Do My Agains Matter? (Part 2) Feed, fluff, and fold for the Kingdom

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They're the joyful agains our children shout on the swings, the exhausting

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agains of cooking and laundry, and the difficult agains of discipline.

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So much of what we do as mothers is on repeat.

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So what if we woke up with clarity, knowing which agains we were called

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to, and went to bed believing we are faithful in what matters most?

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We believe God's Word is the key to untangle from the

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confusion and overwhelm we feel.

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Let's look up together to embrace a motherhood full of freedom and joy.

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Thank you for joining us for another episode of again, I'm

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your host, Stephanie Hickox.

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And this is brought to you by Entrusted Ministries.

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Today I'm joined by the amazing Emily deal.

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She's a devoted mother of two and a loving wife.

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She's been a faithful mentor moms for years and has such a desire to

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point mothers towards the Lord and to encourage them to utilize this precious

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time to point their children to Christ.

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We're so grateful.

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She's here.

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Today's episode is due my against matter part two.

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We know it can be tempting to think that the things that really matter

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to the Lord are the spiritual things we're doing, like reading scripture

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with our kids and praying with them.

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But we see repeated over and over in God's word that he cares when we meet

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the physical needs of others and that he cares about meeting our physical needs.

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So we want you to know that all of those things that you're doing

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to feed and call their children.

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It counts.

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God is glorified.

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When you continue to press on.

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Even when you're tired.

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Even my day today, I felt like it was a lot of sacrifice, a lot of service.

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Without seeing a lot of fruit.

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And so we understand.

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But we also see that God is not only concerned with what we do.

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He's concerned with who we are.

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We're going to encourage you to walk in holiness in your home.

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Because this message.

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That is so.

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Rooted in scripture is very absent from our culture.

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And so we will continue to point you towards pursuing the likeness of Christ.

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Because when we serve with the right attitude, that's when we

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are pointing to the Lord the most.

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So be blessed.

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His word is full of the truth, that all of those things that you're

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doing each day matter to him.

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If we go back to that key scripture of Deuteronomy 6, 6 and

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7, and it tells us to speak to our children about God's faithfulness

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when we sit, when we walk by the way, when we lie down, when we rise up.

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When I think of that, what are we doing when we sit?

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It's mealtime, right?

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What are we doing when we walk by the way?

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That's our car time now.

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The lying down is a bedtime routine.

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The rising up is how we begin our day, our morning routines.

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Rather than isolating these moments of, this is the time where I talk

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about the Lord, this is our devotional time, or now we're going to church,

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god is encouraging us to speak of his faithfulness in all aspects of life.

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We don't isolate these discussions.

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We take every opportunity to speak about the Lord, his goodness, his

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faithfulness, his provision to us, his sovereignty, doing that,

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incorporating it in all of life builds deeper roots in our children's faith.

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Yes.

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I, I think often we rush to fill the mundane moments of our lives.

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I heard it said this week, which was a fantastic reminder

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to me of one of our lessons.

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But I heard it said this week that by the age 13 in our children's lives,

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they will have fully developed their worldview, whether it be biblical or

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otherwise by the age 13, their worldview is pretty much set how it's going to be.

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So not to add any pressure on moms, but, but we have 13 years

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to pour into our children.

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And rather than working to fill the mundane moments with activities or,

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or just constantly running, how are we Incorporating, bringing Christ into our

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everyday moments rather than, Stephanie, you were saying keeping everything

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pretty and isolated, like, okay, we go to church, now it's time to worship.

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We go to Awana, now it's time to memorize your scripture.

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Rather than doing that, taking the opportunity to just disciple

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our kids in the every day.

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And I think we're talking in that regard, we're also talking about

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moms working towards holiness.

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I read a quote this week by Elizabeth Elliot that says holiness has never

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been the driving force of the majority.

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And I had to sit with that one for a little while.

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Because working towards holiness and filling the mundane moments of our

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life with Christ is going to take work and it's not going to be what the

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majority is doing or telling you to do.

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It's going to take work to get there.

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Absolutely.

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It's so counter cultural to be like Christ.

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And even in our own flesh, we fight it, right?

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Yes.

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Every day.

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We quote, Romans 8 28 all the time.

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And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good.

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For those who are called according to his purpose.

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But we tend to leave off first 29 don't we, when it says that.

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For those whom he foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed

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to the image of his son.

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And so we are supposed to be pursuing opportunities to become more like

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christ and motherhood provides a lot of opportunities for that doesn't it

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it does.

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Holiness in definition means to be set apart.

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And I think, of course, Christ constructs everything so beautifully, and we've said

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so many times with great purpose, and motherhood is no different than that.

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He has set motherhood apart by nature of what it is, because we're

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constantly giving to our families, we're giving to our children, and we

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are set apart to do this for them.

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We're not set apart to be everything for them.

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Our, our purpose is to turn them to Christ always.

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But we get the opportunity to pour into them so that their eyes.

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Will be fixed on him and will be turned to him instead of us in time.

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Right.

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I think when we're talking about this, I think of first Peter one, 13 through

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21, really that portion calls us to.

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a place of holiness.

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And verse 14 clearly talks about this and it's really a call out to

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us moms when it tells us not to be conformed to the former passions of

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ignorance, but to be holy in conduct.

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What a sanctifying thing for us moms to surrender our own

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will and to be holy in conduct.

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Because when we're working in our own will, it's definitely not holy.

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Peter is writing this and we know that he was often

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pulled by his passions, right?

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Which is part of what made him so powerful for the Lord, but also that's something

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that had to be sanctified in him.

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I just love that this more mature Peter is speaking this saying, don't

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be controlled by those passions.

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Be set apart for the Lord, pursue holiness.

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That makes it so powerful for me to think about the author of it.

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Yes.

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Absolutely.

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I can remember.

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Years ago praying to the Lord and saying, Lord, will you just give me

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a job description for motherhood?

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If, if I just knew what you were asking me to do, then I think it would be so much

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easier to know that the sacrifice counts.

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But I feel that there are just constant demands upon us.

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And it's very unclear, even.

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If you go from person to person, I think the way that they would

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define mother would be so different.

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Each child has particular needs.

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Each child has particular personalities and we're trying to, be faithful

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in all these different ways.

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And I just found that I needed some direction.

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And he pointed me to a couple of scriptures that really encouraged

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me and were freeing to me.

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And I do feel like in the years since, he's shown me that

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it's more about a to be list.

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Then a to do list that it's, it's not checking boxes.

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It's about who am I as I represent Christ to my kids and who am I pointing

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them towards not what did I accomplish each day, but it's obviously very

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true of motherhood that you need to accomplish a lot of things every day

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to keep people alive, to keep them fed.

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And so Matthew 25 was really encouraging to me and verses 34 through 40.

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It says.

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Then the king will say to those on his right, Come, you

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who are blessed by my father.

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Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.

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For I was hungry, and you gave me food.

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I was thirsty, and you gave me drink.

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I was a stranger, and you welcomed me.

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I was naked, and you clothed me.

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I was sick, and you visited me.

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I was in prison, and you came to me.

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Then the righteous will answer him, saying, Lord, when did we

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see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?

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And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?

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And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?

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And the king will answer them, truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least

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of these, my brothers, you did it to me.

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So I want to be really careful to not take it out of context because I think

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I would never want to say that this passage is only applying to motherhood,

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but I, I do think we can see here that.

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When we provide for physical needs of others that the Lord is truly honored and

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he's saying you're doing it on to me So, you know clearly do we have opportunities

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every day to feed and if we think wow The Lord is honored by this if we do

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it in the right attitude We're doing it on to the Lord when our children

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are thirsty and we fill up those sippy cups yet again and again God's honored

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by that When our children are naked and we clothe them, the Lord is honored

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when they're sick and we care for them.

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He sees that and I, I do hope that the prison one doesn't

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ever apply to our motherhood.

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But that passage was so encouraging for me as a mom to not think

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, lord did i accomplish anything

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Yes.

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I fed my children three meals and multiple snacks.

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I nursed them today and I filled up their water bottles and I did

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the laundry , all of these things, the Lord is glorified by that.

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And when we realize it, I think it takes away a lot of

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the burden of that repetition.

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Yes.

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I think that is so beautiful when you think of it in terms of

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motherhood because it is speaking all to the physical needs at first.

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And if, even if we look at Christ's ministry, when he came here to

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earth in the very beginning, he was meeting people's physical

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needs every day, all day.

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And that was the first half of his ministry.

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And I think he displayed it so beautifully, and now we

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translate that into motherhood.

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And for the first half of our children's life, we're caring

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for their every physical need.

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We are there at their every waking hour for everything.

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And I think often we get weary.

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In that service because it is constant giving and I'm not condoning any

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mama because I've been there myself.

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We just get weary and well doing because we are constantly giving.

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But, but the Lord will turn it around for good if we are faithful to it.

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I think motherhood is the first half of physical needs.

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And then the second half you begin to see all that you've put in.

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You start seeing fruit from it, but it's not immediate gratification just like You

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know, when Christ came to earth and he was healing all these people, it wasn't

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immediate transformation in their lives.

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They didn't just turn to him automatically and start following him on every instance.

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And so the same with our children.

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We're pouring in, we're pouring in, and we're praying and

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we're giving it to the Lord.

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And and we're trusting, we're trusting him that he will sanctify it.

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Yes.

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Redeeming all of those times.

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I have several friends that really love Sally Clarkson I first heard this number

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from her, but you will feed a child about 19, 000 times, 19, 000 meals doesn't

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that put it in perspective, like, no wonder I'm exhausted from meal planning.

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Like, really?

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You need to eat again?

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So another passage of scripture that the Lord pointed me to was Proverbs 31,

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and I know sometimes it can be overused as kind of this like Mary Poppins

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practically perfect in every way standard, and it feels unattainable, but when

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I reread it with kind of these eyes.

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Of how she's caring for her family's physical needs.

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It was really interesting to see how many times she's

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feeding and clothing her family.

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So I'm going to read it now.

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Starting in verse 10, an excellent wife who can find she is far more

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precious than jewels The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have

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no lack of gain She does him good and not harm all the days of her life.

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She seeks a wool and flax and works with willing hands Okay, so there we see that

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would be the process of clothing, right?

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She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from afar.

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So there we see the feeding.

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She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household.

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Again, feeding.

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And portions for her maidens.

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She considers a field and buys it.

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With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard.

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Again, feeding.

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She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

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She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.

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Her lamp does not go out at night.

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She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.

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Another reference to clothing or family, she opens her hand to the poor and

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reaches out her hands to the needy.

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And I think that's a great connection to Matthew 25.

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So even as you're caring for your family, you're looking for needs to serve others.

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And what an impact that has on our children when we meet

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others needs in that season.

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And so it continues.

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She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all of her

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household are clothed in scarlet.

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She makes bed coverings for herself.

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Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

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Her husband is known at the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.

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She makes linen garments and sells them.

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She delivers sashes to the merchant.

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Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come.

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She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

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She looks well to the ways of her household and does not

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eat the bread of idleness.

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Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her.

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Many women have done excellently, but you surpassed them all.

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Charm is deceitful and beauty in vain, but a woman who fears

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the Lord is to be praised.

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Give her the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates.

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So I love that it's talking about her faithfulness.

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She's just being faithful in every avenue in her life, but it does speak to you.

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You know, she opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching

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of kindness is on her tongue.

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and she fears the Lord.

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So as she's doing all of these, you know, mundane, repetitive things

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and working hard, she is being kind.

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She's pointing them towards the Lord.

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She is opening her mouth with wisdom.

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So, as her children are needing counsel and guidance, she's guiding

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them as she's doing all these things.

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And it's such a beautiful picture.

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Of what we're called to, especially, when it says charm is deceitful and

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beauty is vain, when we are surrounded by pictures of pretty people all day long.

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And it's really hard to be reminded that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

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That's what glorifies him.

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These unseen moments in our home.

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Where we are being faithful to our family and not escaping, through

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social media or things like that.

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That's what matters.

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It doesn't matter how many followers you have.

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It matters how many followers and disciples you are creating

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in your home for the Lord.

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So I find I need to go back to God's word and find my definition,

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my job description for motherhood.

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I can't be looking to.

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The world, even, even though there might be really Godly people that I'm following,

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I need to have my own personal time with the Lord to redeem these moments that

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feel so repetitive and often exhausting.

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Like I don't have it in me, Lord.

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I don't want to make another meal.

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I just want to sit down for one dinner and the faithfulness that's

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developed in my heart and My character, I've been so sanctified

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by doing things day in and day out.

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And when I do them for the Lord, the burden is so much lighter.

Emily: 00:18:13

That is so beautiful, Stephanie.

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That whole chapter of Proverbs 31 is just such a beautiful document.

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representation to have a mom giving her son counsel for

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the wife that he is to seek.

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So not only do you have this beautiful instruction of what a, of what a

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mother is, but then it's a mother.

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Instructing her son to what to look for in a future spouse.

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So it's just surrounded in motherhood from the content to

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the sharing it with her son.

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It's just a full picture of, of motherhood all around.

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Great point.

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The purpose of it as well as the content.

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Yes.

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It's so much about discipling our children, right?

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Training them up in that.

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I think about even Ecclesiastes, which a lot of people don't see it as the

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most encouraging book of the Bible, but in chapter three, And it says

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this several times in the book, but it says, I perceived that there is

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nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live.

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Also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil.

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This is God's gift to man, so it's eat, drink, and take

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pleasure in the work, right?

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So this is exactly what the Lord intended for us to be doing with our

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children, feed them, but do it joyfully.

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Right.

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And we're not saying that that's easy or that you're not allowed to

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have the full range of emotions.

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We know it's biblical to.

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To mourn, to grieve and actually right before that verse, it says,

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there is a time for all things, but then Ecclesiastes ends with

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fear God and keep his commandments for this is the whole duty of man.

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For God will bring every deed into judgment with every secret

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thing, whether good or evil.

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So all those hidden things as a mother that you're doing, fear

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God and keep his commandments.

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Be faithful in it.

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Be faithful to feed your children.

Steph: 00:20:16

Be faithful to talk about God when you're eating.

Steph: 00:20:19

Be faithful to redeem the car routine, you know?

Steph: 00:20:23

You don't have to just let kids get on their devices or their

Steph: 00:20:26

screens when you hop in the car.

Steph: 00:20:28

You have an opportunity to pray with them, to listen to them, to...

Steph: 00:20:32

Turn to worship music to tell them what's on your heart.

Steph: 00:20:35

What is God teaching you right now?

Steph: 00:20:37

We have so many opportunities to redeem this time.

Steph: 00:20:41

And if we believe that God will bless us for our faithfulness, the every secret

Steph: 00:20:46

thing, whether good or evil, we are to fear God and keep his commandments.

Steph: 00:20:51

That's the whole duty of man, it says,

Emily: 00:20:54

Yes, I love this idea that each time is redeemable.

Emily: 00:20:59

I have found, especially when my children are a little older now, the

Emily: 00:21:04

best time to probably have the most difficult conversations, whatever,

Emily: 00:21:08

they may be going through, is often while we're driving in the car.

Emily: 00:21:12

Because they're busy, I'm busy, it's, I guess a little less confrontational,

Emily: 00:21:17

and it's just more comfortable.

Emily: 00:21:19

And so, every time is redeemable.

Emily: 00:21:21

And sometimes, those times are the easiest to unplug, and just zone out.

Emily: 00:21:27

But, Moms, we just have this sweet window of time that God has given

Emily: 00:21:32

us to minister to our children.

Emily: 00:21:34

And lately the Lord has just been reminding me that life comes in seasons

Emily: 00:21:39

and we all know this, but but really it's what we're filling our time with

Emily: 00:21:44

in, in this time of motherhood, it can be redeemed for good and so we

Emily: 00:21:49

are just resting in that promise.

Emily: 00:21:51

We don't want to look back with regrets.

Emily: 00:21:53

I'm not saying that none of us will ever look back with no regrets, but

Emily: 00:21:57

in the department of pointing them to Christ, we don't want to look back

Emily: 00:22:01

with regrets because we filled our time and days with work or girls nights

Emily: 00:22:07

or or gaining followers on social media, or even just the dead scroll.

Emily: 00:22:13

We want to make sure our time is redeemed for good.

Emily: 00:22:16

And we're all going to fail at this every now and then, because of who

Emily: 00:22:20

we are and we can't do it on our own and that's the beauty of it.

Emily: 00:22:23

We have to rely on him to redeem that time.

Steph: 00:22:27

right, right.

Steph: 00:22:28

It takes such a reliance upon him to be faithful.

Emily: 00:22:31

Mm hmm.

Steph: 00:22:32

And when we're trying to be faithful and trying to honor him,

Steph: 00:22:34

but we fail, sometimes it's an opportunity to point to the Lord

Steph: 00:22:39

that only He, is perfect every day.

Steph: 00:22:43

Only He is faithful every moment.

Steph: 00:22:46

And, and so even though we're trying.

Steph: 00:22:48

In our weakness, we still give the Lord glory, right?

Steph: 00:22:52

I have a dear friend that says, even on my best days, I want my kids to know

Steph: 00:22:57

Jesus is so much better than me, and so we aren't trying to be perfect mothers.

Steph: 00:23:02

We're trying to be mothers who point our children to a perfect savior.

Steph: 00:23:07

And so when we help them experience the security of knowing, yep.

Steph: 00:23:13

Yeah.

Steph: 00:23:13

Mom knew that you were hungry and I already thought of it.

Steph: 00:23:17

I'm already making dinner mom knew that you'd be thirsty on this walk.

Steph: 00:23:21

I brought the water bottle mom knew that you were excited about

Steph: 00:23:25

that little outfit for the first day or, or mom, went to the garage

Steph: 00:23:29

sale and found this for you to wear.

Steph: 00:23:32

However we do it, helping our children feel seen and known sets such a framework

Steph: 00:23:38

for helping them believe in a God who sees them and knows them and provides

Steph: 00:23:43

not just for needs, but for wants.

Steph: 00:23:45

And so I think that's what we're doing.

Steph: 00:23:48

We're developing.

Steph: 00:23:49

The security of, I see you, I know you, I thought of that, and this is

Steph: 00:23:55

what I did for you, And obviously we want to be careful to not make our

Steph: 00:23:58

children think that it's all about them.

Steph: 00:24:00

I still think it's great to take a walk without the water bottle.

Steph: 00:24:04

And to provide opportunities where our children don't have

Steph: 00:24:06

everything that they want.

Steph: 00:24:08

For sure.

Steph: 00:24:09

But just providing for those needs, I think that's why God calls us

Steph: 00:24:13

to be faithful in a family first.

Steph: 00:24:14

Because if every family was faithful in their home, then so

Steph: 00:24:19

many of the societal needs go away.

Steph: 00:24:22

Because of those needs and that security, that sense of, belonging and, and being

Steph: 00:24:27

known and loved, of these physical needs set a groundwork for laying

Steph: 00:24:32

emotional security in our children.

Emily: 00:24:35

I think you're speaking to a mother's touch also in

Emily: 00:24:38

all of this that you're saying.

Emily: 00:24:40

And our kids feel it all around, even when we don't realize that they feel it.

Emily: 00:24:45

I was turning all the lamps on the other night at, at dusk.

Emily: 00:24:50

And one of my kids came and said, Mom, I love when you turn all the lamps on.

Emily: 00:24:54

It's just in all of those little things that we don't even think about.

Emily: 00:24:58

It's just part of our routine.

Emily: 00:25:00

It's part of what we do.

Emily: 00:25:02

But to our kids, it's stability and it's meaningful and it's home and, and that

Emily: 00:25:08

is, that is okay to give that to them.

Steph: 00:25:11

Yes.

Steph: 00:25:12

Entrust and encourage me so much that all those little things, I do matter.

Steph: 00:25:17

And...

Steph: 00:25:17

Who the Lord made me to be those, those little touches

Steph: 00:25:21

mean something to my children.

Emily: 00:25:22

Yes.

Steph: 00:25:23

And when Betsy says, no other mom is going to do, personally, I've

Steph: 00:25:27

struggled with comparison a lot and pointing and looking at other women and

Steph: 00:25:32

being like, wow, I've never done that for my children, or that's not how I do it.

Steph: 00:25:36

Feeling like I'm failing in some way or missing the mark, but there are so many

Steph: 00:25:41

things, the way that God made each of us.

Steph: 00:25:43

That it means a lot to our children and , it's so natural to us to do some

Steph: 00:25:47

things and it becomes Just something that they rely upon and treasure about us.

Steph: 00:25:54

So it is so sweet how the Lord uses those things about us to bless our children and

Steph: 00:26:00

to provide them with joy and security.

Steph: 00:26:03

All right.

Steph: 00:26:04

We know you're probably about to do many seemingly unseen things today.

Steph: 00:26:10

But we hope you can move forward.

Steph: 00:26:11

Knowing that they are never really unseen.