#51. Parenting Teens and Tweens: Holding Onto Their Hearts as You Let Go of Their Hands | Part 1

Stephanie: 00:00:01

They're the joyful agains our children shout on the swings, the

2

: 00:00:04

exhausting agains of cooking and laundry,

and the difficult agains of discipline.

3

: 00:00:10

So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

4

: 00:00:13

So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

5

: 00:00:16

to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

6

: 00:00:21

We believe God's Word is

the key to untangle from the

7

: 00:00:24

confusion and overwhelm we feel.

8

: 00:00:27

Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

9

: 00:00:33

Welcome back to the again,

podcast from entrusted ministries.

10

: 00:00:37

I'm your host, Stephanie Hickox.

11

: 00:00:39

And today we're going to get a lot

deeper than we have been lately.

12

: 00:00:43

We've had some fun this summer,

staying on the surface with topics like

13

: 00:00:47

laundry, cleaning and meal planning.

14

: 00:00:49

But you know us and we can't

stay there for too long.

15

: 00:00:52

And today's episode, we're going

to talk about the transition

16

: 00:00:55

to teen and tween years.

17

: 00:00:57

And how do we adjust our

parenting as our kids get older?

18

: 00:01:01

We want it to look differently

than the world promises.

19

: 00:01:04

It has to be.

20

: 00:01:05

We know there's a better way.

21

: 00:01:07

And we just want to hold on

to our children's hearts.

22

: 00:01:10

But what does it look

like as you're easing up?

23

: 00:01:12

When they get to older ages?

24

: 00:01:15

You might be in the toddler years

and be tempted to skip past this.

25

: 00:01:18

But I promise you want to start

planting these seeds in your heart.

26

: 00:01:21

So that you're prepared for the

transition when it comes in your home.

27

: 00:01:25

And if you are there, we hope this

will be healing bomb to your soul.

28

: 00:01:28

As Betsy met me in my brokenness

to encourage me that the

29

: 00:01:31

work I'm doing onto the Lord.

30

: 00:01:34

Continues to matter.

31

: 00:01:35

And is bearing fruit.

32

: 00:01:36

This conversation will discuss

the overarching principles

33

: 00:01:40

of raising older children.

34

: 00:01:41

But it also discusses practical topics.

35

: 00:01:44

Like, what about their music choices?

36

: 00:01:46

Do we allow them to select a

different music than we'd prefer?

37

: 00:01:50

What about their rooms?

38

: 00:01:51

Do we let it be messy

because they're older.

39

: 00:01:54

We touched on that a little bit

in the cleaning episode, but we're

40

: 00:01:56

going to continue to talk about it.

41

: 00:01:58

Under the umbrella of easing up our grip.

42

: 00:02:01

And one is too far.

43

: 00:02:02

When do we give consequences?

44

: 00:02:04

part one of that conversation

is coming up next.

45

: 00:02:08

But first that giveaway

I promised you is here.

46

: 00:02:11

To celebrate the fact that we

have completed 50 episodes and

47

: 00:02:15

we are just getting started.

48

: 00:02:17

We want to offer you some amazing gifts

for being such fantastic listeners.

49

: 00:02:22

We truly appreciate your support.

50

: 00:02:24

And we hope that you are being energized

to run the race with endurance.

51

: 00:02:29

We think being a mom is

the vest Java on earth.

52

: 00:02:32

But we also know that it's pretty

exhausting, so we hope you're

53

: 00:02:35

renewed by the words of this podcast.

54

: 00:02:37

And we can't wait to bring you more.

55

: 00:02:39

For our grand prize, we are going to

give a free year long subscription

56

: 00:02:44

to entrusted with a child's

heart, the entire video series.

57

: 00:02:48

If you've been wanting to take this

study and wishing you had someone

58

: 00:02:51

near you doing it now is your chance.

59

: 00:02:54

You can bring it to your church if

you win or you could start your own

60

: 00:02:59

home group, or you could just ask

a friend to do it with you, but it

61

: 00:03:03

can be right in your living room.

62

: 00:03:05

Next we're giving away two copies of

the couples book and trusted with the

63

: 00:03:09

child's heart and a scripture memory CD.

64

: 00:03:12

And next to two winners,

we're going to give away.

65

: 00:03:15

The every day before you say chart pack.

66

: 00:03:18

It is a full two year supply.

67

: 00:03:20

And I am telling you, this is my

favorite system in our home, and

68

: 00:03:24

it's my kids' favorite system.

69

: 00:03:26

It's incredibly motivating.

70

: 00:03:27

And it really helps you target

character in a unique way.

71

: 00:03:32

But not only will you get bet chart pack.

72

: 00:03:34

You'll also get a fridge inventory

checklist pad, so you can get your

73

: 00:03:38

fall kicked off to a great start.

74

: 00:03:40

we've got four great prizes.

75

: 00:03:42

And now for the details.

76

: 00:03:44

There are going to be

three steps to enter.

77

: 00:03:47

Number one, write a review of our podcast

on your favorite podcast platform.

78

: 00:03:52

Take a screenshot and

save that for a second.

79

: 00:03:55

Next.

80

: 00:03:56

Share about the podcast

on Facebook or Instagram.

81

: 00:03:59

You can link our podcast and tell

your friends, why you like to

82

: 00:04:02

listen and how it's encouraged you.

83

: 00:04:04

Perhaps share your favorite episode.

84

: 00:04:06

Then take a screenshot of that.

85

: 00:04:08

Next.

86

: 00:04:09

You're going to email those as well

as tell us what episode topics you'd

87

: 00:04:13

like for us to cover in the future.

88

: 00:04:15

And you can even throw

in a listener question.

89

: 00:04:18

I'll explain all that again and tell you

where to send that information in the show

90

: 00:04:23

notes you've got until September 10th.

91

: 00:04:26

To get.

92

: 00:04:27

To get that checklist completed.

93

: 00:04:30

We can't wait to send those prizes

out to some really deserving mamas.

94

: 00:04:34

And now it's time for that deep dive

into the transition to parenting.

95

: 00:04:38

In the teen and tween years.

96

: 00:04:41

Aunt Betsy, I'm getting the rare

treat of being in your presence.

97

: 00:04:45

We used to live close and got

to see each other regularly.

98

: 00:04:49

And I got to ask you questions

as they would come up.

99

: 00:04:52

And it's been a long time.

100

: 00:04:53

Betsy: Yeah, we used to see

each other very regularly.

101

: 00:04:56

We lived so close.

102

: 00:04:57

Yes.

103

: 00:04:58

And now, not so close.

104

: 00:05:00

Stephanie: That was a huge blessing.

105

: 00:05:01

So I'm going to be like a fire hose.

106

: 00:05:03

of questions, probably, and have been,

so we figured we should hit record.

107

: 00:05:07

I'm thinking of questions that I feel

are a little fuzzy right now that

108

: 00:05:14

I could use some clarity on as I'm

reaching new ages and stages with

109

: 00:05:18

my kids and loosening the reins in

some areas, but also just discerning.

110

: 00:05:24

Is it character issues?

111

: 00:05:25

Is it ability?

112

: 00:05:27

Different things.

113

: 00:05:27

And so these are questions that I

have or even questions I've heard

114

: 00:05:32

coming up in circles recently.

115

: 00:05:35

One thing is I'm always trying

to be consistent and faithful.

116

: 00:05:39

Sometimes, especially as my kids are

getting older, it feels like I'm being

117

: 00:05:45

nitpicky or Things that I know we've

talked about so much and these aren't

118

: 00:05:51

like a black and white issues, obviously,

119

: 00:05:54

Betsy: Nitpicky is such

an interesting word.

120

: 00:05:58

When you really look at it and think about

it and think about the origin of it, it's

121

: 00:06:01

Stephanie: it's

122

: 00:06:01

Betsy: really don't want to be nitpicky.

123

: 00:06:03

But do reach that stage where

we think, I have been pitied.

124

: 00:06:08

teaching you this.

125

: 00:06:09

We've been working on this

and I think we've got it down.

126

: 00:06:13

And then all of a sudden it seems

like kids throw it all out the

127

: 00:06:16

window and you're starting over.

128

: 00:06:17

And that happens pretty much

around the junior high or later

129

: 00:06:21

middle grades, middle school years.

130

: 00:06:24

And there is a truth to backing

off a little bit for kids.

131

: 00:06:29

So if it's a, obviously a moral issue or

a biblical conviction, as we define it

132

: 00:06:35

in entrusted, we are steadfast in those.

133

: 00:06:38

And so we keep those no matter what.

134

: 00:06:40

And those are issues of, the

sanctity of life All those

135

: 00:06:44

kinds of serious moral issues.

136

: 00:06:47

The second one is the personal

convictions, which we can flex on.

137

: 00:06:52

But we live in understanding.

138

: 00:06:55

Still, they are personal family standards.

139

: 00:06:58

That kids should follow in the

house because you as mom and

140

: 00:07:02

dad have decided these are the

things that are important to us.

141

: 00:07:05

These are further applications

of biblical convictions.

142

: 00:07:08

And so this is how our

house is going to be.

143

: 00:07:10

So when they say so and so does this

differently at their house, we can say,

144

: 00:07:14

but this is how we do it this is what mom

and dad decided is best for our family.

145

: 00:07:19

And then going back again to the

Which is personal preferences.

146

: 00:07:24

Those are issues we really can flex on.

147

: 00:07:27

And as long as they're not dominating the

child's they're just becoming something.

148

: 00:07:32

They're idolizing something.

149

: 00:07:34

It's taken an inordinate sort

of control of their lives.

150

: 00:07:38

If it's something that's not

really controlling them, they want

151

: 00:07:41

to experiment with hair color.

152

: 00:07:43

They want to, double pierce their

ears, these kinds of things.

153

: 00:07:46

It's within the parents, judgment

to ease up on these things.

154

: 00:07:52

But as far as other issues that we

think, like Keeping their bedroom neat.

155

: 00:07:57

This is a huge one.

156

: 00:07:59

So how much do we You know, keep

feeling like we're harping on this,

157

: 00:08:05

that we keep saying, you need to

make your bedroom neat, keep your

158

: 00:08:09

bedroom neat, or make your bed.

159

: 00:08:10

I feel like this is the time of life

you can ease back off on those things

160

: 00:08:15

and let them see how much they need

to be have internalized how much they

161

: 00:08:20

do because they like the result of it.

162

: 00:08:23

They might say I really don't care if

my bed is made and you can say okay

163

: 00:08:29

but at a certain point You need to

make your bed at a certain, every two

164

: 00:08:34

weeks we change the sheets that the

bed needs to be made or whatever it is.

165

: 00:08:38

In fact, we Did podcast about

how to clean your room or what

166

: 00:08:43

expectations to have, if any.

167

: 00:08:45

And yes, I think you have to

have some, because after all,

168

: 00:08:49

we always say it is your bed.

169

: 00:08:51

And you want people to respect

property and kids not to just

170

: 00:08:55

take things so for granted.

171

: 00:08:57

So there's a limit there to their

freedom in their, even in their own

172

: 00:09:02

little living space in their bedrooms.

173

: 00:09:04

But Going back again, I refer often to

this continuum in the Entrusted Notebook

174

: 00:09:11

that talks about the parent's role, the

child's role, and a desired outcome.

175

: 00:09:16

And we talk so much in Entrusted

about those first years,

176

: 00:09:21

and it's broken down into

177

: 00:09:23

different phases of life.

178

: 00:09:25

And the first one is zero to

five when they're learning

179

: 00:09:28

how to live under authority.

180

: 00:09:30

And the second phase is

they're being more trained.

181

: 00:09:33

In other words, they're learning.

182

: 00:09:35

Obedience rather than consequences to

disobedience and of course I'm saying this

183

: 00:09:41

really fast but the third one and it hits

around the ages of 13 to 20 and that's

184

: 00:09:46

not a set age of course kids vary very

much But you're teaching more by guidance.

185

: 00:09:54

There's so much less

authority, more guidance.

186

: 00:09:58

And they're learning to respect you and

your rules, and honor their parents.

187

: 00:10:04

And they're growing in character.

188

: 00:10:06

So character isn't something we

necessarily discipline for, but

189

: 00:10:10

it does come at some points where

you do have to give consequences.

190

: 00:10:16

I think we could elaborate on that a

little bit more, but I think the main

191

: 00:10:20

point we want to make here is that you do

ease up a little bit in those years on the

192

: 00:10:27

things, certainly on the things you can

flex on, which are personal preferences,

193

: 00:10:31

but also in the decisions in their life.

194

: 00:10:34

So I'm going to let you decide how

to spend this money and let's see if

195

: 00:10:39

you spend it wisely or not and then

come back and we'll have a discussion.

196

: 00:10:44

Or you make this decision.

197

: 00:10:46

You make this big decision and then

we'll discuss it and see how it went.

198

: 00:10:51

You're giving them the freedom,

even the freedom to fail, but those

199

: 00:10:56

are great learning experiences.

200

: 00:10:58

If

201

: 00:10:58

we constantly expect or require that

they follow a certain, law or expectation

202

: 00:11:05

all the time, then we're really going

to raise people that are just externally

203

: 00:11:10

living for the Lord and not internally.

204

: 00:11:12

They have to learn how to make

mistakes and then we learn how to

205

: 00:11:16

respond to those mistakes, but in

a way that's helping them grow and

206

: 00:11:20

make the wiser decision next time.

207

: 00:11:23

So there's a lot less control.

208

: 00:11:26

in those years.

209

: 00:11:28

I hope that makes an

understanding for that little bit.

210

: 00:11:32

We can go into that so much

further, whatever question

211

: 00:11:36

that brings to your mind.

212

: 00:11:38

Stephanie: Sure.

213

: 00:11:40

It's always helpful to have these Reviews

because I feel like there are certain

214

: 00:11:43

principles in entrusted that I think I

have down so much and then all of a sudden

215

: 00:11:47

you realize, oh, I'm needing to apply that

to a new phase and really thinking about

216

: 00:11:53

the biblical convictions and the personal

convictions and that really, even as your

217

: 00:11:58

children are starting to own their faith,

that you're Personal convictions are still

218

: 00:12:04

trumping in your home that's helpful,

219

: 00:12:06

Betsy: I think what you're saying

is you're realizing that as your

220

: 00:12:11

children are growing up They may be

entering into this next phase and this

221

: 00:12:16

transition from the previous phases is

difficult, I it's a very common thing

222

: 00:12:23

for mothers to Be pretty stressed out

223

: 00:12:27

Stephanie: To their aunt?

224

: 00:12:27

To be pretty

225

: 00:12:29

Betsy: be pretty stressed out

about this transition and to but to

226

: 00:12:33

understand that really is a transition

Because we don't want to let go of

227

: 00:12:37

the control so much especially when

we see something that's not to the

228

: 00:12:41

standard that we really want it to be.

229

: 00:12:44

And so we learn how to flex there or

to give space to them to figure some

230

: 00:12:51

of these things out themselves that

aren't the, very serious life issues.

231

: 00:12:57

Yeah, you're coming into that right

now with your, the ages of your kids,

232

: 00:13:08

Stephanie: The boys definitely wanted new

shoes and talking through all of that.

233

: 00:13:13

What do we think about spending

that much on a pair of shoes?

234

: 00:13:16

And is that really all you want?

235

: 00:13:18

And let's talk about what that means.

236

: 00:13:20

And where is your heart in this decision?

237

: 00:13:23

And then also having the follow

up conversations of, Alright,

238

: 00:13:27

we're heading home from the store.

239

: 00:13:28

Nothing can satisfy you except Christ,

you might be excited about these shoes,

240

: 00:13:32

but it's downhill from here, right?

241

: 00:13:34

Like this.

242

: 00:13:34

And, but then to say, but

that's not true of the Lord.

243

: 00:13:37

And I guess shepherding them

through the new decisions.

244

: 00:13:40

It's that part has been really

fun to see the independence

245

: 00:13:44

Betsy: Sure, I can remember one

of my boys being at that age.

246

: 00:13:47

And by the way, they loved shoes then too.

247

: 00:13:49

It's just like boys.

248

: 00:13:51

I'll flip the switch from

Legos to shoes real fast.

249

: 00:13:54

And it's a real thing.

250

: 00:13:57

Anyway, this one of my sons, he had

all of his birthday money and he

251

: 00:14:01

wanted to spend it on baseball cards.

252

: 00:14:03

And so he spent it all on baseball cards.

253

: 00:14:06

And I was thinking, oh, don't

spend it all on baseball cards.

254

: 00:14:10

But it was his birthday money

and we allowed him to do that.

255

: 00:14:14

He spent it.

256

: 00:14:14

He opened up the cards He was so

disappointed and he was like, that

257

: 00:14:18

was a good lesson because he's I

will never do that again I think

258

: 00:14:22

he wished he bought some shoes,

of those things are good lessons.

259

: 00:14:25

You're not gonna always make what you

think at the time is It's so impulsive

260

: 00:14:29

and so important and so exciting.

261

: 00:14:31

You realize that is very short lived.

262

: 00:14:34

And so this is as hard as

it is to allow the kids the

263

: 00:14:39

space to make those decisions.

264

: 00:14:41

This is really the time

and place to do it.

265

: 00:14:44

And then what happens is we get caught up.

266

: 00:14:47

Caught up in some shockers Kids do

some things that aren't by the book and

267

: 00:14:52

you wonder how in the world Did this

child ever think that this was a good

268

: 00:14:58

idea or just be overtaken by impulse?

269

: 00:15:01

And do something so a little while ago we

were talking about some impulsive things

270

: 00:15:06

that kids do and how do we handle them?

271

: 00:15:10

It can be really hard to handle,

but the thing you don't want to do

272

: 00:15:15

is to think that everything you've

done up to that point in your

273

: 00:15:20

parenting has been, for naught.

274

: 00:15:23

You have to know that, everything we

do, the Lord brings fruit to it in time.

275

: 00:15:30

But we're going through this phase

where we don't have the apples yet,

276

: 00:15:33

especially through the tweens and teens.

277

: 00:15:37

We don't really see a lot of fruit yet.

278

: 00:15:40

We're still working, with the fertilizing

and pruning and all of that stuff.

279

: 00:15:46

And it gets a little intense, but

you don't think that the early

280

: 00:15:50

years that you put in and worked so

hard, so diligently are for naught.

281

: 00:15:55

There's a verse in Psalm 120 that says

I should look it up here real quickly.

282

: 00:16:01

Go ahead while I look it up.

283

: 00:16:02

I want to read it.

284

: 00:16:03

Cause it's one of my favorite

verses in this regard.

285

: 00:16:07

Stephanie: That's a good word.

286

: 00:16:08

It's I was sharing that, we had a

disappointing situation and it was very

287

: 00:16:13

hard, and then an hour later I got a

text about that same child and what an

288

: 00:16:18

incredible influence he was on someone's

child and that the parent noticed how

289

: 00:16:24

Be praised with passion and just worship

so amazingly and you realize that they

290

: 00:16:28

are works in progress just as I am just

as we all are in that this battle to

291

: 00:16:34

not be so overcome by the struggle, but

to have hope in the Lord for that fruit

292

: 00:16:39

to come and to be patient with it and

to thank God for bringing to light it.

293

: 00:16:45

Those hard things that they can be dealt

with well and even Teaching my child that

294

: 00:16:50

this is God's love for you that he brought

this to light that it couldn't go any

295

: 00:16:55

farther than this and that we can set up

some boundaries here And I think sometimes

296

: 00:17:01

As much as we talk about the inherent sin

nature of a child I think that there's

297

: 00:17:06

just still this part of you that views

them as innocent and you're trying to

298

: 00:17:09

protect them from certain things There's

certain times where it feels that, oh no

299

: 00:17:15

instead of continuing to see the hope of

redemption or the Lord working in them

300

: 00:17:23

Betsy: words of encouragement that

were given to you to make you realize

301

: 00:17:26

first of all, you're thinking is,

are we talking about the same person?

302

: 00:17:29

Stephanie: Uh Huh, right.

303

: 00:17:31

Betsy: you realize no,

there, I am seeing fruit.

304

: 00:17:34

I am seeing, the labor, the

work of my labor is paying off.

305

: 00:17:37

I see the Lord working

in my child's heart.

306

: 00:17:39

Those are such precious things

so that you don't lose heart.

307

: 00:17:43

But here's some verses from Psalm 126.

308

: 00:17:47

Verses 5 and 6 that I really love.

309

: 00:17:51

It says, Those who sow in tears

shall harvest with joyful shouting.

310

: 00:17:58

And one who goes here and there

weeping, carrying his bag of seed,

311

: 00:18:03

shall indeed come again with a shout

of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

312

: 00:18:08

So sometimes I think of those verses

in times of really difficult ministry

313

: 00:18:13

and we're sharing with people and

just doesn't seem like they are

314

: 00:18:17

understanding it or they're, or they're

just giving you a difficult time.

315

: 00:18:22

But I think it applies here to kids too.

316

: 00:18:26

Those who sow in tears, that's parents.

317

: 00:18:30

Shall harvest with joyful

shouting, like not just joy you

318

: 00:18:36

have to shout it out and yay!

319

: 00:18:39

And one who goes here and there weeping

and I just look at this person with

320

: 00:18:44

their bag of seed carrying his bag

of seed you know putting the seed out

321

: 00:18:50

there shall indeed come again With

a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves

322

: 00:18:55

with him, bringing his harvest, and

those can be your kiddos, your sheaves.

323

: 00:19:01

Lord's Word definitely tells us

that there will be a good outcome

324

: 00:19:07

to the work that we put in.

325

: 00:19:10

Not a promise of salvation, but a

reward for the work that we put in.

326

: 00:19:16

And hopefully that is salvation

and sanctification of our kids.

327

: 00:19:20

Stephanie: in.

328

: 00:19:22

And hopefully that is salvation

and sanctification of our kids.

329

: 00:19:39

In some of those moments, it's hard to

not pick that back up and not to feel

330

: 00:19:44

that, oh wait, but their sanctification

is on me again, even though I

331

: 00:19:47

don't think that's what I'm doing.

332

: 00:19:49

In a way, putting that pressure

on myself when really God

333

: 00:19:52

is faithfully drawing them.

334

: 00:19:53

And I can just be Faithful with pointing

them to Him and faithful with handling

335

: 00:19:57

the circumstances but I can't control

those hard outcomes like the Lord can.

336

: 00:20:02

Betsy: But then our theme verse

for Entrusted from Psalm 127.

337

: 00:20:06

Unless the Lord builds the

house, they labor in vain.

338

: 00:20:10

Who build it unless the

Lord guards the city.

339

: 00:20:12

The watchman keeps awake in vain.

340

: 00:20:15

There's such promise in there.

341

: 00:20:17

We really can't do anything

without the Lord's help.

342

: 00:20:21

but

343

: 00:20:21

This is a time of life where you

get to see the sanctification

344

: 00:20:25

in your kids play out.

345

: 00:20:27

You're not controlling the outcome

of everything that they're doing.

346

: 00:20:31

They're taking the responsibility

for themselves and as they're

347

: 00:20:35

growing this time, they're going

to learn that the more responsible

348

: 00:20:40

I am, the more privilege I have.

349

: 00:20:43

The less responsible I am,

the less privilege I have.

350

: 00:20:47

You're going to revoke privileges,

which would be the appropriate

351

: 00:20:50

consequences, when they aren't

responding in a particular way.

352

: 00:20:56

But let's look for a second at Character.

353

: 00:20:59

Character, you might say you're selfish

and you need to grow more in love.

354

: 00:21:05

That's the opposite of it.

355

: 00:21:07

Thinking of yourself

or thinking of others.

356

: 00:21:09

But it's not something

you would discipline.

357

: 00:21:11

It is something that you're trying through

life to direct them from an area of

358

: 00:21:19

selfishness to looking out for others.

359

: 00:21:22

But It's not necessarily a

discipline, a correction.

360

: 00:21:28

It's more a growth in their

hearts for that thing.

361

: 00:21:31

Stephanie: Sure.

362

: 00:21:32

Betsy: And, if you're a loving

person, it crowds out the

363

: 00:21:35

selfishness because we can't be both.

364

: 00:21:39

They're oil and water.

365

: 00:21:40

So if we are more loving to people,

we will automatically be less selfish.

366

: 00:21:45

And that's just something kids,

we're working with kids in, but

367

: 00:21:49

when they're not that, we don't

necessarily discipline them.

368

: 00:21:55

Except, If it gets to that point

of really being disobedient or

369

: 00:22:01

defiant or endangering a sibling or

whatever it is, then obviously it

370

: 00:22:06

went over the point, over that point.

371

: 00:22:09

Stephanie: Sure.

372

: 00:22:10

Yes.

373

: 00:22:11

My oldest doesn't have a phone yet, and

I keep saying, Tim, isn't it so great

374

: 00:22:16

that you have You know, because 14

would be the earliest we would allow it.

375

: 00:22:20

And I say, isn't it great that you

have another year to prove to us, that

376

: 00:22:24

you're ready for that responsibility?

377

: 00:22:25

And instead of him thinking,

oh, I can't have it for you,

378

: 00:22:28

I say, is your opportunity.

379

: 00:22:29

Show us that you're worthy.

380

: 00:22:31

And we don't guarantee it's coming at 14.

381

: 00:22:33

We say, if your character matches and

your integrity, show us that you're ready.

382

: 00:22:38

Then, that's something that

we would consider at 14.

383

: 00:22:42

And so I'm trying to.

384

: 00:22:44

frame that for him to see,

I have an opportunity here.

385

: 00:22:48

And we've also taught, Hey, that

driver's license, that doesn't

386

: 00:22:51

come automatically at 16 either.

387

: 00:22:53

You need to show us that you're going to

be safe for yourself and safe for others.

388

: 00:22:57

But speak a little bit to your

perspective on music, because I

389

: 00:23:01

find with my own son and then with.

390

: 00:23:03

Many others at this age, they're,

wanting to branch out and they

391

: 00:23:07

have their own personal style.

392

: 00:23:09

And maybe it's contrary to a

personal conviction that we have.

393

: 00:23:13

What is your position look like on

394

: 00:23:15

Betsy: that?

395

: 00:23:15

And I think we need to emphasize here

that your personal convictions can change.

396

: 00:23:19

You may have new information, new

understanding about something, and

397

: 00:23:24

your personal convictions can change.

398

: 00:23:26

They are not, thus saith the Lord,

they're, thus saith mom and dad.

399

: 00:23:30

So if mom and dad agree together and have

a, Common understanding and they say I

400

: 00:23:36

think we can you know, maybe we're gonna

allow them to listen to secular music I

401

: 00:23:41

think my point is that secular music in

no way rises to the level of Worshiping

402

: 00:23:47

the Lord which is the intent of music

to worship the Lord and give him glory

403

: 00:23:53

but Do we enjoy music of other sorts?

404

: 00:23:58

And do we have fun?

405

: 00:23:59

Do you dance in the

kitchen with your kids?

406

: 00:24:01

All of these things, sure.

407

: 00:24:03

But what, where are you

going to draw the line?

408

: 00:24:08

Stephanie: We know you're busy,

Mama, so we are truly grateful you

409

: 00:24:11

joined us for this episode of Again.

410

: 00:24:13

If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

411

: 00:24:16

foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

412

: 00:24:20

EntrustedMinistries.

413

: 00:24:22

com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

414

: 00:24:27

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

415

: 00:24:30

world, and we want it for you, too.

416

: 00:24:33

Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

417

: 00:24:36

from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

418

: 00:24:40

We're rooting for you.

419

: 00:24:43

To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

420

: 00:24:48

calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good and every work of faith by

421

: 00:24:53

His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

422

: 00:24:59

Him, according to the grace of our God.

423

: 00:25:02

And the Lord Jesus Christ.

424

: 00:25:05

Amen.

425

: 00:25:06

Until we meet again.