Episode 8

full
Published on:

27th Sep 2023

Untangling Our Children's Influences: Guiding and Guarding Our Greatest Gifts

Motherhood at home is difficult enough... but guiding our children in this constantly-changing world is next-level complicated! In this episode Betsy, Emily, Jen, and Steph discuss overarching principles for pointing our children to Christ wherever they may be. (This episode corresponds with Entrusted with a Child's Heart: Lesson 3.)

Scriptures Mentioned:

Psalm 119:1-16

Psalm 119:37

1 Corinthians 3:6

Ezekiel 33:5-6

1 Corinthians 15:33

Ephesians 6:10-18

Psalm 127:1

Transcript
Speaker:

They're the joyful agains our children

shout on the swings, the exhausting

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agains of cooking and laundry, and

the difficult agains of discipline.

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So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

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So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

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to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

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We believe God's word is

the key to untangle from the

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confusion and overwhelm we feel.

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Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

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This episode of again, is brought

to you by interested ministries.

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And I'm your host, Stephanie Hickox today.

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I am joined by our entire

cast of amazing women.

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We've got Betty Corning,

Emily DL and Jen Frackman.

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And we'll be discussing, guiding your

children amidst outside influences.

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In a previous episode, we talked about

common influences for us as mothers.

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And today we'll focus about how to

guide our children towards pursuing

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and loving Christ regardless of

their circumstance and situation.

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We're going to be discussing

the tug of two realms.

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From interested with the

child's heart chapter three.

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We can either be pulled towards

righteousness and Christ-like

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behavior or towards unrighteousness

and worldly influence.

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We're never just standing still.

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And as many of our kids are

settling into new routines at

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school sports or activities.

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We think this is a great time to

evaluate their outside influences.

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So, thanks for joining us for this latest

episode of the untangled series, where

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we're untangling biblical motherhood.

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Let's get to it

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Steph: let's start off with a fun

question aunt Betsy, what was your

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favorite game to play or way to

spend time when you were younger?

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Betsy: Well, I have to

admit, I love to read books

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my sisters and mom.

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We played a lot of solitaire,

which wasn't really solitaire.

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It was playing with two,

three, or four people.

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Or even more sometimes.

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It was really fast fun.

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And we played some Parcheesi

and Rook Monopoly, which we've

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all played and we just had fun.

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We had fun making things,

being creative with things.

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My sister and I, my younger sister

especially, we would make what we called

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Barbie houses with pieces of carpet for

the floors for the rooms and then we would

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make the furniture and we didn't really

even have Barbies or play with the towels.

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We just made the houses and we would keep

them out for a week all over the floor.

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And another thing we did a lot was

we would make cookies and dye the

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cookie dough and then make very

elaborate cookies like bowls of

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fruit and hats with flowers and all

kinds of things, but it was so fun.

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It was, I guess, our play doh

that we ate, kind of, right?

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Jen: that's amazing.

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Betsy: Still use that recipe.

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Steph: How about you, Jen?

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How did you like to spend your time

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Jen: I definitely like to be outside.

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Anything that was Outdoors, playing with

neighbor kids, swinging on our backyard

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tire swing swimming, riding bikes.

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I remember we would ride bikes.

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My dad worked in a factory

and so he would get home at 3.

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30 every day and by 4.

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30 we were done eating dinner

and we would go take a bike ride.

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And it was so fun.

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So anything that was outside

is definitely how I would want

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to spend my time as a kid.

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Steph: That's great.

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I'm going to have some similar

answers to Aunt Betsy because you.

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and my mom like to do the same things,

and so I think she passed those things

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on to me, I liked Play Doh a lot.

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Definitely cards and games.

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That was a big one.

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Bike rides.

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My mom and I would take these walks

in our neighborhood and We would look

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at the houses and we would say, okay,

if you could only change one thing

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about each house, what would you do?

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Jen: okay i it

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Steph: we just

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design and, things like that.

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So those are some fun memories

that were really pretty regular.

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Betsy: My son Lee said to me one time,

you know, you kind of grow up as the

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inside child or an outside child.

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And I think I can see

the, the difference here.

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I mean, we did outside things

of course, but mostly I think

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I was kind of an inside.

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Steph: sure, All right,

Emily, how about you?

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What was your favorite way to

spend time when you were a child?

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Emily: Swing in the backyard.

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We had a huge tree out back and my

dad put a huge rope swing up and we

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spent hours on that swing, my brother

and I that and playing in the creek.

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We had a creek out back and we would

explore the creek and pull treasures

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out and we would hide them in the

hole of a tree and tuck them in.

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And we said it was our time capsule,

but in our childhood that we played

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on the swing and in the creek,

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Steph: I want say ding, ding, ding.

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That is the correct answer on this show.

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Swinging on the swing.

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Jen: that's great.

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Steph: Aw, that's fun.

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Jen, you said something

about swinging too, right?

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I'm sure we all loved it.

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The question is, can you still handle

it as you're aging I get a little bit

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of motion sickness now if I go for long.

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Jen, we've talked about you homeschool

your children and so it looks different

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in your home But we're always releasing

our children in a wise way So what

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does that look like in your home?

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And what are some guidelines

that you've set up?

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Jen: Sure, we I would think the first

thing that we think about whenever we're

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talking with our kids is making sure

that they first and foremost have a solid

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biblical understanding of how the world

works, Even memorizing scripture, things

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into their hearts so that when we do send

them out and they're in the world, that

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they have the firm foundation of Christ's

words and scriptures in their heart and

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in their minds so that they can protect

them and guard them and give them wisdom

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to speak into different relationships

and conversations that they have.

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Just trying to make sure that, We're not

guarding them from every conversation

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of anybody who might not think the same

way as us, you know, not, definitely

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not that, but when they do encounter

somebody that might be speaking falsely

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or against what scripture would say, that

they would realize That, that's error and

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that, that is not what God's word says.

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And so they're equipped by having

the scriptures and, and definitely,

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you know, we've done Awana for years.

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We've done scripture memory, anything

that we can to, whenever we're reading

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the Bible, just trying to apply it

to the everyday of life of how they

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might encounter this in culture or

in friendships or, you know, even at

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the grocery store, because people at

the grocery store even can stop and

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talk and give their opinion on things.

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Steph: Absolutely.

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Yep.

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Especially around Christmas time right?

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Mm hmm.

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Jen: for sure.

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Yeah, the whole,

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what is Santa going to bring you today?

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That type of

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Steph: Yep.

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You have to be prepared

for all those things.

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Betsy: Well, how about the music in

I was in a store the other day and

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I couldn't believe the words of I

thought, do they really know what

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they're projecting out into their store?

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The meanings are And of course people are

bringing their children into these stores

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and they're listening to these words and

they're probably singing these words.

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And they don't even they're saying

It's pretty, it's pretty eye opening

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if you listen to some of the songs.

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Steph: it is.

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And there are, there are those soundtracks

or CDs that they'll take pop hits and

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then have kids sing them, but they'll

edit out inappropriate words, but they

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don't edit inappropriate concepts.

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And it's really shocking me sometimes

the things that they're having children

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sing, and now all of a sudden it's

supposed to be okay because they

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took out the Lord's name in vain.

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It's like, it's, it's not a song children

should be singing, and, and I think

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that's, it's so deceptive, isn't it?

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Betsy: Very much.

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I think Jen's point is a good

one that we want to be proactive.

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we want to set a firm foundation

before we have to be reactive.

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Before kids have thought about

something, gotten involved in

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something, seen something, and then

we're having a reactive situation.

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There will be those.

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Don't mistake that there

will be those situations.

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Just prepare yourself as a mother to know?

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that there will be some situations

that you wouldn't wish for your kids

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to have to deal with, but they will.

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And, but the more that you have set that

foundation of this is how we think, this

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is our worldview as believers in the

Lord, you will set them on a course.

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that guards against that.

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I think you know, Jen, I

heard her say once saying yes.

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is also saying no to something

else, to the opposite thing.

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And in entrusted, about

the tug of two realms.

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What, what are you involved in?

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Is it pulling you more towards

the Lord, or is it pulling

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you more away from the Lord?

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What friends that with and the thing that

you watched and the thing that you heard?

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Does that make you think more about

the Lord, or does it pull you away?

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And I think that's an important thing

for kids to think about because if we are

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watching their progressive sanctification

and they're moving more in the Way.

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of the Lord as they get older, it

really, they're not even interested

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in going that other direction.

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There's the tug two realms that we

really have to help our children with.

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Jen: Totally.

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Emily: Always that tug.

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We, it seems at the beginning of

every school year evaluate kind

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of what talks we need to have.

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Going into whatever grade

it is we're going into.

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And so, you know, our son is

going to be a junior this year.

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And so we were just talking the

other night about what talks

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we need to have before school.

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They know where we stand with

all of the things that we've laid

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out for years, but you always are

adjusting and tweaking these little

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things situationally that come up.

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As they progress in age.

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And so we always kind of evaluate where

they're at each year and sit down and

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have a conversation about the things

that may arise, boyfriends, girlfriends

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parties even getting to know the parents

of our children's friends, we've always

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tried to invest in those relationships.

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So we know the homes that they'll

be going into and, and so we always

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evaluate where, where we're at

and have continuing conversations

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as we enter into the school year.

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And we always, even though our

kids are older, and this may seem

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silly, we establish the routine,

get, you know, a couple weeks

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before school, reestablish bedtimes.

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And all of those kinds of things

because, you know, we're in summer mode.

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And so we reevaluate all

of those things as well.

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It's just a nice time to really gain

perspective of the season you're entering

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into, what you need to do to kind of

nest and make sure it's successful.

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And so it's kind of a

refreshing time of reevaluation

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for families.

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That's an excellent idea.

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Jen: I

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love that idea.

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I love that.

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That is like so wise and so practical and

so easy to do, but when maybe you start

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the year without realizing like, Oh,

you're another year older, there's going

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to be new things that you're exposed to

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Betsy: not only that, but, you

know, you're trying to be proactive,

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but then you find out that kids

are learning these things younger

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and younger and younger, and the

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danger is that kids

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Betsy: minds aren't necessarily

ready to receive the information

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Jen: That's great.

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I'm actually reading this book

called Your Teenager is Not Crazy.

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It's a really good book

from a Christian worldview.

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But one of The things that they

said was that teenagers learn best

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by given going through real life

scenarios and real life examples.

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And so, you Instead of saying, don't

do this, you kind of can tell a story

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to your teen and be like, you know,

this and this and this happened or

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this and this and this could happen

because imagine what this would

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look like if this and this and this.

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And so you can kind of paint the

picture for them through a story,

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which is exactly what God did.

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He is constantly talking in stories when

Jesus was on this earth, you know, So

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Yeah,

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exactly.

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So I thought that was kind of cool and

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so applicable to the back to school

with being like, okay, you're in a new

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grade, a new year for you, new friends,

new teachers, all of those things.

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And what are some, you know, experiences

or what are some situations that

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you could be in and how do you

think you'll handle it when what if

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this were to happen?

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Steph: I know you said earlier the

tug of two realms, but scripture

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also says all things are permissible,

but not all things are beneficial.

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So saying this might be something

that feels neutral, but is it really?

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And evaluating the pull that it has on us.

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Jen, you said earlier, that focus on

Christ, that we're not just talking

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about sheltering or avoiding, you know,

experiences with temptation or evil.

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We're talking about

filling up with the Lord.

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And I think Psalm 119 is just the most

beautiful chapter to meditate upon.

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And I, the entire chapter is so beautiful

because of the reliance upon God's word.

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You know, this is the way to stay pure.

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And so I'm just going to read

some of those verses from

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the beginning of the chapter.

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Blessed are those whose way is blameless,

who walk in the law of the Lord.

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Blessed are those who keep his

testimonies, who seek him with

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their whole heart, who also do

no wrong, but walk in his ways.

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You have commanded your

precepts to be kept diligently.

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Oh, that my ways may be steadfast

in keeping your statutes.

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Then I shall not be put to shame, having

my eyes fixed on all your commandments.

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I will praise you with an upright heart

when I learn your righteous rules.

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I will keep your statutes.

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Do not utterly forsake me.

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How can a young man keep his way pure?

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By guarding it according to your word.

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With my whole heart I seek you.

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Let me not wander from your commandments.

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I have stored up thy word in your

heart that I might not sin against you.

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Blessed are you, O Lord,

teach me your statutes.

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With my lips I declare all

the rules of your mouth.

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In the way of your testimonies I

delight as much as in all riches.

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I will meditate on your precepts

and fix my eyes on your ways.

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I will delight in your statutes.

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I will not forget your word.

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And so if our kids are continually

reading words like that, the truths

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of scripture, that it's God's

precepts and meditating on them.

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That keeps us from temptation.

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That's how we can have an upright heart,

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And even the prayers in

that, I love to ask God.

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Fill me with a desire for your word.

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Help me to honor and glorify you.

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Later in the chapter it says,

I will run in the path of your

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commandment when you enlarge my heart.

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And so, teaching them to pray the words of

scripture to help them stay faithful when

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they do enter a challenging situation.

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Emily: I

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love the verse that said, that talked

about how can a young man keep his way?

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I think it was.

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And it said by guarding his heart, I

I found myself recently in a certain

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situation and I thought, Oh Lord,

I just want a bubble for my kids.

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I don't want to guard their heart.

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I just want to like bubble them.

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And so I love that verse about

guarding your children's heart.

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But we can't.

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There is no way we can bubble wrap

them from this world, but we can equip

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them with the Word of God that will

guard their heart and, and ultimately

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give discernment and wisdom if they,

if they choose to dwell in the Word.

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So that was an encouraging word,

even to me, where I'm at right now.

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Betsy: Well, I like what

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Steffi said when she said run.

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So you run from the temptation always.

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If our kids know that we run

this that is going to pull them

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in the way of righteousness.

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At first we, they might be taking

little baby steps, but they're

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going in the right direction.

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And then as we see their faithfulness

to that, living in obedience.

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They learn how to walk in

righteousness with the Lord.

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And I think that really

guards a child's heart.

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It really, really does.

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Of course, you know, we're

talking about all ages here.

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We could even talk about ourselves and our

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husbands and

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Betsy: our purity before the Lord.

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And are we accountable in

the things that we're doing?

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Some I used to always say, if, if

our kids can't watch this movie,

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that our teenagers are 15 year old.

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Then we're not going to watch it.

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It's just not, it's

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really not going to be edifying

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Steph: hmm,

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Betsy: to us.

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And that's true.

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There's so much, so many things out

there that really aren't edifying.

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I think my kids would have heard

me say that a thousand times.

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Okay, it's popular, but is it edifying?

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Does it build you up in the

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Lord?

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Steph: Right.

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And modeling those, having those

conversations of, this is what I

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avoid because I know my heart is

sensitive explaining to them that

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I do the same thing for my faith.

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And it's not, it's not an insult

to their faith that we're putting

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guardrails up saying, this is just

what wisdom does as a believer.

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You avoid certain things so that

you can draw closer to the Lord.

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I have three very justice oriented

little boys in my home and it's been

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really interesting to teach them strong

convictions and then also to teach

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them to be gracious with others and and

not that they Would claim that they're

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following, every standard perfectly,

but it's just really interesting

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sometimes how dogmatic they can be.

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I've had to learn the kind of that balance

of, yes, this is a standard in our home.

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Other families might choose to use

words that we don't use and we don't

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need to hold them to that standard.

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There might be a loving way you can

correct them, but if people haven't

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brought their lives under submission

to Christ, we would not expect

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their lives to look, like ours and.

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And so we've just had some

interesting situations as I'm trying

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to teach my children, what does

it look like to share your faith

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or, or to share your convictions?

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How do we do that in a

gracious and loving way?

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And in almost to the point, sometimes

I'm like, all right, now I just

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want you to love them with actions.

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Your words have been very strong.

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And I love that you

have strong convictions.

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And even in that, I'm excited.

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My little boys, are going to lead

families hopefully someday, right?

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And so when they have strong convictions

to embrace that, but to also teach them

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gentleness in it but just in case there

are any mamas out there who have Peters in

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their home and you feel like, oh man, that

came across a little differently to others

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than I intended, I can certainly relate.

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Jen: Okay.

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One of the things that we've spoken

to our kids is actually in Psalm

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119, I think it's verse 37 that says,

we turn our eyes from evil things.

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out in public, if they're you

know, at school, at a co op or

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anywhere where we are with other

friends, and Our, our family values,

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our family rules still apply.

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If we didn't allow you to have then

you shouldn't be looking at a friend's

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phone while at, out in public.

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And if there is something that we are,

even driving to Michigan, we will often

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see billboards or out on, you know, road

trips, we'll see billboards and I will.

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Be like, Oh guys, look, and I'll point to

the opposite direction of like something

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else to look at, you know, just trying to

turn their eyes from these evil things.

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Betsy: I said to David one particular

state we are never driving through

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again with kids because it was so

inappropriate , and I don't know

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how they thought that was okay.

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Steph: Daniel Huerta, he works for

Focus on the Family and I just had

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the blessing of hearing him speak at a

homeschooling conference and he said he

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needed to walk through a mall with his

young son and he knew we've got to walk

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past that store and it's coming up and

so he said, Honey, I want you to look.

369

:

Do you see the light at

the end of that hallway?

370

:

I want you to.

371

:

Fix your eyes on that light

and we're going to keep

372

:

walking toward the light, okay?

373

:

And so they got past the store

and he saw his son turn and look.

374

:

So when they got a little bit farther,

he stopped and he said, you know, he

375

:

looked at his son and he could tell

his son looked a little ashamed.

376

:

And he said, you know, did you, were you

able to keep your eyes fixed on the light?

377

:

And he's like, no, daddy, I looked.

378

:

He's like, okay, so how did

you feel when you looked?

379

:

And he talked through

the experience with him.

380

:

And I thought, He just spoke of it so

beautifully of, he didn't shame him, you

381

:

know, he recognized that of course the

temptation is there, and he used it as

382

:

a teaching moment, like a silver platter

moment, like you talk about an entrusted,

383

:

but I think making sure that we're

available to talk through the experiences

384

:

that our children are having, wherever it

may be, I think that's really important.

385

:

It could be after a church sleepover,

it could be after they went to your best

386

:

friend's house that you trust implicitly.

387

:

Just making time to process through the

different experiences they're having

388

:

so that if things are coming up, you're

using it as a teachable moment and that

389

:

you're not taken aback years later at

something, that flew under the radar.

390

:

Maybe counseling is needed.

391

:

Maybe you need to go deeper with it.

392

:

Betsy: Yeah, and to that end, I would like

to say that if any mother has somebody

393

:

asked them if their child can come to

this or come to that, and they feel the

394

:

pressure, and maybe their child doesn't

even want to go especially, but they're

395

:

feeling the pressure because maybe

the aunt or the uncle or the cousin.

396

:

wants them to come, it's a camp out or

whatever it is, and you don't feel right

397

:

about it, don't make your child go.

398

:

Especially if your child

doesn't want to go.

399

:

Your child has a sense about it, he

doesn't want to, she doesn't want to be

400

:

put in a particular situation, and if the

mom has that sense and the child doesn't

401

:

even, but the mom does, then don't do it.

402

:

I can tell you.

403

:

So many heartbreaking instances where

somebody will tell me after the fact, I

404

:

had a bad feeling about but I let them go.

405

:

And their children are struggling

with something that happened that.

406

:

trip or that overnight or whatever it was.

407

:

Jen: Huh.

408

:

Betsy: You just have to really be careful,

really watch who your children are with

409

:

when they're, when they're not with you.

410

:

We don't want to keep

them so, so isolated.

411

:

But, we also want to be really careful.

412

:

If we have a feeling don't have them go.

413

:

And you can just say, said I can't go.

414

:

Emily: That is such a good word.

415

:

That's such a good word.

416

:

I think though we've had recent

conversations that what we call, you

417

:

know, those gut feelings with, with

our kids, with my youngest, especially,

418

:

I think it's often the Holy Spirit's

prompting Because he's, he's telling

419

:

us, we ask him for discernment, we ask

him for wisdom, and he tells us in those

420

:

moments, and we still doubt, oh, is that,

am I, am I, am I just overthinking it?

421

:

But I do think it's the Holy Spirit

prompting in those kinds of situations

422

:

and I think it's so important to listen to

423

:

that.

424

:

betsy-5duhojdvc_betsy-2023-7-2619-17-56:

Agreed.

425

:

Jen: There's a quote from a book that I

read called The Duties of Parents by J.

426

:

C.

427

:

Ryle, and it says, Do not fear

withholding anything from your child

428

:

that you think will do him harm,

whatever his own wishes may be.

429

:

So even if.

430

:

You know, we all are fighting our

children, I'm sure, at some point

431

:

about cell phones and what age they

get to get one and what age they don't.

432

:

But if we feel in our hearts that the

Holy Spirit is saying this is not going to

433

:

benefit them, this is going to harm them

more at this age, don't fear withholding

434

:

that because culture doesn't withhold it,

but allow the Lord to be the guide home

435

:

stephanie-1mxoasmux_stephanie-2023-7-2619-17-56:

Mm hmm.

436

:

Jen: culture.

437

:

Betsy: said.

438

:

can you even read that more?

439

:

Jen: Do not fear withholding anything

from your child that you think will do

440

:

him harm, whatever his own wishes may

441

:

Steph: Yeah, amen.

442

:

Mm hmm.

443

:

Betsy: That sums up a lot

444

:

Jen: Yeah.

445

:

Betsy: we don't have to worry, I

mean we do, have to worry things

446

:

but we can certainly trust the Lord

in many things, but it's not just

447

:

purity that we're talking about.

448

:

There are other areas of life that are

important to guard a child's heart.

449

:

in and I think some of those

are just a Christian worldview.

450

:

A worldview in a child is formed

pretty much by age nine and

451

:

pretty much solidified by age

13 according to George Barna.

452

:

And so we really want to Be helping

develop a strong biblical Christian

453

:

worldview with young children.

454

:

It's that foundation that

Jen was talking about.

455

:

We're going to help

them memorize scripture.

456

:

We're going to help them learn truth.

457

:

We're going to be there to guide them.

458

:

And then another one is just their

view of money and possessions.

459

:

Do they own them or they are

really all belong to God?

460

:

This is something that we have

to teach our children to guard

461

:

their hearts and minds about.

462

:

very important.

463

:

Another one might be just how

easily do you follow the crowd?

464

:

How easily are you seduced?

465

:

How easily are you just

pulled in to be the follower?

466

:

or can you stand up?

467

:

Can you stand by conviction?

468

:

Can you remain alert?

469

:

Can you stand up for the

person that being bullied?

470

:

Jen: So

471

:

Betsy: it has to do guarding their

hearts just with their convictions.

472

:

Can they be people of convictions?

473

:

Can they stand up for

the things of the Lord?

474

:

Another one we talked about

already, morality and purity.

475

:

And that's a big one.

476

:

Two other ones.

477

:

Discretion or overexposure to

technology and electronics.

478

:

I think we could probably spend

a good amount of time on this.

479

:

It's not just seeing the wrong things.

480

:

Sometimes it's just seeing

too much of something.

481

:

And the last one, the fear of versus

fascination with the mysticism,

482

:

which is a huge trendy thing right

now in books and movies, mysticism.

483

:

So anybody want to address any of

these six areas that we address in

484

:

Emily: I would say, attach being a

follower and having discernment there

485

:

with also seeking out good friendships

and not just following the crowd,

486

:

but seeking friendships that are,

that are strong and and edifying.

487

:

All children are different.

488

:

Some children are leader, leaders,

some children are followers and parents

489

:

know, parents know which they have.

490

:

And so that discussion

might be a little more.

491

:

important to take it a little further

for some than it is for others.

492

:

And so especially our young men,

which I'm so burdened for lately,

493

:

but especially our young men talking

to them about being strong leaders.

494

:

And of course with, with with wisdom,

but not always just being a follower,

495

:

but leading and leading well in, in a

strong and God centered masculine way.

496

:

Jen: That's great.

497

:

I also think of influence, like how

many good we get in our kids lives?

498

:

You know, they they talk about

that you're the average of What the

499

:

six people that you are around the

most and and if you average that

500

:

out That's about who you will be.

501

:

And so if that's the case I

want to increase the amount of

502

:

good influences in their life.

503

:

And that reminds me in 1st Corinthians

3 Verse 6 it talks about I planted,

504

:

Apollos watered, but God gave the growth.

505

:

And so Yes, the Lord is the one that's

working in all of their lives, but he also

506

:

allows other people to have an input, to

be able to water, to be able to plant,

507

:

to be able to plant those seeds and those

thoughts into their minds and hearts.

508

:

And so just making sure that us

as parents are planting those

509

:

wonderful seeds in their hearts

and being good influences ourself.

510

:

Another J.

511

:

C.

512

:

Ryle quote, I just love some of his

books, but it says to give children good

513

:

instruction and a bad example is but

beckoning them with the head to show them

514

:

the way to heaven, while we take them by

the hand and lead them in the way to hell.

515

:

No one of us can live

himself in this world.

516

:

We are always influencing those

around us, either for God or for sin.

517

:

Fathers and mothers, do not forget

that children learn more by the

518

:

eye than they do by the ear.

519

:

And just knowing everything that we're

doing is influencing our children.

520

:

When you spend time with them, that's

part of why we went to homeschool.

521

:

We'd have more time to influence them.

522

:

And so when we're spending time with them

and are we influencing them for things of

523

:

the world and, or are we think influencing

them for things of the Lord and the

524

:

ways of the Lord and the ways that he

would have for them his kingdom someday.

525

:

Betsy: My husband, when he played

526

:

football, his coach

527

:

used to say, you, you're either getting

better, Or you're getting worse.

528

:

You never stay the same.

529

:

Any particular day, you are never

staying the same as the day before.

530

:

You're either going a getting

a little bit better, or you're

531

:

falling behind a little bit.

532

:

And I can relate that to our spiritual

lives, and especially as we're

533

:

talking about this tug of two realms.

534

:

Because we don't just sit on.

535

:

one spot.

536

:

We are either pulling, being subtly pulled

one direction and not even realizing it.

537

:

So, I think it is an important

concept to discuss with kids

538

:

and what they're listening to.

539

:

And I, I agree with Emily.

540

:

A huge influence is their friends.

541

:

If they've got great

friends, wow, that is...

542

:

That's awesome because that will help

them stay away from so much and really

543

:

be able to get into fun activities

together where they don't feel the

544

:

pressure to do everything that other

kids are doing, but just almost

545

:

enjoy childhood a little bit longer.

546

:

You know, everything is being

thrown at them so young,

547

:

Jen: Going back to the idea of negative

influences or things that we wouldn't

548

:

want our children to be exposed to or

to be around, in Ezekiel 33, 5 and 6,

549

:

it talks about He heard the sound of

the trumpet and did not take warning.

550

:

His blood shall be upon himself.

551

:

But if he had taken warning,

he would have saved his life.

552

:

But if the watchman sees the sword coming

and does not blow the trumpet so that

553

:

the people are not warned and the sword

comes and takes any one of them, that

554

:

person is taken away in his iniquity.

555

:

But his blood I will require

at the watchman's hand.

556

:

And I just think of us as parents.

557

:

We're those watchmen.

558

:

Our job and our duty is to make sure that

we are doing everything we can to tell our

559

:

kids like, look, this is evil, not this.

560

:

That, choose this, not that,

or be aware Satan is out there.

561

:

He's lurking, or the seductive

woman is just around the corner.

562

:

Be careful.

563

:

And constantly being that watchman

and allowing them to know that like.

564

:

It's not an easy walk through life

without any conflict or without any

565

:

temptation, and to be watchful, to

be mindful, and to take every thought

566

:

captive, and to take every relationship.

567

:

Is this a relationship

that I can be pouring into?

568

:

Actually, as I was reading in my

devotions this morning, it was talking

569

:

about I think it was in 1 Corinthians

15, it said, 33 talks about bad

570

:

company corrupts good character.

571

:

And then it goes on to say, some

of them have no knowledge of

572

:

God, and that is to your shame.

573

:

so when we're talking with our kids,

like, Yes, the people that don't have

574

:

knowledge of the Lord, you can take

that, depending on the age of the child,

575

:

obviously, and whether that's appropriate,

but you can take that situation where

576

:

they have no knowledge of the Lord

and you can tell them about the Lord.

577

:

You can use that as a way to introduce

Jesus to them and, and to not have that

578

:

be to our shame for not having them

know something about the Lord and all

579

:

of these situations, you have a choice

to make when you're in a hard situation.

580

:

Are you going to?

581

:

Encourage that brother or encourage

that stranger to walk towards the Lord,

582

:

or are you just going to kind of bow

out and shyly walk away and ignore it?

583

:

How are you going to handle that,

and what way can you do that it would

584

:

be the most glorifying to the Lord?

585

:

Silence.

586

:

Steph: I love that scripture.

587

:

It makes me think of, one of the

most common things my dad told us

588

:

growing up, he was a Marine and

589

:

he'd say if there were two soldiers

that got into a fight, who gets

590

:

in the most amount of trouble?

591

:

Is it the soldier who threw

the punch first or who

592

:

retaliated?

593

:

And we'd be like, well, probably

the one first, but he'd say no.

594

:

It was the one who was watching

and didn't step in and stop it.

595

:

And he always told us, you

don't stand by and watch.

596

:

And, just as Emily was talking

about, we have leaders or followers.

597

:

We are going to have probably one child

or two children that would just be the

598

:

one who's going to stay on the sideline.

599

:

Maybe they're not.

600

:

Being as tempted, but

are they guiding others?

601

:

Are they being a positive influence?

602

:

Emily: Yes, and you'll never regret having

all of these talks with your children.

603

:

I love, I can't remember what a chapter

it is, but in Entrusted Betsy, you broke

604

:

it down so beautifully into the ages

that progression of maturity and what

605

:

they, and what it looks like as far as

discipleship goes in those different

606

:

seasons and really, you know, we just have

this precious amount of time to learning.

607

:

Pour and pour and pour into them

and it changes with each season.

608

:

It looks a little different,

but but the Lord entrusted us

609

:

with them to pour into them.

610

:

And and we should be taking every

advantage and not be discouraged by the

611

:

number of talks that we need to have,

but be encouraged because they're placed

612

:

in our care with purpose and reason.

613

:

And And these talks will,

they're never in vain.

614

:

So so that's an encouraging word

as you look through the different

615

:

seasons and what it may look like.

616

:

Steph: We're going to have

these daily, constant sources

617

:

of material to talk about, right?

618

:

And so keeping that close relationship

with your kids, making sure that

619

:

you really have their heart.

620

:

It's not about demanding

a certain behavior.

621

:

It's about really...

622

:

Pointing their heart towards the

Lord and that they know that you're

623

:

for them, that you are trying to set

them up for success in this world and

624

:

that you want them to run in the path

of the Lord's commandments and, and

625

:

that that brings you such delight.

626

:

So rejoicing with them in the successes

and being gracious with them when

627

:

they do struggle so that they're not

afraid to tell you when they struggle.

628

:

So I think keeping that open communication

is So key and entrusted and one of the

629

:

key principles, and obviously that's

so the heart of the Lord, right?

630

:

he wants us to run to him and be

quick to repent, not to run and hide.

631

:

And so we can model, his gracious,

forgiving heart to our children

632

:

when they fall short and, and

share with them, you know, maybe

633

:

a time that we also fell short.

634

:

Betsy: Just a couple of principles

to remember sort of as overarching

635

:

thoughts when we're working and

thinking about guiding we can't

636

:

guard our children's hearts from

every evil thing we can't isolate and

637

:

protect them from seeing, hearing.

638

:

Even sometimes doing, getting

caught up in certain things.

639

:

But what we have to remember is

that Our hearts are inclined.

640

:

We're not just talking about controlling

outward behavior in our children.

641

:

We're talking about winning their hearts

for the Lord that they themselves Would

642

:

want to live by the, for the Lord by

their own convictions and not mom dad's.

643

:

There comes a time in life when they

own their own faith, when they're not

644

:

taking mom and dad's Faith for granted,

but when we think, well, we can just

645

:

isolate our kids and nothing's going

to happen because I'm going to really,

646

:

really protect them from the world,

that isolation is not, is really not

647

:

the answer because you can be isolated.

648

:

As most major criminals, You

hear their background story

649

:

and they isolated themselves.

650

:

It's because have!

651

:

evil intents in our own hearts, don't we?

652

:

So, I think really well said today

that we take what happens, like looking

653

:

at the store instead of the light.

654

:

We say yes.

655

:

This happened here, but now what can I do?

656

:

I can confess it and I have a way back.

657

:

The gospel is so gracious to say

when you slip, when you fall, this

658

:

is How you have a remedy that God

will you can be restored to the Lord

659

:

and that thing can be gone forever.

660

:

So I think that's a really

important thing to teach our kids.

661

:

When they do fall, there's a way back.

662

:

And also, we have remember

that we can't protect them from

663

:

everything or isolate them.

664

:

I Think our weapons are, Our Ephesians

6, the armor of God, and we talked about

665

:

those things already, a sure foundation

of scripture, the word, good friends, good

666

:

parents, the Holy Spirit to guide us, our

instincts, even the word of God in prayer

667

:

are really direct hits against the enemy.

668

:

Another one is we need to be out

in the world, sharing our faith.

669

:

But we don't need to be overcome by it,

overwhelmed by it, overtaken by it, so

670

:

that it unduly influences us towards

evil, so that it pulls us that opposite

671

:

way that we want to be going, but that

we bring God's perspective to people.

672

:

I know my daughter used to say

when she was in college, she would

673

:

hear somebody talk about something

and she'd say, you really need to

674

:

hear God's perspective about this.

675

:

And really she's saying is, I can counter

that thinking with something Biblical and

676

:

I would really love to share it with you.

677

:

And another one is we aren't

slaves to our instincts.

678

:

In the Lord, we do not have

to follow the instincts.

679

:

We are free.

680

:

And that freedom is great.

681

:

And so often we can get so bogged down

thinking, Oh, the world is horrible.

682

:

We are free in the Lord.

683

:

And it's A wonderful thing.

684

:

It's a wonderful thing.

685

:

And, and, but it can be a challenging

thing to prepare children to live in

686

:

that world and not be swallowed up by it.

687

:

But I believe that the

Lord is with us in it.

688

:

It's, it's what, what Jen said.

689

:

We have a dual partnership in this.

690

:

We're watchmen, but the

Lord is with us in this.

691

:

And it goes along with our very

first verse, Psalm 127 from

692

:

Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

693

:

Yes, it definitely does.

694

:

Unless the Lord builds the house.

695

:

They labor in vain who built it.

696

:

Unless the Lord guards, the city,

the Watchman keeps awake in Maine.

697

:

So I just wanted to say that for

anyone who hasn't taken the class.

698

:

It is so encouraging to know

that we are doing this with the

699

:

Lord and that he is the Watchman.

700

:

And we just would like to say that

these are some overarching principles

701

:

or things that the Lord has put on

our hearts through the years, but

702

:

this is not a comprehensive episode.

703

:

We will definitely be coming back

to specific strategies to tackle.

704

:

These increasingly complicated

issues in our society.

705

:

If you've been blessed by this podcast,

would you consider writing a review?

706

:

And leaving your comments.

707

:

We would love to spread the word to more

moms that are looking for biblical wisdom.

708

:

And the more reviews that we have, the

more this podcast will get recommended.

709

:

So we really appreciate your help in that.

710

:

Also if you have questions that

you would like answered you can

711

:

reach out to us at 1, 2, 4, 0.

712

:

Two zero.

713

:

Again, that's 1, 2, 4 0 2 0 2.

714

:

4 2, 4, 6.

715

:

Or you can head to

interested ministries.com.

716

:

And fill out a contact form.

717

:

Either way.

718

:

. We would love to hear from you

719

:

We know you're busy, Mama, so

we are truly grateful you joined

720

:

us for this episode of Again.

721

:

If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

722

:

foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

723

:

EntrustedMinistries.

724

:

com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

725

:

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

726

:

world, and we want it for you, too.

727

:

Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

728

:

from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

729

:

We're rooting for you.

730

:

To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

731

:

calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good, and every work of faith by

732

:

His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

733

:

Him, according to the grace of our God.

734

:

And the Lord Jesus Christ.

735

:

Amen.

736

:

Until we meet again.

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Again
Biblical Motherhood Untangled
So much of what we do as mothers is on repeat. Join us to redeem this repetition and untangle from the confusion and overwhelm of parenting. We'll follow the Agains in the Bible to focus on the things that matter most. Let's look up together to embrace a motherhood full of freedom and joy! This podcast is sponsored by Entrusted Ministries.

About your host

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Stephanie Hickox

Stephanie has always delighted in God’s Word and in sharing it with others. Whether it is equipping mothers and leaders through Entrusted with a Child’s Heart, inspiring students when teaching at homeschool co-ops or children’s ministry, or homeschooling her own children, Stephanie’s life mission is to encourage others to follow faithfully and joyfully after Jesus—especially if they hold her favorite job title: mom.

Betsy Corning wrote Entrusted with a Child’s Heart in 1999 in response to the needs she saw in families as she and David counseled young parents just a few years behind them. Entrusted has been taught in hundreds of churches nationwide, been translated into several foreign languages, and has made its way around the world. More recently, Betsy received her Masters in Biblical Studies from The Master’s University and is developing a new Bible Study program called Get the Word Out. Her passion for God’s Word, discipleship, and teaching biblical principles as they apply to family life has remained strong to this day. One of the greatest blessings in Betsy’s life are her three grown children, their spouses, and ten grandchildren that keep her constantly in touch with every age and stage.

Jen Freckman Is an incredible wealth of wisdom. She will tell you a natural remedy for just about anything! She is also a voracious reader and she is just overflowing with quotes and guidance that she's encountered through reading and being faithful. She delights in her children and is a devoted mother. She is also an amazingly creative problem solver! Her solutions to manage her home and guide her children are inspiring.

Emily Deyo is such a treasure. She is an incredible encourager and servant-hearted woman. When she has the mic in front of her, so much value comes out! She is a wordsmith and her heart consistently beats for how she can encourage and serve others. She is a truly loving and attentive mother.

Join Betsy, Emily, Jen, and Stephanie as they share the wisdom only Scripture and on-the-job training can provide to help untangle the joyful calling of motherhood.