

Lord's loving kindnesses indeed never

cease for his compassions never fail

522

:

They are new every morning Great is thy

faithfulness So every morning when you get

523

:

up, This is the legacy that my husband's

father left to him Is david every

524

:

morning when you get up and you put your

feet on the floor This is a new day to

525

:

glorify the lord and if you had a bad day

yesterday That's gone This is a new day.

526

:

This is the lord's loving kindnesses

are new every morning So bask in that Go

527

:

forward and have a great day So sometimes,

if you're feeling that way, that yesterday

528

:

was a bad day get out Lamentations 3, 22

and 23 and read that and take it to heart.

529

:

Jen: That's

530

:

a good word.

531

:

I love that.

532

:

Stephanie: I

533

:

think it points us to the

perfection of our Heavenly Father.

534

:

Amen.

535

:

Sometimes I can have this day where

you're like, ah, thank you, Lord.

536

:

Thank you so much.

537

:

Like you were saying, Jen, you

helped me accomplish so much.

538

:

Thank you.

539

:

And then the next day it feels

like I couldn't get anything done.

540

:

Like I can't have back

to back super mom days,

541

:

Jen: nope.

542

:

Stephanie: and it just realizing, but

Lord, you, every day you are fully

543

:

faithful and your character shines.

544

:

So much.

545

:

So I will rest in your faithfulness

to my children, to my family and often

546

:

for me I find that it reaches the end

of the day and there are things that I

547

:

didn't get crossed off and you realize

If I've rightly ordered the day, those

548

:

are the things that didn't matter

549

:

to

550

:

Jen: you

551

:

Stephanie: Those were on my

list, but those were the things.

552

:

And it happened as I was

packing for this trip.

553

:

I have to get this done.

554

:

I have to get this done.

555

:

I have to get this done.

556

:

And then realizing, okay, no, actually

we're about to load up the car.

557

:

You weren't going to get that done.

558

:

And, realizing, thank you God for

providing clarity those were the things

559

:

that didn't matter as much in realizing.

560

:

It's okay.

561

:

Jen: I had that this week.

562

:

I felt like I had a list in my head.

563

:

But I had this week so much that

there were things that I wanted to

564

:

get done that have been on my list

in the back of my head of things

565

:

that I wanted to do for a long time.

566

:

And I woke up one morning with thinking,

this is the day that I can get them done.

567

:

I, my schedule is clear.

568

:

And thing after thing kept coming

up and I was getting so overwhelmed

569

:

in my spirit and a heavy heart.

570

:

I was getting bitter and

angry because I was annoyed.

571

:

This was my day to accomplish and

now it's not and all these things.

572

:

And I really, I just cried out to

the Lord and was like, Lord, help me.

573

:

I don't know how I'm going

to get these things done.

574

:

This was the day I had.

575

:

And now this is all happening.

576

:

I need your help.

577

:

And

578

:

MIC3: I,

579

:

Jen: I was driving to another appointment

and Olivia was in the car with me and I

580

:

just said, I just need to pray a minute.

581

:

And out loud in front of her, I was like,

Lord, you have called me to these things.

582

:

But I don't know how you are going

to help me accomplish these other

583

:

things that clearly need to be done.

584

:

I need your help.

585

:

I was like, okay, thank you, Lord.

586

:

And we moved on.

587

:

That whole rest of the day went horribly.

588

:

not go as I would have hoped at all.

589

:

But, the next morning, we got up

and Cade, out of his own, Will

590

:

and desire came up and said,

mom, I'd like to earn some money.

591

:

Do you have any jobs I

could do around the house?

592

:

And I thought, huh?

593

:

Yeah, actually I do.

594

:

So I gave him a job and I paid him

for it and he did a fantastic job.

595

:

That little guy at 10 years old

did so much work in one day.

596

:

He was so desiring, he's

saving up for a Lego set.

597

:

And so he worked his little butt

off helping me out around the day.

598

:

And at the end of that day.

599

:

I had almost everything on my list.

600

:

And I said, Oh Lord, you are so good here.

601

:

You sent help from my own 10

year old son and he desired it.

602

:

Wasn't me forcing him to do it.

603

:

He worked as unto the Lord.

604

:

And I believe with all my heart

that the Lord blessed his decision.

605

:

of his hands because

he did a fantastic job.

606

:

And I just said to him, look, I was

stressing yesterday, wondering how

607

:

the Lord was going to send me help.

608

:

And he sent it through my own son.

609

:

You blessed me.

610

:

You blessed the whole family.

611

:

It was amazing.

612

:

He worked so hard.

613

:

And so there's times where we think

we will never get these things done.

614

:

And we're limiting the Lord.

615

:

We're using our earthly eyes.

616

:

Stephanie: Yes.

617

:

And the fact that He doesn't

always do it through us.

618

:

Jen: No, he doesn't.

619

:

Stephanie: It's because it's not about us.

620

:

Jen: No.

621

:

Stephanie: it's about his will and his

glory and him being the hero of the story.

622

:

And so it's embracing those moments

of humility and you're right.

623

:

I can't do it.

624

:

And yet I feel you pleased in my desire

to honor my day rightly before you.

625

:

I Psalm 90 verse 12, when it says,

so teach us to number our days

626

:

that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

627

:

And that makes so much sense with what

you were saying, Betsy, about the bands.

628

:

And sometimes my friends and I will

talk about Someday we'll sit on a

629

:

porch and sip lemonade together.

630

:

Someday!

631

:

Or, I think about the hobbies I want

to do and, Oh, it was another month

632

:

where I didn't get to paint watercolors.

633

:

I just want to do that so

badly, but there'll be a season.

634

:

There'll be a day where I

can delve into those things.

635

:

And this is a season of being

really present with my kids.

636

:

Don't misunderstand me.

637

:

I do think we need to take time to develop

friendships, to develop even hobbies and

638

:

model for our kids, what it looks like to

be, A full person but that you realize.

639

:

Yep.

640

:

I'm trying to do it all

641

:

in this

642

:

Betsy: priorities.

643

:

We make priorities.

644

:

We talk about that in Entrusted.

645

:

So what are your priorities for this

season of life, this band as we call it?

646

:

Jen: Yeah.

647

:

I think that's so helpful.

648

:

The band.

649

:

That is such a good perspective and

mindset of how to look at it because we

650

:

think, Oh, if I'm not doing this on a

weekly basis, if I'm not doing this on a

651

:

monthly basis, like I'm going to miss out.

652

:

But really.

653

:

Like God is outside of time.

654

:

We don't have just, this

little tiny portion.

655

:

We trick ourselves into thinking that

we do, but I think of grandma Moses

656

:

who was an artist and didn't take it up

until she was in her, what, eighties or

657

:

seventies,

658

:

She didn't do any of it.

659

:

And then when she was a

grandma, she started painting

660

:

and painting fantastically.

661

:

So we put so much pressure on ourselves

to get it done within this timeframe.

662

:

And the Lord is

663

:

It'll

664

:

be okay.

665

:

I've given you these wonderful desires,

and you'll have time for that, but not

666

:

now.

667

:

Betsy: but not now.

668

:

David's grandmother started crocheting

when she was like 70, and she ended

669

:

up crocheting her daughter's wedding

dress, but not with yarn, with thread.

670

:

was unbelievable.

671

:

Jen: you have a picture of that?

672

:

Betsy: I don't.

673

:

I wish I

674

:

Jen: I wish you did too.

675

:

Betsy: I know, but isn't that

676

:

Jen: something?

677

:

That is amazing.

678

:

Stephanie: That's

679

:

Betsy: There's so much time

in life and it goes fast.

680

:

I'm going to say it because I'm getting

there, but You just don't have to feel

681

:

that overwhelming pressure that you

to be doing everything now and we were

682

:

talking earlier We also don't have to

think that The Lord is more pleased

683

:

with us the more that we do Because

we are His workmanship for good work.

684

:

So as it says in Ephesians 2 10 We

are doing these things out of the

685

:

love for the Lord not because it wins

his favor with us We have already

686

:

We see that through salvation.

687

:

There's nothing we could do.

688

:

We didn't earn salvation by works.

689

:

It was entirely his work and just

out of love for him, we follow his

690

:

word and obey his word, serve others.

691

:

Jen: And isn't that just.

692

:

So wonderful that he's given us this

work, which Not that every work is a joy,

693

:

but there can be such joy in the work.

694

:

There's so much joy that could be had.

695

:

And he didn't have to create us that

way, but he allowed us to do these

696

:

works because even in the doing them,

it increases our love for him more.

697

:

And it gives us a way of presenting

something that is beautiful.

698

:

That.

699

:

grows us in the work.

700

:

We're growing in the work and

we're not earning our salvation.

701

:

We're not earning his

favor, but we're growing.

702

:

We're being sanctified in the work.

703

:

Betsy: He gave man work to

do even before the fall.

704

:

So work is something that

God designed for us to do.

705

:

And, it's harder now.

706

:

He said it's been works been cursed.

707

:

It's harder now But there can be such

a great feeling of accomplishment

708

:

and work and even for our kids

and kids shouldn't you know?

709

:

Miss out on that just a few verses

further in Lamentations 3 where

710

:

we were just talking a moment ago.

711

:

It says in verse 27.

712

:

It is good for a man to

bear the yoke in his youth.

713

:

And give kids chores that stretch them

physically, mentally, emotionally,

714

:

artistically, creatively, whatever

it is so that they're stretched.

715

:

And when they're done, like your son,

your 10 year old son, I'm sure felt that

716

:

was, that felt like a good accomplishment.

717

:

I worked hard

718

:

Jen: He

719

:

said to himself, Mom,

that was so rewarding.

720

:

Betsy: Yes.

721

:

Jen: He's yes, it is.

722

:

Keep doing it.

723

:

No, I'm

724

:

Betsy: And they'll learn to receive

the award of the reward of the Lord.

725

:

Well done, good and faithful servant.

726

:

I do this as unto the Lord.

727

:

That's the, but not always.

728

:

It's sometimes, all of us.

729

:

Receive something for a job well done.

730

:

But not always.

731

:

Not always.

732

:

We're looking to the Lord.

733

:

Stephanie: I learned recently, maybe I've

heard it before, but I heard it again in

734

:

a sermon that when the Lord before the

fall says, fill the earth and multiply

735

:

and subdue the earth, that subdue word

is where the word chaos comes from.

736

:

And so the pastor said, we are

to take the peace in the garden.

737

:

And spread it.

738

:

We are supposed to fill the earth with

this peace and I think that's so neat

739

:

to think about even the gospel, it

starts in our home, we're discipling

740

:

our children, we're creating peace

in our home and then we're spreading

741

:

that out and sharing it with others.

742

:

But it also relates to order

743

:

MIC2: god knew that the

world would need subduing.

744

:

Because he knew that the fall was coming.

745

:

Okay.

746

:

Satan brought the chaos.

747

:

Jen: Yeah.

748

:

Stephanie: what are some other

scriptures that come to mind when you

749

:

think of ordering our lives rightly

750

:

Betsy: Psalm 118.

751

:

24 that says, and we hear this

verse a lot, but when we just take

752

:

a moment to really let it sink in.

753

:

This is a day that the Lord has made.

754

:

Let us rejoice and be glad in

755

:

it.

756

:

Stephanie: That's great.

757

:

Yes.

758

:

Jen: Psalm 16.

759

:

9 that says, The heart of man plans his

way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

760

:

I sometimes think of it as the Lord

being like, Yes, you may plan that.

761

:

I'm going to be the one that establishes

and these things work and makes it go

762

:

the way that I really want it to go.

763

:

And I'm so thankful for that.

764

:

I don't really want to

be planning my own way.

765

:

Psalm 16, three says, commit

your work to the Lord and your

766

:

plans will be established.

767

:

if I'm committing it to the

Lord, Then my heart is asking

768

:

for his will to be done in it.

769

:

And he establishes that.

770

:

That doesn't mean that the

Lord does what we want.

771

:

It means when we commit it to

him, we're submitting it to

772

:

Betsy: him Yes,

773

:

Jen: this Lord is yours.

774

:

You do the growing, unless the Lord

builds a house, we labor in vain who build

775

:

it.

776

:

Betsy: We relinquish control of

777

:

Jen: Yes.

778

:

In

779

:

Stephanie: In Proverbs 6, 6 through 8,

it says, Go to the aunt, O sluggard,

780

:

consider her ways and be wise.

781

:

Without having any chief, officer,

or ruler, she prepares her bread in

782

:

summer and gathers her food in harvest.

783

:

And that when we are mature in

the Lord, we do it unto him.

784

:

And we don't need a manager.

785

:

The external motivator

doesn't need to be there.

786

:

It's an internal motivation

that we're serving the Lord.

787

:

This ordering of our days or the hard

work, it becomes easier and more natural.

788

:

And I think we're more faithful

as we walk in the spirit.

789

:

Betsy: I think that's the overall point

that we're making here in this first part,

790

:

is that we wanna be internally ordered.

791

:

And if we want to have any external order,

we have to first be internally ordered in

792

:

communion with the Lord and gratitude for

what He's done, thankfulness, and knowing

793

:

that if I don't get this done, it's okay.

794

:

Lord, you are with me

and you know these things

795

:

and

796

:

it's just a really freeing feeling.

797

:

Jen: It's freeing and it produces joy.

798

:

produces joy because we know we can't,

ultimately we can't mess this up.

799

:

The Lord is sovereign and he's kindly

allowing us to take part in these

800

:

things, but he is the master artist,

and he is allowing all of our little

801

:

childish drawings to come into something

beautiful that he is planning and doing.

802

:

And he does the work.

803

:

He does these things, but we

get the joy of participating.

804

:

One of my favorite verses for when Things

don't go my way or when the order turns to

805

:

chaos because of the children or my home,

because as Betsy had mentioned, if I lived

806

:

alone, everything would be very orderly,

tidy with no no piles of paperwork.

807

:

No But my favorite verses, Proverbs 14,

four says where there are no oxen, the

808

:

manger is clean, but abundant strength

comes from the crops of the oxen.

809

:

And if I had no children, my house would

be clean, but strength comes from that.

810

:

And productivity requires investment when

you, if you were a farmer and you wanted

811

:

to be productive, you needed to invest

into the oxen to have that, to bring

812

:

the strength and to bring that in there.

813

:

And so with that, that requires

the feeding and the cleanup of the

814

:

oxen and an investment in that.

815

:

And so we need to invest in that.

816

:

In the labor.

817

:

We need to invest in those

resources and doing that.

818

:

But guess what?

819

:

Theen are part of the mess.

820

:

They can clean the mess up.

821

:

These children of ours, we, it doesn't

rely on just us to clean this up.

822

:

I often say that I am not the

only one that made this mess.

823

:

Let's work together, and doing

the work of the household.

824

:

Betsy: And I think we can add one more

thought from Matthew 6 27 we're familiar

825

:

with this one too starting with 26

actually look at the birds of the air They

826

:

do not sow nor reap nor gather into barns

and yet your heavenly father feeds them

827

:

That may be where somebody is right now.

828

:

They feel the pressure to have

to work They feel they do have to

829

:

do so many things in this world

while their children are at home.

830

:

But know that the Lord is still watching

over you, and He is feeding you.

831

:

And are you not worth much more than they?

832

:

And who of you by being worried

can add a single hour to his life?

833

:

And why are you worried about clothing?

834

:

Observe the lilies of the

field and how they grow.

835

:

Do they not, they do not

toil, nor do they spin.

836

:

Yet I say to you that not even

Solomon in all his glory Clothed

837

:

himself, like one of these.

838

:

But if God so clothes the grass of

the field, which is alive today and

839

:

tomorrow is thrown into the furnace,

will he not much more clothe you?

840

:

You of little faith do not worry, then

saying, What will we eat, or what will we

841

:

drink, or what will we wear for clothing?

842

:

For the Gentiles eagerly

seek all these things.

843

:

For your Heavenly Father knows

that you need all these things,

844

:

but seek first His kingdom.

845

:

And his righteousness and all

these things will be added to you.

846

:

So don't worry about tomorrow.

847

:

For tomorrow will take care of itself.

848

:

Each day has enough trouble of its own.

849

:

I know

850

:

Stephanie: I was sharing the other

day those are some of my memorial

851

:

verses that every time I get anxious

about my body, about my children's

852

:

bodies, about our provision, the

Lord brings you back to that.

853

:

And you're like done.

854

:

Got it.

855

:

It's such a reset for my mind.

856

:

I think

857

:

Betsy: Awesome thought that

we use scripture when we

858

:

feel ourselves getting out of

859

:

Jen: Yes.

860

:

we

861

:

Betsy: we feel ourselves getting

that anxious mindset and stuff you

862

:

just shared that those were yours.

863

:

I know at certain points of my life

when I felt like that anxiety coming

864

:

over me, I will say scripture and I

know the one that I, Say the most and

865

:

I won't be able to say it right now

But 7 be anxious for nothing But in all

866

:

things by prayer with supplication and

thanksgiving Let your requests be made

867

:

known to God and the peace of God which

surpasses all understanding Shall guard

868

:

your hearts in minds in Christ Jesus.

869

:

Jen: love

870

:

Betsy: I

871

:

Love that so much because it says

your hearts Your thoughts and

872

:

your emotions, I will bring under

my perfect and sovereign peace.

873

:

And so that the peace of God,

which surpasses all comprehension.

874

:

She'll guard your hearts and minds.

875

:

That is, that's my verse for that moment.

876

:

Do you have

877

:

Jen: I do.

878

:

It's take every thought captive

and make it obedient unto Christ.

879

:

And so we are not to allow our thoughts

and our minds to constantly be going.

880

:

And as we're thinking of our schedule,

thinking of our day, thinking of what

881

:

they're going to eat, what they're

going to wear, all the different

882

:

things, we need to take our thoughts

captive because they're coming at us.

883

:

They're coming

884

:

Betsy: at

885

:

Jen: but we take that captive.

886

:

And we make them obedient unto Christ.

887

:

They're not going to naturally

be obedient to Christ.

888

:

And so whenever I'm feeling that nope,

I'm going to take that thought captive,

889

:

even when it pertains to forgiveness,

when it pertains to bitterness, to

890

:

any of those emotions, those feelings

that come in, the thoughts that

891

:

come in that are sinful thoughts,

no, I'm going to take that captive.

892

:

Betsy: Love that.

893

:

What is the reference for that

894

:

verse?

895

:

Jen: Second

896

:

Corinthians five.

897

:

We destroy arguments and every lofty

opinion raised against the knowledge

898

:

of God and take every thought captive

to obey Christ, being ready to

899

:

punish every disobedience when your

obedience is complete, is what it says.

900

:

Stephanie: says.

901

:

Betsy: Great.

902

:

I love how the Lord his word in different

ways and to each of us that we would

903

:

not having ever discussed this before

have our own verse anxious moments.

904

:

Stephanie: We know you're busy,

Mama, so we are truly grateful you

905

:

joined us for this episode of Again.

906

:

If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

907

:

foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

908

:

EntrustedMinistries.

909

:

com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

910

:

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

911

:

world, and we want it for you, too.

912

:

Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

913

:

from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

914

:

We're rooting for you.

915

:

To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

916

:

calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good and every work of faith by

917

:

His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

918

:

Him, according to the grace of our God.

919

:

And the Lord Jesus Christ.

920

:

Amen.

921

:

Until we meet again.

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About the Podcast

Again
Biblical Motherhood Untangled
So much of what we do as mothers is on repeat. Join us to redeem this repetition and untangle from the confusion and overwhelm of parenting. We'll follow the Agains in the Bible to focus on the things that matter most. Let's look up together to embrace a motherhood full of freedom and joy! This podcast is sponsored by Entrusted Ministries.

About your host

Profile picture for Stephanie Hickox

Stephanie Hickox

Stephanie has always delighted in God’s Word and in sharing it with others. Whether it is equipping mothers and leaders through Entrusted with a Child’s Heart, inspiring students when teaching at homeschool co-ops or children’s ministry, or homeschooling her own children, Stephanie’s life mission is to encourage others to follow faithfully and joyfully after Jesus—especially if they hold her favorite job title: mom.

Betsy Corning wrote Entrusted with a Child’s Heart in 1999 in response to the needs she saw in families as she and David counseled young parents just a few years behind them. Entrusted has been taught in hundreds of churches nationwide, been translated into several foreign languages, and has made its way around the world. More recently, Betsy received her Masters in Biblical Studies from The Master’s University and is developing a new Bible Study program called Get the Word Out. Her passion for God’s Word, discipleship, and teaching biblical principles as they apply to family life has remained strong to this day. One of the greatest blessings in Betsy’s life are her three grown children, their spouses, and ten grandchildren that keep her constantly in touch with every age and stage.

Jen Freckman Is an incredible wealth of wisdom. She will tell you a natural remedy for just about anything! She is also a voracious reader and she is just overflowing with quotes and guidance that she's encountered through reading and being faithful. She delights in her children and is a devoted mother. She is also an amazingly creative problem solver! Her solutions to manage her home and guide her children are inspiring.

Emily Deyo is such a treasure. She is an incredible encourager and servant-hearted woman. When she has the mic in front of her, so much value comes out! She is a wordsmith and her heart consistently beats for how she can encourage and serve others. She is a truly loving and attentive mother.

Join Betsy, Emily, Jen, and Stephanie as they share the wisdom only Scripture and on-the-job training can provide to help untangle the joyful calling of motherhood.