Episode 50

full
Published on:

22nd Aug 2024

#50. Our Everyday Agains: Raising Kids That Really Help Clean and Making It Fun For Them! Part 2

Betsy and Stephanie are back to discuss all the ways they've learned to manage their homes. These tips scan different seasons and stages with kids, but are sure to provide some sanity to Christian moms looking for more order! Stay tuned for the giveaway details next week!

Definition of a Clean Room Printables

Every Day Before You Say Chart

Entrusted with a Child's Heart Video Series: LOWEST PRICE EVER!

Transcript
Stephanie:

They're the joyful agains our children shout on the swings, the

2

:

exhausting agains of cooking and laundry,

and the difficult agains of discipline.

3

:

So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

4

:

So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

5

:

to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

6

:

We believe God's Word is

the key to untangle from the

7

:

confusion and overwhelm we feel.

8

:

Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

9

:

Welcome back to the again, podcast

brought to you from entrusted ministries.

10

:

I'm your host, Stephanie Hickox.

11

:

And today you'll be listening to part

two of our tips for cleaning your home.

12

:

But also getting your

kids to clean with you.

13

:

for

14

:

All different ages and ranges.

15

:

So we hope you'll find something

just right for your season of life.

16

:

But first I've got a great

announcement and trusted with the

17

:

child's heart is now available.

18

:

On our website for our lowest price ever.

19

:

Now you can have the entire

20 hour long video series.

20

:

That is solidly rooted in scripture.

21

:

For only $150.

22

:

We want to make it incredibly accessible

for small churches and for home groups.

23

:

And even for individuals to do this

study, we know that it has never been more

24

:

confusing to be a Christian mom, and we

want to help meet you where you're at.

25

:

We would love.

26

:

If you could join moms around you and say,

Hey, let's make sure that we're not being

27

:

swept away by the current of culture.

28

:

Head to our website, www dot

entrusted, ministries.com.

29

:

Go to the studies page.

30

:

And at the bottom of the mom's study, you

will find an opportunity to subscribe.

31

:

When you subscribe, you're creating an

account so that you can purchase this

32

:

one-year subscription to the videos.

33

:

I've written out a very clear guide

that takes you through the process.

34

:

And I highly recommend that you open

that up and follow the directions.

35

:

We hope that this is going to really pave

the way for many grips to do this study.

36

:

We're

37

:

asking the Lord that his name

would be lifted high in families

38

:

and churches and in the world.

39

:

And guess what today is our 50th.

40

:

Release of an episode.

41

:

I told you there would be a giveaway

coming to celebrate the 50th episode

42

:

and to also celebrate interested

being the lowest price it's ever been.

43

:

So I'm going to tell you what

the prices are going to be.

44

:

And then next week, we'll tell you

exactly how to enter the drawing.

45

:

Our grand prize is going to be a

free subscription to the interested

46

:

with the child's heart video series.

47

:

Now $150 and you can get it absolutely

free so you can use it for yourself.

48

:

You could use it for a group.

49

:

You can use it for your church.

50

:

We just want to bless you with that gift.

51

:

So that's the grand prize.

52

:

Next step.

53

:

We have to have the interested

with the child's heart to book

54

:

for individuals or couples.

55

:

Perhaps you and your husband

would like to go through that.

56

:

Or you want to go through.

57

:

It with another couple.

58

:

These books.

59

:

We're written because so many

women were saying, how can I get my

60

:

husband on board with this wisdom?

61

:

And we're also going to

include a scripture memory CD

62

:

for your kids to jam outlet.

63

:

And the third prize is the chart pack.

64

:

In this episode, you're going

to hear us talk about the

65

:

everyday before you say chart.

66

:

And it is my top favorite system For

managing things in my home, we keep

67

:

it on the fridge and my kids love it.

68

:

Just as much as I do.

69

:

So you're going to get that chart pack.

70

:

It is a two-year supply of those

charts a fridge inventory list.

71

:

And a scripture memory CD.

72

:

We want to set you up

for success this fall.

73

:

Make sure you come back next week

and I'll have all those details of

74

:

how you can enter for that drawing.

75

:

Stephanie: Along with the everyday.

76

:

Before you say chart, I've given

my kids may chore a must chore

77

:

and it get out the door tour.

78

:

And the may chore is something

that they can do for an extra

79

:

point or two on the chart.

80

:

The must chore is something we really

need for the family to function.

81

:

Well, it might be setting the

table or unloading the dishwasher.

82

:

And they get out the door chore.

83

:

They need to do.

84

:

And it was so helpful to say, okay, one,

person's going to check on the bunny

85

:

and make sure he's got hay and water.

86

:

Another person is going to

fill up the water bottles.

87

:

Another person is in charge of snacks.

88

:

And then they would work with me to

figure out what we need to pack for that.

89

:

And another might be in

charge of entertainment.

90

:

If it's a long traveling trip, they would.

91

:

Maybe find.

92

:

Audio books or.

93

:

Pack up the switch or.

94

:

A movie and then, if we're going to

the library, they would help me find

95

:

all the library books and they would

pack the books for the long trip to.

96

:

Betsy: And you take your

suitcase to the library.

97

:

Stephanie: Yes.

98

:

It's like a big crate.

99

:

Betsy: I think you used to take a

suitcase when your kids were little.

100

:

Stephanie: It has wheels like a suitcase.

101

:

And my kids love books.

102

:

And I always think if I ever

have back issues, it's probably

103

:

because of all these library books.

104

:

But it feels like a worthy sacrifice.

105

:

I've always been pretty relentless.

106

:

With having them go to the

library a lot and I still am.

107

:

when the kids were younger, they would

let you get 60 or so books at a time.

108

:

And now I think they even

let us get up to 150.

109

:

Obviously you have to be careful about

what you're checking out, but I just

110

:

think the library system is fantastic.

111

:

Betsy: Oh my goodness.

112

:

And I hope you're never late on them.

113

:

Now you have a library at your house.

114

:

Stephanie: I will admit that over

the years, there have been a couple

115

:

ripped books and our bunny even

took a bite out of one last week.

116

:

Really when I think about that

overall cost of literacy, I

117

:

have to remind myself it's okay.

118

:

If I have to pay for a

couple of books for this.

119

:

Betsy: And then they also

learned to respect the books.

120

:

Now, when my, one of my children did a

team project, this would have been in

121

:

high school, with a friend, they went

to the library together, but my child

122

:

was the only one that had Library card.

123

:

So they checked out the books that

they needed and many months later

124

:

we got a overdue notice for $150

and we didn't even have the book.

125

:

Stephanie: Oh, no.

126

:

That's awful.

127

:

I will say, as diligent as you are

with it, it's so hard because you know,

128

:

maybe they read the books in the car

or they read the books on the couch.

129

:

They read the books in their bedroom

and then one falls behind the loft.

130

:

And you're looking everywhere The

summer, we were looking for an

131

:

adventurous and Odyssey CD, and

I'm like, guys, where could it be?

132

:

There's only a couple places we listened

and we just searched high and low.

133

:

And you go back to the library and

take, can you please do a shelf check?

134

:

And then you have to humbly go back.

135

:

You know, the week later, a couple of

weeks later and say, we're so sorry.

136

:

We found it.

137

:

But I'm sure every librarian has

had many of those experiences.

138

:

Betsy: Let's talk a little bit about

those transition times when your kids

139

:

get a little bit older and during

those teen years that you're easing

140

:

up a little bit on the control, you're

letting them manage their own, some

141

:

of their decisions and possibly their

bedroom and maybe they have a bathroom.

142

:

So maybe their bedroom and bathroom.

143

:

What we did in those years

is I wasn't making sure that

144

:

they made their bed every day.

145

:

I knew that they knew how to

make a bed, that they knew how

146

:

to make it properly, but I wasn't

going to be on them every day.

147

:

If that was part of their chart

for a while, did you make your bed

148

:

just to learn the discipline of it?

149

:

But when they're teens somehow a lot

of this bedroom care just falls apart

150

:

and if you have three boys in a room

that's going to be very interesting

151

:

Stephanie: Definitely.

152

:

And I have to be honest about

the bed making and say, I am not

153

:

a stickler because those high bunk

beds, it's above eye level in.

154

:

When I walked by their rooms, I barely

can notice if their beds are messy.

155

:

And so I just, haven't been a stickler on

that as much, but I know I need to hold

156

:

them to that standard more consistently.

157

:

Betsy: Yeah, and that's totally fine.

158

:

That's totally fine.

159

:

My husband always says you

achieve what you emphasize.

160

:

Is it important to you or not?

161

:

Is it the end of the earth?

162

:

Can you just be flexible on it?

163

:

And that's fine.

164

:

But during those teen years, you're

definitely going to flex a little bit.

165

:

But you might be surprised how

messy the rooms get as a result.

166

:

And so rather than just say

you get too willy nilly, just

167

:

You know

168

:

hang stuff from the lampshade.

169

:

I would say that every Friday night,

afternoon, after school, you have

170

:

to make your room so that it, it

meets my standard, my definition

171

:

of a clean room once a week.

172

:

So they are learning not to let it get

so bad that they can't get it right.

173

:

Clean it.

174

:

And I love the word housekeeping.

175

:

Like, how are you keeping

your living space?

176

:

Because you function

better in a living space.

177

:

We know that when kids are playing, they

get everything out and it's a big mess.

178

:

They don't play as well.

179

:

And you have to take a little time out

and say, Let's reorganize, straighten

180

:

up here and then you can, play again.

181

:

But so Friday nights, they always

had a big social thing that they

182

:

wanted to do, but before they could

go out, they needed to have it meet

183

:

the definition of a clean room and

the definition of a clean bathroom.

184

:

And if they did, they would

get a certain amount of money.

185

:

Now, it's not like I usually

withheld it, but it might not

186

:

be as quick as they wanted it.

187

:

They really had to meet the

definition of a clean room.

188

:

And I don't have the list with me

right here right now, but, of course

189

:

it had to be no clothing on the

floor, no towels on the floor, but

190

:

also not all piled up in the laundry.

191

:

You can't just say, I'm not

going to fold my sweaters.

192

:

I'm going to just stuff them all

in the laundry basket . It can't

193

:

be any clothes under the bed.

194

:

The drawers,

195

:

need to be

196

:

And sometimes I'll even check

a drawer and say, did you

197

:

just throw everything in here?

198

:

We understand, sometimes things get

messy like that, but for the most

199

:

part, as the surface is cleaned, it's

vacuumed, the bed is made, the drapes

200

:

are straight, that kind of thing,

and the definition of a clean room

201

:

was taped on the back of their door.

202

:

So if they wanted just to maintain

housekeep, they could, make

203

:

sure that they were doing that.

204

:

The bathroom was interesting because

it wasn't their own bathroom.

205

:

They shared it with one other teen.

206

:

So the two, the four teens had You

know, each a bathroom every other week

207

:

to clean and I knew that when it's

not your own responsibility, there

208

:

could be a little bit more shirking,

leaving it for the next person to

209

:

clean a little bit more thoroughly.

210

:

And in fact, I used to go in and do

a mercy cleaning myself because I

211

:

felt like This really has to be done

right, and I'm going to do it once

212

:

a month, but they did really well on

that, so that would have been an added.

213

:

Responsibility before they would go

on Friday night, and I would look in

214

:

the bathroom, and I realized it's you

need to say This is the cleaner you

215

:

use for the mirror, but it's different

than what you use for the countertop

216

:

This is the cleaner you use for the

toilet bowl, which is different than

217

:

what you use for the shower So all of

those things you do that writing it up.

218

:

They know which cleaner they're

supposed to use And Everything

219

:

under the vanity, this was one of

my big rules, has to be upright.

220

:

So I went in there and you know

if you have a bottle that's

221

:

tipped over, eventually it's going

to leak out and that's awful.

222

:

And so everything that was

under there had to be upright.

223

:

That was one of my rules.

224

:

And the shock to me was one time

when, one time I did go in there and

225

:

everything was down and I'm like, okay,

I guess that this has to be a roll.

226

:

But I went in and then one time

I went in there was actually

227

:

a ketchup bottle in there.

228

:

So I had to say, no condiments,

no food under the vanity.

229

:

Who'd have thought?

230

:

Stephanie: That is such a crazy story.

231

:

Who would executive I'd catch up?

232

:

In the bathroom, but.

233

:

You've heard it here.

234

:

I think that that's so great

that you taught your kids exactly

235

:

what the expectation was and

taught them to maintain it.

236

:

And then even did that mercy cleaning.

237

:

I think there is a lot of wisdom there.

238

:

And that definition of a clean

room is such a fantastic tip.

239

:

Betsy: So it's a pretty basic

definition that's written out.

240

:

It's not something that's going to

take them two hours, especially if

241

:

they've, it's been done the week before.

242

:

Stephanie: That's fantastic.

243

:

I have some principles that I'm

going to link in the show notes

244

:

as well, just to give people a

little bit of a starting point.

245

:

I know we all have a different standard.

246

:

But we're all looking for

somewhat similar things and it

247

:

could be a jumping off point.

248

:

Betsy: Yeah, your definition

might just be real simple or it

249

:

might be a little more elaborate.

250

:

And Alchin, with that idea.

251

:

That she's a good friend and

she put me on to that idea when

252

:

my kids were about that age.

253

:

Stephanie: I have another Popsicle stick

system that I created for cleaning.

254

:

And it might sound a little

bit elaborate, but I love

255

:

systems that are easy to change.

256

:

And.

257

:

It's so simple to replace a Popsicle

stick in a system rather than, you

258

:

know, creating a new chart or something.

259

:

I suppose they're not

actually the Popsicle sticks.

260

:

I used to larger tongue depressor,

ones and I colored the end.

261

:

So I had purchased all the

neutral color, but I colored

262

:

the end of some of them yellow.

263

:

And these were the yield chores.

264

:

I explained to my kids because

you're a part of our family.

265

:

You're going to do these chores.

266

:

It's kind of like, do not press

go before you do these things.

267

:

And I would write on a Sharpie, what it

was, perhaps it was a morning routine

268

:

and then I have little cups sitting out

for them and when they completed it, they

269

:

would put the Popsicle stick in the cup.

270

:

So I could tell.

271

:

And then I took a bunch of.

272

:

The tongue depressors and I

colored the end of them green.

273

:

And these were ones that

they could earn points for.

274

:

perhaps they would vacuum the downstairs.

275

:

And they could get 10 points

or they would clean up.

276

:

The basement toys and get 10.

277

:

Maybe they helped sharpen

all the pencils and got five.

278

:

And I got pretty specific with

those, because as I said, they're

279

:

inexpensive and you can just

write a lot of things on them.

280

:

So when we would have our family

clean, I would set out all of these

281

:

green chores and I'd say, okay,

you need to pick at least three.

282

:

And it didn't matter which they picked.

283

:

And some of my kids might be

more motivated and they want

284

:

to take all the 10 point ones.

285

:

Someone might be, wants to get done

quickly and try the five point ones.

286

:

But then, you can add it up and

say, when you get to this number.

287

:

We could get a little gift card

288

:

are there could be extra screen

time or some sort of a reward or

289

:

a little, donate date with dad.

290

:

And we would never do a huge reward, but.

291

:

It was, fun for them to

accumulate the points.

292

:

And then I in the same container.

293

:

I had some that were marked the end with

purple and those were mom chores that

294

:

I knew were too difficult for the kids.

295

:

Easy way for me to say,

okay, I've done this.

296

:

I'm going to put it.

297

:

Back in the container.

298

:

And, perhaps when was the last

time that I washed those drapes.

299

:

So there are some chores that are

less frequent and I just had a

300

:

visual to see all of these Popsicle

sticks with the different chores

301

:

and to remind myself of them.

302

:

But, you know, if we're.

303

:

Running at a time and I

didn't get to everything.

304

:

That's okay.

305

:

It'll be next week.

306

:

We'll get to it.

307

:

Also took some sticks and

colored red on the end.

308

:

And I might have a little

warning there, like, Hey, Mr.

309

:

At minus five.

310

:

And so if they were really

complaining or having a poor

311

:

attitude, not being diligent, then

I might put that in their jar.

312

:

And then I also had some blue bonus ones.

313

:

And they could get a bonus for just

having great initiative and follow

314

:

through and a joyful attitude.

315

:

Throughout.

316

:

It really took me, maybe a half

an hour to create this system.

317

:

And.

318

:

Like I said, I love how flexible it was.

319

:

For the kids and that it provided a great

visual of what was done and it was just

320

:

easy to pack away and think about next

week when we had our next family clean.

321

:

Betsy: Yeah, I think what we're

doing here is giving a lot of ideas.

322

:

It might seem like a lot, but maybe

you're going to say, Oh, this one

323

:

really meets a need that I have.

324

:

Now what you're saying here I think

is a really great idea because you're

325

:

sharing the load with your kids.

326

:

I remember a story.

327

:

A popular method when I was a young

mom was similar to that, but obviously

328

:

the woman was doing all of the work.

329

:

And the way that one worked was you

took a three by five index cards and

330

:

you wrote down every single chore

that's required to keep your house.

331

:

everything.

332

:

So let's say wipe off the top

of the refrigerator or pull

333

:

it out and vacuum behind it.

334

:

Then you have to decide how

often you're going to do this.

335

:

Maybe you're going to do that once

a year or, wipe off the top once a

336

:

month or whatever, but not every day.

337

:

So then you break, if you're doing

it once a year, you decide which

338

:

month you're going to put it in.

339

:

Bottom line, what you're doing

is you're making a system of what

340

:

you're going to do every day.

341

:

Once a week, once a month, once a year.

342

:

And you're slotting them in

the appropriate time slots

343

:

throughout the whole year.

344

:

So if it's a weekly thing, I'm

going to take out my little pack

345

:

of weekly cards, set them on my

counter, and I'm going to, I'm going

346

:

to have my weeklies with my dailies.

347

:

But the routine changes all

the time, so it's different.

348

:

But you will have your dailies, and it's,

maybe wiped on the kitchen counter, and

349

:

that's a given, but put it out there so

you feel like you accomplished something.

350

:

And that's when I came up with my

gold chore, clean the kitchen floor,

351

:

because that was just one I just had.

352

:

Really never ever like to do.

353

:

I'm like, I will pay money, but I

like your idea of well Why not train

354

:

the children when they're younger?

355

:

To really and you're really helping them

in the future, you know for their futures

356

:

Stephanie: That's a great system

too, because it is so flexible.

357

:

And It's inexpensive to do the index

cards and it's easy to adjust if needed.

358

:

I know for sure there would

be things I'm like, huh?

359

:

Yep.

360

:

Didn't think of putting

an index card for that.

361

:

And adding those in later.

362

:

Marilyn Boyer is a really wise woman

that I heard at a homeschooling

363

:

conference one and she had 14 children.

364

:

And I loved that.

365

:

She said we cleaned on Tuesdays.

366

:

Tuesday was family clean day.

367

:

So if they had company over on Friday.

368

:

They didn't reclean.

369

:

She said we had really stewarded our home.

370

:

And we were maintaining

things the rest of the week.

371

:

But I love that perspective because

We're training our children to

372

:

steward the house onto the Lord.

373

:

We're not doing this for someone else.

374

:

We want to enjoy our home and the

blessings alerts given us, but

375

:

we're taking care of it onto him.

376

:

So we're not all of a sudden scrambling

because someone's coming over and

377

:

we want it to look right to them.

378

:

And I love that her perspective.

379

:

And if I'm honest, I, although I

completely embrace it in my heart.

380

:

I feel like there's, sometimes people

are coming over and I'm scrambling

381

:

and to me, I'm thinking, oh man, I'm

just like knocking these projects out.

382

:

And it's just like a

motivating little rush for me.

383

:

To get things done.

384

:

And for my kids, they're

probably watching me thinking.

385

:

mom, are you doing this just for others?

386

:

I think we should just always be

aware of the messages that we're

387

:

sending, even within our systems.

388

:

Generally it has worked well for the

kits and I will clean maybe on a

389

:

Friday night or a Saturday morning.

390

:

I'll together.

391

:

And just enjoy it.

392

:

But if companies coming, I'm not

going to be cleaning while my

393

:

mother-in-law's there, my mom,

I'm going to enjoy their company.

394

:

And, we either adjust the day

or we get to it the next week.

395

:

It's important to allow for a little

bit of flexibility to, and to let people.

396

:

Trump our to do list.

397

:

Betsy: Stephanie, when we're done with

this, we're scrubbing the kitchen floor.

398

:

Yes.

399

:

You thought you were getting out of it.

400

:

Oh man.

401

:

Yeah, that's not my favorite word either.

402

:

And I like that you said we're just

giving a lot of tips at once because

403

:

there was this season where every Saturday

morning I told my kids, all right,

404

:

everybody bring down your sheets to me.

405

:

And once you bring your sheets

to the laundry room, you can

406

:

have pancakes for breakfast.

407

:

And I did this for a season

and I think I blogged about it.

408

:

And then recently I was thinking,

oh man, How often am I really

409

:

washing those bugs bed sheets and.

410

:

It's not a weekly thing anymore.

411

:

And I realized I had put that out

there and sometimes you adapt for

412

:

a season and we can be so used to

hearing other people and their lists.

413

:

But.

414

:

They do change and.

415

:

That whole comparison trap.

416

:

We don't want anyone to fall into that.

417

:

We just want to pro.

418

:

I'd a variety of ideas.

419

:

Betsy: Some things you do for

a while and they're effective.

420

:

And then you change up.

421

:

Yeah, we're not doing all of these

things at the same time by any means.

422

:

Stephanie: You develop the system first,

so you know where you can flex and where

423

:

you can have a little freedom from it.

424

:

If we did a really great job last week,

and then something happens this week and

425

:

we don't get to it, it's not that bad.

426

:

There's going to be things we still

do and things we still maintain.

427

:

And when you're training the kids.

428

:

And the bathroom mirror

has smears all over it.

429

:

That's one where I'm not going to go fix

it right before someone comes over because

430

:

I'm just so proud of them for trying.

431

:

Oh yeah, so that's the kind of smear.

432

:

The cleaning smear, I thought, okay.

433

:

Yes exactly.

434

:

But I'm not going to go in there and

fix that because I don't want to teach

435

:

them that their job wasn't good enough.

436

:

Then a couple of times, maybe I say, oh,

okay, remember how we cleaned the mirror

437

:

Betsy: somebody will look at it and say,

Hey, somebody just cleaned this mirror.

438

:

Yeah, I had

439

:

I had a friend who always said

when company's coming, just make

440

:

sure you don't run your finger

along anything and upset the slight

441

:

little dust that might be on there.

442

:

And another one that said light

candles and dim the lights.

443

:

Stephanie: That's not your usual tip.

444

:

That's funny.

445

:

In preparation for this, I went

online And I found clean mama.

446

:

She has some zone cleaning and

checklists that remind me of the

447

:

system you were talking about.

448

:

And if you feel like I don't

really think I was trained well,

449

:

how to clean and maintain a home.

450

:

And you're often discovering places

like, oh yeah, that's green door.

451

:

Vacuuming data that is not in my rotation.

452

:

She has a great list of

things that you might do.

453

:

And her method is to do certain

things every day and never to

454

:

have this big cleaning chunk.

455

:

And I know a lot of people like to

do that and I can definitely see

456

:

the validity of a system like that.

457

:

Personally for me.

458

:

I like to get it all done at once and

then get in the shower and feel queen.

459

:

That's just how I like to do it, but I

still think that her checklists can be

460

:

really helpful for managing the dailies or

even just knowing what to get to, even if

461

:

it is in a big cleaning chunk like that.

462

:

She also has cleaning recipes.

463

:

If you're wanting to make DIY cleaners.

464

:

So I would definitely check out

her free resources that was clean.

465

:

Mama.

466

:

Betsy: I made a weekly cleaning

thing for David and I, but

467

:

by weekly six days a week.

468

:

But you could work ahead and have

Sunday, Saturday and Sunday off.

469

:

But for him and I to break

down the chores, and I love it

470

:

that he's working from home now

because I'm sharing them with him.

471

:

And he's really good at the

gross motor vacuuming and things.

472

:

He has his chores.

473

:

We each have just a couple

little chores to do every day.

474

:

And and they might not

be every single week.

475

:

Because next week it might,

it's a little different chore.

476

:

So basically it's a whole month laid

out, but in that whole month the entire

477

:

house is cleaned between the two of us.

478

:

And it's broken down into just

really small chores so that

479

:

it's very manageable, in a day.

480

:

Could do it in, a half an hour.

481

:

And especially if you keep up

with it, it's not so to do.

482

:

When you're newly married, the

division of labors is a big thing.

483

:

Because people often

struggle with it for a while.

484

:

Like, why am I doing all this?

485

:

And maybe you could do this better.

486

:

And there's a little bit of figuring

that out that's necessary to take place.

487

:

It's, you don't want to overload.

488

:

One.

489

:

there needs to be a sharing of the load.

490

:

Stephanie: Actually have

Googled division of labor.

491

:

Worksheets recently, this

came up in my small group.

492

:

And I think it's tricky if you

didn't start off on the right foot.

493

:

Managing it well, At the beginning

and then you add kids in and the

494

:

mom is doing so much for that.

495

:

It can get very overwhelming.

496

:

And hopefully you're both humble

enough to be able to sit back

497

:

down at the drawing board and say,

okay, let's evaluate this again.

498

:

So if you want to do

that, Google, go ahead.

499

:

Just like now they have stair baskets.

500

:

It's amazing.

501

:

The things that are available now.

502

:

you talked recently about there

just so many transitions in life

503

:

and you feel like you have it down.

504

:

And then all of a sudden someone new is

potty training and someone's teething.

505

:

Betsy: And someone's learning to drive.

506

:

Because I told my husband, I don't

know if this was a good bargain or not,

507

:

but I will wash all the dishes forever

if you teach all the kids to drive.

508

:

And so now all the kids drive, and I'm

still doing all the dishes, but he does

509

:

a lot of help with getting the grandkids.

510

:

I just don't want to do that.

511

:

My husband does a lot of returns and the

ladies at the store go, Oh, hi again.

512

:

But I also, he does something

very nice for me on Saturdays.

513

:

We will go out or maybe

not even Saturdays.

514

:

This is different because we're empty

nesters now, but he will drive me around.

515

:

So drive me up to the door.

516

:

I'll run in, do the quick

thing, come back out.

517

:

And we get a lot accomplished that way.

518

:

Anyway, too many ideas probably,

but hopefully one of them.

519

:

Might help you had a really great,

interesting quote from that lady.

520

:

Stephanie: Yes.

521

:

And it connected so well to entrusted.

522

:

We thought.

523

:

it was from Charlotte Mason.

524

:

She said here indeed, more than anywhere,

except the Lord build the house they

525

:

labor, but in vain that build it.

526

:

But surely intelligent cooperation

in this divine work is our

527

:

bounded duty and service.

528

:

And she's saying that habit

formation in our children.

529

:

As we're trusting the alerts so

much to develop our children,

530

:

to save and to sanctify them.

531

:

But certainly we want to

be a part of their habit.

532

:

Formation.

533

:

I think we can all look back at our

own childhoods and be thankful for

534

:

the habits that our parent gave us.

535

:

But then maybe we're also thinking

all, man, I wish that one would

536

:

have been solidified more.

537

:

That would have really helped me.

538

:

And that's the part of the Lord working

on each of us, but if we can really set

539

:

our kids up for success in the beginning,

that's such a blessing to their marriages.

540

:

Their future careers.

541

:

And their households,

542

:

the habits that we're helping them

establish will really bless their

543

:

futures and bless those around them.

544

:

And it's a godly mothers duty

to make that part of our day.

545

:

And Charlotte Mason said that about 150

years ago, but I think it's still so true.

546

:

And even though she didn't

have children herself, she was

547

:

an educator and she saw this.

548

:

And the students that she taught.

549

:

And as long as we're on tidiness,

I thought this was so interesting.

550

:

She said that when you're teaching

your child to hang up their coat, And

551

:

this really relates well to entrusted.

552

:

You're thinking, is this age appropriate?

553

:

Can they hang up their coat?

554

:

And you know that they

can hang up their coat.

555

:

So you're teaching them

to hang up the coat.

556

:

And she said, you present the benefits

to your child and you're lovingly

557

:

teaching them that this is something

you're expecting that with them.

558

:

And from now on, I want

you to hang up your coat.

559

:

So she says, when you come along and you

see that he has not hung up his coat,

560

:

you don't say, come hang up your coat

because you're training him to now wait

561

:

for your voice to go hang up the coat.

562

:

But what you should do is say, come here.

563

:

Oh, man, just stand by the coat and he

smile And then visually he's going to see

564

:

it and realize, oh, I forgot to hang up.

565

:

My coat.

566

:

And she said, you could say, I told

you, I'd remind you, but you're not

567

:

going to let your voice be the cue.

568

:

Otherwise you're training their

brain and your kids to wait for

569

:

you to tell them or to nag them.

570

:

And she talked about the brain science of

it a little bit more than I am, but I've

571

:

had that, that was really an interesting.

572

:

Thing, because as moms, we

can really fall into the habit

573

:

of our voice being the queue.

574

:

And she also says, do one habit at a time

and keep, watch over those already formed.

575

:

And you're going to do a new habit.

576

:

For about six to eight weeks.

577

:

And that could be about 10 a year.

578

:

And when you think that in

10 years, they could have 60

579

:

really well-developed habits.

580

:

That's just fantastic.

581

:

And so you want to pick ones that

are important and it's the slow

582

:

growth, like the water drinking.

583

:

And I want that to be a

lifelong habit for my family.

584

:

So we're going to focus on it for

a while and I want it to stick.

585

:

Good point.

586

:

We know you're busy, Mama, so

we are truly grateful you joined

587

:

us for this episode of Again.

588

:

If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

589

:

foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

590

:

EntrustedMinistries.

591

:

com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

592

:

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

593

:

world, and we want it for you, too.

594

:

Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

595

:

from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

596

:

We're rooting for you.

597

:

To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

598

:

calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good and every work of faith by

599

:

His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

600

:

Him, according to the grace of our God.

601

:

And the Lord Jesus Christ.

602

:

Amen.

603

:

Until we meet again.

Listen for free

Show artwork for Again

About the Podcast

Again
Biblical Motherhood Untangled
So much of what we do as mothers is on repeat. Join us to redeem this repetition and untangle from the confusion and overwhelm of parenting. We'll follow the Agains in the Bible to focus on the things that matter most. Let's look up together to embrace a motherhood full of freedom and joy! This podcast is sponsored by Entrusted Ministries.

About your host

Profile picture for Stephanie Hickox

Stephanie Hickox

Stephanie has always delighted in God’s Word and in sharing it with others. Whether it is equipping mothers and leaders through Entrusted with a Child’s Heart, inspiring students when teaching at homeschool co-ops or children’s ministry, or homeschooling her own children, Stephanie’s life mission is to encourage others to follow faithfully and joyfully after Jesus—especially if they hold her favorite job title: mom.

Betsy Corning wrote Entrusted with a Child’s Heart in 1999 in response to the needs she saw in families as she and David counseled young parents just a few years behind them. Entrusted has been taught in hundreds of churches nationwide, been translated into several foreign languages, and has made its way around the world. More recently, Betsy received her Masters in Biblical Studies from The Master’s University and is developing a new Bible Study program called Get the Word Out. Her passion for God’s Word, discipleship, and teaching biblical principles as they apply to family life has remained strong to this day. One of the greatest blessings in Betsy’s life are her three grown children, their spouses, and ten grandchildren that keep her constantly in touch with every age and stage.

Jen Freckman Is an incredible wealth of wisdom. She will tell you a natural remedy for just about anything! She is also a voracious reader and she is just overflowing with quotes and guidance that she's encountered through reading and being faithful. She delights in her children and is a devoted mother. She is also an amazingly creative problem solver! Her solutions to manage her home and guide her children are inspiring.

Emily Deyo is such a treasure. She is an incredible encourager and servant-hearted woman. When she has the mic in front of her, so much value comes out! She is a wordsmith and her heart consistently beats for how she can encourage and serve others. She is a truly loving and attentive mother.

Join Betsy, Emily, Jen, and Stephanie as they share the wisdom only Scripture and on-the-job training can provide to help untangle the joyful calling of motherhood.