#71. I Get So Emotional... and So Do My Kids! : Modeling and Training Our Children to Handle Emotions Biblically | Part 2

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They're the joyful agains our children shout on the swings, the

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exhausting agains of cooking and laundry,

and the difficult agains of discipline.

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So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

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So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

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to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

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We believe God's Word is

the key to untangle from the

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confusion and overwhelm we feel.

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Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

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Welcome back to the again,

podcast from entrusted ministries.

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where we believe that what moms do

over and over truly matters to God.

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I'm Stephanie Hickox, and in this

conversation, I'm joined by Jen

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Frechman and Emily Dio, as we

continue to discuss biblical emotions

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and how to handle our own Emotions

and the emotions of our children.

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In this portion of our conversation,

we are going to fire hose our favorite

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scriptures that the Lord has brought us to

handle all the fields in a more godly way.

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This episode is a little bit

shorter because we know we have

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a lot of scripture coming at you.

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Don't forget to check the show notes.

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So you can remember those references.

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Before we get to the episode, I would

love to share a really fun Valentine's

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idea I got from my friend, Amy.

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Each year on Valentine's day in her home,

she has each of the family members take

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turns standing in the center of the living

room, right on top of the coffee table.

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And then everyone spends a few moments

speaking into that person's life about

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how they see God working and how their

character is shining for the Lord.

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She says it's such a pivotal moment

in their family, and it's one of

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her favorite traditions all year.

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That's an easy one.

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You can pull off this

Valentine's Day with no prep.

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Also, I want to acknowledge

that sometimes, in the middle

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of these winter months, it can

get dreary and discouraging.

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I've been blessed by meditating

on a prayer in Psalm 90 lately.

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It begins, So teach us to number our

days, that we may get a heart of wisdom.

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Return, O Lord, how long?

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Have pity on your servants.

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Satisfy us in the morning with

your steadfast love that we may

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rejoice and be glad all our days.

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Make us glad for as many days

as you have afflicted us.

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And for as many years as we have

seen evil, let your works be

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shown to your servants and your

glorious power to their children.

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Let the favor of the Lord, our

God be upon us and establish

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the work of our hands upon us.

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Yes, establish the work of our hands.

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This has been so powerful to me

lately because it acknowledges

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we will have afflictions and

we will see evil on this earth.

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And yet every day, the steadfast love of

the Lord can satisfy us and give us joy.

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We're not going to reach a point in

our Christian walk where we don't

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need the Lord to refresh and renew

us Approach the throne of grace with

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confidence knowing that he longs to

give it to us And then, of course, when

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it says, let your power and glorious

works be shown to our children.

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Amen.

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We're all longing for that, right?

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And then establish the work of our hands.

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We need that as moms, Lord, and all we

are doing in these agains and agains,

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would you establish the work of our hands?

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May it be built on the foundation of you.

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And now I'll take you to part two of that

conversation on emotions, where I get

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a little bit more personal, and then we

share so many incredible scriptures the

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Lord has used to minister to our hearts.

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Be blessed.

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Steph: I have a personal testimony

where the Lord has actually

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radically transformed my thinking

on emotions the past six months.

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I, did not realize it, but I

definitely believed subconsciously

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that emotions were wrong.

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It was wrong to show emotions.

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I didn't really feel that way about

other people, but, that was a message

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I realized there were so many heavy

things in my life that I was battling

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between the changes in my husband due

to his MS and mostly being almost single

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working mother and dealing with so Many

things on my own with the Lord's support,

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of course, and really not having any break

to process or to deal with any of it.

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And people would say to

me, have you grieved?

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Have you grieved?

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Yeah, you can look at my schedule.

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When would you do that?

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I'm pressing into the Lord.

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I promise.

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But I don't really know when I would

grieve or, are there groups for that?

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I'm sure there are, but.

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Who would watch my children so

I could go it's been tricky.

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The Lord has been so faithful, but I've

noticed I just kept having the emotions

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bubble up and it felt like almost any

time someone asked me, how are you Steph?

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I would just start to get tears in

my eyes and it was like, stop it.

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Do not cry you're fine.

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And I would be so frustrated and ashamed.

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And I think looking back, it was like,

I have this pot on the stove and it's

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simmering and it's simmering, but the

pressures of life and the circumstances

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of life, the flame would get turned

up and I'm just pushing the lid down.

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Don't boil over, don't boil over.

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And it would bubble up

and it would bubble up.

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And I would say, stop it.

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I did feel like I'm, I'm

making it obedient to Christ.

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It's wrong to be so sad about this.

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Don't feel sorry for yourself.

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Don't be discouraged, all of the

things that feel godly to say.

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And It just wasn't working and I

realized even I would have shame over

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I'm not going to journal like I realized

that's why I don't like journaling

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because why would I write down my

emotions if I think that they're wrong.

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It's hard to process through that so

I would be very quick to identify the

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emotion I was feeling and to take it

to the Lord and process it with him.

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But to actually let myself feel deeply

and not feel shame over that was

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something I was really struggling with.

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And the Lord just really

helped make me aware of that.

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If it's not wrong then for me to take

my grief to him and to really empty

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out my heart before him, then now that

brings up so much freedom that I don't

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have to be the pot bubbling up anymore.

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I can empty myself out.

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I can pour myself out at his feet.

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That really for me was transformative.

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And I was working with a biblical

counselor through a lot of these issues

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and I think that's helpful in seasons

for sure when we're dealing with heavier

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things and she's been fantastic for me,

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In one session, I recall sharing this

revelation with her and she said, what

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did you think that the Psalms were?

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And I explained how I had believed

that everything that David or the

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Psalmist would be pouring out was

sharing all the ungodliness so that

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at the end they could get to the godly

part of acknowledging God's holiness

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and his sovereignty and his goodness.

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And she helped me realize that that

whole process of taking it to the

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Lord is godly because it's effective.

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even our culture right now is realizing

the benefit of lamenting and grieving.

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And as we said earlier, if the

purpose of emotions is to connect us

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with God, we need to embrace that.

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Even if the emotion itself does

need to be sanctified or does need

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to be made obedient to Christ, if

we actually sit in it for a second.

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and make sure that he does

help us get to the root of it.

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Then it can be healed

and we can move past it.

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But if we jump over it too quickly,

trying to fast forward through this

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process, we're not having true fellowship

with him and we're not going to

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experience freedom from the emotion.

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Emily: hmm.

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And this is very different than

saying all emotions are good.

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Biblically, there are many

emotions that are condemned.

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Jealousy and envy are a few examples.

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But we do still want to get to the root

of those issues, even when it is sinful.

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But that whole process of taking it to Him

can be a godly process that we don't need

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to be ashamed of and fast forward through.

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Emily: Yes.

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Steph: There are so many scriptures that

we could say that deal with emotions

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or that the Lord has used to meet us

in our emotions, we're gonna fire

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hose them, let's just throw out verses.

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Emily, you said you were

thinking of Galatians.

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Emily: Yes, I have Galatians 5 22 but

the fruit of the spirit is love, joy,

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peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness,

faithfulness, gentleness, and self

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control against such there is no law.

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I love this verse because I feel like

they're listed in this order of you have

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to have love and then love to joy and then

joy to peace and then so on and so forth.

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And then you get to the

bottom With self control.

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I love that gentleness

comes before self control.

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Because I feel like where there is no

gentleness without God in the center.

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And then there is no self control

without the gentleness of his goodness.

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So I love that self control is at the end

and that just speaks to everything above.

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Yes.

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That's so good.

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Would you read the prior two verses also?

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Emily: Yes, the acts of the flesh

are obvious sexual immorality,

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impurity, and debauchery, idolatry.

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And witchcraft, hatred, discord,

jealousy, fits of rage selfish ambition,

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dissension, factions, and envy,

drunkenness, orgies, and the like.

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I warn you, as I did before, that those

who live like this will not inherit.

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The kingdom of God.

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And then we have the contrast

below, but the fruit of the spirit

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is love, joy, peace, forbearance,

kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

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gentleness, and self control.

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I'm, there is no, no further polar

opposites than the list of the acts of

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the flesh and the fruit of the spirit.

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It's just like light and

darkness on one page.

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Steph: And it, those verses make it

so clear that emotions can be negative

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and the things we feel can be negative.

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And if they're We have to be so

careful because so often sin starts

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in our minds and in our hearts.

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And if we believe that what we

feel isn't wrong, then that can

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often lead to sinful actions.

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So when it says then in verse 24,

and those who belong to Christ,

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Jesus have crucified the flesh

with its passions and desires.

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We.

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Sometimes it's painful to tell

yourself you don't deserve any

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of those things that you want.

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Those are not good desires.

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Those are evil desires.

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And to choose love and patience in

hard times, because that's what the

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Lord has called us to, and that's

what Christ modeled on this earth.

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Emily: Yes.

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It's constantly dying to the list

above so we can have the list below.

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Jen: Totally.

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I love that.

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It's true.

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That's so good because that's

all in us apart from Christ.

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It's all in us.

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It's all there.

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Emily: Yes.

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I just got excited because you don't

have to dig very deep that top list.

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You don't have to dig very deep to find

that, but you do have to do dig deep.

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And be surrendered to the Holy

Spirit to have that second list.

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Steph: Mm and isn't it scary to see

envy in the middle of some of those

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or jealousy in the middle of those?

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You're like, it makes it, you realize

how wrong those things are and obviously,

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if we go back to the Ten Commandments,

we're told coveting, the Lord has

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warned us about that from Exodus.

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Emily: Yes.

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Steph: I thought of the Beatitudes,

blessed are the poor in spirit for

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theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

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Blessed are those who mourn

for they shall be comforted.

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Blessed are the meek for

they shall inherit the earth.

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Blessed are those who hunger

and thirst for righteousness

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for they shall be satisfied.

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Blessed are the merciful for

they shall receive mercy.

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Blessed are the pure in

heart for they shall see God.

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Blessed are the peacemakers, for

they shall be called sons of God.

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Blessed are those who are persecuted

for righteousness sake, for

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theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

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And blessed are you when others revile you

and persecute you and utter all kinds of

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evil against you, falsely on my account.

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Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is

great in heaven, for so they persecuted

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the prophets who were before you.

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It might not have a ton of emotions

named in those verses, Other than the

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mourning and comforting and rejoicing,

but I hear emotion with every situation

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and the depth of pain that you feel

in all of those things or the pure

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heartedness and the hope of seeing

the Lord in your circumstances.

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Jesus is so tender.

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And meeting his people where they're

at and promising himself and also

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that he came to experience all of

the things that we experience and

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did it perfectly without temptation.

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But he's so compassionate

towards us as we deal with them.

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Jen: That's great.

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I'm reminded of the verse in

Psalm 131 that says, I have

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calmed and quieted my soul.

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And if you think about what is my soul,

my mind, my will, and my emotions.

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And okay.

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We calm our minds.

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We talked about that,

taking our thoughts captive.

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Our will.

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That's the faculty of our mind by

which we like actually determine

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whether we're going to do something

or not, whether we're going to

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restrain on an action or not deciding

whether to do the good or the bad.

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And making that calm down and be like,

all right, what am I going to do?

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How am I going to handle this?

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And then our emotions obviously are just

by stopping the roller coaster of our

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emotions, maybe taking a deep breath,

reading scripture, singing a hymn, doing

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yoga, like any part of you that, that.

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to calm you down your emotions, but then

it's interesting because as we wait on

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him, most often he changes our hearts

before he even changes the situation, if

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he even is going to change the situation.

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So just remembering in the moments of

we are being charged to calm our own

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souls down and to take those thoughts

captive to him, but also realizing

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that the situation may not change.

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But my heart very well

needs to be changed.

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So true.

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Steph: I love in John 14,

27, Jesus says, peace.

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I leave with you my peace.

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I give to you not as the world gives.

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Do I give to you?

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Let not your hearts be troubled.

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Neither.

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Let them be afraid.

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And it's hard because again,

he's, he promises we're going

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to have trouble in this world.

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But he still promises us peace in it.

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People so often quote verse nine, but

I'm going to start at verse seven and

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Jeremiah 17 blessed is the man who trusts

in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.

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He is like a tree planted by water

that sends out its roots by the stream

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and does not fear when he comes for

its leaves remain green and is not

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anxious in the year of drought for

it does not cease to bear fruit.

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The heart is deceitful above

all things and desperately sick.

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Who can understand it?

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I the Lord search the heart and test the

mind to give every man according to his

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ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.

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And I think this is a picture of someone

who's planted themselves in the Lord.

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So you're meeting with him regularly,

you have the fruit of that relationship.

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So when the trial comes, when the

heat comes, when there's drought,

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you're not getting fearful.

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You're not getting anxious

because you have that time tested

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relationship that he is good.

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And so that's why you don't trust

in your emotions, even though it's

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acknowledging That there is a reason to

fear right you have the circumstances

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you can see the circumstances They

are scary, but you're not gonna fear

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because you're trusting in the Lord

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Emily: hmm.

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Jen: Amen.

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Emily: that's so good.

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Jen: I have this devotional

that goes through.

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The book of Isaiah.

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And so for the day that we were discussing

Isaiah 49, 14 through Isaiah 50.

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Verse three, this is what the

author said, and it's so good.

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Talking to yourself, we used to

say, is the first sign of madness.

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Far from it.

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Rather, it's an important sign

of Christian common sense,

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depending, of course, on what

you are saying to yourself.

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Paul puts it another way when he

says that we are transformed by the

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renewing of our mind in Romans 12, 2.

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And, of course, The mind is only renewed

by thinking of new and renewing topics.

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If we talk to ourselves about worldly

things, we develop a worldly mind.

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If we focus on things above,

we develop a heavenly mind.

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Colossians 3, 1 through 2.

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We can cultivate the mind of the

flesh or the mind of the spirit.

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Romans 8, 6, every thought entertained

disposes our minds in that direction.

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It matters what we talk

to ourselves about.

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And today in particular.

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What do we say to ourselves when things

go from bad to worse and despondency

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takes over the natural tendency,

and it often seems strong beyond

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resistance is to retire, hurt, and

moan to ourselves how terrible and

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unfair life is and to chew the fat.

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So they say go that way.

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And despondency feeds on itself and

deepens and darkens by the minute.

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Don't do it.

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Isaiah would counsel us.

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Feed your mind on the promises of God.

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: 00:17:28

Tell yourself all that

he has pledged to do.

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Hold on to his word.

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Look at the four promises

in today's scripture.

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He never forgets us, verse 14 through 16.

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He will increase his

church, 17 through 23.

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He will give it victory

over the world, 24 to 26.

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And he will ransom us from

every alien power, 1 through 3.

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Somewhere in that list, you can

position yourself in every situation.

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The Lord's therapy is to bring us by

means of his word pondered and understood

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out of depression and the downcast

face, Luke 24, 17 into the burning

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: 00:18:03

heart, the buoyant step and the assured

testimony, Luke 24, 32 through 35.

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I just thought that was so great.

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: 00:18:10

I copied that entire thing.

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: 00:18:12

And I.

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: 00:18:13

Circle I wrote renew my mind and I circled

it and I put that in like my little

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: 00:18:18

journal of prayers that I read when I'm

feeling different things that I'm like,

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: 00:18:21

Oh, I don't have the words to do this.

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: 00:18:23

I need to redirect my

heart towards the Lord.

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: 00:18:25

And it's like my own little every moment.

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: 00:18:28

Holy.

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: 00:18:29

I just tuck that away for those

times when I'm like, my mind

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: 00:18:31

is racing and I am not able to.

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: 00:18:34

Take these thoughts even captive

because I don't even know what

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: 00:18:36

one to take captive first.

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Steph: Yeah.

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Jen: Been so helpful for me.

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Steph: Yeah.

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That's really beautiful.

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: 00:18:43

I love Isaiah.

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: 00:18:44

Matthew 6.

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: 00:18:46

And it says therefore I tell you, do

not be anxious about your life, what

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you will eat or what you will drink, nor

about your body, what you will put on.

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: 00:18:54

Is not life more than food and

the body more than clothing?

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: 00:18:57

Look at the birds of the air.

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: 00:18:59

They neither sow nor reap, nor

gather into barns, and yet your

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: 00:19:02

heavenly father feeds them.

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: 00:19:04

Are you not of more value than they?

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: 00:19:06

And which of you by being anxious can

add a single hour to his span of life?

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: 00:19:11

And why are you anxious about clothing?

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: 00:19:13

Consider the lilies of

the field, how they grow.

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: 00:19:15

They neither toiled nor spin yet, I

tell you, even Solomon and all his

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: 00:19:19

glory was not arrayed like one of these.

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: 00:19:21

But if God so clothes the grass of the

field, which today is alive, and tomorrow

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: 00:19:26

is thrown into the oven, will he not much

more clothe you, O you of little faith?

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: 00:19:31

Therefore do not be anxious, saying,

What shall we eat, or what shall

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: 00:19:33

we drink, or what shall we wear?

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: 00:19:35

For the Gentiles seek after all

these things, and your heavenly

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: 00:19:37

Father knows that you need them.

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: 00:19:40

But seek first the kingdom of God

and His righteousness, and all

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: 00:19:43

these things will be added unto you.

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: 00:19:45

Therefore do not be anxious

about tomorrow, for tomorrow

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: 00:19:48

will be anxious for itself.

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: 00:19:50

Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

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: 00:19:52

I think about how much time I've spent

thinking about how to care well for

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: 00:19:58

my children's bodies, how to feed them

well, how to just bless the, those

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: 00:20:03

little bodies or to bless my body.

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: 00:20:05

And God is sovereign and he's good.

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: 00:20:08

And I come back to that passage so

often and it just brings me like instant

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: 00:20:12

peace to trust him with those things.

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: 00:20:14

Jen: There's a book called God Smuggler.

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: 00:20:17

This is one of our favorite

books as in our homeschool.

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: 00:20:21

And one of the things that I loved a

quote in there said, Help me learn to

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: 00:20:26

talk more about the goodness of you.

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: 00:20:29

Then the problems in my heart,

and I thought that was so great.

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: 00:20:33

Like just reminding us to constantly

be talking about the goodness of God.

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: 00:20:37

And that doesn't mean that we

ignore all the problems that go

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: 00:20:41

on by any means, but you know what

I'm talking about when you are.

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: 00:20:45

in your mind, just all the

problems that you have and how

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: 00:20:48

hard your life is at this moment.

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: 00:20:49

We've all been there.

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: 00:20:50

We're all where we throw a pity

party in our minds for ourselves.

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: 00:20:54

I've done that.

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: 00:20:55

I've definitely been like, God, why are

you making this so hard on me right now?

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: 00:20:58

Can you just ease up and let a few things

go well, but in those moments, just to

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: 00:21:03

remind myself I want to talk about the

goodness of God more than my problems.

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: 00:21:07

I just want to, I want to focus on him.

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: 00:21:09

Because I do know and I do believe

and I do trust in the depths of

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: 00:21:12

my heart that he is working all

things together for my good.

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: 00:21:16

Even when I don't feel it, even

when I don't see it, it's easy to

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: 00:21:20

focus sometimes on our problems.

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: 00:21:22

Emily: I love Ephesians 4, 2.

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: 00:21:25

And it, it says, be completely

humble and gentle, be patient,

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: 00:21:30

bearing one another in love.

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: 00:21:33

And I, I love it because anytime it speaks

to, first of all, being humble and gentle,

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: 00:21:39

I just find that so endearing in the word.

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: 00:21:42

I think because it's so Anti Where

we're at in culture right now.

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: 00:21:47

And so I love be humble and gentle,

but but in right in the middle, , it

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: 00:21:51

speaks to being patient and and it's

sometimes very hard to be patient.

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: 00:21:57

We want to get places faster.

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: 00:21:59

We want to heal quicker.

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: 00:22:02

We want the trial to go away.

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: 00:22:05

But God brings us to these places

of sometimes, honestly, desperation.

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: 00:22:10

So he can teach us how

to be patient in him.

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: 00:22:14

And so I love that middle part

that speaks to being patient.

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: 00:22:19

And then it ends with bearing

with one another in love.

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: 00:22:24

And I, I just, when I read that, I often

picture like someone coming alongside

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: 00:22:29

you and just saying, picking up your,

your anxiety with you or your hurt or

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: 00:22:35

your pain and, and bearing it with you.

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: 00:22:38

And I love that picture.

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: 00:22:40

Steph: Yeah.

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: 00:22:40

There's a lot of laying down of emotions

to be able to get to that point.

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: 00:22:45

If probably consistently.

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: 00:22:47

Hebrews 13, five and six.

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: 00:22:49

It says, I will never

leave you nor forsake you.

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: 00:22:53

So we can confidently say the

Lord is my helper, I will not

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: 00:22:56

fear what can man do to me.

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: 00:22:58

Emily: hmm.

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: 00:22:59

That's so comforting.

415

: 00:23:00

Steph: I was even thinking about the

introduction of so many of the letters

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: 00:23:05

when they say grace and peace to you.

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: 00:23:07

And.

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: 00:23:08

That was just today.

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: 00:23:09

I was like, wow, how often it's like they

know we need peace on this earth We know

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: 00:23:16

just living on this earth it we have to

meditate on the Lord to maintain peace

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: 00:23:22

Emily: hmm.

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: 00:23:23

Yeah, in every, in every age that

man has lived and in every stage.

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: 00:23:29

It doesn't matter maintaining peace

within our mind and heart has never come

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: 00:23:34

naturally to us because we have this

inner conflict of, of our sin nature

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: 00:23:41

and on this side of heaven, we will

always be asking the Lord for help.

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: 00:23:45

Jen: Yeah.

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: 00:23:46

There's so much more to come.

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: 00:23:48

We'll see you next week.

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: 00:23:49

But before you go, I just like to ask

you to leave a review for the podcast.

430

: 00:23:53

We want to help as many moms

as possible who are looking for

431

: 00:23:57

biblical encouragement to find it.

432

: 00:23:59

And your review will help that happen.

433

: 00:24:02

Steph: We know you're busy, Mama,

so we are truly grateful you joined

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: 00:24:06

us for this episode of Again.

435

: 00:24:08

If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

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: 00:24:11

foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

437

: 00:24:15

EntrustedMinistries.

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: 00:24:17

com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

439

: 00:24:22

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

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: 00:24:25

world, and we want it for you, too.

441

: 00:24:28

Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

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: 00:24:31

from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

443

: 00:24:35

We're rooting for you.

444

: 00:24:38

To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

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: 00:24:43

calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good, and every work of faith by

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: 00:24:48

His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

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: 00:24:54

Him, according to the grace of our God.

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: 00:24:57

And the Lord Jesus Christ.

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: 00:25:00

Amen.

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: 00:25:01

Until we meet again.