Episode 43

full
Published on:

19th Jun 2024

#43. Ordering Our Days: Part 2 (Creating Systems that Promote Peace and Put People First)

Betsy, Jen, and Steph are back in person and excited to give all their best tips to help Christian moms order their days, weeks, and months! Listen to hear lots of practical tips, wisdom, and resources that put people first and promote peace in our homes!

Scripture Referenced: James 1:5

Resources Recommended:

Learn Do Become

PowerSheets Additional tip from Steph: I wait until these go on sale, and then I use them for the following year!

Amy Lynn Andrews

Sunday Basket

Get the Word Out (Fill out a form on Entrusted Ministries' Website to receive updates!)

Visual Timer (small, magnetic)

Visual Timer (Large, with stand)


Transcript
Speaker:

They're the joyful agains our children

shout on the swings, the exhausting

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agains of cooking and laundry, and

the difficult agains of discipline.

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So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

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So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

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to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

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We believe God's Word is

the key to untangle from the

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confusion and overwhelm we feel.

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Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

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Welcome to the again, podcast.

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I'm your host, Stephanie Hickox.

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And this is brought to you

by interested ministries.

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Today, I'm joined for part

two of a discussion on setting

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intention and order for our days.

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Jenn Frackman and Betsy Corning joined me.

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And we add some practical application

of the systems we've created

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If you didn't hear last week's episode, please don't skip over it.

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It was a lengthy preamble, and yet

we feel it was incredibly important.

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Before we taught you these practical

systems we have going in our homes.

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There are several resources that I will

link in our show notes for this episode.

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At one point you'll hear Betsy

mentioned, get the word out.

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That is a Bible study resource

that she and her husband David

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had been creating for decades.

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And it will be launching

and available this fall.

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But if you can't wait

to get your hands on it.

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Fill out a form on the entrusted

ministries website and let me

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know, and we'll make sure that

you get all the latest updates.

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If this podcast has helped you untangle

what biblical motherhood truly is.

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And has helped you swim

against the current of culture.

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Could you do us a favor,

please write a review.

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We want to encourage mothers

who are seeking to follow

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Christ in their motherhood.

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And we believe that it's probably

never been more confusing to

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raise your children for Christ.

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So we want to make sure that

the moms that are seeking wisdom

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that is grounded in scripture.

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can find this podcast.

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And when you write those reviews, it

increases the likelihood that they will.

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All right, let's get to

that practical wisdom.

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Stephanie: I love to get your heart

right before you dig into any of

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it because we have to build on

the foundation of Jesus Christ.

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Even when you think I'm just going to

make a to do list, check in with Jesus

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first, have your time with the Lord first.

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Rightly order your days.

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And then those things can, flow.

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Let's talk about some things

that we have found that really

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help us to order our days well

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and I just want to reiterate that we're

going to say some things that we have

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done or we're trying or we do, and that

doesn't mean that we always do them.

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And it doesn't mean that we've

arrived and got it all figured out.

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We do transition to new seasons

all the time and we're finding

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new routines and new schedules.

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We're going to say some things

and you might think right away,

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that wouldn't work for me.

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And that's okay.

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I think I've sat with very wise women

and heard their routines before

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and thought, Oh, I feel like that

doesn't work for us because of this.

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And that's okay.

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Because the Lord, as it says in James.

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He provides wisdom.

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But hopefully this will spark some ideas

for you of what you could do in your home.

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Jen, tell us about your pantry paper roll

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Jen: Let me backtrack a minute

and tell you that the way

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that we do our scheduling is.

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We keep a family calendar on our, Eric

and I do, on our iPhones through the

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Apple calendar and so we both add to

that , I become the kind of family.

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Schedule operator.

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And so throughout the month we

have the monthly view and then that

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the things get planned in that.

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Then throughout the week, what I do with

my pantry is I have a walk in pantry and

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on the wall, I have a brown paper roll.

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I've searched and searched.

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From Etsy to Amazon to Office Depot.

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And I could not find anything that

suited us and worked well enough for us.

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And so I just created my own.

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So I bought brown paper

roll, hung it up there.

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And every week on Saturday, I plan

for the week ahead and I'll look at

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our calendar and say, what do we have?

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And so I literally draw I draw lines down.

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I at the very top, I just have

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,

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Friday, Saturday with the dates on it.

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Sometimes I'll put like what the

weather is going to be like just

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to give us an idea of planning

for outside times and things.

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And then it has a long column down

throughout at the bottom of the page.

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I do a horizontal line and that is a

portion of what we're having for dinner.

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And then at the very bottom of that is

evening what we're doing that evening.

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And it has worked so well for us

because it is a quick snapshot.

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Everybody can answer all the

questions of what's going and

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when, and are all on there.

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So I don't get as many questions

and it helps me to order the

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day to know what we're in for.

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Is this a busy week?

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Do I need to spend some time in prayer?

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The busier I am more committed

to being in prayer because

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MIC3: um, it's, it's, it's,

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Jen: it's I need the Lord so much more.

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Like I, there's things coming at us.

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So let's say on Monday I will

have, this child has an appointment.

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This kid is playing

baseball in the evening.

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And I'll plan the meal

according to that week.

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Do I have time to prep really well?

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Can I make a long meal that I can do?

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I enjoy doing those things,

but Do I have the time?

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If I'm not going to be home, then that

might be a time where I use to pull out

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one of the pre made frozen meals that

I've made for times like this, where it's

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still a nutritious meal, but I don't have

to spend the time laboring to make it.

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And so I plan all the week's meals.

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And then on Saturday afternoon, I am,

while I'm planning my week, I'm also

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making my grocery list for with that

meal, do I have everything I need for it?

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What do I need to buy?

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What do I need to.

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And And then as I'm literally, as I'm

writing it on there before, what, before

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I write anything, I put my hands on the

calendar and I pray over it because I very

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much want to steward my time I want to

rest well, but I also want to work well.

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I asked the Lord, whatever

is not of you, take it away.

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And if this feels like too much, but if

you say I can do it, then I'll do it.

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If it is too much and it's

not of you, take it away.

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And I just try to release myself to that.

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And then I write the schedule out.

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And the biggest key for me is I

use the Google Maps app in the

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calendar, it will have a travel time.

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So I will enter the address where

we're going and it will tell me.

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So if I say I have an

appointment at 10 o'clock.

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I enter where I'm going, it tells me

you need to leave by 920 to get there.

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That has been so helpful because

I put that on the calendar.

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So the kids, it'll say, there's

a portion, it'll say, Mom,

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appointment 10 o'clock, leave 940.

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I never have any questions now of

when we're leaving because the kids

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know, oh, we have to be ready by this

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time

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Betsy: by

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Jen: So that's been super

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Betsy: And we might want to say

that you live in the Chicago

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Jen: Yes, sense

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Betsy: than some areas.

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And you might have to add a few minutes

depending on the time of the day,

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Jen: Yes, but Google Maps is very smart

and it knows the time of day and the

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travel because I will enter something

and I'll change the time to being 5 p.

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m.

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instead of 11 a.

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m.

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and it changes.

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It knows there's more traffic at 5 p.

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m.

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So it is super helpful and it's

pretty accurate to help with

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Betsy: That's a great idea.

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I have an idea that's along those

lines, very much more simplistic.

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But when our kids were young,

and I do love the idea of

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the handwritten thing by mom.

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mom wrote this or dad wrote this.

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And and just having it large.

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Large and in place where anyone

can come by and read it and see it.

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We had something like that.

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It was a whiteboard, but it was large.

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a calendar, a monthly

calendar printed on it.

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And then I could write in

the dailies, the schedule.

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So if somebody said to me, mom,

may I go sleep overnight at

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so and so's house on Friday?

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I would say Maybe I couldn't

tell them right then.

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Maybe it's Monday and I think I

have to figure out a couple things.

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And then I could say, it's 80

percent yes and 20 percent no.

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I'll tell you by Wednesday at 4 o'clock.

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And then I would.

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But then they had an inkling

of kind of how I think.

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It might go and I always tried to make

it happen if I could, but then it wasn't

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a done deal unless I rode up there,

four o'clock so and so is going to so

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and so's house and they knew that so

they couldn't come and say, but I told

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you and you know that it alleviates

all that something else that I did was

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Because my husband worked almost full

time at the church and at an office,

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so his hours were very unpredictable.

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And sometimes he would be home at 5.

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30, but sometimes he

wouldn't be home till 9.

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00.

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And then I would hold dinner for him.

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But if I knew, hey, he's

going to be home at 7.

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30 tonight instead of 5.

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00, and I've got four kids in the

house that want to know when dinner

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is, I'll just put a, 8 and a half

by 11 sheet on the refrigerator made

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with a magnet, and it says, Dinner

is at, and tonight, I'll put in 7.

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30.

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And then, no snacks after 5.

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30, kitchen table cleared by.

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6 30.

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So then they know if they're doing

homework there, I need to clear

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out all my books by this time.

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I'm not supposed to be

snacking after this time.

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And it alleviates all

the, Mom, can I eat this?

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No, it's all posted up here and you

don't have to regulate all that.

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It's all done by a simple sheet of paper.

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Stephanie: Yes We have a whiteboard

that is right by our kitchen

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and you actually found it at

HomeGoods, I believe, and Fetsy.

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We did have a monthly calendar and I do

put that in the hallway, but as you're

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coming into the kitchen, there is a weekly

whiteboard and I will put on a Everyone

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kind of has their own color, and I will

put, dad's schedule, everyone's schedule,

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mom's work schedule on there, and it just

helps everyone see visually what's coming.

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And we do also do a shared online

calendar, and that's really helpful.

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But I write that out in front

of the family, and tell them

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the details as I'm writing it.

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And we had an idea for a while that

we would do maybe Sunday Sundays

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and they could have a scoop of ice

cream while I was doing it because

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we realized it kind of takes a while

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Let's just have something sweet where this

is a family meeting and this is coming.

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And then it was a moment for them

to say, okay what about this?

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This is important to me.

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Can, We make time for this.

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And so the kids could chime in.

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There have been weeks for sure

where, companies coming and the

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schedule changes and I just do it

on a Saturday morning without them.

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But I found those visuals that everyone

can see are such helpful opportunities

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for removing the questions that they have.

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Betsy: And hearing it,

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Stephanie: yes.

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Jen: We typically, because we do a

co op on Monday mornings we typically

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on Saturday or I'm sorry, on Sunday

evening before bed and everything, we're

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making our lunches for the co op on

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Betsy: What do you mean co

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Jen: We do a homeschool

co op we go every Monday.

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It's a full day thing and all of us go.

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So Sunday evening as we're making

the lunches after everybody's bag is

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packed, everything's ready, we have

a a briefing of what the week looks

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like and the calendar is already done.

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They've been able to peruse through it

themselves and look at it and we walk

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through and say okay this is what's

happening this week and be mindful

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that you're going to need to have

your So there's no verbal preface.

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based ill uniformed wash.

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Just I by this time, so make sure you've

done that and just talk them through

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it and answer those questions as well.

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And it did, even though it's on the

board, they still, they do have questions

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of how this is going to work out and

so talking them through before we

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get there has helped a lot as well.

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One of the other helpful things

that we have a dear friend told

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this about the countdown timer.

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It's a large clock and it has a visual

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Bar that kind of goes around.

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How

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Stephanie: Like a red section.

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I have that.

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I'm going to cross that off my

list, Jen, because I was good.

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Yeah, it's good.

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I'm sorry, crossing off my

list to talk about, yes.

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Jen: It has a red bar or a I don't even

know how to explain it But a visual to

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show you how much time is left and it

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slowly by but I It is!

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I have set that and been like, okay,

we're leaving in 35 minutes, set the

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timer, and they can see time dwindling.

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Betsy: I'm checking into

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Stephanie: Yep, so I will link that in

the show notes and Yes, it's amazing

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because it used to be like, if I'm

not, I need to go get ready, but if

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I'm not down here making sure their

teeth are brushed and everything,

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we're not going to leave on time.

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Since we got that, I can just,

I can be upstairs and they

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look at it and it's amazing.

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Jen: Yes, it is so

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Betsy: how large is it?

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Jen: Uh, maybe like 10, oh,

mine is like 10 to 12 inches.

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It's very round,

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Stephanie: I just have a small

circle one and it's magnetic so it's

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Betsy: on

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the

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Stephanie: fridge and it really, it's so

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Betsy: I can see where they'd be, where

they'd be running by and oh no, I have one

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one minute.

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a fun

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challenge

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Jen: It does

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MIC3: make

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MIC2: timer.

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Betsy: Yes.

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Jen: Make sure your shoes are done,

that you have found your shoes, that

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that your teeth are brushed, that you've

brushed your hair, all the things.

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These are all included in leaving.

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And this is the time we're leaving.

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Not this is the time we

get all those things.

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out the door at this house.

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That is so

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Stephanie: I love

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Betsy: I love that.

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Stephanie: don't know about either

of you, but I found Being a stay at

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home mom and homeschooling and working

so many of my tasks are repetitive.

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And yes, this is something I

do all the time I don't need to

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write that in a planner every day.

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I don't use a daily planner

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MIC2: I'm sorry, I do

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Betsy: have

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to write

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Stephanie: it.

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Betsy: it.

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Because I want to check it off.

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I love it!

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Stephanie: I so I don't

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I used to feel oh am I not being

faithful like I bought this planner and

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I've realized No, I know my rhythms.

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I know my routines.

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And that planner space is for

me, to just put maybe things

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that are out of the ordinary or

to say when it needs to happen.

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But for my planning, that's helpful.

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And I found a planner but it has

two sections and that's helpful

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for me because my home to do's are

different than my work to do's.

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And it just sometimes, it sounds simple,

but I feel like so many planners, I

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just wanted to be able to separate

those off and to know, did I really

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get the work things accomplished?

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Did I get the home things accomplished?

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Jen: I have a 3 by 5 notebook.

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And what I use that for is my long

term planning things that I know I

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can't get to in the next week or two.

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But yet I don't want to forget about

them because they're important.

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And I really, I desire to

put the time into this.

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But what I do with that is I I put it

down and I just let the Holy Spirit work.

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Is this important?

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Is this something, and

when can we fit it in?

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And then if I feel like there's time

coming up in the week where there's free,

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I'll often look in to that planner or that

little notebook and be like, Oh, is there

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space to be able to work on this thing?

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And it has been super helpful because

I need to intentionally plan for some

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of these things like cleaning out the

basement or doing different things

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that, just get cluttered that, Nobody

else is going to do it unless I do.

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And so that has been helpful to be

like, Oh, I have packets of time

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to do little things here and there.

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But then also not to always be planning

things like, okay, I could plan my time

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where I'm not spending any time playing

a game with a kid or not going for a

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walk as a family or doing a bike ride.

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But we also plan those things in

this is going to be a family time.

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We're going to go for a

bike ride after dinner.

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So don't plan anything.

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But that's been helpful not

to feel like it's on my.

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Weekly constant reminder.

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I'm constantly seeing it and annoyed

that I'm not getting to it, but I can

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pull it out when I'm like, oh, yeah, I

have some time to do a bigger project.

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Betsy: Now my friend Nancy she sent me

a book it was called something about how

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to plan margins I always called it flex

time in your calendar So you're not going

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minute to minute because of she also knew

in Addition to my husband that I have a

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bad economy of time and she's worked with

me for 24 years so she definitely knows

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and she's Betsy you need more margins

you go you go you go and I don't know.

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I'm just, I'm so bad at this.

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This may be something you, maybe you

identify with this and Even if I have 10

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minutes more before I go out the door,

I'm like, what can I do for 10 minutes?

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And then I end up being, three

minutes later with something

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because it took longer

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10

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MIC3: minutes,

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Betsy: I'm the one that is always,

and I don't, that's just my nature.

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When everybody's around me,

I ease up for their sakes,

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but

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I admit that's who I am.

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But I think it really helps to,

you do have different types of

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schedules at different times.

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When my kids were little, I used to

write down, I did it by a week, by week.

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And so I would have a huge 11

by 17 week calendar of the week.

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And I would say, I need to call

the electric company, or I need

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to make this doctor's appointment.

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And I might put it in on Monday.

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But Monday was always my laundry day.

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So I would do my laundry and ironing.

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When I had four teenagers,

maybe I had more ironing, or on

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Monday, and I didn't get it done.

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Whatever I didn't get done on that day.

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I would advance it to the next day

or advance it to the next place

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that I thought slot that I thought.

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So I didn't down on myself saying,

Oh, I didn't accomplish what

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I needed to accomplish today.

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But I always just say I did the

best I could and then advance it.

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And by doing that, you

don't overwhelm yourself.

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Which really ministered to me when I

was younger and had fussy children.

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And I had A baby that was fussing all

day and I just rocked her the entire day.

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And I share the story in Entrusted.

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When David came home, I thought, David,

I didn't get anything done today.

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I just rocked this baby all day.

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But then the reality of

is that's what the baby

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needed.

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And she wasn't fussy the next day She

just needed that Comfort and security

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of mom so we don't want to say We're

not overshadowing those things.

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We're definitely not we're but we're

just trying to give Some simple ideas

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of how to structure and order things

that actually need to get done.

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One other thing I would say is when

we have a huge project, and now in my

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life, I have very big projects that

take a Months might take a whole year.

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I have projects that take a whole

year now, I could never just

376

:

look at that and think I can do

it because it's overwhelming.

377

:

Maybe thinking I've gotta clean

out the basement or the garage.

378

:

That's too overwhelming

to look at it as one.

379

:

And I will take that project and I'll

break it down over 12 months, then

380

:

I'll break it down over 52 weeks, then

I'll break it down in my calendar.

381

:

And so when I look at my calendar by

week, I'm like, I really need six hours

382

:

this week or this day or whatever.

383

:

And so that I'm making sure that I

actually accomplish that, that goal.

384

:

But some days, honestly, I'll

get a bad headache or somebody

385

:

will say, I need help with this.

386

:

And I will say, I'm there.

387

:

And I say it to the Lord, I know

you'll help me get this done.

388

:

And then I will, move it on to

another day and it will happen.

389

:

But, I think, don't get overwhelmed

by massive things that you have

390

:

to do, just really break them

down to very manageable pieces.

391

:

And if cleaning the basement, you say,

I have one hour this week, and I'm just

392

:

going to fill a box with stuff I can take

to the Goodwill, or something like that.

393

:

And you're not tackling

the entire basement.

394

:

Stephanie: was going to piggyback

on that, because there's a

395

:

resource that's phenomenal.

396

:

it's called Learn Do Become,

they're a great resource.

397

:

They do have classes and things you

can pay for, but they have a free

398

:

online training about I think she

calls it flat surface disease, where

399

:

people, there's a flat surface and so

all of a sudden there's clutter there

400

:

because there's a stack and they train

you how do you clear that clutter and

401

:

they have A system and routine for

setting up a command center in your home.

402

:

But part of it is creating this

monthly projects list and they say,

403

:

pick about eight projects a month.

404

:

I think for a mom of young children,

it should definitely be less so that's

405

:

high, but maybe you're picking, okay,

these are a couple of work projects

406

:

I'm going to get done this month.

407

:

This is a home project.

408

:

This is, maybe something fun for the kids.

409

:

And then this is something I

really want to get done for me.

410

:

It just spread it out a little

bit, they do have free forms on

411

:

their website that you can fill out

and break it into smaller pieces.

412

:

And often that makes it doable, right?

413

:

You see the small the

small tangible steps.

414

:

And sometimes I find I'm

overwhelmed because I actually

415

:

don't know where to start.

416

:

And forcing yourself to say, okay.

417

:

Where do I start with this big thing?

418

:

Start a podcast.

419

:

That's pretty intense.

420

:

But if I say I need to research

an editing platform, I need to

421

:

research a hosting platform.

422

:

Break those things really down as small

as you can, and then it feels like

423

:

you're gaining momentum, and it's the

snowball effect that works so well.

424

:

And PowerSheets is a beautiful planner,

and there are monthly tending lists.

425

:

What I love about that resource

is it, on the front end, you

426

:

begin with so much intentionality.

427

:

It goes along with the bands

that you said, Aunt Betsy, when

428

:

I'm 80, what do I want people

have, to have said about my life?

429

:

And then you're breaking it down

what does that mean for now?

430

:

If I really want to have this fantastic

marriage, what am I doing on a yearly,

431

:

on a monthly, on a weekly, on a

daily basis to tend that in my life?

432

:

If I want to be this mom that's

so present, what am I doing?

433

:

Betsy: I think that's

what get the word out is.

434

:

That's what we did for people because

you never know exactly where to start.

435

:

You may think, I want to be a speaker.

436

:

I want to be a teacher.

437

:

I want to be this.

438

:

I know that I have the gifts from the Lord

to do it, but it's always the starting

439

:

The hardest part is the beginning.

440

:

And so Go by a plan and work through

it day by day with this system.

441

:

You will see that the Lord is

providing that for you through

442

:

the work that you're doing.

443

:

You may not even realize what's

happening there, but eventually

444

:

the discipline

445

:

of doing those things is the start.

446

:

And this thing that people are

saying here, learn to be disciplined.

447

:

Do, Become is very similar to what we

used to say Desire, Discipline, Delight.

448

:

Jen: Discipline, Desire,

449

:

Discipline, So

450

:

Betsy: learning,

451

:

Jen: teach them how to make their

452

:

make the discipline of doing it.

453

:

Betsy: and make the

discipline of doing it, and

454

:

then just see if they do it.

455

:

There needs to be one more step in there.

456

:

called see if they do it.

457

:

Jen: Yeah.

458

:

Betsy: Yes.

459

:

Stephanie: and

460

:

then one more along those lines,

because PowerSheets, that one is a

461

:

little bit pricier, but it's beautiful

and it's great, but Amy Lynn Andrews

462

:

has an ebook called tell your time.

463

:

it's a couple dollars And then there

are free printables on her website.

464

:

And Betsy, she reminds me of you because

she's been offered by publishers like this

465

:

is so phenomenal, but it's only 35 pages.

466

:

Can we make this a whole book?

467

:

And she says, no.

468

:

I'm trying to respect people's time.

469

:

This is really what they need

to know this 35 page ebook, and

470

:

I'm not going to lengthen it.

471

:

And so she's offering it

very inexpensively to people.

472

:

And then there are sheets

again, like I want to be this

473

:

kind of follower of Christ.

474

:

And then you do break it down

into non negotiables and in your

475

:

week and in your life of, okay.

476

:

So every week I have church.

477

:

I'm going to put that on my.

478

:

calendar because it's a set time and

it's a non negotiable and then you

479

:

fill in with margin but you fill in

those other things that might have

480

:

a little bit of flexibility it's

really a helpful visual for saying this

481

:

is the intention of my heart and now

let's make it practical and break it

482

:

down in a way that makes it possible.

483

:

Jen: think there's things that we do that

are just a rhythm throughout our weeks

484

:

and our days and the things that maybe

don't have a set time on the calendar.

485

:

I don't have to leave by this time.

486

:

I don't have to accomplish

this by this specific time.

487

:

Those get in, put into our calendar

on the weekly Brown paper roll on that

488

:

calendar and I'll put a sticky note.

489

:

So let's say it's, I may,

I want to make my kombucha.

490

:

So I'll just put the kombucha

where there's a space of time.

491

:

I'll put on that day.

492

:

If it doesn't work that day,

it gets moved to the next day.

493

:

it's so freeing because I'm not

scheduled to that time, but this is

494

:

the rhythm of life as to how it goes.

495

:

I think there's so much to be said about.

496

:

Being open to the spirits moving.

497

:

And we don't know if that neighbor is

going to come over and need some help

498

:

or if that child is going to fall and

need to go to the ER really quickly.

499

:

Or as in what happened yesterday, the

wind is going to blow my table and

500

:

it's going to shatter on our pool deck.

501

:

Like you just don't know what's going

to so not being set so specifically

502

:

to time is so freeing and life giving.

503

:

Stephanie: I think we're saying

this many times, but I just want

504

:

to, for me, how I think about it is

505

:

I,

506

:

like goal setting.

507

:

I like to accomplish much, but

people will always trump tasks.

508

:

And that's the way that

the Lord was, right?

509

:

That's the way he operated

and interrupted constantly,

510

:

but always put people first.

511

:

There's one other resource that, I

like the idea of it, but the name,

512

:

I just, I have a little bit of a

critique, it's called the Sunday basket.

513

:

Have you heard of this?

514

:

I went to a workshop from her at a

homeschool conference and she's a

515

:

professional organizer, and she teaches

you how to organize your life in a year.

516

:

I like that she says a year because why

would we expect ourselves to do it so

517

:

Jen: Hmm.

518

:

Stephanie: And she talks about just,

first you organize your own closet and

519

:

your own purse and then you can use

this momentum to add on your family.

520

:

And, her paper organization system,

it's called the Sunday basket.

521

:

And so you often have things coming in.

522

:

The world is changing, there's a lot of

digital things, but it does feel like

523

:

the paper clutter is still so there.

524

:

I'll get the flyer from the Parks

and Rec Department and I'm thinking,

525

:

okay I want to think about signing

my kids up for one of those, but

526

:

I don't need to do it this week.

527

:

And so she has all of these

files it's like in an upright

528

:

basket you can buy from her.

529

:

But you can certainly make.

530

:

A system of your own.

531

:

And then you file those things

and then on a Sunday you would go

532

:

through and plan your whole life,

all the things we're talking about.

533

:

She says you sit down, for a block

of time on Sunday and do that.

534

:

And the reason I don't know, I just feel

like not Sunday, pick a different day,

535

:

I got the Saturday basket and

I like it more, but that's just

536

:

obviously personal conviction.

537

:

But if you're feeling like you're

absolutely lost with paper clutter,

538

:

those are a couple of resources

that it's okay to ask for help.

539

:

It's okay that you don't know

how to do this and it's okay

540

:

that you need, maybe you need to.

541

:

Buy a little resource or something to

help the system get going and then when

542

:

you're done You know how to tailor it to

make it individual say that was a really

543

:

great system But I didn't need half of it

and you make it your own And then just

544

:

pick a path and go with it pick a routine

a system The paper, the whatever that

545

:

works for you, and it might not be the

perfect thing, but , not moving at all

546

:

in a direction is certainly not working.

547

:

So

548

:

just take a step.

549

:

Betsy: obviously conserve time.

550

:

Once we're efficient in them.

551

:

It might seem, oh, I don't wanna

do that seems so rigid or whatever.

552

:

Actually, when we get one that's

customized to the needs of our

553

:

household, we see how freeing it is

and how much more extra time it gives

554

:

us.

555

:

Stephanie: Yes.

556

:

Jen, I talked a little bit about how

we have those family Sunday Sundays.

557

:

Can you tell us about

your family meetings?

558

:

I love this idea.

559

:

Jen: Yeah, so we have a thing called

family meeting and I keep the notes

560

:

on my phone and so anytime a kid

has something that they want to do

561

:

that's in the future mom I need to,

I would like to sign up for soccer.

562

:

Can you look into that schedule?

563

:

I really wish that we could

play this game together.

564

:

Can we go to the store and buy it?

565

:

All these random things that come

at us that kids have in their little

566

:

hearts of what they want to do.

567

:

And they want an answer right then

because that's important to them.

568

:

But we want to give value and honor

to them, but we know we can't do this.

569

:

We have put all those things

into what we call the family

570

:

meeting it's been so helpful.

571

:

It's been so helpful.

572

:

So I put it on my phone.

573

:

I'm like, oh, that's a great

thing for the family meeting.

574

:

Here's my phone.

575

:

Enter it in and they'll type in what it

is and it can be a grievance they have

576

:

with mom or dad or a brother and sister.

577

:

Things that they just feel are not

getting our attention like it needs to.

578

:

And so every so often when it's been

after it's been a while, we don't set

579

:

a certain time, like we don't have

it every week or whatever, but just.

580

:

Every so often I'll call a family

meeting and I'll say, we're having

581

:

a family meeting on Wednesday.

582

:

Make sure you have all your entries

583

:

Betsy: in.

584

:

Jen: And then I print out an agenda,

literally all the things I've added, I

585

:

print it out and I put the date on it and

we sit down as a family and we all listen.

586

:

And I will bring up one

thing on the agenda.

587

:

We talk about it and Then I

assign to whomever is responsible.

588

:

Most often it's mom or dad.

589

:

Okay, Eric, you're going to look

into this sporting event and

590

:

see, they really want to do this.

591

:

I'm going to look into

this, whatever it is.

592

:

And and then we, I print it

out and I get a copy to Eric

593

:

and I give a copy to myself.

594

:

And then I leave that

out on my command center.

595

:

And throughout the week, I'll be like,

okay, did I get these things done?

596

:

Did I sign that kid up?

597

:

Did I schedule this or that?

598

:

And.

599

:

The beauty of it too is we can

bring up things like mom, you often

600

:

say that you are not prepared to

make that decision, which I do, I

601

:

say that if they ask me something,

I'm like, and I can't answer it.

602

:

I'm not prepared to make that decision.

603

:

But you've given us that

answer quite a few times.

604

:

I need a decision and I'm

like, okay, you're right.

605

:

And so in the family meeting

is the time where I'm like, I

606

:

will make a decision on this.

607

:

If they have something that, a child

is having a sibling conflict and

608

:

I keep asking you to ask me before

you use this and you don't do it,

609

:

it hurts my feelings and I don't

feel respected and we can sit down.

610

:

Nobody's angry about it.

611

:

The emotions are not high.

612

:

We can have a discussion.

613

:

Mom and dad are there to offer advice

as well, and they can talk it through.

614

:

It has been so wonderful because I'm

not dealing with it in the moment

615

:

where I'm stressed and it's crazy.

616

:

We can deal with it as a family and

they and also they know that good

617

:

things happen in family meetings.

618

:

So we just recently told them

that we want 22nd anniversary.

619

:

And so they're, We were like, we

have a family meeting and we're going

620

:

to talk, and so we say we're going

to Switzerland, like that's a fun

621

:

thing, but they also get bad things

mentioned on family meetings too.

622

:

So we love it.

623

:

And I keep the agendas, it's fun

to see and to look back and be like

624

:

the things that were on their hearts

are that we needed to accomplish.

625

:

been helpful.

626

:

Stephanie: I love it.

627

:

I used to do family meetings I learned it

when I was having my student teaching.

628

:

They would call it a parking lot

where there was first, let's talk

629

:

about things that are going really

well in our home or in our classroom.

630

:

Then let's talk about some things where

you see an opportunity for growth.

631

:

And it was really amazing how

insightful the students were.

632

:

I've done it a couple times as a family,

but I think I realized, Oh, they were too

633

:

little and I need to, you inspired me.

634

:

I need to re institute it.

635

:

And then there was a section for,

do we need to make any changes

636

:

going forward and then a section

for, do you have any questions?

637

:

I loved what you said is these things

build up in their hearts when you were

638

:

sharing this with me the first time you

said The things that build up in their

639

:

hearts that sometimes are overwhelming

for us to handle in the day to day But

640

:

you're making sure it doesn't build up

in their hearts and so just it teaches

641

:

them that there's such a value to

But in a way that works for everyone.

642

:

I think it's a really beautiful idea.

643

:

Betsy: My daughter had her son be

gluten free because she felt that

644

:

this would be better for his health.

645

:

And he was gluten free for quite a while.

646

:

I would say maybe a year and a half.

647

:

And then he decided, Mom, I don't

want to be gluten free anymore.

648

:

Actually, in the long run,

it turned out he was lactose

649

:

intolerant, not gluten free.

650

:

But My daughter doesn't eat gluten at all.

651

:

And so she was, you know

how it is with your kids.

652

:

Something's not quite right and

you're trying to help figure it out.

653

:

He was gluten free and he finally

said, Mom, I really don't think That

654

:

not having gluten makes a difference

and she wasn't convinced but she

655

:

said you can write me a paper.

656

:

You can write me a rationale

And do your research

657

:

and he wrote a paper and it was pretty

convincing and she said okay I will

658

:

let you go off being gluten free and

he's fine with gluten now but I think

659

:

it was so interesting because He was a

teenager, so he needed to do the research.

660

:

Sometimes we feel like

we need to figure it out.

661

:

Why is it?

662

:

Can you present to me a rationale

that I will think is reasonable

663

:

to change my mind about this?

664

:

And so

665

:

Doing their

666

:

due diligence.

667

:

And sometimes you can just

see through it as viewer

668

:

manipulation.

669

:

cool.

670

:

I can read

671

:

Oh, they can read that again in 10 years.

672

:

How are you doing?

673

:

Inspired, overwhelmed

a little bit of both.

674

:

We hope that something we've

said sparked a little interest

675

:

for you and inspired you.

676

:

To create a new routine or to tweak

something you already have going.

677

:

Maybe this episode, has you thinking, I

wonder what they do for meal planning.

678

:

I wonder.

679

:

If they have any laundry tips.

680

:

do they have any ideas for summer fun?

681

:

The answer is yes.

682

:

And we've got all of that coming

in the next couple of weeks.

683

:

So stay tuned.

684

:

Stephanie: We know you're busy,

Mama, so we are truly grateful you

685

:

joined us for this episode of Again.

686

:

If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

687

:

foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

688

:

EntrustedMinistries.

689

:

com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

690

:

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

691

:

world, and we want it for you, too.

692

:

Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

693

:

from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

694

:

We're rooting for you.

695

:

To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

696

:

calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good and every work of faith by

697

:

His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

698

:

Him, according to the grace of our God.

699

:

And the Lord Jesus Christ.

700

:

Amen.

701

:

Until we meet again.

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About the Podcast

Again
Biblical Motherhood Untangled
So much of what we do as mothers is on repeat. Join us to redeem this repetition and untangle from the confusion and overwhelm of parenting. We'll follow the Agains in the Bible to focus on the things that matter most. Let's look up together to embrace a motherhood full of freedom and joy! This podcast is sponsored by Entrusted Ministries.

About your host

Profile picture for Stephanie Hickox

Stephanie Hickox

Stephanie has always delighted in God’s Word and in sharing it with others. Whether it is equipping mothers and leaders through Entrusted with a Child’s Heart, inspiring students when teaching at homeschool co-ops or children’s ministry, or homeschooling her own children, Stephanie’s life mission is to encourage others to follow faithfully and joyfully after Jesus—especially if they hold her favorite job title: mom.

Betsy Corning wrote Entrusted with a Child’s Heart in 1999 in response to the needs she saw in families as she and David counseled young parents just a few years behind them. Entrusted has been taught in hundreds of churches nationwide, been translated into several foreign languages, and has made its way around the world. More recently, Betsy received her Masters in Biblical Studies from The Master’s University and is developing a new Bible Study program called Get the Word Out. Her passion for God’s Word, discipleship, and teaching biblical principles as they apply to family life has remained strong to this day. One of the greatest blessings in Betsy’s life are her three grown children, their spouses, and ten grandchildren that keep her constantly in touch with every age and stage.

Jen Freckman Is an incredible wealth of wisdom. She will tell you a natural remedy for just about anything! She is also a voracious reader and she is just overflowing with quotes and guidance that she's encountered through reading and being faithful. She delights in her children and is a devoted mother. She is also an amazingly creative problem solver! Her solutions to manage her home and guide her children are inspiring.

Emily Deyo is such a treasure. She is an incredible encourager and servant-hearted woman. When she has the mic in front of her, so much value comes out! She is a wordsmith and her heart consistently beats for how she can encourage and serve others. She is a truly loving and attentive mother.

Join Betsy, Emily, Jen, and Stephanie as they share the wisdom only Scripture and on-the-job training can provide to help untangle the joyful calling of motherhood.