Does God Have a Plan for Our Rest? More Thoughts on Self-Care for Christian Moms

Speaker: 00:00:01

They're the joyful agains our children

shout on the swings, the exhausting

2

: 00:00:05

agains of cooking and laundry, and

the difficult agains of discipline.

3

: 00:00:10

So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

4

: 00:00:13

So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

5

: 00:00:16

to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

6

: 00:00:21

We believe God's Word is

the key to untangle from the

7

: 00:00:24

confusion and overwhelm we feel.

8

: 00:00:27

Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

9

: 00:00:33

We're so grateful you joined us today.

10

: 00:00:35

I'm your host, Stephanie Hickox.

11

: 00:00:37

And this is another episode of

the, again, podcast brought to

12

: 00:00:40

you by interested ministries.

13

: 00:00:42

We know you have a busy life and

we're thankful for every moment

14

: 00:00:45

you choose to spend with us.

15

: 00:00:47

When we started the podcast,

Emily and I were processing

16

: 00:00:50

one day and I said that I felt.

17

: 00:00:52

Sometimes it was hard to feel

like I got everything I wanted

18

: 00:00:55

to say across in an episode.

19

: 00:00:57

And she had a very good word for me.

20

: 00:00:59

She said she views a podcast episode.

21

: 00:01:02

As a holy spirit led conversation.

22

: 00:01:04

And that's why we're releasing

this episode to you as well on self

23

: 00:01:08

care, even though we released one.

24

: 00:01:10

Just two weeks ago.

25

: 00:01:11

This is a different conversation, but the

holy spirit truly led it in a wise way.

26

: 00:01:17

And I think we can each pressin for some

really fruitful, practical application.

27

: 00:01:22

There are so many scriptures.

28

: 00:01:24

God laid on our heart to talk about.

29

: 00:01:25

That deal of self care.

30

: 00:01:27

May you be truly blessed by the wisdom

in his word, as you listened to this

31

: 00:01:31

conversation with Emily Deyo and I.

32

: 00:01:34

And don't forget about our brand new

freebies from the interested with

33

: 00:01:38

a child's heart study, you're going

to get lesson 10, the full hour long

34

: 00:01:43

video lesson from Betsy Corning.

35

: 00:01:45

The listening guide that would

show you exactly what you'd get.

36

: 00:01:49

If you ordered the interested

with the child's heart notebook.

37

: 00:01:52

You'll also get a quiz to fill

out as you listened to the lesson.

38

: 00:01:56

And the full circle printable that we

refer to often on the podcast and we'll

39

: 00:02:01

be discussing more in detail soon.

40

: 00:02:03

So head to our website fill out the

form on our homepage, because we

41

: 00:02:07

really want you to get a taste of why

we think that this is The best kept.

42

: 00:02:11

Parenting secret.

43

: 00:02:14

Emily, as you've raised your children

and undoubtedly dealt with the exhaustion

44

: 00:02:17

that comes with that, and then as

you've seen the topic of self care

45

: 00:02:21

come up continually in culture, what

is your perspective on how a Christian

46

: 00:02:26

mother should handle self care?

47

: 00:02:29

Emily: In thinking on this topic and

preparing for it a little I thought,

48

: 00:02:33

first of all, how tired moms are and how

important it is for moms to get a break.

49

: 00:02:42

So in no way would I ever advocate

that you not take time away.

50

: 00:02:49

And the Lord will lead

you to what that time is.

51

: 00:02:51

Maybe you need to get away and

read a book or have a night out

52

: 00:02:55

with some good Edifying friends.

53

: 00:02:58

So there's many ways that you

can take time out for yourself.

54

: 00:03:01

I think what we're talking about today

in self care would be more along would be

55

: 00:03:08

more along the lines of how it's viewed.

56

: 00:03:10

Even when I was talking with my

daughter about it, she said, Mom,

57

: 00:03:13

we should take care of ourselves.

58

: 00:03:15

Why are you talking about self care?

59

: 00:03:17

Then that led me to serious

thought and to the word.

60

: 00:03:21

The verse that I was led to was in

Philippians 2:3 where the Lord tells

61

: 00:03:26

us, do nothing from selfishness or

empty conceit, but with humility

62

: 00:03:31

of mind, regard one another as

more important than yourself.

63

: 00:03:37

I think it's so interesting that

the Bible is the one place that

64

: 00:03:42

tells us to do opposite to gain.

65

: 00:03:46

The Bible tells us that we have

to die to self daily to gain.

66

: 00:03:50

This idea of feeding into ourself,

is so cultural but unbiblical

67

: 00:03:56

because we're turning to the

wrong things to fill that void and

68

: 00:04:01

escape or whatever the case may be.

69

: 00:04:03

As I'm reading over this, I'm thinking

it's so interesting because we have

70

: 00:04:08

these two selves within us that We

know on this side of heaven, we'll

71

: 00:04:12

always be fighting with one another.

72

: 00:04:14

If we're believers, we have

the Holy Spirit filled side.

73

: 00:04:17

That is the side that wants to

yield and wants to grow and wants

74

: 00:04:21

to learn in the word and then.

75

: 00:04:23

We have our fleshly side that is

always fighting us and , they're

76

: 00:04:27

both at war with one another.

77

: 00:04:29

The flesh says, give me more of

whatever time away from your family or

78

: 00:04:34

whatever the self care thing is for you.

79

: 00:04:37

But the Bible tells us that

in order to gain, we die.

80

: 00:04:42

And the way that we can really invest is

to invest in one another, to forgive to

81

: 00:04:48

keep short account of others wrongdoings,

to love each other unconditionally.

82

: 00:04:54

Those are forms.

83

: 00:04:56

of self care that will be everlasting.

84

: 00:05:00

again, never ever would I

be against taking time away.

85

: 00:05:03

Even we see in Jesus earthly

ministry, when he was weary, he

86

: 00:05:06

took time away to pray and to rest.

87

: 00:05:09

Of course, it's biblical that

you would do that and that you

88

: 00:05:12

would care well for yourself.

89

: 00:05:14

But we aren't to give in to our

fleshly desires all the time.

90

: 00:05:18

we're to feed our Holy Spirit desires.

91

: 00:05:21

So as I'm thinking about self care

I would say the Bible leads us to

92

: 00:05:28

this thought that we die to gain.

93

: 00:05:30

And sometimes we need to stop

investing in ourselves and invest

94

: 00:05:35

more in the word and in wisdom.

95

: 00:05:39

He grows us those are

the ways that matter.

96

: 00:05:43

Steph: Absolutely.

97

: 00:05:44

I don't know if I've ever heard anyone

talk about self care and talk about

98

: 00:05:48

forgiveness, but you're so right.

99

: 00:05:50

There's a depth of freedom that comes

from following God's word that actually

100

: 00:05:59

is more liberating than 10 bubble

baths, that shows our faith, right?

101

: 00:06:03

When we're actually following the

principles in God's word, that will

102

: 00:06:06

bear more fruit, more long term fruit.

103

: 00:06:09

Yes, godliness with contentment is great

gain, so we're pursuing Christlikeness.

104

: 00:06:14

We have faith that's a long term blessing.

105

: 00:06:17

Emily: Yes.

106

: 00:06:18

Steph: in Jeremiah 6:16, it says, Thus

says the Lord, Stand by the roads and

107

: 00:06:24

look, and ask for the ancient paths,

where the good way is, and walk in

108

: 00:06:29

it, and find rest for your souls.

109

: 00:06:31

I love that.

110

: 00:06:33

There's a good way.

111

: 00:06:34

We don't need to invent

the wheel all the time.

112

: 00:06:37

Motherhood has always been exhausting,

I'm sure of it, and and it's

113

: 00:06:42

always been a sacrificial thing.

114

: 00:06:44

I don't think, even though

we may have new stresses upon

115

: 00:06:48

us, we also have new comforts.

116

: 00:06:50

I don't think we need to be looking

for this new formula and constantly

117

: 00:06:54

searching for who's got the trick.

118

: 00:06:56

Not really a trick, it's a mindset.

119

: 00:07:00

Am I choosing to continually

put others before myself?

120

: 00:07:03

As you said in Philippians 2,

knowing that the Lord sees my

121

: 00:07:07

sacrifice and is honored by it.

122

: 00:07:09

Do I choose to embrace that call And

then there is a wisdom in knowing

123

: 00:07:14

I'm modeling for my kids caring for

myself and my own body because I am

124

: 00:07:19

supposed to love the Lord in that way,

but it's not this entitlement focused.

125

: 00:07:25

I've earned this.

126

: 00:07:27

It's my turn.

127

: 00:07:29

I think you're right that produces more

hunger for it instead of satisfying us.

128

: 00:07:34

Yes.

129

: 00:07:36

Emily: yes I think it's so

easy to look for temporal

130

: 00:07:39

things to fill an eternal hole.

131

: 00:07:42

And we know those won't last.

132

: 00:07:45

I was reminded of this scripture

also in Luke 9:23, and he says,

133

: 00:07:52

if anyone wishes to come after me.

134

: 00:07:55

He must deny himself and take up

his cross daily and follow me.

135

: 00:08:00

Again, it goes back to denying,

forgiving, loving, caring.

136

: 00:08:05

Those are the things we pour deep into

ourselves that will spring, that will take

137

: 00:08:12

root and spring this incredible growth.

138

: 00:08:16

A mom's night out is fantastic.

139

: 00:08:18

It's good.

140

: 00:08:18

It's good for you to have a break

and laugh and feel wholeness with

141

: 00:08:22

other moms, but it's temporal.

142

: 00:08:23

You get home that night, you take your

shoes off you get ready for bed, and you

143

: 00:08:28

go to bed, and you start the next day.

144

: 00:08:30

The fruit from that night won't be

everlasting, as if we were pouring

145

: 00:08:35

the eternal things into ourselves.

146

: 00:08:39

Steph: I think it's interesting,

too, that so many women have

147

: 00:08:43

different things that recharge them.

148

: 00:08:46

Personally, a bath makes

me feel so drained.

149

: 00:08:49

That doesn't feel relaxing to

me at all, but I know women that

150

: 00:08:53

take a bath every night, and

that feels so refreshing to them.

151

: 00:08:56

And so I think even recognizing

what's helpful for us.

152

: 00:09:01

And maybe having, like for me, sometimes

an hour to organize a closet or to, bring

153

: 00:09:07

a little structure back to an area I

know it's temporal, but that's satisfying

154

: 00:09:11

to me that I know when I look in that

closet, I'm going to feel like things

155

: 00:09:15

are a little bit more put together.

156

: 00:09:17

But I'm not doing that for anyone else.

157

: 00:09:18

I'm doing it for myself and

that can be life giving.

158

: 00:09:21

So

159

: 00:09:21

Recognizing what's life giving

to us and not trying to follow

160

: 00:09:24

anyone else's formula for it.

161

: 00:09:26

Obviously I say that understanding

that we're following the biblical

162

: 00:09:30

model of sacrificial living, but

then within that, we have our own

163

: 00:09:35

personal preferences and to not try

to do it like someone else does it.

164

: 00:09:40

Emily: Yes, absolutely.

165

: 00:09:41

He calls us to different areas and

paths and and it's okay that it

166

: 00:09:46

all looks a little bit different.

167

: 00:09:48

I love that you said to know

what recharges us it's okay to

168

: 00:09:52

invest a little bit of time there.

169

: 00:09:54

And the Lord knows that.

170

: 00:09:55

He made us that way, so He knows

exactly what that is for us, and

171

: 00:10:00

we shouldn't feel guilty for

pouring into those moments either.

172

: 00:10:04

what are your thoughts when

you think on self care?

173

: 00:10:08

Steph: I just want to say that.

174

: 00:10:10

I am the kind of person that

doesn't ask for a lot of help.

175

: 00:10:14

I don't really delegate much.

176

: 00:10:17

and my husband isn't one

who's going to take a lot of

177

: 00:10:20

initiative without being asked.

178

: 00:10:22

Which I feel is a pretty

common experience for moms,

179

: 00:10:26

we see it all and we're

like, isn't it obvious?

180

: 00:10:28

But it's not always.

181

: 00:10:30

If we're not good communicators,

that can be difficult for them.

182

: 00:10:34

And I had three boys in under three years

and then we didn't have any family nearby.

183

: 00:10:40

I think I took that sacrificial lifestyle

to an unhealthy extent at times.

184

: 00:10:46

Fast forward a little bit and my

husband, right after my fourth child

185

: 00:10:50

was born, he was diagnosed with MS.

186

: 00:10:52

And it helped clarify why he was

experiencing so much exhaustion.

187

: 00:10:58

I was finally realizing I can't do

it all and, also at the same time

188

: 00:11:02

realizing, but he can't help me really.

189

: 00:11:05

And that I think has helped me to really

rely on the Lord for my strength and

190

: 00:11:11

to see ways that he provides for me.

191

: 00:11:14

And to help me recharge but I've learned

that nothing refreshes me like his word.

192

: 00:11:19

So I have prioritized that, as

you were saying, like that, that

193

: 00:11:23

just to me, that is my self care.

194

: 00:11:26

Every day I can walk away

from the word feeling like,

195

: 00:11:29

I can do it, thank you, Lord.

196

: 00:11:30

I can do it.

197

: 00:11:31

And I've, my spirit feels lighter.

198

: 00:11:33

So that's become number one for me.

199

: 00:11:35

And I had to give up some

other things to do it.

200

: 00:11:38

My kids probably don't eat as healthy

a breakfast anymore so that I can make

201

: 00:11:42

that a priority, it used to be eggs and

oatmeal and smoothies every morning.

202

: 00:11:46

And those things are a little bit

more stretched out now and the trade

203

: 00:11:50

off, it's just been something I needed.

204

: 00:11:52

to do.

205

: 00:11:52

that's practically what that's

looked like for me in this journey

206

: 00:11:55

that the Lord's brought me on.

207

: 00:11:57

I do feel that the Lord does provide.

208

: 00:12:00

And gives me wisdom and surprises me

maybe it's a little gift that my sister

209

: 00:12:06

in law sends me maybe it's silly that I'm

saying that in self care, but when I see

210

: 00:12:10

the ways that the Lord cares for me, I

don't have to advocate for myself as much

211

: 00:12:15

now I see that the Lord cares for me.

212

: 00:12:18

And now I can just keep

moving throughout the day.

213

: 00:12:22

Thanking him that I have the energy

to pour into others, that's been

214

: 00:12:26

a big, shift for me to, to just.

215

: 00:12:30

Look to him for that help, that guidance,

praising him for the strength that

216

: 00:12:34

he gives me, but to see the ways that

he does give me rest, like providing

217

: 00:12:38

incredible friends for me that those

life giving conversations, I would

218

: 00:12:42

say that's, I probably will give up

sleep every single time to have a

219

: 00:12:47

great conversation with a friend.

220

: 00:12:48

That's really life giving to me.

221

: 00:12:50

But as I was praying Lord, what do you

want me to say on the topic of self care?

222

: 00:12:55

I was.

223

: 00:12:55

A little bit surprised the path

that he took me on through his word.

224

: 00:13:00

the scripture that came to mind

right away is from Matthew: 11:28

225

: 00:13:07

Come to me, all who labor and are

heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

226

: 00:13:12

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.

227

: 00:13:15

For I am gentle and lowly in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls.

228

: 00:13:20

For my yoke is easy.

229

: 00:13:22

And my burden is light.

230

: 00:13:24

And I don't think that when you're

trying to keep little ones alive and

231

: 00:13:29

safe and fed and clothed and bathed and

exercised and taken to the doctor and

232

: 00:13:35

the dentist and everything, I don't think

it feels easy and light all the time.

233

: 00:13:42

But if his word says it is.

234

: 00:13:44

Then we need to believe it and we need

to press in We obviously think about

235

: 00:13:47

the physical a yoke on an oxen But for

rabbis the yoke was their teaching so

236

: 00:13:53

take my teaching my instruction upon

you learn from me And Jesus, has anyone

237

: 00:13:58

ever been more interrupted have more

demands upon them I mean he constantly

238

: 00:14:03

had people pressing in on him and yet He

did take the time to step away, to pray

239

: 00:14:08

continually, to commune with the Father.

240

: 00:14:12

But he also honored the Sabbath.

241

: 00:14:14

And I believe that if we really

honor the Sabbath, I think a lot of

242

: 00:14:20

our desire for self care will fade.

243

: 00:14:23

The Lord, in the Old Testament,

continually rebukes His people

244

: 00:14:27

for not honoring the Sabbath.

245

: 00:14:28

And I don't think that he wants

that to change about his people.

246

: 00:14:34

I want to be careful.

247

: 00:14:35

I know it is not a biblical mandate

in the new Testament, but I don't

248

: 00:14:40

believe that the wisdom of it.

249

: 00:14:41

Is something that should

be neglected for believers.

250

: 00:14:45

I think Jesus was very clear that

we should honor, um, the heart of

251

: 00:14:50

the Sabbath and not turn it into.

252

: 00:14:53

Um, a list of do's and don'ts.

253

: 00:14:56

But I also believe that we are

living in a culture of people looking

254

: 00:15:00

for a break all the time and God.

255

: 00:15:03

Absolutely has a plan for this.

256

: 00:15:06

In his word.

257

: 00:15:07

And the scripture I'm going to read next.

258

: 00:15:10

Does refer to a spiritual state of

rest in knowing we are secure in our

259

: 00:15:15

eternity and living in light of that.

260

: 00:15:18

But I just think it's an interesting

principle to meditate upon.

261

: 00:15:23

Steph: Hebrews 4:9-13 says, So

then, there remains a Sabbath

262

: 00:15:30

rest for the people of God.

263

: 00:15:32

For whoever has entered God's

rest has also rested from his

264

: 00:15:36

works as God did from his.

265

: 00:15:39

Let us, therefore, strive to enter

that rest, so that no one may fall

266

: 00:15:44

by the same sort of disobedience.

267

: 00:15:47

And then I think it's interesting

that these are the next verses.

268

: 00:15:50

For the word of God is living and active,

sharper than any two edged sword, piercing

269

: 00:15:56

to the division of soul and of spirit,

of joints and of marrow, and discerning

270

: 00:16:00

the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

271

: 00:16:03

Those words, like the Sabbath rest

remains for the people of God.

272

: 00:16:09

And then it says, strive to enter

that rest, which sounds like a

273

: 00:16:14

contradiction, but we have to be diligent

to believe there is a rest when we

274

: 00:16:20

follow the principles of God's word.

275

: 00:16:22

As you're saying, like forgiving,

serving, sacrificing, there is a rest

276

: 00:16:28

in that if we do it to honor the Lord.

277

: 00:16:32

And then when it says the word of God

is living and active, piercing to the

278

: 00:16:36

division of soul and spirit, the Lord can

help us discern how in any circumstance.

279

: 00:16:42

To, provide rest for our souls.

280

: 00:16:45

What is he doing?

281

: 00:16:46

How can we strive to enter that rest?

282

: 00:16:48

What does it look like?

283

: 00:16:50

What do we need to give up?

284

: 00:16:51

Maybe we need to make some hard decisions.

285

: 00:16:55

But we shouldn't be looking at God as

saying He didn't provide in our situation.

286

: 00:17:00

We should be willing to make

the hard choices to experience

287

: 00:17:03

that rest that He wants for us.

288

: 00:17:05

And even, knowing, Lord, I actually

don't know what I need right now.

289

: 00:17:10

I think the Lord can give us guidance in.

290

: 00:17:13

What's life giving and

recharging for us at the time.

291

: 00:17:16

I remember when the kids were

so little and I would just pray,

292

: 00:17:20

Lord, what does Sabbath look like?

293

: 00:17:22

I don't know.

294

: 00:17:23

My husband is tired.

295

: 00:17:25

I'm tired.

296

: 00:17:26

I don't know what to do.

297

: 00:17:27

And I felt like the answer I

kept getting was paper plates.

298

: 00:17:32

Emily: Oh, I love It.

299

: 00:17:34

Steph: I was like, oh, that's

such a sweet, practical thing

300

: 00:17:37

that's what we do on Sundays.

301

: 00:17:40

We eat off of paper plates, and

it just is a little thing that

302

: 00:17:43

we could do even back then.

303

: 00:17:45

That made it a simpler day, I also

so respect in the Hebrew culture

304

: 00:17:50

and the Jewish culture now, they

really prepare for the Sabbath.

305

: 00:17:54

You work hard the day before so

that you can rest on the Sabbath.

306

: 00:17:59

And sometimes for me, it means making

a big pot of soup the day before.

307

: 00:18:04

And I know that's going to be a meal or

two, and that will help me really relax.

308

: 00:18:09

Or maybe making a breakfast

casserole on a Saturday night.

309

: 00:18:13

So that when I wake up on Sunday, we just

put it in the oven and we all enjoy it

310

: 00:18:18

and we put it on our paper plates and it's

a sweet moment together and it's simple.

311

: 00:18:22

So I think if we can look for ways,

like what can I do today to make

312

: 00:18:28

tomorrow really restful for me?

313

: 00:18:31

I think the Lord gives us a lot of

insight in each of our circumstances,

314

: 00:18:35

no matter how complex it is.

315

: 00:18:36

And I know we're probably talking to

working mothers and, mothers in all

316

: 00:18:41

sorts of circumstances and the Lord sees.

317

: 00:18:44

If we believe that Sabbath

rest remains for the people of

318

: 00:18:47

God, let's strive to enter it.

319

: 00:18:50

Maybe all it is instead of scrolling for

15 minutes, What if you just sat for 15

320

: 00:18:56

minutes with a pen and a piece of paper,

and prayed, and asked God, Honestly,

321

: 00:19:01

what could this look like in my life?

322

: 00:19:03

I am racking my brain, and I have

no idea how I could have a break.

323

: 00:19:07

And it might be something silly, like

paper plates, but I think so often we get

324

: 00:19:12

burdened, and I'm just gonna scroll for

a little bit because I'm overwhelmed here.

325

: 00:19:16

Instead of saying, God, I want

to follow you, so will you

326

: 00:19:19

guide me in how to do that?

327

: 00:19:21

And giving him a little time

to actually solve our problems.

328

: 00:19:25

Emily: That's so good Steph.

329

: 00:19:27

I think it's so much easier to check

out than check in when you're exhausted.

330

: 00:19:32

Steph: Yes, what has it

looked like for you as your

331

: 00:19:36

Emily: I love that you brought this

in, this idea of of honoring the

332

: 00:19:41

Sabbath and the self care talk.

333

: 00:19:43

What it has looked like for us,

I once heard a quote that I have

334

: 00:19:48

never forgotten, and it was Your

calendar is an act of worship.

335

: 00:19:53

what you take time for is really what is

going to reign most supreme in your life.

336

: 00:19:59

And we all make those choices,

and they are conscious choices.

337

: 00:20:03

So I often think of the tired mom

that's going from game to game.

338

: 00:20:08

Whatever the choices you've made

in your life our calendar reflects

339

: 00:20:12

it and it is an act of worship.

340

: 00:20:14

So blocking out that Sabbath

day time is so important.

341

: 00:20:19

What it's looked like for us,

and especially now as the kids

342

: 00:20:22

get older, is Just stepping back.

343

: 00:20:27

So we take, we go to church

in the morning, and our church

344

: 00:20:31

here starts a little bit on

the early side, which I like.

345

: 00:20:35

We're out a little bit before noon,

and we have the whole day ahead

346

: 00:20:40

of us, and we don't plan ahead.

347

: 00:20:43

Much, if not anything, every now and

then we might go out for ice cream or

348

: 00:20:47

something, but we don't do anything big.

349

: 00:20:50

And we just take the

day to relax, regroup.

350

: 00:20:54

It may look like a little

bit of homework with dad.

351

: 00:20:57

I emphasize with dad because

I'm not the homework person.

352

: 00:21:00

So it might look like getting a

little extra help in the homework

353

: 00:21:03

world, but overall it's very restful.

354

: 00:21:06

And I agree with you, it has helped our

family be grounded for the week ahead.

355

: 00:21:13

Often we Jake and I will sit down and look

at the calendar together and and group the

356

: 00:21:18

week ahead and get all on the same page.

357

: 00:21:21

But whatever we do, it's always

together, very restful and relaxing.

358

: 00:21:25

And it just helps you enter into

the week in not a tizzy mind

359

: 00:21:31

frame, but in a calm mind frame.

360

: 00:21:33

Now, that might come on Monday

morning, but at least Sunday we are

361

: 00:21:39

honoring the Sabbath and resting.

362

: 00:21:42

And I love that.

363

: 00:21:44

It just makes you have a more balanced

approach as you enter into the week.

364

: 00:21:49

And, I think also it's

not really talked about.

365

: 00:21:52

It's so easy to schedule ourselves to the

max and then think, Why am I so exhausted?

366

: 00:21:59

And then when you stop and look

back through your week, you

367

: 00:22:02

realize, Oh, wait a second.

368

: 00:22:03

I really haven't had a moment.

369

: 00:22:06

And we, this was modeled for

us in scripture and everything

370

: 00:22:10

in scripture has purpose and

the purpose of Sabbath is rest.

371

: 00:22:14

And I love that you said that

they took that time to prepare.

372

: 00:22:19

And so nothing ever

happens by happenstance.

373

: 00:22:23

It happens with God.

374

: 00:22:24

often, great preparation.

375

: 00:22:26

So it may take the day before

to prepare for it, but it's

376

: 00:22:30

always worth it in the end.

377

: 00:22:33

Steph: yes, and then

getting our kids involved

378

: 00:22:35

There are a couple, French toast

casseroles that my kids can help me

379

: 00:22:39

with and they think it's really special,

they can whisk the eggs and milk and I'm

380

: 00:22:43

cutting the bread and then it's a sweet

moment that we're spending together and

381

: 00:22:46

then it doesn't feel like drudgery, like

I'm up on a Saturday night and, everyone

382

: 00:22:50

else is in bed laying out our clothes

for church the night before, that's,

383

: 00:22:55

you It's always been a big one for us.

384

: 00:22:57

I don't lay out my clothes the day

before because I guess I want to allow

385

: 00:23:01

a little flexibility , but for my

kids, that's always been a helpful

386

: 00:23:05

thing, and then of course expecting

that there's going to be chaos.

387

: 00:23:09

I'm not expecting that I'm going to

I can't open a novel and read for six

388

: 00:23:12

hours when I have four young children,

that's not going to happen, I think

389

: 00:23:17

it's taken me years to just adjust my

expectations of what the rest could

390

: 00:23:21

look like, and then We always do rest

times, and on Sunday they're longer.

391

: 00:23:27

On a normal day, quiet time or rest

time for my kids, they're not allowed

392

: 00:23:31

to pull out like a toy or anything.

393

: 00:23:34

It's more like reading and just resting.

394

: 00:23:35

But on Sundays Especially when they

were younger, we'd be like, okay it's

395

: 00:23:39

going to be an hour and a half, and you

can get out the mag formers, or you can

396

: 00:23:42

get a puzzle out of the game closet.

397

: 00:23:45

So they could, quietly do

those things in their rooms.

398

: 00:23:48

And then they knew that

they get to play outside and

399

: 00:23:50

everything when they come down.

400

: 00:23:51

But,

401

: 00:23:52

Just the little tips the Lord

gives you along the way of,

402

: 00:23:55

how can I make this work?

403

: 00:23:57

Because it does feel impossible and

daunting when they're really little.

404

: 00:24:02

Emily: Yes, when they're little it does.

405

: 00:24:04

I, yes, we always got home from

church when they were young

406

: 00:24:07

and laid them down for a nap.

407

: 00:24:09

And I remember that sigh of relief

because, let's be honest, getting out

408

: 00:24:14

the door on a Sunday morning and if

you have a daughter, you're doing her

409

: 00:24:18

hair, your hair and by the time you

do all of it, get out the door, walk

410

: 00:24:24

into church, and make it back home.

411

: 00:24:27

It, rest time is absolutely essential.

412

: 00:24:31

And it's well earned.

413

: 00:24:33

Steph: I know.

414

: 00:24:33

I feel like there's no hungry,

like a Sunday after church hungry.

415

: 00:24:37

What is it about?

416

: 00:24:38

Getting out the door and, just giving

your whole heart in worship and

417

: 00:24:41

listening attentively and, I don't know,

418

: 00:24:44

when I was growing up in the church,

Proverbs 31 was brought up all the

419

: 00:24:48

time and I made this huge poster

in my room, and I just wanted to be

420

: 00:24:52

her, and It feels like culturally

we're getting away from that desire.

421

: 00:24:56

I really appreciate the authenticity

of this generation that we don't

422

: 00:25:01

need to have it all together.

423

: 00:25:02

We don't need to have it perfect.

424

: 00:25:03

We don't want to be the people who get

in the car at, and yell at our children

425

: 00:25:07

because the Sunday morning was stressful

and then put on the happy face for church.

426

: 00:25:11

That is not the Lord's heart for us.

427

: 00:25:13

And yet godly women.

428

: 00:25:16

Do make peace in their homes and they have

an impact and a woman a mother makes such

429

: 00:25:21

an impact in the home and when I look at

Proverbs 31 verse 27 says she looks well

430

: 00:25:27

to the ways of her household and does

not eat the bread of idleness and Verse

431

: 00:25:31

30 says charm is deceitful and beauty is

vain But a woman who fears the Lord is

432

: 00:25:36

to be praised give her the fruit of her

hands and let her works praise her in the

433

: 00:25:42

We are called to work hard and

there will be fruit from it.

434

: 00:25:46

And in a day and age when we are

inundated with influencers and beautiful

435

: 00:25:52

people who have a message and are

selling something often, to remember

436

: 00:25:57

charm is deceitful and beauty is vain.

437

: 00:25:59

To have that desire to be

a woman who fears the Lord,

438

: 00:26:04

we have to fight to keep that desire,

439

: 00:26:07

instead of, being influenced by the media

yeah, I just think we have to fight for

440

: 00:26:12

that perspective to reign in our hearts,

and that's going to look different for

441

: 00:26:16

each of us, but, I feel that temptation

to care more about my external than my

442

: 00:26:22

internal at times, or to measure myself

by others, but what I'm doing in my home

443

: 00:26:30

is honoring the Lord and His blessing

my family, and that needs to remain the

444

: 00:26:36

Emily: Yes, yes.

445

: 00:26:37

It's so easy to be pulled

by all of the shiny things.

446

: 00:26:42

And yes I agree with you getting away from

Proverbs 31 from the Proverbs 31 woman

447

: 00:26:49

is definitely a relevant thing today.

448

: 00:26:52

But, as it says, but a woman who

fears the Lord shall be praised.

449

: 00:26:56

And the fear of the Lord is I

think what brings us around to.

450

: 00:27:03

Having a right perspective and having

a right perspective about self care

451

: 00:27:09

and our home and giving ourselves

and how much do we give ourselves and

452

: 00:27:14

this idea of the Sabbath and honoring

the Sabbath the Lord is the one who

453

: 00:27:18

gives the wisdom in our homes for

us to keep the proper perspective

454

: 00:27:23

of what we should and shouldn't do.

455

: 00:27:26

Steph: Yes, and believing

that God sees it,

456

: 00:27:29

We talked in an earlier episode about

that audience of one, and it's an idea

457

: 00:27:34

we'll be coming back to again and again

because It really, what we do is for Him.

458

: 00:27:39

But scripture says that He's a rewarder,

in Hebrews 11:6 it says, And without

459

: 00:27:45

faith it is impossible to please Him.

460

: 00:27:48

For whoever would draw near to God

must believe that He exists and

461

: 00:27:53

that He rewards those who seek Him.

462

: 00:27:56

If you're thinking right now, I have no

idea how to do this, seek Him in faith.

463

: 00:28:02

Give him that opportunity to show you

what it could look like, and believe that

464

: 00:28:07

he's going to reward you for seeking him.

465

: 00:28:09

What a promise that is,

466

: 00:28:10

Emily: yes.

467

: 00:28:11

And even how he leads us so differently,

same goal, but he leads us differently

468

: 00:28:17

because we all have different needs.

469

: 00:28:19

Even when we were talking about this

topic of self care he led you to this

470

: 00:28:24

idea of honoring the Sabbath and and he's

led me to the idea of Philippians 2:3.

471

: 00:28:31

He's so good to work.

472

: 00:28:35

In us, through us, on us in these

individual ways and he's so good to lead

473

: 00:28:41

us to these places that is just right

for you and the reward will be for you

474

: 00:28:49

and meeting you right where you're at.

475

: 00:28:51

He's so faithful in that way.

476

: 00:28:53

Steph: Absolutely.

477

: 00:28:54

Emily: take that leap and give it to

him, release control and give it to him.

478

: 00:28:59

Steph: Maybe self care is the pursuit

of holiness, not just the pursuit

479

: 00:29:04

of honoring our temporal body,

480

: 00:29:06

To sum it up, we're looking for

eternal benefits for our soul,

481

: 00:29:10

for our sanctification over

something that is so fleeting.

482

: 00:29:15

Emily: And temporal.

483

: 00:29:16

Yes.

484

: 00:29:17

Steph: Emily, would you close us with

a passage that was laid on both of

485

: 00:29:21

our hearts about self care, Psalm 23?

486

: 00:29:24

Emily: Yes.

487

: 00:29:24

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

488

: 00:29:27

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

489

: 00:29:30

He leads me beside still waters.

490

: 00:29:33

He restores my soul.

491

: 00:29:35

He guides me in paths of

righteousness for His namesake.

492

: 00:29:39

Even though I walk through the

valley of the shadow of death, I will

493

: 00:29:43

fear no evil, for you are with me.

494

: 00:29:47

Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

495

: 00:29:50

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

496

: 00:29:55

You have anointed my head with oil.

497

: 00:29:58

My cup overflows.

498

: 00:30:00

Surely, Goodness and loving

kindness will follow me all the

499

: 00:30:05

days of my life, and I will dwell

in the house of the Lord forever.

500

: 00:30:11

Steph: It's such a beautiful passage,

and beautiful promises, he makes me

501

: 00:30:16

lie down in green pastures, he leads me

beside still waters, he restores my soul.

502

: 00:30:21

And then Emily, you had a really

interesting point about verse four.

503

: 00:30:27

Emily: Yes, it says, even though I

walk through the valley of the shadow of

504

: 00:30:30

death, I fear no evil for you are with me.

505

: 00:30:34

I think often we walk through the

valley of the shadow of death and

506

: 00:30:38

that looks so different for all of us.

507

: 00:30:40

But while we're in the valley, we are so

busy trying to claw and search our way

508

: 00:30:46

out that we often forget that the Lord

is the one who brought us to the valley.

509

: 00:30:52

And he will also, just like he

brought us there, he will be the one

510

: 00:30:56

who brings us out of the valley, but

it will never be before its time.

511

: 00:31:02

It will always be after we have learned

the lesson that he wants us to learn,

512

: 00:31:08

but he will always make a way out for us.

513

: 00:31:12

I found that so comforting that we don't

have to figure out a way out always.

514

: 00:31:16

He is the one who leads us out.

515

: 00:31:19

Steph: You're listening and you're in a

particularly difficult season maybe caring

516

: 00:31:23

for others or grieving a loss or just

acknowledging that your family is not what

517

: 00:31:28

you expected for it to look like, or maybe

it's what you wanted it to look like.

518

: 00:31:33

It's just a lot more

exhausting than you expected.

519

: 00:31:36

We believe that he restores your

soul and we want to point you

520

: 00:31:40

to his word and point you to.

521

: 00:31:43

A life of holy satisfaction in Him.

522

: 00:31:47

We hope you received some ideas that were

really refreshing for you, and that you

523

: 00:31:51

were encouraged to sit before the Lord and

ask him how this can apply to your life.

524

: 00:31:56

Maybe you've got this all

figured out and we'd love it.

525

: 00:31:58

If you'd fill out a form on our

website and tell us all about your

526

: 00:32:02

self care or Sabbath practices.

527

: 00:32:05

We know you're busy, Mama, so

we are truly grateful you joined

528

: 00:32:08

us for this episode of Again.

529

: 00:32:11

If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

530

: 00:32:13

foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

531

: 00:32:17

EntrustedMinistries.

532

: 00:32:20

com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

533

: 00:32:24

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

534

: 00:32:28

world, and we want it for you, too.

535

: 00:32:30

Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

536

: 00:32:34

from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

537

: 00:32:38

We're rooting for you.

538

: 00:32:40

To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

539

: 00:32:45

calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good and every work of faith by

540

: 00:32:51

His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

541

: 00:32:57

Him, according to the grace of our God.

542

: 00:32:59

And the Lord Jesus Christ.

543

: 00:33:02

Amen.

544

: 00:33:04

Until we meet again.