#71. I Get So Emotional... and So Do My Kids! : Modeling and Training Our Children to Handle Emotions Biblically | Part 2
Give me all the verses... I need them! In part 2 of this conversation on biblical emotions, Jen, Emily, and Steph share their favorite Bible verses that have led them to process their feelings in a godly way and train their children to do the same. You'll want your pen and paper out for this one!
First there is a fantastic, no-prep Valentine's tradition to embrace and a prayer for when you are feeling like your mundane doesn't matter or you can't muster up joy for the day.
Scripture Referenced:
Psalm 90:12-17
Galatians 5:19-22
Matthew 5:2-12
Psalm 131:2
John 14:27
Jeremiah 17:7-9
Isaiah 49:14-50:3
Romans 12:2
Romans 8:6
Colossians 3:1-2
Luke 24:17, 32-35
Matthew 6:25-34
Ephesians 4:2
Hebrews 13:5-6
Book Mentioned:
Wanting more biblical wisdom? We're so glad you asked! Check out our biblical parenting study: Entrusted with a Child's Heart
Transcript
They're the joyful agains our children shout on the swings, the
2
:exhausting agains of cooking and laundry,
and the difficult agains of discipline.
3
:So much of what we do
as mothers is on repeat.
4
:So what if we woke up with clarity,
knowing which agains we were called
5
:to, and went to bed believing we
are faithful in what matters most?
6
:We believe God's Word is
the key to untangle from the
7
:confusion and overwhelm we feel.
8
:Let's look up together to embrace a
motherhood full of freedom and joy.
9
:Welcome back to the again,
podcast from entrusted ministries.
10
:where we believe that what moms do
over and over truly matters to God.
11
:I'm Stephanie Hickox, and in this
conversation, I'm joined by Jen
12
:Frechman and Emily Dio, as we
continue to discuss biblical emotions
13
:and how to handle our own Emotions
and the emotions of our children.
14
:In this portion of our conversation,
we are going to fire hose our favorite
15
:scriptures that the Lord has brought us to
handle all the fields in a more godly way.
16
:This episode is a little bit
shorter because we know we have
17
:a lot of scripture coming at you.
18
:Don't forget to check the show notes.
19
:So you can remember those references.
20
:Before we get to the episode, I would
love to share a really fun Valentine's
21
:idea I got from my friend, Amy.
22
:Each year on Valentine's day in her home,
she has each of the family members take
23
:turns standing in the center of the living
room, right on top of the coffee table.
24
:And then everyone spends a few moments
speaking into that person's life about
25
:how they see God working and how their
character is shining for the Lord.
26
:She says it's such a pivotal moment
in their family, and it's one of
27
:her favorite traditions all year.
28
:That's an easy one.
29
:You can pull off this
Valentine's Day with no prep.
30
:Also, I want to acknowledge
that sometimes, in the middle
31
:of these winter months, it can
get dreary and discouraging.
32
:I've been blessed by meditating
on a prayer in Psalm 90 lately.
33
:It begins, So teach us to number our
days, that we may get a heart of wisdom.
34
:Return, O Lord, how long?
35
:Have pity on your servants.
36
:Satisfy us in the morning with
your steadfast love that we may
37
:rejoice and be glad all our days.
38
:Make us glad for as many days
as you have afflicted us.
39
:And for as many years as we have
seen evil, let your works be
40
:shown to your servants and your
glorious power to their children.
41
:Let the favor of the Lord, our
God be upon us and establish
42
:the work of our hands upon us.
43
:Yes, establish the work of our hands.
44
:This has been so powerful to me
lately because it acknowledges
45
:we will have afflictions and
we will see evil on this earth.
46
:And yet every day, the steadfast love of
the Lord can satisfy us and give us joy.
47
:We're not going to reach a point in
our Christian walk where we don't
48
:need the Lord to refresh and renew
us Approach the throne of grace with
49
:confidence knowing that he longs to
give it to us And then, of course, when
50
:it says, let your power and glorious
works be shown to our children.
51
:Amen.
52
:We're all longing for that, right?
53
:And then establish the work of our hands.
54
:We need that as moms, Lord, and all we
are doing in these agains and agains,
55
:would you establish the work of our hands?
56
:May it be built on the foundation of you.
57
:And now I'll take you to part two of that
conversation on emotions, where I get
58
:a little bit more personal, and then we
share so many incredible scriptures the
59
:Lord has used to minister to our hearts.
60
:Be blessed.
61
:Steph: I have a personal testimony
where the Lord has actually
62
:radically transformed my thinking
on emotions the past six months.
63
:I, did not realize it, but I
definitely believed subconsciously
64
:that emotions were wrong.
65
:It was wrong to show emotions.
66
:I didn't really feel that way about
other people, but, that was a message
67
:I realized there were so many heavy
things in my life that I was battling
68
:between the changes in my husband due
to his MS and mostly being almost single
69
:working mother and dealing with so Many
things on my own with the Lord's support,
70
:of course, and really not having any break
to process or to deal with any of it.
71
:And people would say to
me, have you grieved?
72
:Have you grieved?
73
:Yeah, you can look at my schedule.
74
:When would you do that?
75
:I'm pressing into the Lord.
76
:I promise.
77
:But I don't really know when I would
grieve or, are there groups for that?
78
:I'm sure there are, but.
79
:Who would watch my children so
I could go it's been tricky.
80
:The Lord has been so faithful, but I've
noticed I just kept having the emotions
81
:bubble up and it felt like almost any
time someone asked me, how are you Steph?
82
:I would just start to get tears in
my eyes and it was like, stop it.
83
:Do not cry you're fine.
84
:And I would be so frustrated and ashamed.
85
:And I think looking back, it was like,
I have this pot on the stove and it's
86
:simmering and it's simmering, but the
pressures of life and the circumstances
87
:of life, the flame would get turned
up and I'm just pushing the lid down.
88
:Don't boil over, don't boil over.
89
:And it would bubble up
and it would bubble up.
90
:And I would say, stop it.
91
:I did feel like I'm, I'm
making it obedient to Christ.
92
:It's wrong to be so sad about this.
93
:Don't feel sorry for yourself.
94
:Don't be discouraged, all of the
things that feel godly to say.
95
:And It just wasn't working and I
realized even I would have shame over
96
:I'm not going to journal like I realized
that's why I don't like journaling
97
:because why would I write down my
emotions if I think that they're wrong.
98
:It's hard to process through that so
I would be very quick to identify the
99
:emotion I was feeling and to take it
to the Lord and process it with him.
100
:But to actually let myself feel deeply
and not feel shame over that was
101
:something I was really struggling with.
102
:And the Lord just really
helped make me aware of that.
103
:If it's not wrong then for me to take
my grief to him and to really empty
104
:out my heart before him, then now that
brings up so much freedom that I don't
105
:have to be the pot bubbling up anymore.
106
:I can empty myself out.
107
:I can pour myself out at his feet.
108
:That really for me was transformative.
109
:And I was working with a biblical
counselor through a lot of these issues
110
:and I think that's helpful in seasons
for sure when we're dealing with heavier
111
:things and she's been fantastic for me,
112
:In one session, I recall sharing this
revelation with her and she said, what
113
:did you think that the Psalms were?
114
:And I explained how I had believed
that everything that David or the
115
:Psalmist would be pouring out was
sharing all the ungodliness so that
116
:at the end they could get to the godly
part of acknowledging God's holiness
117
:and his sovereignty and his goodness.
118
:And she helped me realize that that
whole process of taking it to the
119
:Lord is godly because it's effective.
120
:even our culture right now is realizing
the benefit of lamenting and grieving.
121
:And as we said earlier, if the
purpose of emotions is to connect us
122
:with God, we need to embrace that.
123
:Even if the emotion itself does
need to be sanctified or does need
124
:to be made obedient to Christ, if
we actually sit in it for a second.
125
:and make sure that he does
help us get to the root of it.
126
:Then it can be healed
and we can move past it.
127
:But if we jump over it too quickly,
trying to fast forward through this
128
:process, we're not having true fellowship
with him and we're not going to
129
:experience freedom from the emotion.
130
:Emily: hmm.
131
:And this is very different than
saying all emotions are good.
132
:Biblically, there are many
emotions that are condemned.
133
:Jealousy and envy are a few examples.
134
:But we do still want to get to the root
of those issues, even when it is sinful.
135
:But that whole process of taking it to Him
can be a godly process that we don't need
136
:to be ashamed of and fast forward through.
137
:Emily: Yes.
138
:Steph: There are so many scriptures that
we could say that deal with emotions
139
:or that the Lord has used to meet us
in our emotions, we're gonna fire
140
:hose them, let's just throw out verses.
141
:Emily, you said you were
thinking of Galatians.
142
:Emily: Yes, I have Galatians 5 22 but
the fruit of the spirit is love, joy,
143
:peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, and self
144
:control against such there is no law.
145
:I love this verse because I feel like
they're listed in this order of you have
146
:to have love and then love to joy and then
joy to peace and then so on and so forth.
147
:And then you get to the
bottom With self control.
148
:I love that gentleness
comes before self control.
149
:Because I feel like where there is no
gentleness without God in the center.
150
:And then there is no self control
without the gentleness of his goodness.
151
:So I love that self control is at the end
and that just speaks to everything above.
152
:Yes.
153
:That's so good.
154
:Would you read the prior two verses also?
155
:Emily: Yes, the acts of the flesh
are obvious sexual immorality,
156
:impurity, and debauchery, idolatry.
157
:And witchcraft, hatred, discord,
jealousy, fits of rage selfish ambition,
158
:dissension, factions, and envy,
drunkenness, orgies, and the like.
159
:I warn you, as I did before, that those
who live like this will not inherit.
160
:The kingdom of God.
161
:And then we have the contrast
below, but the fruit of the spirit
162
:is love, joy, peace, forbearance,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
163
:gentleness, and self control.
164
:I'm, there is no, no further polar
opposites than the list of the acts of
165
:the flesh and the fruit of the spirit.
166
:It's just like light and
darkness on one page.
167
:Steph: And it, those verses make it
so clear that emotions can be negative
168
:and the things we feel can be negative.
169
:And if they're We have to be so
careful because so often sin starts
170
:in our minds and in our hearts.
171
:And if we believe that what we
feel isn't wrong, then that can
172
:often lead to sinful actions.
173
:So when it says then in verse 24,
and those who belong to Christ,
174
:Jesus have crucified the flesh
with its passions and desires.
175
:We.
176
:Sometimes it's painful to tell
yourself you don't deserve any
177
:of those things that you want.
178
:Those are not good desires.
179
:Those are evil desires.
180
:And to choose love and patience in
hard times, because that's what the
181
:Lord has called us to, and that's
what Christ modeled on this earth.
182
:Emily: Yes.
183
:It's constantly dying to the list
above so we can have the list below.
184
:Jen: Totally.
185
:I love that.
186
:It's true.
187
:That's so good because that's
all in us apart from Christ.
188
:It's all in us.
189
:It's all there.
190
:Emily: Yes.
191
:I just got excited because you don't
have to dig very deep that top list.
192
:You don't have to dig very deep to find
that, but you do have to do dig deep.
193
:And be surrendered to the Holy
Spirit to have that second list.
194
:Steph: Mm and isn't it scary to see
envy in the middle of some of those
195
:or jealousy in the middle of those?
196
:You're like, it makes it, you realize
how wrong those things are and obviously,
197
:if we go back to the Ten Commandments,
we're told coveting, the Lord has
198
:warned us about that from Exodus.
199
:Emily: Yes.
200
:Steph: I thought of the Beatitudes,
blessed are the poor in spirit for
201
:theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
202
:Blessed are those who mourn
for they shall be comforted.
203
:Blessed are the meek for
they shall inherit the earth.
204
:Blessed are those who hunger
and thirst for righteousness
205
:for they shall be satisfied.
206
:Blessed are the merciful for
they shall receive mercy.
207
:Blessed are the pure in
heart for they shall see God.
208
:Blessed are the peacemakers, for
they shall be called sons of God.
209
:Blessed are those who are persecuted
for righteousness sake, for
210
:theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
211
:And blessed are you when others revile you
and persecute you and utter all kinds of
212
:evil against you, falsely on my account.
213
:Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is
great in heaven, for so they persecuted
214
:the prophets who were before you.
215
:It might not have a ton of emotions
named in those verses, Other than the
216
:mourning and comforting and rejoicing,
but I hear emotion with every situation
217
:and the depth of pain that you feel
in all of those things or the pure
218
:heartedness and the hope of seeing
the Lord in your circumstances.
219
:Jesus is so tender.
220
:And meeting his people where they're
at and promising himself and also
221
:that he came to experience all of
the things that we experience and
222
:did it perfectly without temptation.
223
:But he's so compassionate
towards us as we deal with them.
224
:Jen: That's great.
225
:I'm reminded of the verse in
Psalm 131 that says, I have
226
:calmed and quieted my soul.
227
:And if you think about what is my soul,
my mind, my will, and my emotions.
228
:And okay.
229
:We calm our minds.
230
:We talked about that,
taking our thoughts captive.
231
:Our will.
232
:That's the faculty of our mind by
which we like actually determine
233
:whether we're going to do something
or not, whether we're going to
234
:restrain on an action or not deciding
whether to do the good or the bad.
235
:And making that calm down and be like,
all right, what am I going to do?
236
:How am I going to handle this?
237
:And then our emotions obviously are just
by stopping the roller coaster of our
238
:emotions, maybe taking a deep breath,
reading scripture, singing a hymn, doing
239
:yoga, like any part of you that, that.
240
:to calm you down your emotions, but then
it's interesting because as we wait on
241
:him, most often he changes our hearts
before he even changes the situation, if
242
:he even is going to change the situation.
243
:So just remembering in the moments of
we are being charged to calm our own
244
:souls down and to take those thoughts
captive to him, but also realizing
245
:that the situation may not change.
246
:But my heart very well
needs to be changed.
247
:So true.
248
:Steph: I love in John 14,
27, Jesus says, peace.
249
:I leave with you my peace.
250
:I give to you not as the world gives.
251
:Do I give to you?
252
:Let not your hearts be troubled.
253
:Neither.
254
:Let them be afraid.
255
:And it's hard because again,
he's, he promises we're going
256
:to have trouble in this world.
257
:But he still promises us peace in it.
258
:People so often quote verse nine, but
I'm going to start at verse seven and
259
:Jeremiah 17 blessed is the man who trusts
in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.
260
:He is like a tree planted by water
that sends out its roots by the stream
261
:and does not fear when he comes for
its leaves remain green and is not
262
:anxious in the year of drought for
it does not cease to bear fruit.
263
:The heart is deceitful above
all things and desperately sick.
264
:Who can understand it?
265
:I the Lord search the heart and test the
mind to give every man according to his
266
:ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.
267
:And I think this is a picture of someone
who's planted themselves in the Lord.
268
:So you're meeting with him regularly,
you have the fruit of that relationship.
269
:So when the trial comes, when the
heat comes, when there's drought,
270
:you're not getting fearful.
271
:You're not getting anxious
because you have that time tested
272
:relationship that he is good.
273
:And so that's why you don't trust
in your emotions, even though it's
274
:acknowledging That there is a reason to
fear right you have the circumstances
275
:you can see the circumstances They
are scary, but you're not gonna fear
276
:because you're trusting in the Lord
277
:Emily: hmm.
278
:Jen: Amen.
279
:Emily: that's so good.
280
:Jen: I have this devotional
that goes through.
281
:The book of Isaiah.
282
:And so for the day that we were discussing
Isaiah 49, 14 through Isaiah 50.
283
:Verse three, this is what the
author said, and it's so good.
284
:Talking to yourself, we used to
say, is the first sign of madness.
285
:Far from it.
286
:Rather, it's an important sign
of Christian common sense,
287
:depending, of course, on what
you are saying to yourself.
288
:Paul puts it another way when he
says that we are transformed by the
289
:renewing of our mind in Romans 12, 2.
290
:And, of course, The mind is only renewed
by thinking of new and renewing topics.
291
:If we talk to ourselves about worldly
things, we develop a worldly mind.
292
:If we focus on things above,
we develop a heavenly mind.
293
:Colossians 3, 1 through 2.
294
:We can cultivate the mind of the
flesh or the mind of the spirit.
295
:Romans 8, 6, every thought entertained
disposes our minds in that direction.
296
:It matters what we talk
to ourselves about.
297
:And today in particular.
298
:What do we say to ourselves when things
go from bad to worse and despondency
299
:takes over the natural tendency,
and it often seems strong beyond
300
:resistance is to retire, hurt, and
moan to ourselves how terrible and
301
:unfair life is and to chew the fat.
302
:So they say go that way.
303
:And despondency feeds on itself and
deepens and darkens by the minute.
304
:Don't do it.
305
:Isaiah would counsel us.
306
:Feed your mind on the promises of God.
307
:Tell yourself all that
he has pledged to do.
308
:Hold on to his word.
309
:Look at the four promises
in today's scripture.
310
:He never forgets us, verse 14 through 16.
311
:He will increase his
church, 17 through 23.
312
:He will give it victory
over the world, 24 to 26.
313
:And he will ransom us from
every alien power, 1 through 3.
314
:Somewhere in that list, you can
position yourself in every situation.
315
:The Lord's therapy is to bring us by
means of his word pondered and understood
316
:out of depression and the downcast
face, Luke 24, 17 into the burning
317
:heart, the buoyant step and the assured
testimony, Luke 24, 32 through 35.
318
:I just thought that was so great.
319
:I copied that entire thing.
320
:And I.
321
:Circle I wrote renew my mind and I circled
it and I put that in like my little
322
:journal of prayers that I read when I'm
feeling different things that I'm like,
323
:Oh, I don't have the words to do this.
324
:I need to redirect my
heart towards the Lord.
325
:And it's like my own little every moment.
326
:Holy.
327
:I just tuck that away for those
times when I'm like, my mind
328
:is racing and I am not able to.
329
:Take these thoughts even captive
because I don't even know what
330
:one to take captive first.
331
:Steph: Yeah.
332
:Jen: Been so helpful for me.
333
:Steph: Yeah.
334
:That's really beautiful.
335
:I love Isaiah.
336
:Matthew 6.
337
:And it says therefore I tell you, do
not be anxious about your life, what
338
:you will eat or what you will drink, nor
about your body, what you will put on.
339
:Is not life more than food and
the body more than clothing?
340
:Look at the birds of the air.
341
:They neither sow nor reap, nor
gather into barns, and yet your
342
:heavenly father feeds them.
343
:Are you not of more value than they?
344
:And which of you by being anxious can
add a single hour to his span of life?
345
:And why are you anxious about clothing?
346
:Consider the lilies of
the field, how they grow.
347
:They neither toiled nor spin yet, I
tell you, even Solomon and all his
348
:glory was not arrayed like one of these.
349
:But if God so clothes the grass of the
field, which today is alive, and tomorrow
350
:is thrown into the oven, will he not much
more clothe you, O you of little faith?
351
:Therefore do not be anxious, saying,
What shall we eat, or what shall
352
:we drink, or what shall we wear?
353
:For the Gentiles seek after all
these things, and your heavenly
354
:Father knows that you need them.
355
:But seek first the kingdom of God
and His righteousness, and all
356
:these things will be added unto you.
357
:Therefore do not be anxious
about tomorrow, for tomorrow
358
:will be anxious for itself.
359
:Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
360
:I think about how much time I've spent
thinking about how to care well for
361
:my children's bodies, how to feed them
well, how to just bless the, those
362
:little bodies or to bless my body.
363
:And God is sovereign and he's good.
364
:And I come back to that passage so
often and it just brings me like instant
365
:peace to trust him with those things.
366
:Jen: There's a book called God Smuggler.
367
:This is one of our favorite
books as in our homeschool.
368
:And one of the things that I loved a
quote in there said, Help me learn to
369
:talk more about the goodness of you.
370
:Then the problems in my heart,
and I thought that was so great.
371
:Like just reminding us to constantly
be talking about the goodness of God.
372
:And that doesn't mean that we
ignore all the problems that go
373
:on by any means, but you know what
I'm talking about when you are.
374
:in your mind, just all the
problems that you have and how
375
:hard your life is at this moment.
376
:We've all been there.
377
:We're all where we throw a pity
party in our minds for ourselves.
378
:I've done that.
379
:I've definitely been like, God, why are
you making this so hard on me right now?
380
:Can you just ease up and let a few things
go well, but in those moments, just to
381
:remind myself I want to talk about the
goodness of God more than my problems.
382
:I just want to, I want to focus on him.
383
:Because I do know and I do believe
and I do trust in the depths of
384
:my heart that he is working all
things together for my good.
385
:Even when I don't feel it, even
when I don't see it, it's easy to
386
:focus sometimes on our problems.
387
:Emily: I love Ephesians 4, 2.
388
:And it, it says, be completely
humble and gentle, be patient,
389
:bearing one another in love.
390
:And I, I love it because anytime it speaks
to, first of all, being humble and gentle,
391
:I just find that so endearing in the word.
392
:I think because it's so Anti Where
we're at in culture right now.
393
:And so I love be humble and gentle,
but but in right in the middle, , it
394
:speaks to being patient and and it's
sometimes very hard to be patient.
395
:We want to get places faster.
396
:We want to heal quicker.
397
:We want the trial to go away.
398
:But God brings us to these places
of sometimes, honestly, desperation.
399
:So he can teach us how
to be patient in him.
400
:And so I love that middle part
that speaks to being patient.
401
:And then it ends with bearing
with one another in love.
402
:And I, I just, when I read that, I often
picture like someone coming alongside
403
:you and just saying, picking up your,
your anxiety with you or your hurt or
404
:your pain and, and bearing it with you.
405
:And I love that picture.
406
:Steph: Yeah.
407
:There's a lot of laying down of emotions
to be able to get to that point.
408
:If probably consistently.
409
:Hebrews 13, five and six.
410
:It says, I will never
leave you nor forsake you.
411
:So we can confidently say the
Lord is my helper, I will not
412
:fear what can man do to me.
413
:Emily: hmm.
414
:That's so comforting.
415
:Steph: I was even thinking about the
introduction of so many of the letters
416
:when they say grace and peace to you.
417
:And.
418
:That was just today.
419
:I was like, wow, how often it's like they
know we need peace on this earth We know
420
:just living on this earth it we have to
meditate on the Lord to maintain peace
421
:Emily: hmm.
422
:Yeah, in every, in every age that
man has lived and in every stage.
423
:It doesn't matter maintaining peace
within our mind and heart has never come
424
:naturally to us because we have this
inner conflict of, of our sin nature
425
:and on this side of heaven, we will
always be asking the Lord for help.
426
:Jen: Yeah.
427
:There's so much more to come.
428
:We'll see you next week.
429
:But before you go, I just like to ask
you to leave a review for the podcast.
430
:We want to help as many moms
as possible who are looking for
431
:biblical encouragement to find it.
432
:And your review will help that happen.
433
:Steph: We know you're busy, Mama,
so we are truly grateful you joined
434
:us for this episode of Again.
435
:If you're looking for more information
about building your home on the
436
:foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.
437
:EntrustedMinistries.
438
:com to learn more about our study for
moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.
439
:This scripture saturated study
has blessed families around the
440
:world, and we want it for you, too.
441
:Before you go, I want to pray
this benediction over you
442
:from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.
443
:We're rooting for you.
444
:To this end, we always pray for you,
that our God may make you worthy of His
445
:calling, and may fulfill every resolve
for good, and every work of faith by
446
:His power, so that the name of our Lord
Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in
447
:Him, according to the grace of our God.
448
:And the Lord Jesus Christ.
449
:Amen.
450
:Until we meet again.