Episode 27

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Published on:

6th Mar 2024

That Episode You Released On That Topic You Need A Big Tune-Up In: Self-Care

We don't claim to have it all together--and this is one topic we need to be reminded of too! Whether it's a busy season that is taking us by storm, needing to reevaluate priorities and commitments, or just wrapping up the school year well, the topic of self-care can be a convicting one! Christian moms are called to serve, but where does it end? When is it to sacrificial? There are some truly discerning words in this discussion between Emily, Jen, and Stephanie. We hope you are guided to some solutions with the right heart and for His glory! May this lighten your load and increase your joy in the Savior!

Transcript
Speaker:

They're the joyful agains our children

shout on the swings, the exhausting

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agains of cooking and laundry, and

the difficult agains of discipline.

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So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

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So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

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to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

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We believe God's word is

the key to untangle from the

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confusion and overwhelm we feel.

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Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

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Welcome to another episode of

the again, podcast brought to

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you by entrusted ministries.

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I'm your host, Stephanie Hickox and

today I'm joined in a discussion

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by Jen Frackman and Emily deal.

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I have to be honest with you.

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We recorded this episode quite some

time ago, and I just didn't quite

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have peace about releasing it.

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You see, I would never want to put

a burden upon your back or have you

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questioned the way you're doing things

that isn't from the holy spirit.

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We really are here to help

make your load lighter.

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Now with some months of processing.

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I think I've realized why I had some

trepidation about releasing this episode,

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even though there is so much wisdom in it.

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The Lord has revealed to me that

I needed a tune up in this area.

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And that I really need to

be adjusting some things.

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And I think that that's

why I didn't have peace.

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Has I relisten to it.

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I'm so grateful for the reminders

that these a wonderfully wise

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women brought to the table.

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It is a truly wonderful conversation

to think about and process.

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With our savior.

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I pray that the holy spirit

would make the moments that you

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need to hear stand out to you.

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And this certainly isn't the only episode

on self care that we'll be releasing.

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It's such an important topic.

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And it can go so many

different directions.

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But without further ado.

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I'll bring to you some very

wise words from Jen and Emily.

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We hope they make your yogis here, mama.

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Steph: Jen, if you had a Saturday

all to yourself and didn't have any

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responsibilities, how would you spend it

and how would you like to be recharged?

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Jen: question.

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the first thing that comes to my

mind is I would go to a really cute

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quaint coffee shop and I would get

a good coffee and a good book and I

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would sit there for a while enjoying

the ambience of the place and the

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quiet and I would read for a while.

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I would do devotions and Hear the

Lord speak to me for a little bit and

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then I would probably pull out some

watercolors and paint for a while or

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do something creative and then I think

I'd go for a walk outside somewhere

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and be in nature just to get the sun

in my eyes and on my face and then

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I'd probably go to a friend's house.

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I don't know.

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I don't, I need just a

little bit of alone time.

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I don't need a lot, but I definitely

need a little bit to recharge me.

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That's probably how I would spend it.

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That sounds like such a

balanced, refreshing day.

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I love it.

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Emily, what's coming to mind for you.

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Emily: The antique store.

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Now, this would be a long day

with unlimited funds, girls, so

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I would go to the antique store

and then I would make something.

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Making something always, well, the

antique store gets my brain, like,

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thinking about ideas and things

and how I want to move everything.

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And then And then I would want to make

something, or maybe pour some candles, or

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just do something creative with my hands.

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And then I would definitely want

to end the day with a friend.

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Maybe go out to dessert

and some good conversation.

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Where you jump right into the deep end

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that would be a really

recharging day for me.

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The antique store does

not surprise me at all.

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Emily.

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I knew that was going to come

out and your answer for sure.

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I could go so many ways at this one.

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I'm going to say that I would love to

wake up somewhat early and go kayaking.

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I think it's so peaceful and

beautiful in the morning.

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And I would just love to be in

creation, especially on the water.

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then after that, I would.

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Get a really.

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Awesome coffee drink

and have my quiet time.

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And then go to brunch with a friend.

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Watercolor painting.

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That's something I have on my

list continually that I don't

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get to as much as I'd like.

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But I think is really

peaceful and relaxing.

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And then maybe I would do something

silly, like organize a closet sometimes.

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Bringing order out of chaos

really makes me happy or finding

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a better way to do something.

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And then maybe reading a book and

if I fell asleep, Take an app.

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That'd be great.

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And then getting dressed up and going.

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For dinner.

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I like to be fancy subtypes.

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So I feel that would be a really

well-rounded relaxing day for me.

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Emily: So now we need to take a week and

we can each do our fun thing all together.

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Steph: hmm

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Emily: That would be so fun.

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I'm here for it.

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I love that idea.

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Uh, today's episode is going to

correspond with entrusted with

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the child's heart lesson three.

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In which Betsy talks about

personal convictions.

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Personally, I had so many light bulb

moments when I took and trusted.

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And on this lesson in particular, when

Betsy walks through Romans 14, there are

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so many issues that believers disagree

about that are personal convictions

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and things that we need to respect

one another for, but then there are

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also a lot of biblical convictions.

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In which we need to stand firm.

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I think Betsy does a fantastic

job at clarifying, which is which.

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But I found when I led groups, when

we would start to talk afterwards

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about some ways of thinking that are

prevalent in our culture right now.

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That might be counter to scripture.

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This idea of self care

came up quite a bit.

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It's coming up a lot

in the world right now.

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I feel it's almost impossible to

have a discussion about motherhood

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without talking about self care.

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And the world is offering

a very different solution.

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Then the church.

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Steph: I haven't found it

discussed as much in church, I

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don't know about either of you.

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Emily: no.

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Jen: I agree.

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I don't think it's something

that we've talked about too much,

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but the world definitely is.

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Emily: And I think when the world Speaks

loudly and the church remains silent.

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There's a lot there for interpretation,

and I think a lot gets lost.

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So discernment is so important.

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Jen: True.

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Steph: We want to talk today about

a biblical response to self care,

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and obviously, as we've said many

times, motherhood can be exhausting,

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and you feel weary, and we want

to discuss what do you do with

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those feelings that are legitimate?

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What is a godly response to pouring

yourself out day in and day out?

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What can we do with those feelings that

Would be more honoring to the Lord than

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the solutions the world is offering.

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Jen, what comes to mind for you

when you think about self care

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Jen: Well, I think the world definitely

gives the mommy going to Target and

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roaming the aisles and needlessly

buying things or sometimes, putting

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things in your cart and thinking

about them and then just walking

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out the store and not buying them.

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I've heard of people doing that.

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I've actually feel like I've

done that a couple times myself.

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Emily: I, yes, I agree, Jen.

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I think there's many different

ways when you think of it.

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As far as self care goes and when

we're talking about personal conviction

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I think that's why this topic might

be a little difficult to discuss

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because it, how we approach this

subject is a personal conviction.

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And that's something that can really only

be established between you and the Lord

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and talking it over with your husband.

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And so at the end of the day, you, like

anything else, I think you have to search.

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What the Lord is leading

you to do in this area.

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I think often the struggle comes in when

the need for immediate gratification

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overrides our Discernment, and to

see that we actually may need to

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dig a little deeper and look into

our own heart and look what it is

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we're trying to rosé all day away.

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Jen: Yeah.

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Emily: So, while there is nothing

wrong with with doing things you

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enjoy, God created us to be creative

and to find ways to delight in him.

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So, there's nothing wrong with doing

those things, but when they become that

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idol, that's when the struggle comes in,

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Steph: And when you mentioned this is

a little bit of a tricky topic to speak

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to, I think part of that is also because

we all have different personalities.

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There are some moms that need to be

told, hey, it's okay to sit down.

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Rest is good.

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And then there are some moms

it's okay to work, and we don't

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always know who we're speaking to.

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And that's what makes the Word of God

so wonderful because it's going to

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convict us regardless of where we're

at, but we're definitely in a culture,

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where productivity is almost worshipped.

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And rest is always on the back burner

we're going to move forward with the

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assumption that as mothers, we're

probably working too hard and that

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this idea of self care is born out of

a legitimate need and desire for rest.

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Emily: Yes.

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Motherhood was not meant to be a

place of exasperation and exhaustion.

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Motherhood was meant for holiness,

and the very definition of

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holiness means to be set apart.

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And if moms aren't set apart, then

I don't know what is set apart.

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We're set apart to care for our families

and to make sure everyone is at their

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appointment and to make sure that the

lunch is packed and the schedules are

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made and the doctors are on the calendar.

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We're set apart for so many things.

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And when we aren't giving all of our

business, busyness back to him and

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allowing him to control our calendar.

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Exhaustion can so easily set in.

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That's

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Jen: Yeah, very true.

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I think that sometimes for moms, we

can become so busy and so enthralled in

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meeting everybody else's needs that we

forget to meet some of our own needs.

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We've all been there.

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I'm certain where we've been

like, why am I so hungry?

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And then it's oh, yeah I made everyone

else lunch and I was cutting up the

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chicken nuggets for someone and I only had

two bites of their chicken nuggets While

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I was serving everyone I forgot to eat.

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And so I think that the difference

between that Where you are meeting the

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needs of all the people and it's busy

and it's hard and it's exhausting.

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I think that's a different thing,

a different entity than what we're

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talking about, even with the whole

going to get away from something,

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running towards something just to, to

quiet your mind or to quiet your soul.

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And.

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Be distracted.

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And I think that is, that's a huge thing

right now with moms being distracted.

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And so when they're going on their

social media, it's Oh, it's some

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time for me to have for myself.

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It's really just a distraction.

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It's really something that they're doing

to get their minds off of where they are.

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And I think We, and I'm including

myself in this, we need to stop and

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pause and say, why am I doing this?

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Why do I feel distracted?

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Why do I feel like I need to escape?

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Why, what is going on?

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Am I hungry?

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Do I just need to eat some food and

get some calories and fat into my body?

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Or Am I running because

there's an unquieted soul

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that my soul is discontented?

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And if that's the case, no matter

where I run, no matter what I do, if

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I could go to target all day and I

still won't have the contentment in my

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heart that my heart is searching for.

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And so I think some of what.

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This self care thing that's going on is

really just moms distracting themselves

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and not realizing their soul is hungry for

the Lord and it needs to be met in them.

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I have a quote from a book called The Art

of Divine Contentment by Thomas Watson.

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I love this book.

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Legit have so many quotes on

pieces of paper and I put it in my

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bathroom so that I can see it when

I'm getting ready in the morning.

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And one of those quotes says,

discontentment puts the heart into

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disorder and mutiny and such as one

cannot serve the Lord without distraction.

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Discontent does not only disquiet a

man's self, but those who are near him.

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This evil spirit troubles families.

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Discontent troubles us more

than the trouble itself.

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And I think so often that's the case

where we're discontent with something.

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Who knows what that is?

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We're not happy about something that

the way life is working out And we

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have this angst in us, this discontent

that we don't even realize because we're

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so busy running the kids from thing to

thing and caring for other people and

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serving others that we haven't stopped

to say, what's the state of my heart?

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Why is this angst here?

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What's going on?

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What am I discontent about?

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if you look at self care through

those lens that you need to

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help yourself, then yes, you do.

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You need that self care.

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Eric always jokes around with me

whenever we're on the airplane and

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they're like, please, in the event of

an emergency, please put your mask on

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yourself first before assisting others.

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And he looks at me and

he's yes, that's you.

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Because as a mom, we don't do that.

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We're like no, I got

to help the other kids.

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I got to help everybody else first.

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And so.

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Yes, we are called to serve.

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We are called to die to self, but if

we're doing the self care in the terms

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of trying to distract ourselves, we

need to check our hearts and be like,

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wait, no, that's not what I want to do.

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Emily: That's so good.

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The enemy is the master of distraction

and he knows exactly what it is and

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it will be different for everybody.

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To to get them to a point of distraction.

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And when we're in those places,

it's so easy to live to please

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ourselves instead of plowing deep

and doing the heartwork of change.

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It's so easy to mask with all of these.

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Simple fixes.

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The gospel is the only counter cultural

thing that was truly the answer because

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the gospel calls us to this place of, of

total opposites of dying to self for gain.

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And they're nowhere out there are

we going to hear those things.

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And that is the heart, the hard deep

work that God calls us to daily.

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When we're so distracted by the

enemy, he calls us to die to

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ourselves and to put him first.

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So it's incredibly counter cultural.

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But it's also the answer.

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Jen: One of our favorite, my favorite

verses is that I will most gladly spend

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and be spent for the sake of your souls.

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If we're doing that and we're exhausted.

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Well, good.

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That's good.

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We need to be doing that.

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But if we are Exhausted just because we're

running around from thing to thing and we

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haven't spent any time with the Lord and

we're not filling ourselves With the Holy

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Spirit and being saturated in his word and

we're doing it on our own effort and our

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own strength and ability that's not holy.

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That's not what God wants of us.

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Emily: Do you girls think there is a

difference between that exhaustion,

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which you're talking about, which is

almost, can these two words exist?

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Can it be a fulfilling exhaustion?

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It feels like it is rather than

a depleted exhaustion in which

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it's driven by our need for

bigger, better, greater, prettier.

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The material things, is

what I'm speaking to.

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There's, those two

exhaustions are so different.

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One is filled daily by the Holy

Spirit in giving us replenishment

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and the other is never satisfied.

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Jen: carnal and one is holy

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Steph: Also it's what is the

end result that we're going for.

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If we are really believing that

we're doing this beautiful thing for

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eternity, that we're pointing souls

to Christ, then we are not measuring

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our effectiveness day by day saying.

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It's not going well,

I need to numb myself.

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Or, today was a hard day,

I need to escape from it.

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I think we set out and have these ideal

visions for what it's going to look like,

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and in reality there's a lot of noisy

moments at the dinner table, and it takes

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years to teach kids manners, and There are

just so many battles and, potty training

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is exhausting and getting your children

to sleep through the night can be so hard.

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And making all of the meals that

we do and all of the laundry, it's

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easy to get to lose sight of the

eternal value of what we're doing.

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And that's why we started the podcast,

focusing on those things and on the

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agains, redeeming that because It's

just so easy to get caught up in

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the mundane moments and to not to

get caught up in not seeing fruit.

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And so then we feel justified in

wanting something that's going to

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bring us pleasure or an escape.

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Jen: sure.

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And then I think pride can convince us

that we deserve more, that this book,

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Humble Roots, it's an excellent book.

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There's a quote in it that says,

since pride convinces us that we are

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more significant than we really are,

it also convinces us that we deserve

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a certain experience of this world.

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And when something

disrupts that expectation.

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Our pride reveals itself

by complaining or in anger.

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And I would add to that.

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Or by escaping.

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We get upset because we deserve better

and I can't handle this and I need to

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escape off into, a two hour workout.

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That can be just as selfish as

going and having rosé all day.

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It's where your heart is

back to that whole thing.

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If you are going off and you're hanging

out with your girlfriends and you are

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filled with the Holy Spirit, Awesome.

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Live in that joy.

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God, we are free in Christ.

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This isn't a weight that we're supposed to

live like rules and, Oh, I can't do this

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because I haven't spent time in the word.

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That's not the heart behind

what I'm trying to say.

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It's more of dying to self

and living a life of service.

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Doesn't mean that we can't enjoy life.

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It means we have life abundantly

and that when it's rightly ordered.

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If we are abiding in Christ, then

by all means we can enjoy it.

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But if we're not abiding in Christ, if

we're running from our sin or trying

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to escape something, we just need to

be honest with ourselves and ask God

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to reveal our hearts to us, which are

so deceitful and desperately wicked.

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Why do I feel this way, Lord?

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Why do I feel depleted?

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And my mentor once told me, You wouldn't

be feeling this way if you were abiding

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and I was like, oh you're so right

What I'm feeling right now is because

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I'm not abiding in Christ And so I

think some of it is yeah, am I abiding?

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Am I doing this in the joy of

the Lord or am I doing this?

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To get away and to cover up or

to mask or push down something

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that I don't want to deal with.

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Steph: Ouch,

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Jen: Oh

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Steph: you.

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Emily: Yeah, as you were speaking, Jen,

I just jotted these two things down, and

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I because you got my wheels spinning,

and I thought, I wonder if a couple good

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questions to ask ourselves when we're

trying to discern this is are we looking

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to numb something, or are we delighting in

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Jen: Yeah

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Emily: Which which is it the

direction that we're headed?

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If we're looking to numb something,

then probably there's something

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that we need to deal with heart

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Jen: Yeah.

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Emily: But if we're delighting in

goodness, the fruit of a friendship

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or the list could go on and on.

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If we're delighting in goodness and

it's a time of rest and renewal then

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maybe that's our measuring stick.

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Steph: Definitely and then a

check in after the activity,

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was that really life giving?

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You know when you've spent

time with a friend and you're

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like, that was what I needed.

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Thank you, Lord.

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And your spirit automatically

goes to praise, right?

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And so you know that was life

giving, what I needed, Lord.

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Emily: Yes.

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Yes.

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Steph: But if afterwards

you're like, it's still there.

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The heaviness is still there.

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You know you're still running,

if all, you're looking for

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the next thing to numb you.

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So I think, yes, going in we can check our

spirit and then going out of a situation.

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Jen: Psalm 131, I'm reminded it says,

Oh Lord, my heart is not lifted up.

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And then it goes on to say, but I

have calmed and quieted my soul.

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And so he charges us.

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To do that, we are to calm and quiet

our souls, but how are we doing that?

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How are quieting?

376

:

And are we taking note of our soul?

377

:

What is our soul, our mind,

our will, and our emotions?

378

:

And so how am I quieting my soul?

379

:

Is it carnal?

380

:

Or is it holy in the

way that I'm doing that?

381

:

Steph: In Jeremiah 6 16 it says, Thus

says the Lord, Stand by the roads and

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:

look, and ask for the ancient paths,

where the good way is, and walk in

383

:

it, and find rest for your souls.

384

:

And I think often we're trying to

find new solutions to old problems.

385

:

The, life on this earth has always

been disappointing in some ways

386

:

and exhausting in some ways, and

it's not what we were made for.

387

:

And so instead of setting our hearts

on eternity and looking to the Lord,

388

:

we're trying to find all these solutions

for a deeper problem when we could

389

:

find rest for our souls in the Lord.

390

:

And then in Matthew 11, 28 29, Jesus

says, Come to me, all who labor and are

391

:

heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

392

:

Take my yoke upon you and learn from

me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart,

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:

and you will find rest for your souls.

394

:

That same phrase, for my yoke

is easy and my burden is light.

395

:

And I, what an interesting phrase, right?

396

:

Take my yoke upon you and

you'll find rest for your souls.

397

:

He's saying there is a different

way to carry the weight

398

:

that you have in this life.

399

:

And it's walking with

him, doing it with him.

400

:

We're going to find his rest, but I know

for me, that's got to be an absolutely

401

:

regular practice or it feels heavy again.

402

:

Jen: yeah, for sure.

403

:

In this book, Growing in Gratitude

by Mary Mohler, Al Mohler's

404

:

wife, it was a fabulous read.

405

:

I'd highly recommend it.

406

:

It was really good.

407

:

One portion of that book said,

If we love people well and have

408

:

the power and capacity to help,

then we are going to be busy.

409

:

Jesus was busy and was always,

and always made prayer a priority.

410

:

Learning to pray doesn't

offer us a less busy life.

411

:

It offers us a less busy heart.

412

:

The quest for a serene contemplative

life can actually be self

413

:

absorbed, focused on quiet and me.

414

:

In the midst of outer busyness, we

can develop an inner quiet because

415

:

we are less hectic on the inside.

416

:

We have a greater capacity

to love and thus to be busy.

417

:

Which in turn drives us even

more into a life of prayer.

418

:

And I just love that because I

think sometimes this self care,

419

:

not always, but sometimes self care

is just a self absorbed, I need to

420

:

fill me and then I can fill you.

421

:

Where yes, we need be filled with

the Holy Spirit so that out of the

422

:

overflow of the Holy Spirit, we can

give unto our families and our friends.

423

:

We don't fill us and become self absorbed

with us by filling that with yoga,

424

:

quiet times of focusing on what we need.

425

:

We do that praying and being alone

with the Lord and letting him fill us.

426

:

Emily: We can't pour from an empty

427

:

Jen: No.

428

:

Emily: and it has to be

filled with the right things.

429

:

We are so busy moms.

430

:

Our worlds are busy.

431

:

We're driving our kids places.

432

:

We're talking about things

that are exhausting with them.

433

:

We are doing all the things.

434

:

And we're trying to do them

well, and we're exhausted.

435

:

But I think, but when we assess this

whole subject of self care and this

436

:

whole, how we approach it are we filling

ourselves up with the right things?

437

:

we filling ourselves up with the word?

438

:

And it's so easy to jump on

these quick bandaid fixes

439

:

Jen: Yeah.

440

:

Emily: and it's so hard to

yield our spirit over to him.

441

:

Jen: True.

442

:

Emily: And I just think how.

443

:

It would revolutionize us as mothers

and this whole topic of self care

444

:

if we just daily surrendered,

daily gave, and daily pursued him.

445

:

Jen: Yeah.

446

:

you imagine if every mother every day

Was filled with the Holy Spirit, out of

447

:

the overflow of her heart, serving every

member in her family, every neighbor

448

:

that she meets, her person that she's

coming across in the grocery aisle.

449

:

It could revolutionize, like you said.

450

:

It would be a huge difference to this

world, let alone to our children.

451

:

I think often, we're busy, and some of it,

I'm not convinced God's put on our plates.

452

:

I think we need to stop and be like

Okay, Lord, I feel exhausted and busy

453

:

and I'm not able to do the things

that I want to be able to do it well.

454

:

Is there something on my plate?

455

:

Either and.

456

:

Can come off or needs to come off because

I've put it there and you haven't.

457

:

Do I need to say no more?

458

:

Do I need to realize that I am not

somebody else's savior, that somebody

459

:

else can come in and meet that need?

460

:

I don't have to be that one.

461

:

So do I humble myself and allow

someone else to meet that need?

462

:

Or just asking the question,

am I doing too much?

463

:

And letting the Lord answer that for us.

464

:

Emily: That is so good.

465

:

I once heard, and I know I've

said it, I'm sure I've said it on

466

:

here before but I love it so much.

467

:

I once heard someone say our

calendar is an act of worship.

468

:

And if we are feeling so busy,

let's take it back to the calendar

469

:

and let's see what we're committing

ourselves to and our families to.

470

:

So often we can point to

that source of exhaustion.

471

:

Now, our lives run in seasons, and

some seasons are just busier, and you

472

:

have to do all the things on there.

473

:

There's no way around it.

474

:

But if God has called you to that

season, he will equip you with the

475

:

fortitude to get through that season.

476

:

So that goes back to that,

what we were discussing earlier

477

:

are we when we walk away from.

478

:

Whatever the thing is, are we

feeling that we want to praise

479

:

him, or are we feeling depleted

480

:

Jen: Yeah.

481

:

Emily: Are assessing our calendars?

482

:

Jen: Yeah, that's true.

483

:

Steph: Yeah, I have some unique

circumstances in my life, with

484

:

my husband one of his main

symptoms is just exhaustion.

485

:

We saw that happened pretty early on

in our marriage, we didn't know what

486

:

was happening until we'd had our fourth

child, but I was quite used to doing

487

:

quite a bit on my own.

488

:

And then he got diagnosed, and now we

understood a reason, but it doesn't

489

:

change the circumstances that we're

in, and with the financial implications

490

:

of his diagnosis, I've needed to work,

I do choose to homeschool, so it's an

491

:

interesting, I know there's a lot of

people that look at my life and think,

492

:

well, that's the obvious thing you

could take off your plate, but It is

493

:

one of the most life giving parts of

my life I realized I do still make a

494

:

choice, but I feel that there are many

things in my life where I can't change

495

:

and the Lord has put things on my

plate and he does strengthen me for it.

496

:

In Psalm 18, verse 29, it says for

by you, I can run against a troop and

497

:

by my God, I can leap over a wall.

498

:

This God, His way is perfect.

499

:

The word of the Lord proves true.

500

:

He is a shield for all those

who take refuge in him.

501

:

For who is God but the Lord, and

who is a rock except our God?

502

:

The God who equipped me with

strength and made my way blameless.

503

:

He made my feet like the deer

and set me secure on the heights.

504

:

He trains my hands for war so that

my arms can bend a bowl of bronze.

505

:

You have given me the shield of your

salvation, and your right hand supported

506

:

me, and your gentleness made me great.

507

:

And then later it says, for you equipped

me with strength for the battle.

508

:

And this is a passage the Lord put

on my heart a couple years ago to

509

:

have faith in the strength that he's

giving me and that he will continue

510

:

to give me for what is important to

him and for what he's put on my plate.

511

:

And I'm so grateful for that.

512

:

And I feel I have to have regular check

ins like, is this sustainable, Lord?

513

:

This going to be okay for me?

514

:

Or?

515

:

When I hear about books like The

Body Will Keep the Score, I'm

516

:

like, no, Lord, please don't.

517

:

Please stop.

518

:

You're giving me a supernatural

override on this one.

519

:

And I just have to take it day by day but

I do find how the sweetness of the Lord.

520

:

And how he refreshes me and

does sweet things for me, or he

521

:

knows my love language is gifts.

522

:

Maybe I'm very busy, but a

friend will give me something

523

:

that just makes me feel so seen.

524

:

Turning to music, maybe as I'm loading

the dishwasher, I put on some really

525

:

fun music because I know It's going

to lighten my spirit, turn me to him

526

:

or just strengthen me to continue.

527

:

I think there are these little things that

we can do in life that make the burdens

528

:

feel not as heavy and honestly, just

asking for prayer when the burdens are too

529

:

heavy and we don't know how to lift them.

530

:

One of my best friends just

had her first baby and.

531

:

This woman was made to be a mother.

532

:

She is like Mother flesh.

533

:

She has delivered babies in Africa.

534

:

She's ministered in India.

535

:

She's incredible.

536

:

And stateside, she's been a NICU nurse

and this baby, he just, he doesn't

537

:

know how amazing his mother is yet.

538

:

He just knows that he, well,

maybe he does cause he wants 24

539

:

seven and he's not her a break.

540

:

as you were saying earlier,

we do have those seasons.

541

:

It's where it is too much.

542

:

It's too much for our flesh and we

have to ask for prayer and have faith

543

:

that we're going to come out of it.

544

:

Thank I would have despaired if I

had not believed see the goodness of

545

:

the Lord in the land of the living.

546

:

, I think that there are seasons where it

is too much for us and we're going to

547

:

break unless we completely press into him.

548

:

Emily: Oh, that's so good stuff.

549

:

I hear you speak about the seasons

and the busyness and your friend so

550

:

fondly, I think also as we're talking

about these different seasons and

551

:

busyness that they bring That's why

it's so important to surround ourselves

552

:

with edifying relationships and

that know us and see where our heart

553

:

is and understand our struggle and

that can come alongside us and pray.

554

:

And just be a sounding board for us.

555

:

There's so much rest and renewal

and just honestly feeling

556

:

seen in the busyness of life.

557

:

It's all the more reason to surround

ourselves with people who are running the

558

:

same race and seeking the same thing that

we are so we can encourage each other.

559

:

Jen: For

560

:

Steph: So we need an honest assessment of

where we are at to be able to for prayer.

561

:

And if we're numbing ourselves, we

can't possibly get to that point

562

:

of recognizing our true need.

563

:

Jen: True.

564

:

And we need to then be

humble to ask for the help.

565

:

Sometimes there's the gird up

your loins verse in the scripture.

566

:

And there's times where we just need

to gird up our loins and we need

567

:

to bear through it and get it done.

568

:

But there's other times where we need

to stop and say, I can't do this.

569

:

It's too much.

570

:

And I need your help.

571

:

And we were not meant To

carry that load by ourselves.

572

:

And so part of what the Lord may be

teaching us through that, by putting

573

:

all those things on our plates, is

to humble ourselves and to share the

574

:

burden with other fellow believers.

575

:

And I don't know about you, but when

I have gone through hard times, It can

576

:

be hard to ask for help or to humble

myself and say, can you pray for me?

577

:

We're dealing with this or we're

dealing with that because, everybody

578

:

has issues and each horse think their

own pack heaviest, so I sometimes

579

:

feel they have their things.

580

:

They don't need to be burdened

with mine, but that's not what

581

:

the Lord would have for us.

582

:

That's not at all.

583

:

He wants us to.

584

:

Live life with other believers, and

sometimes the act of humbling ourselves

585

:

and asking for that prayer or that help

or even just being honest and saying,

586

:

you know what, I'm sorry, it's too busy

this week, I can't do that, but I would

587

:

love to meet with you next week sometime.

588

:

Doing that work is allowing us to

humble, be humble, and to allow

589

:

other people to help us, and that's

part of sanctification as well.

590

:

Emily: Yes.

591

:

Steph: I have another dear

friend who, she has five kids.

592

:

Her oldest is in a wheelchair.

593

:

She's 13 years old, and she has

Rett syndrome, which means that

594

:

she's completely mentally capable.

595

:

She's very bright, but she

does not have control over

596

:

her body, and she's nonverbal.

597

:

She Communicates with an eye gaze machine.

598

:

My friend is the most incredible,

faithful mother to her.

599

:

And she stewards that gift of

her mind so well, she makes the

600

:

extra effort and it amazes me.

601

:

But she has become so wise in

setting boundaries for herself.

602

:

She knows that this is the job the

Lord has given her she embraces

603

:

the sanctity of life more than

anyone I know because she is there.

604

:

She's loving her daughter for who the Lord

made her to be and serving her every day.

605

:

And there's not right?

606

:

It's day in, it's day out,

but she knows I'm not going

607

:

to be volunteering at church.

608

:

No, this is where I am home she just

is wise about what she commits herself

609

:

to and what she commits her family to.

610

:

And I've watched her work all of that out.

611

:

She's Really a capable, amazing

mom, but she just is so smart about

612

:

saying, Nope, I'm not going to do

those things because my place is here

613

:

blessing my family and serving them.

614

:

And she has such a peace in it.

615

:

It's not something she's disappointed

by or re wrestling with all the time.

616

:

She's embraced the boundaries

that the Lord has given her.

617

:

And I really respect that about her.

618

:

Jen: It reminds me of that

verse in First Samuel.

619

:

I think it says, I will not offer to God

that which costs me nothing, that she's

620

:

offering that as a sacrifice up to the

Lord, and it hasn't cost her nothing.

621

:

That's a huge thing.

622

:

But how beautiful that you said

she is, has peace about it.

623

:

She has joy in that.

624

:

That sacrifice isn't a burden to her.

625

:

It, the Lord has filled her with

his strength to be able to do that.

626

:

That's a beautiful thing

that only God can do.

627

:

Steph: And we're probably talking

to a lot of moms who have children

628

:

with special needs, right?

629

:

All sorts of different consistent needs.

630

:

And we don't have the vacation

for the, from those things.

631

:

And that's why finding some way to seek

the Lord, just to be honest before him.

632

:

Jen, in our last episode, when

you said asking the Lord to

633

:

quicken, your spirit to him and.

634

:

And I thought that was such a beautiful

prayer of a mother, he knows how much

635

:

time you have and I think it's the

perfect word in this situation as well.

636

:

Lord, would you reveal to me, why

I'm struggling, would you reveal

637

:

to me what I really need right now?

638

:

Would you fill me with your spirit?

639

:

Would you give me your joy?

640

:

Give me your peace.

641

:

Give me your wisdom.

642

:

Emily: Yes.

643

:

Not what I think I need, but

what you know, I need just

644

:

throwing it all at his feet.

645

:

Steph: And then I think embracing.

646

:

The fact that children are a gift.

647

:

Jen: Yeah.

648

:

Absolutely.

649

:

Emily: They're not

650

:

Steph: of, one of the key reasons

that our culture is struggling

651

:

with this, I believe, is because

we're losing the value of a child.

652

:

And now we need to redeem

our time, I just spent all

653

:

this time pouring into them.

654

:

Now I need something back from it.

655

:

But if we really believe that they're such

a gift, we can delight in the service.

656

:

Emily: Yes.

657

:

Yes.

658

:

And I would just love to just tag onto

that and say although we hear it so

659

:

often, the time does move so quickly.

660

:

I have one that's now a junior and we're

talking about future plans and there

661

:

are times that I think, hold on, are we

telling him everything he needs know?

662

:

What have we forgotten?

663

:

The truth is the Lord fills in

the gaps but my point is that our

664

:

time goes so fast and we can numb

and blur and do all the things.

665

:

When we're feeling overwhelmed, but

when we look back on the last 20

666

:

years with our children, we don't

want to regret that we numbed or

667

:

blurred or hurried our days along.

668

:

There will be hard days and there

will be heavy days, but As a whole, we

669

:

don't want to look back and remember

the time that we got away from them.

670

:

We want to remember the time

that we invested into them.

671

:

So we don't want to hurry it all along

too much because the days will go so fast.

672

:

Jen: That's a good word.

673

:

Emily: And we want to redeem that time

as best as we can to the glory of God

674

:

and for Him.

675

:

We know you're busy, Mama, so

we are truly grateful you joined

676

:

us for this episode of Again.

677

:

If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

678

:

foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

679

:

EntrustedMinistries.

680

:

com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

681

:

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

682

:

world, and we want it for you, too.

683

:

Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

684

:

from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

685

:

We're rooting for you.

686

:

To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

687

:

calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good, and every work of faith by

688

:

His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

689

:

Him, according to the grace of our God.

690

:

And the Lord Jesus Christ.

691

:

Amen.

692

:

Until we meet again.

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About the Podcast

Again
Biblical Motherhood Untangled
So much of what we do as mothers is on repeat. Join us to redeem this repetition and untangle from the confusion and overwhelm of parenting. We'll follow the Agains in the Bible to focus on the things that matter most. Let's look up together to embrace a motherhood full of freedom and joy! This podcast is sponsored by Entrusted Ministries.

About your host

Profile picture for Stephanie Hickox

Stephanie Hickox

Stephanie has always delighted in God’s Word and in sharing it with others. Whether it is equipping mothers and leaders through Entrusted with a Child’s Heart, inspiring students when teaching at homeschool co-ops or children’s ministry, or homeschooling her own children, Stephanie’s life mission is to encourage others to follow faithfully and joyfully after Jesus—especially if they hold her favorite job title: mom.

Betsy Corning wrote Entrusted with a Child’s Heart in 1999 in response to the needs she saw in families as she and David counseled young parents just a few years behind them. Entrusted has been taught in hundreds of churches nationwide, been translated into several foreign languages, and has made its way around the world. More recently, Betsy received her Masters in Biblical Studies from The Master’s University and is developing a new Bible Study program called Get the Word Out. Her passion for God’s Word, discipleship, and teaching biblical principles as they apply to family life has remained strong to this day. One of the greatest blessings in Betsy’s life are her three grown children, their spouses, and ten grandchildren that keep her constantly in touch with every age and stage.

Jen Freckman Is an incredible wealth of wisdom. She will tell you a natural remedy for just about anything! She is also a voracious reader and she is just overflowing with quotes and guidance that she's encountered through reading and being faithful. She delights in her children and is a devoted mother. She is also an amazingly creative problem solver! Her solutions to manage her home and guide her children are inspiring.

Emily Deyo is such a treasure. She is an incredible encourager and servant-hearted woman. When she has the mic in front of her, so much value comes out! She is a wordsmith and her heart consistently beats for how she can encourage and serve others. She is a truly loving and attentive mother.

Join Betsy, Emily, Jen, and Stephanie as they share the wisdom only Scripture and on-the-job training can provide to help untangle the joyful calling of motherhood.