#64. Can Christmas Still Be Meaningful If Mom Sits Down Too? + Our Thoughts on Jolly Old Saint Nick

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They're the joyful agains our children

shout on the swings, the exhausting

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agains of cooking and laundry, and

the difficult agains of discipline.

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So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

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So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

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to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

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We believe God's Word is

the key to untangle from the

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confusion and overwhelm we feel.

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Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

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Welcome back to the weekend podcast.

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I'm your host, Stephanie Hickox.

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And this is brought to you

by entrusted ministries.

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Last Christmas season, Jen Frackman

Emily deal, Betsy Corning, and I sat

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down for a lengthy conversation covering

all of our Christmas decorating tips.

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Favorite recipes, advent

recommendations, and more.

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But I know you're busy and

I have taken the best clips.

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So you can really get that information

right away and get to your traditions.

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Of course, if you'd like to listen

to the episodes in their entirety,

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I will link those in the show notes.

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This episode will cover our

favorite Christmas recipes.

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How we decide if a tradition

is sustainable and how we

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try to keep things simple.

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We'll also cover some of our

thoughts on gift-giving with

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our children and with siblings.

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And one of our favorite traditions

that actually helps us relax.

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Then we'll wrap up with talking about.

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Our ideas on Santa's perhaps

you've been developing some

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convictions of your own and you'd.

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Enjoy.

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Listening to where the Lord has

personally brought us on this topic.

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And you might appreciate knowing

that we didn't all line up with

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the same ideas on this subject.

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All right.

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Let's get to it.

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We'll start by talking about

our favorite Christmas recipes.

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Betsy: We make, and

it's the simplest thing

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in the world, is to make, peppermint bark.

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And, just you buy the guitared

white chocolate chips and buy

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some peppermint canes that you

crunch up, or you can buy it.

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already crunched even, and that's it.

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You can add vanilla.

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Little bit of milk, but you just want

the consistency of the chocolate to stay

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smooth and pour it in a pan and then put

it in the refrigerator and break it apart.

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It's the easiest thing.

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And so we make that a lot.

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You can put a layer of

chocolate on it if you

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want to underneath,

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And lots of cookies.

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I'm always looking for fun,

colorful cookies to make.

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Stephanie: Birthday cake for

Jesus is number one, recipe

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that we just have to do that.

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A lot of times it's chocolate.

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And, I've even let them have scrambled

eggs and birthday cake for Jesus

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as a Christmas morning breakfast.

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Betsy: Uh, uh, uh,

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Stephanie: I

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Really like to make a French toast

casserole the night before then put

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that in while we're opening presents and

that makes for such a peaceful Christmas

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morning and I keep My son that's a little

bit more introverted than my other three

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and he's a little bit of a night owl

often helps me as I'll send the others

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to bed and he'll help me make a French

toast casserole and he does a great job.

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There's a creme brulee one I like and then

a berry sourdough one which it doesn't

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call for sourdough bread but I changed

it to sourdough and then I used oat milk

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and it turned out pretty great recently.

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Jen: We do a charcuterie tray and

I like it because I am not stuck

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to making one specific thing.

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They just know that there's

going to be a spread on it.

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And so I enjoy that because I can be

creative each year and be like what

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do I want to put in at this year?

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What is fun for this part?

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We do have, we make a

Christmas birthday cake.

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And we'll do, I do a French toast

bake, that type of thing as well.

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But throughout the day, we

just munch as the day goes on.

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And so we open up a gift

and then we'll have a.

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I sit down breakfast and then the rest of

the day we just munch but my favorite is

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just not having to feel the pressure as

much of Oh, it has to be this one thing.

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whatever is easy in that moment.

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I had a friend years ago tell me that she

was always careful to make a tradition.

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that she knew she could keep.

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And I was like, that's a wise word.

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If it's something that's going to

be just taking too much time and

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energy and drains you, then that's

not life giving for you either.

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And she had mentioned that.

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Her grandma always made special blueberry

muffins and so she tried to do that, but

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she's there were some years where Costco

blueberry muffins were put in the fold

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and they were still blueberry muffins.

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And I just, I find that so

peaceful for me to remember yes.

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It's okay if it doesn't work out when

the baby is little and nursing, or it's a

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hectic year that it's the being together.

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But if the blueberry muffins was a special

thing, then let Costco make it that year.

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If it's too hard, you know, you still

have them, but Costco can do it.

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But I do, I aspire towards

that and I love that?

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if I'm feeling overwhelmed

to be like, okay.

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Can we do that?

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Still has the memory behind

it, but that might not be so

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hard on me.

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Stephanie: That's such a wise word.

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About counting the cost of the

traditions that we commit to, one

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year, so embarrassing, I served my

mother in law frozen pizza, not even

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good frozen pizza but frozen pizza

for our Christmas dinner you're

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planning for so many different things.

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And it had like Christmas and

our Christmas Eve planned.

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And then we were going

to have family in town.

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and then she came early.

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we went shopping that day and

shopping took longer than we expected.

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And then I like, maybe we can just

go to Costco and buy a pot pie.

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And we're standing in line with the pot

pie And realizing, oh my goodness, this

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takes forever to bake And, it's already

getting late and what are we going to do?

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And it ended up being a frozen pizza.

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And so now we laugh about it with

trying to make everything lovely

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yeah, I remember that one year

you served me pizza for Christmas.

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It's, it's good to be humbled some years,

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Betsy: takes,

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Stephanie: Yeah.

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Betsy: it takes a lot of planning

to have guests, not just for a meal,

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but for.

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Several days.

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Stephanie: instituted

Yalobakaflod a couple years ago,

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which I absolutely love it.

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Do any of you do it?

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Betsy: no, we

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Stephanie: Okay.

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And I am pretty sure that's

the correct pronunciation.

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I did look it up last year.

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Jalabakaflod.

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It is an Icelandic tradition

where on Christmas Eve, they

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exchange chocolate and books.

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And I have decided I, I just love

it because in all of the busyness of

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the traditions and making everything

special and feeding everyone, I

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feel like sometimes at the end

of it, did I just sit with them?

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Did I just enjoy it?

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Even when I'm together the Lego sets with

them, it's like you're still something.

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I just want to relax with them.

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And so we do, sometimes we do it the

night before Christmas Eve and sometimes

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on Christmas Eve, depending on how

our traveling schedule works out.

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But I buy a special book for each of

the kids and then give them chocolate.

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And, maybe it's their

favorite chocolate bar.

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And sometimes I'll make chocolate

lava cakes homemade hot chocolate and

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We Then, as they're getting older,

they'll read on their own for a while.

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And we'll be in our, Christmasy pajamas.

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Some of the kids, when they're

younger, buying like a treasury,

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like Madeline's the Treasury, all

of the books in one, or the Kevin

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Henkes books in one, been special.

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And so I would recommend to any moms

that feel like, where is the peace

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in all of this, in the busyness.

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And it is, it would be a hard thing

to do when your kids are really

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little and can't sit for too long.

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So I'm.

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Excited that I found out about it

when my kids were old enough just rest

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on the couch for a while together.

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Let's turn now to how we handle

gift giving in our homes.

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Jen: we do.

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Sibling Gifts, where we go to the

store and they use their own money

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to buy a gift for their sibling.

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Sometimes we will either do a bigger gift

and they'll draw names, or if they choose

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they want to do each of them buying a

gift, then we'll do a smaller amount.

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And then they can, you know, like

one year they went to five below

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and they picked for everybody.

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So they, each of them bought

three gifts to give, but then

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last year they decided

they wanted to spend

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20 and draw a name.

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And that was really sweet.

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Cause it was a

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little bit more of a nicer gift.

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And it was really fun

to see them pick it out.

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And they're, that is the gift

that they want to give right away.

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First thing, they don't

want to open a gift.

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They want to give their gift.

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And I love that.

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Stephanie: Absolutely.

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We do the same exact thing.

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Same price limit, everything

with the four kids.

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Yep.

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20 limit.

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They draw names and then,

but so excited about that

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Jen: Yeah.

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And I, also do what Betsy does

with writing a code on it.

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I, because they're, like the

size of the box they can guess.

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And so I'm known for putting like a

golf ball in it just to, to turn it.

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And it sounds different

and to throw them off.

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So I.

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Now I do have a code and so now when

they go down, they don't know I have, as

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I wrap it, I put it out and so there's,

right now there's gifts under the tree

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and they have no idea who it's for because

it has a code on it that only I know.

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So it's fun.

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They're like

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trying

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to guess and

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Stephanie: Legos.

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And so I will,

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Betsy: Oh!

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Stephanie: wrap up boxes of cereal a lot.

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And they'll, but they'll be

excited too because it's don't let

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them eat those kind of cereals.

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Anyway, and so then they're like, that's

still a great gift, but it's not the

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Legos that I thought I was getting.

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Yes, I the

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Betsy: because

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Stephanie: that's fun, yeah.

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Betsy: The, it is a really great,

it really helps a lot because if

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you're shopping for a large amount

of people, like you do when you're a

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grandma, it's really hard to keep it

really out balanced and even, and it

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is even if you have a number of kids.

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That really helps to have the envelope

or to go out on that shopping day.

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We really love that, but we also play

a good attitude game and that is this

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is just something a little extra I

do and this is a hard tradition to

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keep too because now I have to shop

for 18 people it's like a white

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elephant and you go around but there's

Lots of great presence in there,

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but there's always a clunker.

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And one year Johnny fell for the.

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Giant, beautiful box with the bent

up wire hangers and, but to, like

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you start the game and you say,

this is the good attitude game.

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Now you have nothing and you are going

to go home with something, but you

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have to have a good attitude about it.

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and you know what?

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They have an opportunity to trade

it out, but he had the very last

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opportunity to trade it out.

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And he traded for the.

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the.

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box, which now they never pick the

big fancy box, but, this year it

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was actually something really nice.

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Try not to make anybody too upset.

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And lots of times I will, pick it out

at the end, but no, we really want it

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to be, You know, have a good attitude.

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Now, when you play that

game, you know how it goes.

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You go all the way through the lineup

to number 18, but then we start over at

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number one and they can trade it out.

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So now they see everything.

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And by the way, they're wrapped

and they have a ribbon and they

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have to fish for it with a hook.

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It's a toy one.

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It's not a real fishing they

have to fish for their prize.

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it's set on a big table.

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And, always the game

within the game, we call it.

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It's really fun to watch them all.

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Oh my goodness.

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Fling that hook around was dangerous

this year with the little kids,

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so that's just a little extra thing

that you might do to, you feel

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like, Hey, they already know what

they're probably going to get.

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So I want to have

something that's a little

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Emily: So fun.

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Stephanie: we do the something you

want, something you need, something

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to do something to read, and then,

do a shared gift, so what you were

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saying, Jen, but this is their big

gift, and one year it was a fort

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building kit, and one year it was...

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food with this farm stand

when they were younger.

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I guess I like it because it's.

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It takes away part of that possessiveness

and greediness a little bit that this

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is to share and to enjoy together, but

you're still getting something special.

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And then I'm happy to spend a

little bit more on that item.

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One year we used all of our Costco rewards

for an entire year and then put all the

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aunt and uncle money and got a swing set.

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So was really exciting, but

I always have a fun challenge

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for them to open that gift.

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year we did a Christmas escape

room, and they had to solve

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all these puzzles to open it.

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One year, we had them figure

out how many gifts you would

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get in the 12 days of Christmas.

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It can go so quickly to open

up the gifts that they have.

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when they do this challenge together,

it extends the morning, I just like to

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hear the way that they encourage each

other and the teamwork that it produces.

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Also I should say when we give

the something to do, sometimes

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it's been a game that then

we'll play that as a family,

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I like the idea of the gift producing.

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An opportunity for family time.

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now let's talk a little bit

about our thoughts on Santa's.

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Does anyone have a strong conviction

or a strong preference on the topic?

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Emily: We always,

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Jen: Oh, sorry.

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Emily: we always, and we never,

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Jen: was so funny.

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We.

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Emily: No,

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We did set out cookies and milk

for Santa because we made all of

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those sugar cookies, but our kids

never, they knew Santa wasn't real.

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It was just a fun thing that

we just played along with.

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They knew it wasn't real, so we had fun

with it, but we never, but they knew.

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They knew all along.

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And I didn't grow up believing in Santa.

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But and the kids had fun with it.

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We would set it.

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out in a cute little vintage Santa mug.

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And we just had fun with it.

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And we always ask dad, like Jake,

what cookies Santa wanted this year.

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So we just enjoyed it.

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But they always knew

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the real meaning behind Christmas.

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Jen: We didn't do Santa.

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We just, I don't know we

never, we just never did.

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We told them from the beginning yeah,

people are going to ask you in the store,

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Santa's going to bring You and you can

just give them an answer and move on.

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But, they obviously knew about

Santa You can't, I don't think it's

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possible for people to not know about

Santa because everybody does it.

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This year, I actually had a friend

whose daughter, still believes in

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Santa and they go through great

extent to help her to keep that.

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Just magical for them.

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And so we had to talk to my youngest

about like, how do you handle that?

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Like it's not your job to

crush her dreams there.

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So just having to be careful about

that's just not what our family does.

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We're not against it.

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We just always wanted it.

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I always wanted our kids to feel

like we're telling them the truth.

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That's just a personal conviction for

us, that we just wanted to that they

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were hearing the truth from us, but

that's not to say that I think it's...

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Horrible.

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Stephanie: She'll

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still be friends with you Emily

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Jen: Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Betsy: Well, I mean,

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There was a real Saint Nick,

so you can tell him about that,

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the idea is to be giving and charitable

yeah, the whole idea of Santa has

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definitely gone to the extreme.

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I would let my kids, if they wanted

to, get a picture with Santa, but

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they always knew that it wasn't, real.

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We always said, everything we have

comes from the Lord, not Santa.

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But, don't rain on people's parades

if they're pretty serious about it,

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except, I don't understand why people

would be really serious about it.

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Because there's other things that are

so much more serious and more important.

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But there's some pretty

cute things out there.

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But I just never bought

anything with Santa.

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We just never had Santa

in our house at all.

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He just wasn't in there.

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But not to say that we didn't

see a book that had Santa on it.

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Or that you might see, some

really cute little mugs, it's

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just a personal preference.

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You just have to know what the truth

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is and that everything

comes from the Lord.

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: 00:16:29

Stephanie: yeah, that's

a great distinction.

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When I was in college, I heard one

of, the guys in our campus ministry

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say, My parents didn't want to teach

us about Santa and teach us about

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: 00:16:41

God and have us find out Santa wasn't

real and think God wasn't real.

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: 00:16:46

And just at that moment, I was like, all

right, like my mind's made up and not

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: 00:16:50

because you can't do both, but because

like you said, Jen, that I want my kids to

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know that I will tell you the truth, but

I feel like it's such a displaced focus.

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: 00:17:04

Everything magical about

Santa is true of Jesus.

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: 00:17:09

he Rides through the clouds, you can

read in scripture about how, Jesus has

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: 00:17:13

returned and he's gonna come on the clouds

and the Santa, he sees you when you're

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: 00:17:17

sleeping, he knows when you're awake.

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: 00:17:18

I feel like when it's about Santa,

it's almost creepy and he's record

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: 00:17:22

keeping, but with the Lord, that's for

our protection and our goodness and

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tenderness, and he gives good gifts.

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: 00:17:31

And he's a generous father.

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All of the great things about

Santa are true of Jesus.

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: 00:17:37

And so why would I spend

time focusing on that?

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: 00:17:40

Betsy: Give his glory to another.

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: 00:17:41

Stephanie: Yes.

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: 00:17:42

I remember finding out that Santa

wasn't real and I was crushed and just

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: 00:17:48

I feel like, how could you lie to me

and felt like part of my childhood died.

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: 00:17:53

And so I think some even I have

some relatives that are like,

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: 00:17:57

how could you take that magical

part away from your children?

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: 00:18:01

But I feel no, I want to teach them.

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: 00:18:04

About all of that hope and

all of that pure heartedness.

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: 00:18:09

That's yes and amen and Jesus.

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: 00:18:11

And so you can, we can actually

steward that and encourage it by

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saying you're right, like you,

you were built for something

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: 00:18:19

magical, for something supernatural

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: 00:18:21

And

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: 00:18:22

Emily: Yes.

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: 00:18:23

Yes.

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: 00:18:24

Betsy: And Jesus just doesn't

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: 00:18:25

disappoint when you hear

about who he really is.

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: 00:18:28

I'm never thought about that.

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: 00:18:30

I'm going to have to meditate on

that for a little while for sure.

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: 00:18:33

But really we might have strong thoughts

on it, but we know that it's a personal

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: 00:18:37

preference and Emily I'm sure that your.

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: 00:18:41

Vintage bug is adorable and we

would gladly drink out of them.

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: 00:18:45

If we were celebrating at your house.

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: 00:18:47

Betsy: I've

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: 00:18:48

seen some

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: 00:18:48

pretty cute

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: 00:18:49

Santa things I have.

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: 00:18:51

Jen: I find it would be

exhausting to keep it going.

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: 00:18:55

Like I would be like, Oh man,

we gotta keep doing this.

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: 00:18:59

And I don't just it freed me so much

to be like, yeah, he's not real.

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: 00:19:03

Sorry.

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: 00:19:04

Betsy: It's interesting that the two

main holidays, Christmas and Easter,

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: 00:19:08

there's secular view of, eclipsing that

with an Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.

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: 00:19:16

And where we feel the Santa Claus

is benevolent, I don't know what the

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: 00:19:20

Easter Bunny does, but Neither one

of those, even though we might have

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: 00:19:25

a bunny cake or an Easter egg hunt or

whatever, and we do that, it doesn't

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: 00:19:30

mean they know that Jesus reigns

supreme in everything and every day.

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: 00:19:36

But we also do love to do some

I love a good imagination and

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: 00:19:41

some fun and some creativity.

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: 00:19:43

And I think, imaginary things and

things with little children are fun.

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: 00:19:46

And I think that's the thing

that people are gravitating

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: 00:19:49

towards with their children.

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: 00:19:51

But we just have to be careful

that it never eclipses the true,

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: 00:19:55

one who never forsakes, never,

fails us, never disappoints us,

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: 00:20:00

Stephanie: We are looking

for more monthly donors.

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: 00:20:03

Even the smallest gifts are such a

blessing to us as we plan how to move

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: 00:20:07

forward with wisdom in the projects,

the Lord has laid on our hearts.

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: 00:20:10

If you've been blessed by this podcast

or by this ministry, please head to

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: 00:20:14

our website and to the donate page.

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: 00:20:16

And consider giving to help

us continue in our efforts to

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: 00:20:20

spread the glory of God in homes.

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: 00:20:22

We know you're busy, Mama, so

we are truly grateful you joined

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: 00:20:26

us for this episode of Again.

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: 00:20:28

If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

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: 00:20:31

foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

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: 00:20:35

EntrustedMinistries.

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: 00:20:37

com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

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: 00:20:42

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

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: 00:20:45

world, and we want it for you, too.

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: 00:20:48

Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

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: 00:20:51

from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

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: 00:20:55

We're rooting for you.

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: 00:20:58

To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

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: 00:21:03

calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good and every work of faith by

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: 00:21:08

His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

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: 00:21:14

Him, according to the grace of our God.

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: 00:21:17

And the Lord Jesus Christ.

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: 00:21:20

Amen.

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: 00:21:21

Until we meet again.